How to Maintain a Good Friendship Essay

Introduction

Friendship is known to be one of the core types of relationships however there is a lack of universally agreed criteria to define what is friendship. Rather than trying to define the multi-faceted social relationship, this paper argues for reasons how and why friendships form to become close bonds. One of the most robust findings in social sciences is that existing friendships exhibit a great deal of similarity in attitudes and behaviors (McPherson et al., 2001). From perspectives such as homophily and similarity-attraction theory: both argue that individuals tend to associate with those most similar to them via personality traits (Carli, Ganley, & Pierce-Otay, 1991) attitudes (Bond, Byrne, & Diamond, 1968) or hobbies (Jamieson, Lydon, & Zanna, 1987) despite looking different from one anot90’jklher on the outside. Whether we are consciously aware or not, individuals are constantly participating in similarity attraction as can be seen in many real-life situations... It is commonly seen in higher education particularly when students decide whom they wish to live with; if the student doesn’t value being neat they may prefer someone who is not neat as this may create tension and conflict. With a focus on university students, this paper examines how certain similarities or common interests bring students together to form close relationships. Research has shown first-year college students who reported higher levels of friendship quality or peer support achieved high academic performance, lower levels of depression and anxiety, and lower levels of distress (Ashwin, 2003; Dennis, Phinney, & Chuateco, 2005.) Thus, this research aims to better understand how similarities or common interests may affect university students’ experiences of friendship to improve friendship quality and academic success.

Method

Epistemology

This study adopts a social constructionist position to highlight the experience of how common interests or similarities affect friendship among university students. From this perspective, psychology becomes knowledge constructed within a specific period and culture and is delivered through social processes (Ashworths 2007, 22). This study therefore recognises actions that are deemed the norm around forming friendships while remaining objective without vested interests on the part of the researcher.

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Participants

The participant interviews used for this study were Shazia, an adolescent female of Asian ethnicity, and Alexander, an adolescent male of white ethnicity. Both participants are students attending university.

Methodology

Five interviews were conducted at Liverpool John Moores University, specifically to be made available as a teaching resource. The interviews aimed to enable participants to talk at length about their experiences of friendship. The interviews lasted between 46 and 63 minutes (Mean 54 minutes). Two out of the five interviews were selected for analysis. The methodological approach adopted for this study was thematic analysis (Braun and Clarke, 2006) – a qualitative research method that uses a systematic six-step procedure to develop themes about a phenomenon. Braun and Clarke argue that through the use of thematic analysis, there is the potential to produce a rich and detailed account of the data as thematic analysis has been recognized for its theoretical freedom and flexibility. Each interview was initially examined individually to become familiar with the data set. Generating initial codes within the data began after the third reading (see Appendix A). By re-reading line by line codes were organized into potential themes using a Word document and themes were given initial names (see Appendix B). Once codes had been organized into candidate themes, they were reviewed by using visual representations by creating a rough thematic map to help organize data into theme piles (see appendix C). Ongoing analysis to refine the specifics of each theme was completed by developing and reorganizing thematic maps, where the relationship between themes and between different levels of themes (whether they are overarching or subthemes within them) was considered (see appendix D).

Ethics

As the interviews are available online and the videos can be downloaded the participants become identifiable therefore The British Psychological Society (2017) suggests when confidentiality or anonymity cannot be guaranteed, the participants must be warned of agreeing to participate. From the outset of data collection, participants were informed of the interviews being made available online and as a result, their anonymity and confidentiality could not be maintained. Nevertheless, measures were taken to anonymize the interviewees as they were all given pseudonyms, and other details such as precise information about their course and local place names were also disguised. Participants were also made aware of their right to withdraw from the interview and to withdraw their data from the project before it was made available online.

Analysis

Several different themes were found across the data set but for this assignment, only 3 will be analyzed in depth: the main overarching theme of Common interests and similarities with subthemes of drinking culture and social networking sites. The three have been selected for analysis to understand how having common interests and similarities attracts people to one another and aids the formation and maintenance of close friendships.

Common Interests and Similarities:

The similarity effect is a well-documented principle that explains individuals' tendency to associate with those who are most similar to them (Launay J, Dunbar RIM 2015). The similarity effect has been observed in multiple different populations and has observed increased similarity concerning attitudes, personality traits, hobbies, and values.

• “I get on with her, she’s very similar, she’s as clumsy as me, she’s this, that, and the other, we’re so similar.” (Line 571-572.)

Homophily can be seen here which is the tendency for individuals to associate with those most similar to them therefore forming a close relationship.

