Who Am I? Self-Analysis

I’ve thought a lot about how to write this self-analysis, and it is difficult trying to figure out who you are, especially at my age. Trying to dissect why you are the way you are is even harder. Yet I have come to a consensus that I am pleased with. As of now, to the best of my knowledge, this is who I am.

I am quite outgoing around people I know well, but much more shy and withdrawn around people I do not know well. I think that I get this from my mom. My mom is more reserved around people she does not know well like I am. Yet when she and her best friend that she has known since they were 3 are together, it is like she is a different person. My dad is definitely extroverted, so I have to get the shyness from my mom.

I like to escape reality, whether it is by reading a good book, watching television, or just daydreaming, I find it fun to live a different life for a short period of time. It is not that I have a bad life, it is just that I like to not have to worry about the conflicts in my life. It helps to just have that bit of time to see other lives have their happily ever after, and to have all of their problems resolved and tied up in a pretty red bow, never to cause them trouble ever again.

I am an only child, so I had to entertain myself when I was little when my parents were busy. I loved to play make-believe, and I have a good imagination from using it. It comes in use in storytelling for my younger cousins, writing in English class, and whenever I’m bored. Being an only child has caused me to be fine with and even enjoy just being alone. That is helpful in some places, but also sometimes causes me to isolate myself, which I’m working on not doing.

I am an open person, which I get from the way I was raised. My parents have always talked to me about things without babying me, and always encouraged me to talk to them about things going on in my life. Being an open person can be good or bad, depending on the situation in which I’m being open. It helps to form friendships, but also can lead to oversharing.

I am an incredibly loyal person, almost to a fault. My parents raised me to see the best in people, and in doing that, I will sometimes overlook things that I should not. Once I become close with someone, it takes a lot for them to lose my friendship, even if they do not deserve it anymore. Growing up, I read a lot, and when I say a lot, I mean a lot. In the stories, the bullies were obviously the bullies and the friends always made up in the end. That gave me a warped sense of friendship. The stories never said that the friends could be the bullies.

I am a pretty adventurous person, which I get from my parents. I enjoy zip lining and surfing and climbing up onto tall things. I find it fun to spontaneously decide to jump into the lake (I put on a life jacket first) with just my jeans and a t-shirt on instead of changing into a bathing suit. I love big roller coasters, and the combination of thrill and terror that goes along with them. I traveled with my parents when I was little, so I learned from an early age that I loved taking adventures.

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I have realized in the past couple of years that I am never going to meet a worse critic of myself than myself. I really like to do well and I criticize myself when I do not. It is a big part of who I am. This motivates me to study, take good notes, and pay attention in class so I do not have the opportunity to be overly judgmental about how I do. It also is because I hold my standards too high, to me a 93 may as well be a B, anything in the 80’s might as well be a C, and anything under 80 may as well be an F. I have not gotten a B on my report card since 5th grade and I can still to this day tell you exactly what test it was that I messed up on, what part of the test it was, and that it was one point below an A on my report card, which I think is very important to add.

I have lived in Murphy, North Carolina my entire life. Since I live in Murphy, I’ve grown up in a small town that has a tight knit community. I love living in a small town because you know everyone and it’s like a big family, but it also has negative aspects. There isn’t as much diversity people wise or belief wise as there is in in a big city, which is fine, it just means that I’ve grown up seeing things differently than someone my age that’s from a big city. In a town as small as Murphy, it does not fully encompass all of the beliefs and values of the outside world. It is almost like its own little world where the majority of people share very similar beliefs and values. It was a huge culture shock leaving Murphy and seeing how many different perspectives there are on topics that I have only heard one or two sides of.

I am a people pleaser. It stresses me out when people are upset with me, especially if I know that they are rightfully so. I cannot easily do things that I know will make people upset with me. If it is really important to me, it does not matter as much what people think of me, but I would rather not have people upset with me without a good reason. This is just a part of who I am, and I have always been this way. I try to do the right thing and try to follow the rules so I do not disappoint people, especially adults. It does not matter as much to me if it is people my age, only the natural yearn for acceptance leads me to attempt to avoid conflicts. Yet I go out of my way to do try to things correctly if there is a chance that if I do not, an adult’s positive opinion of me will become a negative opinion.

If I could change a few things about myself, I probably would. One change would be to not worry as much as I currently do about what will happen. I would love to be carefree, but not so much that it would affect my grades and morals. It is hard to find a happy medium. There are definitely sometimes that I need to let go and just have fun and not worry about the negatives. I do not enjoy worrying about things that will not matter in the end, so I don't want to do that anymore.

If I could change something else, I probably would be more outgoing around everyone. I used to be like that when I was younger, but then I just got more and more shy. I love the friends I currently have, but it would be more fun to be to just go up and talk to people and become closer with some other people in my classes that my friends are not in. Most of my friends are extroverted so they go up and talk to people and I want to go with them and not awkwardly stand there while they talk.

Now to my future. I want first to graduate high school, and enjoy every day of it while I can. I do not know where I want to go to college, but I definitely want to get my bachelor’s and master’s degree, and I'm thinking about getting a doctorate after my master's program. I think that I want to major in Counseling Psychology, but I am not completely sure yet, so I am grateful that I have time to decide. After I graduate college, I think that I want to get a job being either a counselor for things like everyday stress and anxiety, or to be a marriage/family counselor because both of those professions are interesting to me. I enjoy helping my friends work through their problems, so why not get paid for it?

I also see myself at some point settling down and getting married and having either two or three kids. It is not my main priority, but I do want to. I see myself living in a small town that is within 5 hours of the beach and living in a two-story house with a mini goldendoodle and a husky. I want to take a trip every year, or every other year and go surfing at least once a month. I see my future taking me somewhere that I love.