Teen Leadership I Course Study Guide

Teen Leadership I: Course Study Guide The Attributes of A Successful Leader ● Everyone is a capable leader and people can learn skills that will refine themselves better as a leader ● Leadership provides the opportunity to guide others towards success using skillful nonverbal and verbal communication, strong decision-making, and cooperation among others ● A leader is not someone who concentrates power for themselves, but rather allocates responsibilities and duties effectively among followers ● Leaders have essential traits which include: ○ Ability to learn from failure and shortcomings ○ A balance between work/school and life, plus optimism and realism ○ Confidence to persuade people towards their ideas ○ Enthusiasm and passion for learning ○ Desire to strive for self-improvement ○ Open-mindedness and the ability to gain multiple perspectives on a situation ○ Perseverance and grit in even the hardest of situations ○ The ability to empathize and sympathize with others ● Leaders do not always lead. They must also know when to follow others. ● Leaders are strong communicators and listeners. A common misconception is that leaders have to be loud, extroverted, and always outspoken. That is not the case. Leaders can be introverted and non-talkative, but when the situation arises, they must know how to effectively command their followers and keep their attention towards a task. ● A leader is not perfect. A leader embraces and understands their own flaws and tries to improve them, take advantage of them to benefit the situation and others, or accepts them as an integral part of their identity. Developing a Healthy Self-Concept: Self-Concept The mental awareness that we have of ourselves, what we think we are, and what we believe others perceive of us as a whole in the past, present, and future. ● Your self-concept influences your decisions and actions with your body and mind, with other people, and how you react to your surroundings. ● Self-concepts are ever-changing and are transformed by your outlook on life. They and the type of energy you want to exert towards yourself and others are completely in your control. ● Positive self-concepts allow you to fully unlock your potential and enhance your strengths and abilities, pushing you to be a better person ● Negative self-concepts often result in self-destructive behavior and a failure to accomplish your required goals and ambitions ● Creating a healthy self-concept takes years of practice, commitment, and dedication. It will not happen overnight, but you can take the steps to acknowledge your worth as a human being now. Personal Identity Your individuality and what sets you apart from others. ● Your personal identity includes your name, gender identity, place of birth, place of origin, your background and culture, your ethnicity, the language(s) you speak, occupation, and other aspects of you that define you. ● It develops from childhood into adulthood and is largely absorbed from the opinions and teachings of others. (Ex: background and culture is taught by the family and community you live in). Role def. the set of expectations determined by societal and cultural norms and pressures ● A person’s role is an extension of their personal identity as it discusses the individual in relation with society as a whole ● A role fits societal expectations of that position, such as a mother taking care of her children or a working man generating income at his job and living independently Self-Image Your perception of yourself in the present moment. ● Self-image is skewed by your emotions and opinions, and may not be true to reality. For example, your negative opinions of yourself may lead you to think you are extremely untalented, while in reality, you are probably proficient at numerous skills that others cannot do. ● No one else perceives you how you perceive yourself, because you are the only person who thinks the way you do and views you the way you do. Body Image Your perception of your physical attributes and appearance. ● Body image changes over time and is directly related to self-esteem and self-ideal. ● Teenagers are incredibly susceptible to developing poor body image due to influence on social media, societal expectations, as well as teenage hormones as a result of puberty. Self-Ideal Your perception of yourself in the future, and what you desire or hope to become. ● Includes tangible ambitions and goals you want to achieve in your career or personal life, such as getting a girlfriend or boyfriend next year or losing 20 pounds ● Also includes abstract hopes, dreams, and feelings that you wish to feel in your future life, such as being in love or feeling self-satisfied by your weight loss ● High expectations that are not met by your reality can lead to mental health problems and destructive behavior Self-Esteem Your current emotional experiences and your attitudes towards your value and worth as an individual. ● Negative self-esteem can include feelings of worthlessness and