How to Create and Sustain Connections with Meaning and Purpose

Relationships that Matter: How to create and sustain connections with meaning and purpose 1 The Entrepreneurial Protégé: Why all leaders- including you- need a network of mentors and how to create your own Prospectus OVERVIEW Why do I need a mentor? And if I need one, then how do I become a protégé? When do I stop needing a mentor and start mentoring others? Interest in mentoring has exploded in the past 30 years and we all have our own ideas about what makes a good mentor. But what makes a good protégé? After decades of research, we know that both of these skills- being a good protégé and being a good mentor- are critical for professional learning and success. And historically, being a protégé in a strong mentoring relationship was enough to catapult you to success. But the world of work has changed and with it the model of mentoring has changed too. Academics have talked about this significant change in work and in the nature of mentoring for years now, yet no one has translated that knowledge from research to practice--- to reach a wider audience and to help you. Our goal is to help you become an entrepreneurial protégé. An entrepreneurial protégé determines his or her learning goals and seeks mentors that will help propel them to accomplish what is personally and professionally meaningful. By reading this book, you will be able to accurately assess who you need to ask for help and take action to build your personal board of directors. Every CEO has a formal Board of Directors, but when you ask CEOs who helps them manage their career (and life), they will list a variety of people, including former bosses, colleagues, spouses, friends, and even people who work for them. Studies show that even leaders at the top of their industry enlist several mentors at critical moments in their careers to help them succeed. The point is that you need multiple mentors, your own personal board of directors, to help navigate the uncertain and ever-changing workplace. And to create one, you need to become an entrepreneurial protégé. 2 We start by exploring where you find mentors and why you need a network according to the research (See Figure 1). Figure 1: Where to find mentors Formal Mentor/Mentee Leader(s) Peer(s) YOU Professional Associates Subordinate(s) Family & Friends We explain why mentoring works, particularly what benefits these developmental relationships bring to both protégés and mentors. Then we discuss how you can become an entrepreneurial protégé to create your personal board of directors. The map of where to find mentors, shapes the chapters on who to enlist for help, how to approach them and why. This new entrepreneurial protégé approach urges you to identify potential mentors (inside and outside your workplace) and to proactively develop mutually beneficial relationships. In cultivating a network of mentors, leaders at all levels will acquire knowledge and skills to accomplish their goals. Dr. Wendy Murphy and Dr. Kathy Kram are experts on mentoring in the workplace. Their work has focused on improving mentoring relationships and encouraging professionals to invest in their developmental networks. In this book, we describe our own research and practice as well as draw on the fields of mentoring, leadership, and careers to discuss strategies and techniques that may be applied by all professionals. 3 ANTICIPATED AUDIENCE The primary target audience for this book includes individuals at every career stage who want to learn how to leverage mentoring networks in their own learning and development. Regardless of sector and industry, all professionals are facing steep learning curves and a rapid pace of change. Many already know that mentors and coaches can make a big difference, but don’t necessarily know how they can proactively build such positive connections. We intend to provide practical guidance on these matters. The book will also be of interest to Human Resource practitioners and consultants who facilitate education and training related to mentoring and leadership development, and to those who more generally facilitate the talent development process in organizations. Finally, senior leaders of organizations will find a good resource for fostering a mentoring culture and being a role model of effective mentoring for others. STRUCTURE OF THE CHAPTERS The first section will explain how and why mentoring (or developmental) networks are necessary for success in today’s competitive environment and focuses on “You” at the center of your own network (Refer to Figure 1). In the second section, each of the categories of workplace developers is explored, including formal mentors, leaders, peers, and subordinates. The third section addresses the importance of developers outside of the workplace, potential challenges in developmental relationships, and emerging trends. Each chapter will contribute a piece of the developmental network puzzle, individual and organizational examples or stories, strategies for enlisting each type of developer, and self-assessment tools/reflections. The chapters will conclude with a list of suggested further readings. References will be superscripted with a complete list by chapter at the end of the book. 4 TABLE OF CONTENTS Chapter 1: INTRODUCTION Why do you need mentors? Decades of research has shown that mentoring relationships are one of the most valuable resources for career and leadership development. Indeed, protégés have higher salaries, are promoted faster, and are more satisfied with their careers. Traditionally, the mentor–protégé relationship has consisted of a junior person-- the protégé— and a senior, more experienced colleague-- the mentor-- within the same organization. Many employers understand that mentoring is important and have implemented formal mentoring