A Midsummer Night's Dream No Fear Shakespeare Part 1

Original Text Modern Text Act 1, Scene 1 Enter THESEUS, HIPPOLYTA, and PHILOSTRATE, with others THESEUS and HIPPOLYTA enter withPHILOSTRATE and others. THESEUS Now, fair Hippolyta, our nuptial hour Draws on apace. Four happy days bring in Another moon. But oh, methinks how slow This old moon wanes! She lingers my desires, 5 Like to a stepdame or a dowager Long withering out a young man’s revenue. THESEUS Our wedding day is almost here, my beautiful Hippolyta. We’ll be getting married in four days, on the day of the new moon. But it seems to me that the days are passing too slowly—the old moon is taking too long to fade away! That old, slow moon is keeping me from getting what I want, just like an old widow makes her stepson wait to get his inheritance. HIPPOLYTA Four days will quickly steep themselves in night. Four nights will quickly dream away the time. And then the moon, like to a silver bow 10 New bent in heaven, shall behold the night Of our solemnities. HIPPOLYTA No, you’ll see, four days will quickly turn into four nights. And since we dream at night, time passes quickly then. Finally the new moon, curved like a silver bow in the sky, will look down on our wedding celebration. THESEUS Go, Philostrate, Stir up the Athenian youth to merriments. Awake the pert and nimble spirit of mirth. Turn melancholy forth to funerals. 15 The pale companion is not for our pomp. THESEUS Go, Philostrate, get the young people of Athens ready to celebrate and have a good time. Sadness is only appropriate for funerals. We don’t want it at our festivities. Exit PHILOSTRATE Hippolyta, I wooed thee with my sword And won thy love doing thee injuries. But I will wed thee in another key, With pomp, with triumph, and with reveling. Enter EGEUS and his daughter HERMIA, andLYSANDER and DEMETRIUS EGEUS 20 Happy be Theseus, our renownèd duke. PHILOSTRATE exits. Hippolyta, I wooed you with violence, using my sword, and got you to fall in love with me by injuring you. But I’ll marry you under different circumstances—with extravagant festivals, public festivities, and celebration. EGEUS enters with his daughter HERMIA, andLYSANDER and DEMETRIUS. EGEUS Long live Theseus, our famous and respected duke! Act 1, Scene 1, Page 2 THESEUS Thanks, good Egeus. What’s the news with thee? EGEUS Full of vexation come I with complaint Against my child, my daughter Hermia.— Stand forth, Demetrius.—My noble lord, 25 This man hath my consent to marry her.— Stand forth, Lysander.—And my gracious duke, This man hath bewitched the bosom of my child.— Thou, thou, Lysander, thou hast given her rhymes, And interchanged love tokens with my child. 30 Thou hast by moonlight at her window sung With feigning voice verses of feigning love, And stol'n the impression of her fantasy With bracelets of thy hair, rings, gauds, conceits, THESEUS Thanks, good Egeus. What’s new with you? EGEUS I’m here, full of anger, to complain about my daughter Hermia.—Step forward, Demetrius.— My lord, this man, Demetrius, has my permission to marry her.—Step forward, Lysander.—But this other man, Lysander, has cast a magic spell over my child’s heart.—You, you, Lysander, you’ve given her poems, and exchanged tokens of love with my daughter. You’ve pretended to be in love with her, singing fake love songs softly at her window by moonlight, and you’ve captured her imagination by giving her locks of your hair, rings, toys, trinkets, knickknacks, little presents, flowers, Original Text Modern Text Knacks, trifles, nosegays, sweetmeats—messengers 35 Of strong prevailment in unhardened youth. With cunning hast thou filched my daughter’s heart, Turned her obedience (which is due to me) To stubborn harshness.—And, my gracious duke, Be it so she will not here before your grace 40 Consent to marry with Demetrius, I beg the ancient privilege of Athens. As she is mine, I may dispose of her— Which shall be either to this gentleman Or to her death—according to our law 45 Immediately provided in that case. and candies—things that can really influence an impressionable young person. You’ve connived to steal my daughter’s heart, making her stubborn and harsh instead of obedient (like she should be).