ineffectiveness, leading to anxiety, depression, and pessimism. ● Those with poor self-esteem have very little confidence and are constantly self-critical of themselves ● Positive self-esteem can include feelings of high value and usefulness, leading to optimism and self-acceptance ● Those with good self-esteem have lots of self-confidence and are more inclined to help others and project themselves more positively ● Self-esteem consists of two loci of control: ○ An internal locus of control focuses on positive self-esteem - the fact that you have the power to shape your own destiny ○ Negative self-esteem focuses on the external locus of control - the belief that others have the power to shape your destiny. Respect The action of showing admiration and acceptance towards another being or object. ● You must learn to respect yourself and others in order to maintain a well-balanced selfconcept. You cannot respect others until you learn to respect yourself ● Respect involves acknowledging and accepting the flaws of yourself and others holistically. Use these flaws as points to grow and improve. ● You must learn and forgive your past mistakes in order to gain self-respect. Repeated self-punishment can lead to poor mental health. ● Respect involves appreciating and praising your strengths and those of others. Praise is not bragging. Praise is acknowledging the positive attributes of a person or object and verbally or physically rewarding good actions. Love your personality and differences! ● You must have enough self-respect to not constantly put yourself down and crave validation for others. You must not let the actions of others control you. This leads to an obsessive path of “approval addiction.” ● You must understand that no one has the right to make you do anything. You have complete control over the actions of your body and mind. You should stick to your morals and personality and not change to please the attitudes or opinions of others. ● Always take time to understand yourself and keep control of your emotions. It’s okay if you don’t have everything figured out already, as most teenagers don’t. Just make sure to know what you stand by, what your limits are, and what your passions are. ● Continuously learn and expand your understanding of the world. Pick up a hobby and discover something new that makes you happy. Respect the crafts you are working with and respect yourself as you work with them. ● Be honest with yourself and others. Don’t cheat yourself out of something you need to do, or turn a blind eye to a situation that is clearly hurting you. ● Know when and where to take responsibility. If you have committed a wrongdoing, then make sure to admit your fault in the situation and understand your mistakes. However, know that you are not responsible for everything that happens in your life. Some things are out of your control, so you must learn to adapt to change from wherever it may come. ● Take care of yourself. Make sure to have good hygiene and brush your teeth, shower, and brush your hair. Dress appropriately to the situation. Keeping a regular routine of good things will drastically improve your respect for yourself. Steps to Developing a Greater Self-Concept There is no one who has a completely fulfilled self-concept and does not possess any insecurities whatsoever. However, people can learn to accept their flaws and work towards maximum happiness. 1. Set achievable goals and small steps to take towards bettering yourself, rather than daunting leaps 2. Challenge negative thoughts and actions that you may have and don’t always accept the harsh criticism you give yourself (the “little voice” in your head) 3. Take moments to appreciate yourself 4. Lower your expectations and learn to be satisfied with the best that you could do. The best you can do depends on the situation you are in and your state at that moment and time. Sometimes the best you could do is what you did then, and it’s okay. 5. Don’t constantly compare yourself to others, but compare yourself to yourself. Try to beat what you have instead of trying to unhealthy surpass others. 6. Surround yourself with people who will uplift you and make you happy, rather than people you have to try around and feel constant competition with. 7. Avoid concentrating on the negative opinions of the others 8. Dress for yourself and not for the satisfaction of others. Wear something that makes you feel good and boosts your confidence. 