Drinking culture as a common interest:

Peer selection argument supports the similarity attraction theory by arguing individuals with similar behaviors attract each other (Seaman, P. and Ikegwuonu, T. 2010)

• “I guess enjoy certain interests you know like going for a drink.” Line 586.
• “Yeah, I want my friends to be able to drink”. (Line 587.)
• “Someone you can have a laugh with and go out with.” (Line 804.)

These quotes represent how drinking is a sought-after behavior among friends, and that they would appreciate their friends having the same interest of being into drinking as well.

For many young people within the UK, the expectation to consume alcohol has risen due to the increasing numbers of types of social occasions and some argue a growing acceptability of public drunkenness has emerged and therefore leading to the normalization of heavy drinking. In particular university events such as ‘Freshers Fair’ promote social bonding through the consumption of alcohol.

• “In fresher’s week, that’s when you’d make all your friends and all your first experiences”. (Line 122-123.)
• “The Fresher’s things, every, the whole floor, like twelve of us, we all just went out together, so we all became quite close in that week.” (Line 174-175.)

These quotes suggest that the ‘freshers fair’ is seen as a significant time for making new friendships when starting university. It is inclusive as it involves meeting and conversing with new housemates to potentially create close relationships while consuming alcohol.

Young people wishing to ‘lose control’ have been normalized through alcohol-related opportunities in mainstream culture. For some individuals drinking has become such a large factor when forming friendships that it can deter friendships from becoming meaningful and close.

• “The girls on my floor didn’t go out that often so in that way I kinda grew apart from them”. (Line 185-186.)
• “Em, I think there’s that common interest of having a crazy first year [INT: yeah] and going wild”. (Line 192-193.)

Participants explain how close relationships weren’t formed due to the lack of similar interests and attitudes about drinking. Previous research has demonstrated how binge drinkers are more likely to report using alcohol as a means to make friends (Grant, A. Brown, B. Kacvinsky, K. Monero, M. 2011.) Having such strong attitudes about drinking and in some cases, using alcohol as a tool to make friends, has negative long-term consequences for the individual. Several studies provide evidence that heavy drinking impairs academic performance: Delk and Meilman's (1996) study reported that 56.2% had missed a class as a consequence of their drinking.

To summarize the similarity-effect and homophily are factors that may mediate how friendships can be formed. For some young people drinking behavior and the consumption of alcohol has been normalized and is seen as a desired interest to form close relationships with people despite its potentially negative consequences.

Social Networking Sites as a common interest:

Another common interest found across the data set is the discussion of one of the most widely used Internet applications: Social Networking Sites (SNS). Valkenburg and Peter (2009) found that teenagers who spend more time instant messaging scored higher on friendship quality than those who spent less time on this activity.

• “erm over Facebook I like to sort of give people a line every so often, erm I tend to like to keep in touch with people” (Line 170-171.)
• “Cause we’re always texting and calling anyway so you’ve always got that thing between us” (Line 62-63.)

SNSs have transformed the means of communication and have aided the maintenance of friendship as all that is required is an exchange of short notes to arrange a time to meet or arrange a phone call therefore improving friendship quality despite being at a far distance from one another.

Due to the high amount of youth belonging to SNSs, there is potential to impact the psychological and social development of youth who use them through mediators such as self-disclosure and friendship quality (Valkenburg and Peter, 2009). Self-disclosure has been defined as “any message about the self that an individual communicates to another”(Cozby, 1973).

• “So we erm got on well on MSN, wow I’ve never got on so well so fast with someone just over the internet, you know I can trust her, I can tell her anything and I only met her once, I only met her once er for dinner the other day and yeah we get on like a house on fire.” (Line 83-86.)

Online communication may encourage users to disclose intimate information, as they feel anonymous and safe from potentially disagreeing responses. The analysis is consistent with previous research that indicates self-disclosure is important in the development and maintenance of friendships (Draper et al., 2008) therefore it can be argued that the disclosure of personal information can enhance trust and facilitate the formation and maintenance of friendships as the behavior of online self-disclosure has been positively related to friendships quality.

Reflexivity

As the researcher, I am of mixed-Asian ethnicity similar to Shazia. Thus, I noticed during the process of reading the interview the event where she described how her non-Asian friends didn’t understand the depth of what it means to be from a Middle Eastern background and trying to date from a young age. I was quite struck by how similar our experiences were and this resonated with me, as I understood how coming from a strict Asian background clashes with Western culture and norms. To avoid this affecting the analysis I decided to ignore this experience and not include it within the data to prevent my own bias.

As thematic analysis is not a linear process, some argue that this can fall as a limitation as it does not provide the researcher with a clear theoretical footing. This means the researcher must complete a comprehensive amount of conceptual work before they can begin the research itself.