programs. But do you need a formal mentor? The answer is, no, not necessarily- although mentoring programs are one avenue to begin to get the mentoring you need in your career. Informal mentoring is often more effective than formal mentoring for many reasons that we will discuss. Even more importantly, protégés with a network of mentors (or developers) are more successful. And these relationships are mutually beneficial-- mentoring is good for both the protégé and the mentor. We begin this book explaining why one mentor is not enough in today’s turbulent and challenging work environment. To ensure success, all of us- from new hire to CEO- should create and maintain a network of mentors, known in academic circles as a developmental network. We share stories and invite you to reflect on your own experiences, assess your needs, and cultivate a mentoring (developmental) network that will enable you to thrive. SECTION ONE: CREATING CONNECTIONS WITH MEANING AND PURPOSE Chapter 2: Why Relationships Matter When you tell people they need a mentor to succeed, most agree and are immediately overwhelmed. How do I get someone to be my mentor? The problem is not with getting help in your career, the problem is that the word mentor itself has become a “charged” word in our society. It all started with Greek mythology. In Homer’s Odyssey, the original Mentor was the goddess Athena in disguise. Odysseus, king of Ithaca, had to travel to fight the Trojan War. While at war, he entrusted Mentor to teach and oversee his son, Telemachus. Over time, the word mentor has come to mean someone who imparts wisdom and knowledge to their protégé. But could anyone really live up to the standards of a Greek goddess as a mentor? Business and academic interest in mentoring as a developmental tool soared during the 1980s and 1990s. Today we know that mentoring has the potential to facilitate leadership development, career advancement, satisfaction at work, individual performance and organizational 5 performance. However the global economy presents unprecedented challenges that require individuals and organizations to regularly learn and develop new approaches to solving the novel challenges in every workplace. Mentoring is not only a good thing to have (and to do), but now essential to being effective and adaptive in the current environment. The modern workplace is so complex that it is unlikely one mentor can fulfill all of your career support needs. Instead, each of us needs a “developmental network”---a set of relationships that each individual builds to access the range of mentoring functions they need in order to be successful as they move forward on their leadership journeys. We call the people in your developmental network developers. Some developers may be traditional mentors, while others may provide only certain types of support. Amongst all of your developers, one may be in your current workplace and others may be family members or members of your community. We will explain why your developers should come from both work and non-work contexts, as Figure 1 illustrates. Chapter 3: How Relationships Support Your Development In Kathy’s first book, she found that mentors provide two main forms of support: career functions (aspect of the relationship that support career advancement) and psychosocial functions (aspects of the relationship that develop competence, clarity of professional identity, and selfworth). Much of what we know about mentoring relationships is based on this knowledge. We call these “true mentors,” those relationships that provide the full range of developmental support. However careers are less predictable today and it is unlikely that one person could provide you with all of the support you need. By creating a network of developers who provide some of the career and psychosocial support you seek, you will be able to get the support you need at different career stages as you navigate new challenges. We review how mentoring relationships look different at each stage of your career: for example, newcomers will find mentoring very helpful in getting established in an organization and/or career, whereas midcareer individuals will find mentoring very helpful in navigating through voluntary or involuntary career transitions. We will summarize what you can do to attract mentoring relationships and how those relationships may positively enhance your career. In addition, we will discuss how the context in which relationships evolve can shape what they look like and how they unfold. Chapter 4: An Entrepreneurial Approach to Creating Connections Our premise is that every individual must proactively seek out the mentoring that he or she needs at any point in time. An entrepreneurial protégé determines his or her personal goals and the 6 relationships that will propel them toward accomplishing what is personally and professionally meaningful. This vision of an ideal “developmental network” is created by you only after a thorough assessment of your strengths and limitations, as well as your personal values and goals. We will provide tools for self-assessment, and help you identify where to find potential developers. We will then discuss the attitudes and behaviors that have been shown to be most effective in building developmental relationships. You will be invited to evaluate your current developmental network as well as to create your ideal, and to develop an action plan based on this analysis. SECTION TWO: LEARNING FROM RELATIONSHIPS AT WORK Chapter 5: Formal Mentoring Programs as one avenue for professional development Over 70 percent of Fortune 500 companies have implemented formal mentoring programs to make mentoring available to targeted employees. In this chapter we review the objectives, structure and processes that characterize these programs, and the conditions which