9. Maintain a proper diet and exercise. Understanding Personal Responsibility Personal Responsibility Adhering by societal standards of proper individual behavior Responsible individuals: ● Admit their mistakes and maturely respond to challenges presented them ● Acknowledge that their actions have consequences and directly impact themselves and those around them, and indirectly impact unforeseen circumstances in the future/people they don’t have contact with ● Have strong communication skills to fully understand what is expected of them, whether it be in school or work ● Reflect on mistakes and problem areas to learn from experience ● Ask for feedback from other people and communicate your issues to others to gain outside perspectives ● Do not commit themselves to too many actions or projects that may overload them and scatter their responsibility ● Do not let their pride cloud their judgment and are humble enough to understand their faults ● Have great self-control and deliberately keep their emotions in check, but do not suppress them ● Are incredibly organized and are on top of their responsibilities and necessary duties Proper Goal-Setting All goals must be S.M.A.R.T (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound). Setting Goals ● Lifetime Goals: Long-term goals you want to achieve in your life that frame the rest of the goals you want to accomplish. ● Professional Goals: Where and when do you want to work? What is the biggest thing you want to accomplish as part of your career? What is the highest level you want to get to? ● Educational Goals: What and why do you want to learn? Is there something you want to know? Do you want to learn something else or expand on what you know? ● Relationship Goals: Do you want a girlfriend/boyfriend? Do you want to get married? Do you think you’re better off single? ● Family and Friendship Goals: Do you want to be a parent? Do you want to raise kids? Do you want to mend, end, or begin a relationship with a family member or friend? Do you want more friends? Do you want a certain type or better friends? ● Hobby-Oriented Goals: What do you want to accomplish in your hobby? Do you want to achieve a certain level of skill in your hobby? What do you ultimately want out of the hobby? ● Physical Goals: Do you want to look a certain way? Is there a goal weight you’re trying to achieve? Do you want to be healthy for a long period of time? Do you want to achieve a specific athletic goal? After you’ve identified your long-term goals, set smaller, attainable S.M.A.R.T. goals that you want to accomplish to get there. S - Specific: What exactly do you want to achieve? What do you hope to get out of your goal? What results are you looking for? How do you want to achieve this goal? M - Measurable: Can my goal be measured? If it can’t, what numeric or observational cues will I use to precisely measure it? How will I measure it and how will I continue to track my progress? A - Attainable: Is it achievable in your limits as a person? Is it too far fetched or too easy to accomplish? Do you think it is something you will be able to successfully accomplish, or will it overextend you (financially, mentally, physically, etc.)? R - Relevant: Does it fit with your lifetime goals? Is it something that you are willing to and can work for right now? T - Time-Bound: By what exact date and time do you want to finish something? Do you have enough time to accomplish it? What deadlines do you promise to meet? Example LIFETIME GOAL: I want to be healthy and fit. S - Specific: I want to lose 15 pounds by running 5 miles to the neighborhood park every single morning for the next month. M - Measurable: I can measure this using my weighing scale to see pounds lost and tape measure to see inches lost. A - Attainable: I think this is accomplishable for me and puts my body under the right amount of pressure (not too easy, but not too difficult). R - Relevant: I am 15 pounds over my recommended weight, so losing 15 pounds will help me be in the normal range for my height and age. This will allow me to be more healthy and fit. T - Time-Bound: A month is a healthy and achievable time frame for me to lose 15 pounds. I will be able to pace myself accordingly. Public Speaking and Communication How to Give a Great Speech ● Know and research beforehand about your audience. Tailor your language, vocabulary, and phrases (jokes, references) to the people listening so they can absorb your message. ● Don’t start at the last minute. Cramming your speech into the night before will lead to memory loss and a failed speech, even with notecards. Start rehearsing weeks before. ● Practice with distractions. The room will not be an ideal environment with distractions such as coughing, poor temperature regulation, or outside noises, so prepare your speech to be solid in any circumstance. ● Practice in front of a mirror, so you can understand your verbal and non-verbal cues as you observe yourself. ● Use powerful and purposeful body language, such as eye contact, hand gestures, good posture, facial expressions. Make sure it looks natural, like you’re having a conversation, and not overdone. ● Practice the verbal cues of your speech, such as tone, inflection, volume, and speed to make it seem natural. ● Use humor and emotion in your speech to captivate them beyond a boring topic. ● Dress appropriately and look confident. Confidence can take an average speech into a stellar one if spoken properly. Command the room that you are in, and even if you are not confident, pretending you are will help. Proper Communication Techniques ● Active listening is key to