CST Concepts-Communication

We judge people, sometimes unconsciously, to know what to do next (How to approach or avoid the other person). Dangerous when we think that it is the actual truth. 1) Only 2 ways in which we communicate face to face (?) a) Verbally: Communicating with language (Words). b) Non-verbally: Every other way we communicate other than verbal. 2) There are 4 contexts in which we communicate face to face (?) a) Intrapersonal b) Interpersonal (One on one) c) Small group (3 to 13) d) Public (13+) 3) You are 50% responsible for the success or failure of every communication event in which you participate! a) Sending and receiving messages at the same time. You can’t be doing anything else or else the communication is not effective. 8/25/2016 Chapter 1 Elements that exist in all communication contexts: 1. Messages: the building blocks of communication events. 2. Context (Reason): a. Encoding: taking ideas and converting them into messages b. Decoding: receiving a message and interpreting its meaning. 3. Symbol: something that represents something else and conveys meaning. 4. Meaning: a. Content Meaning: the concrete meaning of the message, and the meanings suggested by or associated with the message as well as the emotions triggered by it. b. Relationship Meaning: what a message conveys about the relationship between the parties. 5. Setting/Atmosphere: the physical surroundings of a communication event. 6. Participants: the people interacting during communication (sender and receiving). 7. Channel (Verbal or non-Verbal): the means through which a message is transmitted. 8. Noise: any stimulus that can interfere with, or degrade, the quality of a message. a. White: Distraction that you can hear or see. b. Physical: Distraction that you can feel. c. Psychological: Thoughts or thinking about other things. 9. Feedback: the response to a message. 10. Frame of reference: experience and can get on the way. 08/30/2016 I) Contexts a. b. c. d. e. Intrapersonal Interpersonal (One on One) Small group (3 to 13) Public (13+) Mediated II) Effective Communication a. You must be responsible: I. Attentive II. Perceptive III. Responsive b. You must be ethical: I. You can’t use communication to manipulate people. c. You must be credible: I. Credible and confidence work together. III) Communication is risky a) b) c) d) e) Failure Rejection Irreversible: You can’t take the effect back Obligation Change: The more you learn the easier you find out you might be wrong. IV) The quality of each person’s life is directly related to the quality of the communication they experience. a. b. c. d. Relationships (personal/professional) Career Emotional and Physical well-being. Solving problems. V) Other communication concepts a. b. c. d. e. Sending does not always guarantee receiving. Communication cues are not always intentional. Meaning are in people, not words. (Cognitive and denotated) An idea cannot be given over to another person like a piece of cake. I am my brother’s maker and he is mine. *Understanding this concepts will help reduce feelings of frustration, anger and failure. Chapter 2: Perceptions I) What are our perceptions? a. The way we view the world around us. b. What we see, feel, hear, touch and sense, and how we interpret it. c. It is out reality, but not necessarily anyone else’s. Thus, probably, not the total truth. *Through communication it is our job to bring our reality (perceptions) closer together will their reality of others so we can better understand them and they us. II) Our perceptions are affected by our past experiences. a. Culture (belief, values, attitude) b. Gender c. Physical and Psychological states. d. Self-concept “I am not who you think I am. I am not who I think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” III) Improving our perceptions. a. Remember that each person’s frame of reference is different. b. Remember that people, situations, and objects may appear to be the same but with the more you experience and the more you learn, it’s going to change. c. Remember that most of what you perceive (Interpret) is most likely partially wrong. d. Be an active perceiver. e. Keep an open mind. Chapter 3: Self Concept I) Self-concept is the way we view ourselves, immensely affects our perceptions. a. Self-Image is who we think we are socially. b. Self-esteem is the way we feel about ourselves. II) Self-concept is a continually changing process from time to time, situation to situation, and person to person. a. How we look at ourselves. b. How we look at others. c. How other look at us. d. How we think others look at us. III) Our self-concept is greatly affected by our culture and gender. a. b. c. d. IV) Values Attitudes Beliefs Expectations Understanding ourselves better a. Self-image: What would you like to change? b. Self-esteem: Why do you feel this way about self? c. What action are you going to take? d. What will be the goals you set? e. What kinds of people will you associate with? (Supportive or non-supportive? Positive or negative people?) 9/13/16 CHAPTER 4 1) Language: o Help us encounter and understand our world and others in a more meaningful way. o It allows us to share meaning with others and this builds our confidence and credibility. A. It gives us information. B. It describes and explain. C. It categorizes and sorts information. D. It distinguishes relationships between ideas. E. It helps us evaluate and judge. F. It allows us to change, cooperate, create, and resolve conflicts. 2) Elements of language a) Sounds – syllables b) Words – sounds that form symbols that stand for objects and concepts. c) Grammar – rules that tell us word order so we can make phrases, sentences, paragraphs. d) Meaning – phrases and sentences that form ideas, feelings, contexts. 