—And, my gracious duke, if she won’t agree to marry Demetrius right now, I ask you to let me exercise the right that all fathers have in Athens. Since she belongs to me, I can do what I want with her—as the law says: I can either make her marry Demetrius—or have her killed. THESEUS What say you, Hermia? Be advised, fair maid: To you your father should be as a god, One that composed your beauties, yea, and one To whom you are but as a form in wax, 50 By him imprinted and within his power To leave the figure or disfigure it. Demetrius is a worthy gentleman. THESEUS What do you have to say for yourself, Hermia? Think carefully, pretty girl. You should think of your father as a god, since he’s the one who gave you your beauty. To him, you’re like a figure that he’s sculpted out of wax, and he has the power to keep that figure intact or to disfigure it. Demetrius is an admirable man. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 3 HERMIA So is Lysander. THESEUS In himself he is. But in this kind, wanting your father’s voice, 55 The other must be held the worthier. HERMIA So is Lysander. THESEUS You’re right, Lysander’s admirable too. But since your father doesn’t want him to marry you, you have to consider Demetrius to be the better man. HERMIA I would my father looked but with my eyes. HERMIA I wish my father could see them with my eyes. THESEUS Rather your eyes must with his judgment look. THESEUS No, you must see them as your father sees them. HERMIA I do entreat your grace to pardon me. I know not by what power I am made bold 60 Nor how it may concern my modesty In such a presence here to plead my thoughts, But I beseech your grace that I may know The worst that may befall me in this case, If I refuse to wed Demetrius. HERMIA Your grace, please forgive me. I don’t know what makes me think I can say this, and I don’t know if speaking my mind to such a powerful and noble person as yourself will damage my reputation for modesty. But please, tell me the worst thing that could happen to me if I refuse to marry Demetrius. THESEUS 65 Either to die the death or to abjure Forever the society of men. Therefore, fair Hermia, question your desires. Know of your youth. Examine well your blood— Whether, if you yield not to your father’s choice, 70 You can endure the livery of a nun, For aye to be in shady cloister mewed, To live a barren sister all your life, Chanting faint hymns to the cold, fruitless moon. Thrice-blessèd they that master so their blood 75 To undergo such maiden pilgrimage. But earthlier happy is the rose distilled THESEUS You’ll either be executed or you’ll never see another man again. So think carefully about what you want, beautiful Hermia. Consider how young you are, and question your feelings. Then decide whether you could stand to be a nun, wearing a priestess’s habit and caged up in a cloister forever, living your entire life without a husband or children, weakly chanting hymns to the cold and virginal goddess of the moon. People who can restrain their passions and stay virgins forever are holy. But although a virgin priestess might be rewarded in heaven, a married woman is happier Original Text Than that which, withering on the virgin thorn, Grows, lives, and dies in single blessedness. Modern Text on Earth. A married woman is like a rose who is picked and made into a beautiful perfume, while a priestess just withers away on the stem. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 4 HERMIA So will I grow, so live, so die, my lord, 80 Ere I will my virgin patent up Unto his lordship, whose unwishèd yoke My soul consents not to give sovereignty. HERMIA I’d rather wither away than give up my virginity to someone I don’t love. THESEUS Take time to pause, and by the next new moon— The sealing day betwixt my love and me 85 For everlasting bond of fellowship— Upon that day either prepare to die For disobedience to your father’s will, Or else to wed Demetrius, as he would, Or on Diana’s altar to protest 90 For aye austerity and single life. THESEUS Take some time to think about this. By the time of the next new moon—the day when Hippolyta and I will be married—be ready either to be executed for disobeying your father, to marry Demetrius as your father wishes, or to take a vow to spend the rest of your life as a virgin priestess of the moon goddess. DEMETRIUS Relent, sweet Hermia—And, Lysander, yield Thy crazèd title to my certain right. DEMETRIUS Please give in, sweet Hermia.