communication. Fully understand what the other person is saying in their tone, body language, words, and ask questions to allow them to further open up to you. Really listen to what they have to say to build up trust and the conversation. ● Don’t overcomplicate it with unwanted advice. When some people have problems, they just want to turn to someone that can listen to them and not problem solve. Ask the other person if they just want you to listen or help you find a solution. ● Be conscious of your body language and nonverbal cues, as well as your tone. Your actions speak louder than words, so you must be mindful of how you look to the other person and what your feelings and thoughts reveal through your movements. ● Be honest and clear. Fully understand for yourself what you want to communicate and articulate your emotions to convey exactly what you want. Don’t try to be secretive, sarcastic, or vague when talking to someone. ● Be friendly, upbeat, and approachable. If you are constantly cynical and sarcastic, then no one will expect a truthful or good answer from you even though you have it. On the other hand, don’t be too friendly, as it can invade other people’s privacy. Also, make sure to set boundaries for yourself as you don’t have time to help everyone. ● Accept and ask for feedback from other people and take constructive criticism. This is a great way to improve yourself and understand your flaws and how to fix them. ● Be tolerant and open-minded. If someone makes a mistake, is annoying, or shares a different viewpoint than yours, don’t immediately jump to criticize them as that will only make you seem defensive and alienate the other. Always remain a calm and accepting demeanor and be open to multiple perspectives. If the other person is wrong, inform them respectfully and not with mishandled emotions. Developing and Nurturing Healthy Relationships Types of Relationships A relationship is an emotional or sexual association and shared interactions between two or more people. Relationships can be formed between parents, relatives, children, close friends, friends, close acquaintances, co-workers, and sexual or romantic partners. ● Healing Relationship: Follows a period of loss, struggle, depression, illness, or emotional or physical instability. Partners feel they desperately need affection from others. Both partners are often dissimilar in ideologies, age, attitudes, sexual experience, but it may be what both partners need at that time. ○ Validation Relationships: A partner stemming from a place of insecurity seeks validation of physical attractiveness, sexual, personality, wealth, intelligence, or other attributes from another person. Often found in teenage and young adult relationships, as teens seek physical and sexual validation as they struggle to discover their identity. Often rely on the romanticized idea of a relationship, focusing mainly on surface-level appearances. ○ Avoidance Relationship: One or both partners protect themselves from experiencing deep intimacy and long-lasting relationships out of fear of getting hurt due to splitting up. These relationships are often mistrustful and secretive. ● Experimental Relationship: Partners both experiment with their tastes in others and explore beyond their comfort zone or type. Often found in modern dating relationships. ● Pasttime Relationships: These relationships are loose, fun, and intended to be nonpermanent from the beginning. Both partners do not get too attached and are in a relationship for recreation. This is often seen in modern relationships, such as summer flings and has the theme of “go with the flow”. ● Scripted Relationships: A relationship that seems perfectly designed, fitting society and their respective families’ expectations of a “perfect match.” Both partners seem compatible in finance, physical beauty, social status, etc. and the couple is often very child and family-oriented. However, partners can become so preoccupied with maintaining appearances that they both struggle to maintain power and some members can feel invisible. These marriages end up in divorce after years or decades of a seemingly ideal relationship. ● Acceptance Relationships: A healthy relationship where both partners love, support, and trust each other, but maintain their independence as individuals. Despite differences, shared commonalities and acceptance of each other’s insecurities allows for wellreciprocated love. ● Individual-Assertion Relationships: The more connected and seamless version of the acceptance relationship, often found in older couples past their 60s. This type of relationship involves complete acknowledgment of each partner’s flaws and full support of personal growth and self-discovery. Partners may seem different, but ultimately share the same mentalities, learn to be incredibly flexible and open with each other, and work towards a common solution. Toxic Relationships “Any relationship between people who don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.” - Dr. Lillian Glass