enable them to thrive and/or undermine their effectiveness. Major differences in process and outcomes of formal and informal mentoring relationships will be highlighted. Should you participate in a formal mentoring program? Our stance is that formal programs offer opportunities to learn about mentoring, to experience an organizationally arranged mentoring relationship, and to develop the self-awareness and social skills to build other developmental relationships that comprise a robust developmental network. If you are an employer thinking about sponsoring a formal program, we outline strategies for linking such an initiative with other leadership development, career planning and succession planning systems and programs. In addition, we highlight practices and tactics that create unrealistic expectations, disillusionment, dysfunctional relationships, and an array of negative outcomes for both individuals and organizations. Chapter 6: Leaders as Mentors, Role Models, and Creators of Culture Leaders have the potential to significantly influence the quality and availability of mentoring in their organizations. At any level of an organization, a leader (whether first line supervisor or senior executive) can serve as a role model by actively mentoring junior colleagues and peers. In doing so leaders help to create a learning culture in which members are encouraged to learn in their relationships with others. Leaders in a position to influence HR strategy and practices can make sure that performance management systems include recognition and rewards for mentoring others, and also lend 7 resources and supports to initiatives such as formal mentoring programs, education related to mentoring and coaching, and new initiatives designed to leverage peer relationships for learning. Specific illustrations of how leaders foster mentoring cultures as well as relevant diagnostic questions will be provided. Chapter 7: Friend-tors: Getting the most from Relationships with Peers Relationships with peers are an underutilized resource for learning and development at every career stage. There is a growing recognition that the trends of rapidly changing technology, globalization, and team-based organizations (in contrast to traditional hierarchical organizations) make peer learning a vital alternative and complement to traditional mentoring. Consistent with the Developmental Network Model introduced in chapter 1, we illustrate how peer relationships—both dyad and group---can enhance job-related learning, personal learning, and career advancement. We distinguish between peer mentoring and peer coaching, and how each of these relationship types can contribute to both partners. In addition, we feature several dyad and group level initiatives that have been implemented in organizations to foster active learning between peers at challenging moments. Risk factors inherent in peer coaching will also be highlighted, along with the strategies for minimizing them. -add step-ahead mentors in this chapter Chapter 8: My employee, my teacher-- unleashing the potential of Reverse Mentoring The most recent form of mentoring to surface in both research and practice is “reverse” mentoring. This is when the more junior (and/or younger) partner in the relationship is the mentor, and the relationship is initiated to support the more senior (and/or older) protégé’s learning goals. Mutuality and reciprocity are particularly important for reverse mentoring relationships because both individuals learn and teach (on different matters). So, for example, while a new employee may bring knowledge of technology that a manager may need to learn, the more senior, experienced employee has wisdom and experience in the organization and industry to share. The potential for both parties to learn in the relationship is great, both in terms of new knowledge and skills, as well as greater empathy across generations. When should organizations consider a reverse mentoring program? Millennial and Gen X employees often have more technological knowledge than their bosses and other senior executives. Thus, they can serve as mentors on these strategic imperatives. Organizations can also benefit from reverse mentoring in creating greater understanding, information exchange, and collaboration across inherent generational divides. Reverse mentoring can lead to a range of outcomes including learning, better individual performance, better organizational performance, 8 reduced turnover and increased organizational outcomes. Guidelines for identifying and implementing opportunities for reverse mentoring will be highlighted. SECTION THREE: CHANGING THE MODEL OF MENTORING FOR YOU AND YOUR ORGANIZATION Chapter 9: Why Connections Outside of Work Matter With the rise of boundaryless careers, people are more likely to experience frequent job changes and movement across organizations. The boundaries between work and life have also become blurry as we are constantly connected through technology. These trends are compounded by the rapid pace of change and economic uncertainty. In this environment, mentors (developers) outside of work have become a key source of stability and continuity. If you are thinking about changing jobs or have a difficult situation at work, it makes sense that you may want to talk to someone outside your organization. Mentors from previous employers, professional organizations, alumni networks, and family or friends provide critical information, support, and resources. These relationships act as a buffer for stress and help decrease workfamily conflict enabling you to perform better and to feel more satisfied in both your work and non-work roles. Leaders at all levels need outside support to help process what goes on within their organization and to provide an external perspective on their leadership growth and development. We