Essay on Gender Roles in Relationships

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The following paper will explore three TV sitcoms: Friends, That ‘70s Show, and How I Met Your Mother, to further understand if overtime, any patterns have emerged on stereotypical gender roles in television comedy. These three shows took off mostly to ‘90s babies in their late 20’s and early 30’s. This was due to many members of Generation X wanting to delay ‘real’ adulthood for as long as they possibly could, after having followed the American Dream of getting a college degree and finding very little joy on that path. Over-educated and under-paid, Generation X felt abandoned by the idea of a traditional family, so they made their own 'pseudo families' out of their friends and roommates (Chaney, 2019). Considering all three shows demonstrate a connection through their TV-style, character tropes, and narrative conventions, they will be investigated based on their similarities and differences of three primary themes. This paper will explore if there's been a dominance, in terms of perceived gender norms, exhibited in those sitcoms and if it's partially responsible for society's progress or decrease in acceptance. An analysis of individual episodes and characters from each show will be focused around stereotypical gender roles, performing masculinity, and female objectification.

'Gender and Popular Culture' by Katie Milestone and Anneke Meyer is a book that analyzes the role of popular culture within the complex construction of gendered identities in our modern society. The main idea is illustrated through a wide range of popular cultural forms about how masculinity and femininity are produced, expressed, and consumed. The authors investigate who creates popular culture, why gendered patterns occur, and how they impact on content. They then explore how men and women are portrayed in contemporary popular culture, and the construction of seemingly (in)appropriate masculinity and femininity ideas. Finally, the book examines who consumes what in popular culture and how individuals are affected by absorbing these representations of gender (Milestone & Meyer, 2012).

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The theme of stereotypical gender roles is presented in these shows with characters who displayed typical characteristics associated with being male or female through a variety of everyday situations and unexpected comedic scenarios. This theme, along with the other two, will be discussed, compared and contrasted to Friends, That ‘70s Show, and How I Met Your Mother. Aired from 1998 – 2006, That ‘70s Show, focuses on the lives of six teenage friends; Eric, Kelso, Hyde, Fez, Donna, and Jackie, living in the fictional Point Place, Wisconsin, in the 1970s (“That ‘70s Show”, 2019). In the fourth episode of the first season, “Battle of the Sexists” Jackie warns Donna that Eric will never be her boyfriend if she continues to beat him in various games and doesn't let him win (1998). Donna’s mother, Midge, agrees with Jackie and explains to her daughter that women have to pretend to be weak and fragile so that men don’t have their egos bruised (1998). This dialogue explores how the stereotypical gender expectations for women is to please men and be the damsel in distress to make men seem like the more significant and capable gender (Milestone & Meyer, 2012). In the same episode, Red, Eric’s father, gets his hours cut at his job, which causes him to furiously ‘fix’ things around the house that did not need fixing in the first place. Throughout the episode, Kitty, Eric’s mother, does not like this because he ends up breaking their belongings. So, rather than hurting Red’s self-esteem, she tells him that he has done such a great job fixing things around the house that there isn’t possibly anything else to fix. Also, when it comes to parenthood, Red and Kitty’s responsibilities are immeasurably diverse. According to Red, when it comes to Eric, it is Kitty’s job to “tell him that he’s cute and to wash behind his ears,” and it is Red’s job to “make him a man” (1998). Unlike Red, Kitty is exceptionally kind, gentle, and nurturing, his ideal counterpart in this nuclear family model. In their 1970s household, it is virtually unheard of for Red to clean, or cook or do any other ‘traditionally feminine’ house chore. In season two, episode eight, she is called into work the night shift as a nurse, which Red is not happy about, and he exclaims, “Kitty, you work so hard as it is. I do not want you working double shifts” (The Sleepover, 1999). Disregarding this comment, Kitty explains that she is going to take the shift and that she will need to prepare a meal before she goes because her husband is unable to do so (1999). Under traditional gender roles, the woman is eventually forced to become the active partner in the relationship while the men are solely responsible for the pursuit of the opposite sex. After this stage, the roles are reversed, and it is left up to the woman to take charge of most aspects of their lives and relationship, while the men get to do nothing (Halberstam, 2012).

Friends is an American sitcom TV series aired from 1994-2004 and follow six reckless adults living in Manhattan; Rachel, Ross, Joey, Chandler, Phoebe and Monica, and the adventures, romances, and struggles of their lives (“Friends”, 2019). While the show’s airdate was mostly in the same period as That 70s Show, the story is set almost 30 years later, and therefore, it will provide a unique take on the theme of stereotypical gender roles. The matter of negative gender roles and stereotypes is prevalent throughout the episodes that were watched in preparation for this paper. It demonstrates how traditional gender roles affect the way individuals view themselves, interact with the people around them, and live their everyday lives (Milestone & Meyer, 2012). In season nine, episode six entitled, ‘The One with The Male Nanny’ (2002), Ross and Rachel are interviewing nannies to help take care of their daughter when they are not home. Sandy, the most qualified applicant for the job, turns out to be a man. Ross feels uneasy about this, questions Sandy on whether or not he is gay, and also finds it amusing that he has a feminine name. Rachel very much wants to hire him, but Ross refuses, and he makes it clear that he believes a nanny is a job for a woman, not a man. Sandy’s character is entirely emotional and exhibits various qualities that society typically views as ‘feminine.’ This reinforces the gender stereotype of showing emotion as a feminine quality and not considered masculine, creating the notion that being an overemotional man, makes him a homosexual (Milestone & Meyer, 2012). This episode relies heavily on society and their views of the nanny profession being strictly for women and is not suited for a man. In the same episode, we see another typical gender role storyline in which Chandler feels insecure when he finds out that Monica thinks her coworker Jeffrey is the funniest man she has ever met (2002). Chandler then proceeds to bend over backwards telling consecutive jokes to try and prove her wrong. Monica then has to lie to Chandler and say to him that Jeffery told a sexist joke, and now no one thinks he’s funny, just to stroke Chandler's male ego and make him feel better.