from her 1995 book Toxic People ● All relationships have occasional downsides and fights, but the relationship should be an overall mutually beneficial and positive experience for both individuals ● In toxic relationships, the negative attributes consistently outweigh the positive attributes and both partners are unhappy and mentally, emotionally, and/or physically drained ● One or both partners constantly harm and hurt the other, either intentionally or unintentionally and the environment is more competitive and hostile than supportive ● Toxic relationships can involve one or more forms of abuse: ○ Physical Abuse: The usage of physical violence or force against someone else in a way that endangers them. ▪ Slapping, punching, hitting, pushing, shoving, choking, pinching, bruising, kicking, cutting, and other violent actions ▪ Slamming furniture or other objects on you ▪ Pushing you to use drugs or physical restraints, like handcuffs, without your explicit permission/consent ○ Sexual Abuse: The usage of nonconsensual contact and/or uncomfortable, degrading, or unsafe sexual activity. ▪ Any form of forced or emotionally manipulated sex, even in a situation where you do have consensual sex with your partner ▪ Rape, unwanted sodomy, forced nudity, nonconsensual sexual photographing or videotaping ○ Emotional/Verbal Abuse: The usage of tactics to emotionally manipulate, blackmail, mentally degrade, insult, and/or maintain power over someone else. ▪ Yelling, swearing, insulting ▪ Constantly making you feel stupid, rejecting your thoughts and opinions, or publicly embarrassing you ▪ Gaslighting, which is making you question the validity of your own thoughts and feelings by manipulating the truth ▪ Isolating you by keeping you in the house, not allowing you to see your friends or family, not allowing you to move or go outside, not allowing you to do the things that you love or want to do, etc. ▪ Emotionally guilting you when you do not give consent, or reacting negatively when you don’t want to participate in an activity. ○ Mental Abuse: The usage of tactics to make someone feel mentally unstable and doubt their own sanity, thoughts, and opinions. ▪ Deliberately moving objects, such as car keys or wallets, to make someone else feel crazy ▪ Constantly lying about situations that happened, making the victim not trust their own judgment and increasingly depend on their abuser for advice ○ Financial Abuse: The usage of emotional manipulation to exert control over another by limiting their financial independence and disabling their economic self-sufficiency. ▪ Controlling all the budgets in the household ▪ Not allowing the victim to have any money, make purchases, or attain a job/source of income ▪ No access to personal bank accounts ○ Cultural/ Identity Abuse: The usage of inappropriate or insulting attitudes to control another’s cultural or personal identity ▪ Not allowing someone to follow personal dietary restrictions or diets ▪ Not allowing someone to showcase their cultural identity through dress or other media ▪ Using racial slurs and derogatory stereotypes against another ▪ Weaponizing another’s sexual identity or orientation against them (threatening to “out” someone else or pressurizing someone to out themselves) Healthy Relationships A relationship where two people are connected and support each other with affection, respect, and understanding, and are mutually benefited from the partnership, yet remain their independence. ● There are several important aspects of healthy relationships, which include COMMUNICATION and BOUNDARIES. Communication: There is a mutual understanding between the two people in the relationship. Partners: ● Treat each other with respect and care ● Speak openly and honestly to each other about their feelings without fear of being misjudged ● Listen to each other intently ● Compromise on problem situations ● Celebrate each other's success and accomplishments without jealousy Boundaries: Both partners are very clear on what is and isn’t comfortable, especially with sex, privacy, finances, personal space, and familial issues. Partners: ● Allow for personal space and time with family, friends, or alone ● Understand that everything doesn’t have to be done together ● Trust their partner to uphold the relationship and not constantly accuse them of cheating ● Not monitor each other with technology or other software ● Do not need to have shared passwords, emails, social media accounts, or cellular devices ● Have limited control over each other and respect each other’s individual tastes and interests ● Do not pressure each other to participate in hurtful, unwanted, or uncomfortable activities An important part of maintaining BOUNDARIES with your partner is also securing CONSENT: CONSENT is: ● Both partners openly express and agree on what they want in the relationship ● Respecting that any form of “NO”, whether it be verbal or non-verbal or the slightest indication of discomfort, means “NO”. ● Paying full attention to all and anybody signals/verbal