—And Lysander, stop acting like she’s yours. I’ve got more of a right to her than you do. LYSANDER You have her father’s love, Demetrius. Let me have Hermia’s. Do you marry him. LYSANDER Her father loves you, Demetrius. So why don’t you marry him and let me have Hermia? EGEUS 95 Scornful Lysander, true, he hath my love, And what is mine my love shall render him. And she is mine, and all my right of her I do estate unto Demetrius. EGEUS It’s true, rude Lysander, I do love him. That’s why I’m giving him my daughter. She’s mine, and I’m giving her to Demetrius. LYSANDER (to THESEUS) I am, my lord, as well derived as he, 100 As well possessed. My love is more than his. My fortunes every way as fairly ranked, (If not with vantage) as Demetrius'. And—which is more than all these boasts can be— I am beloved of beauteous Hermia. 105 Why should not I then prosecute my right? Demetrius, I’ll avouch it to his head, Made love to Nedar’s daughter, Helena, And won her soul. And she, sweet lady, dotes, Devoutly dotes, dotes in idolatry 110 Upon this spotted and inconstant man. LYSANDER (to THESEUS) My lord, I’m just as noble and rich as he is. I love Hermia more than he does. My prospects are as good as his, if not better. And beautiful Hermia loves me—which is more important than all those other things I’m bragging about. Why shouldn’t I be able to marry her? Demetrius—and I’ll say this to his face—courted Nedar’s daughter, Helena, and made her fall in love with him. That sweet lady, Helena, loves devoutly. She adores this horrible and unfaithful man. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 5 THESEUS I must confess that I have heard so much And with Demetrius thought to have spoke thereof, But being overfull of self-affairs, My mind did lose it.—But, Demetrius, come. 115 And come, Egeus. You shall go with me. THESEUS I have to admit I’ve heard something about that, and meant to ask Demetrius about it, but I was too busy with personal matters and it slipped my mind.—Anyway, Demetrius and Egeus, both of you, come with me. I want to say a few things to Original Text I have some private schooling for you both.— For you, fair Hermia, look you arm yourself To fit your fancies to your father’s will, Or else the law of Athens yields you up 120 (Which by no means we may extenuate) To death, or to a vow of single life.— Come, my Hippolyta. What cheer, my love?— Demetrius and Egeus, go along. I must employ you in some business 125 Against our nuptial and confer with you Of something nearly that concerns yourselves. EGEUS With duty and desire we follow you. Exeunt. Manent LYSANDER and HERMIA LYSANDER How now, my love? Why is your cheek so pale? How chance the roses there do fade so fast? Modern Text you in private.—As for you, beautiful Hermia, get ready to do what your father wants, because otherwise the law says that you must die or become a nun, and there’s nothing I can do about that.—Come with me, Hippolyta. How are you, my love?—Demetrius and Egeus, come with us. I want you to do some things for our wedding, and I also want to discuss something that concerns you both. EGEUS We’re following you not only because it is our duty, but also because we want to. They all exit except LYSANDER and HERMIA. LYSANDER What’s going on, my love? Why are you so pale? Why have your rosy cheeks faded so quickly? HERMIA 130 Belike for want of rain, which I could well Beteem them from the tempest of my eyes. HERMIA Probably because my cheeks' roses needed rain, which I could easily give them with all the tears in my eyes. LYSANDER Ay me! For aught that I could ever read, Could ever hear by tale or history, The course of true love never did run smooth. 135 But either it was different in blood— LYSANDER Oh, honey! Listen, in books they say that true love always faces obstacles. Either the lovers have different social standings— Act 1, Scene 1, Page 6 HERMIA O cross! Too high to be enthralled to low. HERMIA Oh, what an obstacle that would be! Imagine being too high on the social ladder, and falling in love with someone beneath you. LYSANDER Or else misgraffèd in respect of years— LYSANDER Or else they were very different ages— HERMIA O spite! Too old to be engaged to young. HERMIA How awful! Being too old to marry someone young. LYSANDER Or else it stood upon the choice of friends— LYSANDER Or else their guardians and advisors said no— HERMIA 140 O hell, to choose love by another’s eyes! HERMIA What hell, to have your love life determined by someone else! LYSANDER Or, if there were a sympathy in choice, War, death, or sickness did lay siege to it, Making it momentary as a sound, Swift as a shadow, short as any dream, 145 Brief as the lightning in the collied night; That, in a spleen, unfolds both heaven and Earth, And ere a