From the beginning of life, the family is the main institution of education. It is the starting point of the entire educational process because what a child acquires in his family in his childhood, he keeps throughout his life. The importance of the family as an educational institution is because the child has been in it for a significant part of his life, and by the length of his influence on the personality, none of the educational institutions can be compared with the family. It bases the foundation of the child's personality, and by the time he enters school he has more than half-formed as a person. However, do not forget that the family can act as both a positive and negative factor in education. Of course, no one can give a child as much love, affection, and care as the closest relatives and parents to him. And at the same time, no other social institution can potentially do as much harm in raising children as a family can do.
A family that is unable to properly raise a child leads to serious violations in the process of socializing the child. Therefore, the problem of the influence of family education on the development and formation of personality is so relevant. In connection with the special educational role of the family, the question arises of how to maximize the positive and minimize the negative effects of the family on the upbringing of the child.
The parenting style has a significant impact on the personality of a teenager. The style of family education is a way of parents' attitude to the child, their application of certain methods and methods of influencing the child, expressed in a peculiar manner of verbal treatment and interaction with the child. Any disharmony in the family leads to adverse consequences in the development of the personality of the child, to problems in his behavior. Extreme types of relationships (authoritarianism or disengaging) negatively affect the mental development of children. The authoritarian style in children causes alienation from parents, a sense of insignificance and unwillingness in the family. The disengage style makes a teenager feel that his parents are useless. The weakening of the parental principle, as well as its hypertrophy, contributes to the formation of a personality with weak confidence. Family education is a focused, conscious educational impact, carried out by parents to form certain qualities and skills. Educational influences are carried out based on a reinforcement mechanism - encouraging behavior that adults consider correct and showing that they violate the established rules, parents introduce a certain system of norms into the child's mind, compliance with which gradually becomes a habit and an internal need for the child; identification mechanism - the child imitates parents, focuses on their example, tries to become the same.
There are various approaches to family education styles. One approach is the traditional approach, which highlights the following parenting styles:
- Authoritative parents: a parenting style in which parents are high in demandingness and high in responsiveness (i.e., they love their children but also set clear standards for behavior and explain to their children the reasons for those standards). Parents are the authority for the child - they take an example from them. Democracy reigns in such families - when deciding important issues, the opinions of all its members are taken into account. Parents set the rules for the child taking into account the needs and interests, always accept the feelings and emotions of their child, are ready to give him autonomy in resolving those issues that he already can do. One of the main features of such a family is flexibility: parents change the system of rules and norms depending on the age of the child. The level of control by adults is high, physical and verbal aggression is absent. A child brought up in a family that uses an authoritative style of upbringing will be distinguished by high self-esteem, determination, willpower, responsibility. Such children are confident in themselves and their abilities, they know what they are striving for, and most often they are friendly. They are ready to fulfill social norms, have a high level of self-control and self-regulation, respectively, the risk of deviant behavior in such families is quite low.
- Authoritarian parents: a parenting style in which parents are high in demandingness but low in responsiveness (i.e., they require obedience from their children and punish disobedience without compromise, but show little warmth or affection toward them). It implies strict methods like 'As I said, it will be so'; parents set the rules and are not ready to change them, the child in the family does not have the right to vote and is forced to obey. Parents tightly control the child, do not accept, and sometimes even reject his feelings and feelings. They love a child, strive to give him all the best - everything except affection and understanding. As a result of such education, the baby will grow up passive, will always be guided by authoritative personalities, and will not be able to take the initiative. In families using an authoritarian parenting style, any leadership manifestations are suppressed. Such children are at risk of dependent behavior.
- Permissive parents: a parenting style in which parents are low in demandingness and high in responsiveness. They show love and affection toward their children but are permissive with regard to standards for behavior. This parenting style is close to anarchy. Everything is possible for a child - he grows up in an atmosphere of complete permissiveness. Parents warmly relate to their child and accept his emotions, fully trust the child, relieving themselves of responsibility for the result. The level of control is low - parents are not able to demand and organize, in fact, not helping the child and not supporting him. Children grow up anxious, nervous, because they do not have clear rules and norms - they do not know how to. Prone to disobedience, aggressiveness, impulsiveness. Problems in kindergarten and school often arise from the need to follow the rules. These children are highly likely to fall under the influence of antisocial groups.
- Disengaged parents: a parenting style in which parents are low in both demandingness and responsiveness and relatively uninvolved in their children's development. This is the most unfavorable parenting style, in which there is no acceptance of the feelings and emotions of the child, and control. Parents are emotionally cold to the child, do not notice his interests, and do not deal with him, while they are very picky - they demand to observe order and obey the requirements. Children from these families are most susceptible to the formation of deviant from the norms of behavior up to the commission of offenses. It is difficult to predict exactly how a child will grow up in such a family - he can be very aggressive and impulsive, or maybe anxious and insecure.
The attitude of parents to children is a system of diverse feelings in relation to the child, behavioral stereotypes practiced in communicating with him, the characteristics of education and understanding of the nature and personality of the child, his actions. Depending on the parenting style, the personality of the child is formed. For example, a child whose parents have chosen an authoritative style will most likely be more independent, creative with high social skills. While a child whose parents choose the disengaging style is most likely to be problematic, impulsive, and prone to self-destruction. The authoritarian style in children causes alienation from parents, a sense of insignificance and unwillingness in the family. Parental demands, when they seem unfounded, either cause protest and aggression or habitual apathy and passivity. An excess towards tolerance also makes the teenager feel that parents do not care about him and prevent him from forming a responsible relationship. Passive disinterested parents cannot be imitated and identified, and other influences — schools, peers, the media — often cannot fill this gap, leaving the child without proper guidance and orientation in a complex and changing world. Permissive style can lead to the fact that the child becomes irresponsible and immature. Excessive protection and love can hurt just as much neglect and disengage.
Emotional relationships in the family play an important integrating role, due to which family members feel as a single community and feel the warmth and support of each other. Relationships of love and sympathy contribute to the reduction of frustrating experiences, without which family life and parenting cannot do. Violation of emotional relationships in the family has a negative impact on the formation of the personality of a teenager.
It should also be noted that the development and formation of the personality depend not only on the style of family education, a huge number of internal factors (factors of the influence of the family microenvironment) and external factors (factors of the macroenvironment) influence the personality. But, nevertheless, the family is the closest environment of the child, therefore its influence is the most significant.
In my opinion, an authoritative style is the most favorable for the formation of a harmonious personality. The most important thing when using it is to define boundaries in early childhood. The liberal style may seem attractive to those parents who care about the freedom and independence of the child, but in reality, it does not bring the proper result. But indifferent and authoritarian styles should be avoided because most often they harm and distort the personality. In any case, children need warmth, emotional communication, understanding, and acceptance. If all this is combined with reasonable rules and prohibitions, it's possible to explain why this is not possible, but it is possible, it is more likely that the child will grow up confident and independent.