signals of discomfort before, during, or after the activity. ● Understanding that “MAYBE” is not a “YES”. “I DON’T KNOW” is not a “YES”. Silence is not a “YES”. If the other person wants to participate in the activity, they will give you an enthusiastic and extremely clear “YES”. CONSENT IS NOT: ● Conforming to “gender norms” that a guy wants to “move too fast” while girls want to “move too slow”. A person’s level of comfort and their interest in initiating an activity depends on their personality and character, not their gender. ● Assuming consent and pushing indecisiveness or discomfort into a “YES” to get what you want. ● A given -- both partners should continue to look for consent from the other. Just because the partner said “YES” before does not mean it is a given that they will continue to say “YES” for further actions. ● A free pass for everything -- there needs to be full confirmation between both partners before any further activity is initiated. If your partner consents to holding hands, but not kissing, that request needs to be respected. ● Awkward to get. It may seem as though it is, but it is far more important to make sure both partners are completely comfortable with the activity. Get consent beforehand or in an appropriate time whether both of you are comfortable speaking about it. ● Assuming that sexy or revealing clothing, flirting, nice demeanor, a conversation, accepting a ride, drink, or anything else, nonverbal gestures like smiles or eye contact, are anything more than they are. No one is ever “asking” for it. ● Agreeing/saying “YES” under the influence of drugs or alcohol. Drugs and alcohol impair a person’s proper brain function and awareness of the situation around them, so even if the other person seems willing to participate in an activity, keep in mind that they are under the influence of brain-altering chemicals. They are NOT actively giving consent because they are not fully consciously aware of the action. ● Agreeing because you feel pressure to participate in an activity, or feel that you can’t let them down or say “NO” because you “owe” them as part of a relationship. You have complete control over your actions and you should only do something because you KNOW you WANT to. ● Pressuring or guilting you emotionally, physically, socially, sexually, or verbally to participate in something you are unsure of. Violating consent can result in major criminal offenses such as SEXUAL ASSAULT and RAPE. Understanding Peer Pressure Peer Pressure The external influence of other individuals on another individual ● Peer pressure usually begins from an elementary school-age when children start formulating relationships ● Concepts of larger friend groups and group dynamics become prominent, and children start to develop a need for feelings of loyalty, appreciation, and inclusivity to not be excluded in certain groups Direct Peer Pressure ● Verbal or physical requests or encouragement to participate in an activity ● Between two individuals in a one-on-one environment (ex: sexual advances), a few individuals (ex: go to a music festival), or in an entire group, where the pressure is more intense (ex: drink with everyone at a party). ● The individual is pressured to make an immediate, on-the-spot decision ● Direct peer pressure is easier to resist as you have some control over the situation. Some have the maturity and capability to say “NO” to others when offered drugs/alcohol/other substances. (Ex: Your friend offers you a cigarette, but you resist it and walk away.) Indirect Peer Pressure ● Indirect influence or manipulation where a person is exposed to the actions of another person or a larger group and has to choose whether or not to follow along ● “Bandwagoning” or “following the herd”, can be choices in fashion, activities such as partying or taking drugs/alcohol, extracurricular interests, etc. ● The individual makes gradual decisions as he/she/they are more and more convinced. ● According to a 2012 study, indirect peer pressure (all of a person’s friends smoking) had a greater effect on teens’ interest in smoking than direct peer pressure (someone convincing you to smoke). Indirect peer pressure is harder to resist as it is out of your control. It involves a gradual development of interest in a specific activity and you willingly choose to conform, rather than being forced. (Ex: From the beginning of high school, you’ve seen others smoke regularly, so when you become a high school senior, you start smoking as well. Not because anyone convinced you, but the indirect influences accumulating over time manipulated your decisions.) Peer pressure can be both positive and negative, but it is more often associated with a negative connotation: Positive Peer Pressure ● Influence another person to participate in a recreational or academic activity, such as walking to the park or competing in a competition ● Forms of encouragement and support to help you improve as a person ● Encouraging exposure to healthy, positive new experiences, and ideas beyond