man hath power to say “Behold!” The jaws of darkness do devour it up. LYSANDER Or, even if the lovers are a good match, their love might be ruined by war, death, or sickness, so that the affair only lasts an instant. Their time together might be as fleeting as a shadow or as short as a dream, lasting only as long as it takes a lightning bolt to flash across the sky. Before you can say “look,” it’s gone. That’s how intense things like love are quickly destroyed. Original Text Modern Text So quick bright things come to confusion. HERMIA 150 If then true lovers have been ever crossed, It stands as an edict in destiny. Then let us teach our trial patience, Because it is a customary cross, As due to love as thoughts and dreams and sighs, 155 Wishes and tears, poor fancy’s followers. HERMIA If true lovers are always thwarted, then it must be a rule of fate. So let’s try to be patient as we deal with our problem. It’s as normal a part of love as dreams, sighs, wishes, and tears. LYSANDER A good persuasion. Therefore, hear me, Hermia. I have a widow aunt, a dowager Of great revenue, and she hath no child. From Athens is her house remote seven leagues, 160 And she respects me as her only son. There, gentle Hermia, may I marry thee. And to that place the sharp Athenian law Cannot pursue us. If thou lovest me then, Steal forth thy father’s house tomorrow night. 165 And in the wood, a league without the town— LYSANDER That’s the right attitude. So, listen, Hermia. I have an aunt who is a widow, who’s very rich and doesn’t have any children. She lives about twenty miles from Athens, and she thinks of me as a son. I could marry you there, gentle Hermia, where the strict laws of Athens can’t touch us. So here’s the plan. If you love me, sneak out of your father’s house tomorrow night and meet me in the forest a few miles outside of town. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 7 Where I did meet thee once with Helena To do observance to a morn of May— There will I stay for thee. You remember the place—I met you there once with Helena to celebrate May Day.—I’ll wait for you there. HERMIA HERMIA Oh, Lysander, I swear I’ll be there tomorrow. I swear by Cupid’s strongest bow and his best gold-tipped arrow, by the Goddess of Love’s innocent doves, by everything that ties lovers together, by the bonfire where Queen Dido burned herself to death when her lover Aeneas jilted her, and by all the promises that men have broken (and men have broken more promises than women have ever made). I give you my word, I will meet you at that spot tomorrow. My good Lysander! I swear to thee by Cupid’s strongest bow, 170 By his best arrow with the golden head, By the simplicity of Venus' doves, By that which knitteth souls and prospers loves, And by that fire which burned the Carthage queen When the false Troyan under sail was seen, 175 By all the vows that ever men have broke (In number more than ever women spoke), In that same place thou hast appointed me, Tomorrow truly will I meet with thee. LYSANDER Keep promise, love. Look, here comes Helena. Enter HELENA LYSANDER Keep your promise, my love. Look, here comes Helena. HELENA enters. HERMIA 180 Godspeed, fair Helena! Whither away? HERMIA Hello, beautiful Helena! Where are you going? HELENA Call you me “fair”? That “fair” again unsay. Demetrius loves your fair. O happy fair! Your eyes are lodestars, and your tongue’s sweet air More tunable than lark to shepherd’s ear 185 When wheat is green, when hawthorn buds appear. Sickness is catching. Oh, were favor so, Yours would I catch, fair Hermia, ere I go. My ear should catch your voice. My eye, your eye. My tongue should catch your tongue’s sweet 190 melody. HELENA Did you just call me “beautiful”? Take it back. You’re the beautiful one as far as Demetrius is concerned. Oh, you’re so lucky! Your eyes are like stars, and your voice is more musical than a lark’s song is to a shepherd in the springtime. Sickness is contagious—I wish beauty were contagious too! I would catch your good looks before I left. My ear would be infected by your voice, my eye by your eye, and my tongue would come down with a bad case of your melodious Original Text Modern Text Were the world mine, Demetrius being bated, The rest I’d give to be to you translated. speech. If the world were mine, I’d give it all up— everything except Demetrius—to be you. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 8 O, teach me how you look and with what art You sway the motion of Demetrius' heart. Oh, teach me how you look the way you do, and which tricks you used to make Demetrius fall in love with you. HERMIA I frown upon him, yet he loves me still. HERMIA I frown at him, but he still loves me. HELENA 195 Oh, that your frowns would teach my smiles such skill! HELENA Oh, if only my smiles could inspire love as effectively as your frowns! HERMIA I give him curses, yet he gives me love. HERMIA I curse him, but he loves me. HELENA Oh, that my prayers could such affection move! HELENA If only my prayers could inspire that kind of affection! HERMIA The more I hate, the more he follows me. HERMIA The more I hate him, the more he follows me around. HELENA The more I love, the more he hateth me. HELENA The more I love him, the more he hates me. HERMIA 200 His folly, Helena, is no fault of mine. HELENA None, but your beauty. Would that fault were mine! HERMIA It’s not my fault he acts like that, Helena. HELENA That’s true, it’s your beauty’s fault. I wish I had a fault like that! HERMIA Take comfort. He no more shall see my face. Lysander and myself will fly this place. Before the time I did Lysander see 205 Seemed Athens as a paradise to me. Oh, then, what graces in my love do dwell, That he hath turned a heaven unto a hell! HERMIA Don’t worry. He won’t see my face ever again. Lysander and I are running away from here. Before I saw Lysander, Athens seemed like paradise to me. But Lysander’s so attractive that he’s turned heaven into hell! LYSANDER Helen, to you our minds we will unfold. Tomorrow night when Phoebe doth behold 210 Her silver visage in the watery glass, Decking with liquid pearl the bladed grass (A time that lovers' flights doth still conceal), Through Athens' gates have we devised to steal. LYSANDER Helena, we’ll tell you about our secret plan. Tomorrow night, when the moon shines on the water and decorates the grass with tiny beads of pearly light (the time of night that always hides runaway lovers), we plan to sneak out of Athens. HERMIA (to HELENA) And in the wood where often you and I 215 Upon faint primrose beds were wont to lie, Emptying our bosoms of their counsel sweet, HERMIA (to HELENA) In the woods where you and I used to lounge around on the pale primroses, telling each other sweet secrets—that’s where Lysander and I will meet. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 9 There my Lysander and myself shall meet. And thence from Athens turn away our eyes From then on we’ll turn our backs on Athens. We’ll look for new friends and keep the company Original Text Modern Text To seek new friends and stranger companies. 220 Farewell, sweet playfellow. Pray thou for us. And good luck grant thee thy Demetrius!— Keep word, Lysander. We must starve our sight From lovers' food till morrow deep midnight. of strangers. Goodbye, old friend. Pray for us, and I hope you win over Demetrius!—Keep your promise, Lysander. We need to stay away from each other until midnight tomorrow. LYSANDER I will, my Hermia. LYSANDER I will, my Hermia. Exit HERMIA Helena, adieu. 225 As you on him, Demetrius dote on you! HERMIA exits. Goodbye, Helena. I hope Demetrius comes to love you as much as you love him! Exit LYSANDER HELENA How happy some o'er other some can be! Through Athens I am thought as fair as she. But what of that? Demetrius thinks not so. He will not know what all but he do know. 230 And as he errs, doting on Hermia’s eyes, So I, admiring of his qualities. Things base and vile, holding no quantity, Love can transpose to form and dignity. Love looks not with the eyes but with the mind. 235 And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind. Nor hath Love’s mind of any judgment taste— Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste. And therefore is Love said to be a child, Because in choice he is so oft beguiled. 