Though How I Met Your Mother is a newer, slightly more diverse show, it still portrays multiple cases of stereotypical gender roles for female and male characters. The show aired from 2005–2014 and focused on a character named Ted Mosby, who narrates to his children all of the stories from his 20’s and 30’s which slowly reveal how he met their mother. The show, similar to That ‘70s Show and Friends, revolves around Ted and his four friends Marshall, Lily, Robin, and Barney, who all live close to one another in Manhattan and hang out regularly. In contrast to the shows mentioned above, HIMYM deconstructs gender expectations with Marshall and Lily’s relationship, the two are consistently referred to as the “perfect couple,” they love each other deeply and aren’t embarrassed to show it. Oftentimes, Lily exhibits more masculine traits, and Marshall is more traditionally feminine. A humorous example of this is in season eight, episode twenty-three entitled “Something Old” (2013), when they decide to roleplay as King Kong and a damsel in distress, except Lily is dressed in the gorilla mask, and Marshall is the helpless woman (2013). By playing the “perfect couple” through rebelling against gender roles in a relationship, the show communicates that the outdated, clichéd relationship between a dominant husband and obedient wife is obsolete and is nowhere near the hallmark of a healthy relationship these days (Milestone & Meyer, 2012). The lack of career-successful female characters in sitcom television is an inaccurate reflection of today’s society. The majority of the time, male characters are much more accomplished and are further along in their careers than females. Throughout the first few episodes of 'How I Met Your Mother,' the jobs of the five main characters are revealed, and their gender roles are very clearly portrayed. In terms of the male characters, Ted is a successful young architect, Barney works at Goliath National Bank, and Marshall is a Columbia Law School Graduate working for a top law firm in New York City. However, the two lead female characters Robin and Lily, are a struggling news anchor and a failed painter who ended up as a kindergarten teacher (“How I Met Your Mother”, 2019).

The article titled 'Nothing Suits Me Like a Suit: Performing Masculinity in How I Met Your Mother' by Lauren Jade Thompson explores and uncovers the constructed and conflicted reality of the concept of masculinity (2015). This article focuses on the central male characters Marshall, Barney, and Ted as examples of dominant, residual, and emerging forms of masculine identity. It examines how performance, narrative convention, and production design create these profoundly different versions of manhood. Two versions of single men are presented: the 'bachelor' (Barney) and the 'spinster' (Ted), and the article compares them to understand what application their lingering cultural formations might have in the gendered representations of male singleness and protecting one's manhood (Thompson, 2015).

Performing masculinity is a theme recurring throughout all three shows, and its eternal existence proves writers want viewers to be very aware of its presence. Throughout That ‘70s Show, Red Forman is the perfect embodiment of the “old man” discourse of traditional masculinity (Sheerin & Linehan, 2018). As a white, heterosexual male, Red lives a reasonably privileged life for the 70s. However, things begin to change when Red gets laid off and has to find a new job in season two, episode three, “The Velvet Rope” (1999). Red’s sense of manhood is seriously threatened when he loses his job, given that his ability to provide for his family has become a vital aspect of his identity. Red’s possible employment is made even more difficult due to Red’s sense of masculinity because there are many jobs that he refuses to take. Red turns down a cashier position, even when no other jobs are available to him because he sees the work as being below him. Another ‘70s episode where performing masculinity is displayed in the before mentioned episode “Battle of the Sexes,” in which Donna beats Eric in basketball, making him feel very emasculated by losing to a woman. Eric explains his concern to his friends, asking them if they believe it to be a big deal that he lost to Donna, to which they respond with calling him names and taunting him. Fes (Foreign Exchange Student) replies to Eric by explaining, “In my country, if a woman beats you, it makes them want you more. But this is America… wuss!” (1998). These episodes provide critical elements of what it means for these men to be perceived as masculine and what others will think of them if they do not do what is expected of them.

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Essay on Gender Roles in Relationships. (2024, July 19). Edubirdie. Retrieved December 13, 2024, from https://edubirdie.com/examples/essay-on-gender-roles-in-relationships/
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Essay on Gender Roles in Relationships [Internet]. Edubirdie. 2024 Jul 19 [cited 2024 Dec 13]. Available from: https://edubirdie.com/examples/essay-on-gender-roles-in-relationships/
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