your comfort zone ● Can be as a result of positive experiences from your friends, teachers, and/or parents Negative Peer Pressure ● Teens are most susceptible to peer pressure as they are often discovering their identities among their friends at this time ● Manipulates you to believe that if you don’t participate in an activity, you won’t be accepted or thought of as “cool” ● Most often used when coercing another to participate in dangerous or illegal activity, such as drinking alcohol or taking drugs ● Pushes teens to take unwarranted and dangerous risks to impress others that can lead to fatal conditions, such as drug overdose, sexually-transmitted diseases, drunk driving accidents, etc. ● Can be as a result of experiences from both your friends and your parents, as if teens are negatively influenced by an unhealthy home environment, that could encourage them to emulate their parents’ behavior ● Can promote excessive encouragement in one aspect or another to “fit in”, leading to an addiction, such as alcohol, sex, exercise, or gaming addiction ● These addictions can start from a young age and persist for an entire lifetime as they can be incredibly hard to quit once started ● Negative peer pressure can include: ○ Needing to look, dress, or act a certain way to impress others ○ Shoplifting or stealing or any crime ○ Participating in sexual activity ○ Bullying, cyberbullying, taunting, or spreading gossip or rumors about others ○ Acting different on social media and the internet than in real life ○ Purposefully excluding individuals that the group doesn’t regard “fit” ○ Letting people exploit and take advantage of you, such as cheating off you, copying your homework, or making you do work for them How to Combat Peer Pressure ● Say “NO” with full authority and force. ○ If you hesitate and seem unsure, someone who is trying to convince you will think that you’re on the edge and that they still have the power to influence you. If you are firm in your answer, they will clearly get the message and refrain from further pressure. ● Trust your instincts. If you are unsure of a situation, then it is probably best to not engage in it. Make sure you follow what’s comfortable for you and not for others, as people’s level of comfort varies between individuals. ○ Your friends might think shoplifting is fun and dangerous, but if you feel unsure about it, then don’t do it. ● Plan accordingly to the situation ahead and make sure you know what to say or do. ○ If you’re going to a party that you know will serve alcohol, and you are not comfortable with drinking, then if anyone offers you a drink at the party, make sure you prepare with “NO” or another excuse beforehand. ● Avoid risky situations altogether. ○ If there’s a party that’s serving drugs and alcohol, and you don’t want to run the risk of being pressured at all, then choose to go somewhere else where you are more comfortable. ● Talk to your friends/parents/other individuals and let them know how you are feeling. ○ If your friends are pressuring you to drink, firmly let them know that it makes you uncomfortable when they ask you to join them. If your friends care about you, then they will understand. ● Cut off toxic and unhealthy friendships and find friends with similar values and interests. ○ If your friends don’t respect and understand the fact that you don’t want to participate in a certain activity, constantly overstep your boundaries despite your resistance, or manipulate you to feel bad or get angry for not participating, then they are not really your friends. Friends are there to serve as a form of positive reinforcement, as well as a source of relaxation and entertainment, so they should be looking out for your best interest. ● Ask questions about why someone engages in a particular activity, and why they want you to participate. ○ If your friend has a partying addiction and wants you to participate, ask him why and how it started, how long it’s lasted, if he feels it actually benefits him, and why he continues to do it. Most of the time, your friends were influenced by negative influences too that pushed them to develop an addiction. Allowing them to reflect on their decisions can divert away from pressuring you. ● Have a buddy with you. ○ If you’re going somewhere you feel uncomfortable, bring a friend who shares the same values as you and you know will back you up if you get too pressured. ● Evaluate your decisions and don’t convince yourself that it’s okay if it really isn’t. ○ If you are tempted to engage in sexual activity, evaluate the consequences and risk of doing so. Are you sure that it’s completely the right person, are you willing to risk getting pregnant or getting someone pregnant, acquiring or giving an STD, and/or other complications that may arise? ○ Don’t convince yourself that because everyone is doing something, it must be fine. Just because everyone YOU know is doing something, doesn’t mean everyone is doing it. And even if everyone is doing it, it doesn’t mean that you have to do it too.