240 As waggish boys in game themselves forswear, So the boy Love is perjured everywhere. For ere Demetrius looked on Hermia’s eyne, He hailed down oaths that he was only mine. LYSANDER exits. HELENA It’s amazing how much happier some people are than others! People throughout Athens think I’m as beautiful as Hermia. But so what? Demetrius doesn’t think so, and that’s all that matters. He refuses to admit what everyone else knows. But even though he’s making a mistake by obsessing over Hermia so much, I’m also making a mistake, since I obsess over him. Love can make worthless things beautiful. When we’re in love, we don’t see with our eyes but with our minds. That’s why paintings of Cupid, the god of love, always show him as blind. And love doesn’t have good judgment either—Cupid, has wings and no eyes, so he’s bound to be reckless and hasty. That’s why they say love is a child. because it makes such bad choices. Just as boys like to play games by telling lies, Cupid breaks his promises all the time. Before Demetrius ever saw Hermia, he showered me with promises and swore he’d be mine forever. Act 1, Scene 1, Page 10 And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt, 245 So he dissolved, and showers of oaths did melt. I will go tell him of fair Hermia’s flight. Then to the wood will he tomorrow night Pursue her. And for this intelligence If I have thanks, it is a dear expense. 250 But herein mean I to enrich my pain, To have his sight thither and back again. But when he got all hot and bothered over Hermia, his promises melted away. I’ll go tell Demetrius that Hermia is running away tomorrow night. He’ll run after her. If he’s grateful to me for this information, it’ll be worth my pain in helping him pursue my rival Hermia. At least I’ll get to see him when he goes, and then again when he comes back. Exit HERMIA exits. Act 1, Scene 2 Enter QUINCE the carpenter, and SNUG the joiner, and BOTTOM the weaver, and FLUTE the bellowsmender, and SNOUT the tinker, and STARVELINGthe tailor QUINCE Is all our company here? QUINCE, the carpenter, enters with SNUG, the cabinetmaker; BOTTOM, the weaver; FLUTE, the bellows-repairman; SNOUT, the handyman; andSTARVELING, the tailor. QUINCE Is everyone here? Original Text Modern Text BOTTOM You were best to call them generally, man by man, according to the scrip. BOTTOM You should call their names generally, one person at a time, in the order in which their names appear on this piece of paper. QUINCE Here is the scroll of every man’s name which is thought fit, through all Athens, to play in our interlude before the duke and the duchess, on his wedding day at night. QUINCE This is a list of the names of all the men in Athens who are good enough to act in the play we’re going to perform for the duke and duchess on their wedding night. BOTTOM First, good Peter Quince, say what the play treats on, then read the names of the actors, and so grow to a point. BOTTOM First, Peter Quince, tell us what the play is about, then read the names of the actors, and then shut up. QUINCE 5 Marry, our play is The most lamentable comedy and most cruel death of Pyramus and Thisbe. QUINCE All right. Our play is called A Very Tragic Comedy About the Horrible Deaths of Pyramus and Thisbe. BOTTOM A very good piece of work, I assure you, and a merry.—Now, good Peter Quince, call forth your actors by the scroll.—Masters, spread yourselves. BOTTOM Let me tell you, it’s a great piece of work, and very—funny.—Now, Peter Quince, call the names of the actors on the list. Men, gather around him. QUINCE Answer as I call you.—Nick Bottom, the weaver? QUINCE Answer when I call your name.—Nick Bottom, the weaver? BOTTOM Ready. Name what part I am for and proceed. BOTTOM Here. Tell me which part I’m going to play, then go on. QUINCE You, Nick Bottom, are set down for Pyramus. QUINCE You, Nick Bottom, have been cast as Pyramus. Act 1, Scene 2, Page 2 BOTTOM 10 What is Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant? BOTTOM What’s Pyramus? A lover or a tyrant? QUINCE A lover that kills himself, most gallant, for love. QUINCE A lover who kills himself very nobly for love. BOTTOM That will ask some tears in the true performing of it. If I do it, let the audience look to their eyes. I will move storms. I will condole in some measure.—To the rest.—Yet my chief humor is for a tyrant. I could play Ercles rarely, or a part to tear a cat in to make all split. The raging rocks And shivering shocks Shall break the locks Of prison gates. And Phoebus' car Shall shine from far And make and mar The foolish Fates. This was lofty!—Now name the rest of the players.— This is Ercles' vein, a tyrant’s vein. A lover is more BOTTOM I’ll have to cry to make my performance believable. And as soon as I start crying, oh boy, the audience had better watch out, because they’ll start crying too. I’ll make tears pour out of their eyes like rainstorms. I’ll moan very believably.—Name the other actors.