discuss how all of us should seek to enlist a variety of developers outside of work and suggest strategies for creating a developmental network that fits your career and life goals. Chapter 10: 21st Century Challenges for Relationships and how to work through them Diversity. When you initiate mentoring relationships with people who are different from you (e.g., cross-cultural, cross-gender, cross-race, relationships), you may face challenges in recognizing cultural differences, overcoming stereotypes, developing trust, and managing the perceptions of others. Research has uncovered several strategies for improving mentoring among diverse parties. For example, mentors with women protégés will want to pay particular attention to their role as sponsors, who advocate for their protégé. We know that over time differences may actually increase the potential learning and growth between mentors and protégés. We will discuss the most challenging diversity issues and how to foster effective relationships across gender, racial and ethnic boundaries so that individuals of diverse backgrounds can thrive, and organizations can develop highly productive and diverse workforces. 9 Technology. The use of technology for relationship development and maintenance poses unique challenges. While electronic communication is convenient and efficient, it is a limited form of expression which may be particularly difficult in the early stages of relationships. Research has shown that the addition of one phone call or face-to-face interaction improves the support that protégés receive and the satisfaction that mentors feel. Social networks, including Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn among others, must be an explicit part of the conversation in any mentoring relationship. These technologies provide an opportunity to connect however they often bridge the personal and professional roles for individuals (particularly Facebook) and thus need to be managed thoughtfully. Persistent Change. In all sectors, persistent change is a fact of life. Therefore, employees at all career stages and hierarchical levels are novices in one or more arenas at any point in time. This means that learning is more critical than ever before. In order to meet the daily demands of changing circumstances, you must be an active learner, and build developmental alliances with peers, seniors, and subordinates both inside and outside the immediate workplace. Chapter 11: Tor-mentors: When mentoring goes awry, why and what to do about it Like any relationship, mentoring relationships may become dysfunctional for benign reasons or for more alarming reasons. For example, there may be conflicting goals or value differences that make having a healthy connection difficult. When the relationship becomes more trouble than it is worth or worse when there is deceit or harassment-- and either party may be the cause-salvaging your career may be the most important goal. When this happens in formal mentoring programs or in developmental networks in which the dysfunctional relationship is connected to other important people in your network, it may be particularly difficult for the protégé or mentor to disengage and end the relationship. The most common issue is indirect in that people simply do not have time to meet. They get busy with their work and personal lives and do not make the relationship a priority. We will prepare you for ways in which mentoring may go awry and alert you to patterns of behavior that may be troublesome. In addition, we offer positive conflict-management strategies for minimizing dysfunction and even changing the direction of a dysfunctional mentoring relationship towards a more effective and energizing one. Chapter 12: Why all organizations should encourage developmental networks Organizations are beginning to use a network approach to mentoring, encouraging people at all levels to seek out the support they need from each other. This is truly a developmental network approach to mentoring in practice. For example, Intel has a program that matches employees 10 with mentors based on the topics and skills they want to learn about regardless of hierarchical position or geographical location. More broadly, organizations can mentor each other, particularly small entrepreneurially ventures poised for growth. This happens in Silicon Valley where start-up incubators foster connections between high potential start-ups and expert venture capitalists. Oftentimes, these incubators host several organizations in the same building where they may interact and share information or resources, such as how to access capital, manage talent, or develop sales and marketing. Silicon Valley exemplifies an ecosystem with a culture of mentoring, where the norm is for experienced professionals to help newcomers with interesting ideas without the expectation of reciprocity. We know that these new forms of mentoring are fostering the growth of organizational leaders who actively learn from one another and discover the skills and resources that will enable their firms to thrive. Chapter 13: CONCLUSION What are the most important take-aways from this book for the entrepreneurial protégé? In this chapter, we summarize the core elements of the new mentoring mindset, and outline the steps of self-assessment, goal setting, relationship building, and mutual learning that are essential to effective self-leadership. You will be reminded of the importance of taking a proactive approach to maximize opportunities for building relationships that facilitate your continuous learning and development. We will also summarize what leaders, Human Resource and Leadership Development practitioners, and organizations can do to create and sustain a strong mentoring culture that encourages every employee to be an entrepreneurial protégé. 11