—But I’m really in the mood to play a tyrant. I could do a great job with Hercules, or any other part that requires ranting and raving. I would rant and rave really well. Like this, listen. The raging rocks nd shivering shocks Will break the locks Of prison gates. And the sun-god’s car Will shine from far Original Text Modern Text condoling. Away, and make and mar Foolish fate. Oh, that was truly inspired!—Now tell us who the other actors are.—By the way, my performance just now was in the style of Hercules, the tyrant style. A lover would have to be weepier, of course. QUINCE Francis Flute, the bellows-mender? QUINCE Francis Flute, the bellows-repairman? FLUTE 15 Here, Peter Quince. QUINCE Flute, you must take Thisbe on you. FLUTE Here, Peter Quince. QUINCE Flute, you’ll be playing the role of Thisbe. Act 1, Scene 2, Page 3 FLUTE What is Thisbe? A wandering knight? FLUTE Who’s Thisbe? A knight on a quest? QUINCE It is the lady that Pyramus must love. QUINCE Thisbe is the lady Pyramus is in love with. FLUTE Nay, faith, let me not play a woman. I have a beard coming. FLUTE No, come on, don’t make me play a woman. I’m growing a beard. QUINCE 20 That’s all one. You shall play it in a mask, and you may speak as small as you will. QUINCE That doesn’t matter. You’ll wear a mask, and you can make your voice as high as you want to. BOTTOM An I may hide my face, let me play Thisbe too! I’ll speak in a monstrous little voice: “Thisne, Thisne!”— “Ah, Pyramus, my lover dear, thy Thisbe dear and lady dear!” BOTTOM In that case, if I can wear a mask, let me play Thisbe too! I’ll be Pyramus first: “Thisne, Thisne!”—And then in falsetto: “Ah, Pyramus, my dear lover! I’m your dear Thisbe, your dear lady!” QUINCE No, no. You must play Pyramus.—And Flute, you Thisbe. QUINCE No, no. Bottom, you’re Pyramus.—And Flute, you’re Thisbe. BOTTOM Well, proceed. BOTTOM All right. Go on. QUINCE Robin Starveling, the tailor? QUINCE Robin Starveling, the tailor? STARVELING 25 Here, Peter Quince. STARVELING Here, Peter Quince. QUINCE Robin Starveling, you must play Thisbe’s mother.— Tom Snout, the tinker? QUINCE Robin Starveling, you’re going to play Thisbe’s mother.—Tom Snout, the handyman. SNOUT Here, Peter Quince. SNOUT Here, Peter Quince. QUINCE You, Pyramus' father.—Myself, Thisbe’s father.— Snug the joiner, you, the lion’s part.—And I hope here is a play fitted. QUINCE You’ll be Pyramus’s father—I’ll play Thisbe’s father myself—Snug, the cabinetmaker, you’ll play the part of the lion.—So that’s everyone. I hope this play is well cast now. Original Text Modern Text Act 1, Scene 2, Page 4 SNUG Have you the lion’s part written? Pray you, if it be, give it me, for I am slow of study. QUINCE 30 You may do it extempore, for it is nothing but roaring. SNUG Do you have the lion’s part written down? If you do, please give it to me, because I need to start learning the lines. It takes me a long time to learn things. QUINCE You can improvise the whole thing. It’s just roaring. BOTTOM Let me play the lion too. I will roar, that I will do any man’s heart good to hear me. I will roar, that I will make the duke say, “Let him roar again. Let him roar again.” BOTTOM Let me play the lion too. I’ll roar so well that it’ll be an inspiration to anyone who hears me. I’ll roar so well that the duke will say, “Let him roar again. Let him roar again.” QUINCE An you should do it too terribly, you would fright the duchess and the ladies, that they would shriek. And that were enough to hang us all. QUINCE If you roar too ferociously, you’ll scare the duchess and the other ladies and make them scream. And that would get us all executed. ALL That would hang us, every mother’s son. ALL Yeah, that would get every single one of us executed. BOTTOM I grant you, friends, if you should fright the ladies out of their wits, they would have no more discretion but to hang us. But I will aggravate my voice so that I will roar you as gently as any sucking dove. I will roar you an ’twere any nightingale. BOTTOM Well, my friends, you’ve got to admit that if you scare the living daylights out of the ladies, they’d have no choice but to execute us. But I’ll soften my voice—you know, aggravate it, so to speak— so that I’ll roar as gently as a baby dove. I’ll roar like a sweet, peaceful nightingale. QUINCE 35 You can play no part but Pyramus. For Pyramus is a sweet-faced man, a proper man as one shall see in a summer’s day, a most lovely, gentlemanlike man. Therefore you must needs play Pyramus. QUINCE You can’t play any part except Pyramus. Because Pyramus is a good-looking man, the most handsome man that you could find on a summer’s day, a lovely gentlemanly man. So you’re the only one who could play Pyramus. BOTTOM Well, I will undertake it. What beard were I best to play it in? BOTTOM Well then, I’ll do it. What kind of beard should I wear for the part? QUINCE Why, what you will. QUINCE Whatever kind you want, I guess. Act 1, Scene 2, Page 5 BOTTOM I will discharge it in either your straw-color beard, your orange-tawny beard, your purple-in-grain beard, or your French crown-color beard, your perfect yellow. BOTTOM I’ll play the part wearing either a straw-colored beard, or a sandy beard, or a red beard, or one of those bright yellow beards that’s the color of a French coin. QUINCE Some of your French crowns have no hair at all, and then you will play barefaced.—But masters, here are your parts. And I am to entreat you, request you, and desire you to con them by tomorrow night and meet QUINCE Some French people don’t have beards at all, because syphilis has made all their hair fall out, so you might have to play the part cleanshaven.—But gentlemen, here are your scripts, Original Text Modern Text me in the palace wood, a mile without the town, by moonlight. There will we rehearse, for if we meet in the city we shall be dogged with company, and our devices known. In the meantime I will draw a bill of properties such as our play wants. I pray you, fail me not. BOTTOM 40 We will meet, and there we may rehearse most obscenely and courageously. Take pains. Be perfect. Adieu. and I beg you to please learn them by tomorrow night. Meet me in the duke’s forest a mile outside of town. It’s best to rehearse there, because if we do it here in the city, we’ll be bothered by crowds of people and everyone will know the plot of our play. Meanwhile, I’ll make a list of props that we’ll need for the play. Now make sure you show up, all of you. Don’t leave me in the lurch. BOTTOM We’ll be there, and there we’ll rehearse courageously and wonderfully, truly obscenely. Work hard, know your lines. Goodbye. QUINCE At the duke’s oak we meet. QUINCE We’ll meet at the giant oak tree in the duke’s forest. BOTTOM Enough. Hold, or cut bowstrings. BOTTOM Got it? Be there, or don’t show your face again. Exeunt They all exit. Enter a FAIRY at one side and ROBIN (ROBIN GOODFELLOW) at another A FAIRY and ROBIN GOODFELLOW (a “puck” or mischievous spirit) meet onstage. Act 2, Scene 1 ROBIN How now, spirit? Whither wander you? ROBIN Hello, spirit! Where are you going? FAIRY Over hill, over dale, Thorough bush, thorough brier, Over park, over pale, Thorough flood, thorough fire. I do wander everywhere Swifter than the moon’s sphere. And I serve the fairy queen To dew her orbs upon the green. The cowslips tall her pensioners be. In their gold coats spots you see. Those be rubies, fairy favors. In those freckles live their savors. I must go seek some dewdrops here And hang a pearl in every cowslip’s ear. Farewell, thou lob of spirits. I’ll be gone. Our queen and all our elves come here anon. FAIRY I go over hills and valleys, through bushes and thorns, over parks and fenced-in spaces, through water and fire. I wander everywhere faster than the moon revolves around the Earth. I work for Titania, the Fairy Queen, and organize fairy dances for her in the grass. The cowslip flowers are her bodyguards. You’ll see that their petals have spots on them—those are rubies, fairy gifts. Their sweet smells come from those little freckles. Now I have to go find some dewdrops and hang a pearl earring on every cowslip flower. Goodbye, you dumb old spirit. I’ve got to go. The queen and her elves will be here soon. ROBIN The king doth keep his revels here tonight. 5 Take heed the queen come not within his sight. For Oberon is passing fell and wrath Because that she, as her attendant hath A lovely boy stolen from an Indian king. She never had so sweet a changeling. 10 And jealous Oberon would have the child Knight of his train, to trace the forests wild. But she perforce withholds the lovèd boy, Crowns him with flowers, and makes him all her joy. ROBIN The king’s having a party here tonight. Just make sure the queen doesn’t come anywhere near him, because King Oberon is extremely angry. He’s furious because she stole an adorable boy from an Indian king. She’s never kidnapped such a darling human child before, and Oberon’s jealous. He wants the child for himself, to accompany him on his wanderings through the wild forests. But the queen refuses to hand the boy over to Oberon. Instead, she puts flowers in the boy’s hair and makes a fuss over him.