3) Word meanings A) Concrete & Abstract 1. Tangible 2. Intangible B) Connotative and Denotative 1. Dictionary meaning 2. Person meaning *Meanings are in people, not words. 4) Language distorts meanings A) Slangs: the use of words in special ways by subpopulations or particular communities. 1. Cool, hot, dig, etc. B) Euphemism: the use of a mild expression in order to ease an offensive one. 1. “He passed away” C) Double speak: the deliberate misuse of language in order to distort the meaning. 5) Language Barriers: Aspects or the use of language that often confuses communication. A) By passing: when sender and receiver believes their meaning of a word is the correct one. 1. Leads to misunderstanding, confusion, conflict. B) Indiscrimination: when word meanings are generalized to groups of people and not accounting for individual differences. 1. “All old people…” “All men/women…” 2. Provides a mental picture that is usually negative. Leads to their mistreatment. C) Polarization: When we view things in terms of extremes. 1. Rich or poor; bad or good; beautiful or ugly. 2. It confuses the way we view things. * Most things fall somewhere in between. D) Sexist language: When the superiority of one gender over another is expressed. 1.”Women are emotional and weak.” “Men are unfaithful and war-like”. 2. Our language is inherently biased in favor of men. 6) Effectively using language A) Use concrete terms – more accurate. B) Use vivid descriptive words, phrases. 1. Comparisons. 2. Examples and illustrations. 3. Imagery. C) Use language that is immediate (understandable) to the listener. 1. How and what affects him. D) Use language that is appropriate to listener. 1. Every situation (event) is different thus, requiring different language. 09/20/2016 CHAPTER 5 1) Non-verbal is every other way we choose to communicate other than language. a) We rely on the nonverbal for 65% or more to interpret messages. b) However, it is more ambiguous than verbal communication. I. More often misinterpreted. II. Harder to understand. c) We tend to trust the nonverbal over the verbal I. More instinctive: unconscious. II. Thus, harder to control. III. More of it, thus harder to control. d) Our nonverbal messages are determined by: I. Our gender II. Our culture III. Our status IV. The situation at the time. 2) Characteristics of Nonverbal a) It occurs constantly. b) The context often determines its use. c) It is more believable. d) It is used and interpreted more than verbal. e) It relates closely to our frame of reference. f) It is more ambiguous than verbal. 3) Types of Nonverbal Communication. a) Gestures and body movements I. Posture II. Facial Expressions III. Eye movements b) Physical characteristics I. height and weight. II. Skin, hair, eye color and/or type c) Artifacts I. Clothes, watches, jewelry, glasses, etc. d) Environment I. Live, work, dine, socialize. e) Paralanguage I. Vocalic f) Touch – how we use it I. Haptics g) Space – how we use it I. Proxemics h) Time – how we use it I. Chronemics I) Rules & Standards of Culture – how we respond to them I. Norms II. Status > When to approach or avoid. > Who has authority and who doesn’t > Degree of our feelings for… 4) Functions of Nonverbal as it relates to verbal. a) Repeats for I. Smile = “I’m pleased” b) Compliments I. Hug c) Emphasizes I. Paralanguage d) Substitutes I. Nod, shrug, stop, go e) Contradicts I. “Nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.” (Paralanguage) f) Regulates I. To whom you can and can’t talk to II. When you can talk and when not III. What you can talk about IV. And for how long 5) Self-monitoring can help make your nonverbal clearer. a) Be ultra-aware of how people are reacting to you. (Picture yourself and adapt) b) Ask close friends for opinions c) Video tape yourself d) Study different communication contexts – adapt. 09/22/2016 CHAPTER 6: LISTENING 1. Listening is crucial to effective communication. a. Hearing and Listening? i. Hearing is physiological and Listening is intellectual. b. Reason we are poor listeners? i. We believe it’s a passive activity. ii. But, it is an active activity. 2. Active Listening: Requires an effort. a. Get physically ready b. Screen-out distractions c. Focus on the main points d. Send back accurate messages e. Organize the information f. Analyze the information 3. Listening is a process a. Selecting – choose what to focus on b. Attending – Focus on stimuli, down play others c. Understanding – Meaning d. Evaluating – Judge/Analyze e. Remembering – re thinking/recalling f. Responding – feedback 4. Functions of Listening a. Information b. Evaluation c. Empathy (Putting yourself in their shoes) d. Enjoyment 5. Barriers of Listening – learned behavior, we can correct them. a. Judging the speaker instead of what he is saying. b. Indifferent to the topic c. Too many notes and details d. Distractions e. Avoidance of difficult listening situations f. Fake listening 6. Improving your listening skills. a. Stop talking (to yourself about other stuff) b. Avoid interrupting c. React to ideas and not to the person. d. Ask questions – paraphrase e. Keep open mind – be flexible f. Listen for the main idea – “What’s the point?” g. Empathize, is needed h. Take notes, if necessary (general) INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION RELATIONSHIPS 1. The quantity and quality of your communication will determine the depth of your interpersonal relationships. 2. What is interpersonal communication? a. Two person interacting 3. When does interpersonal relationship actually begin? a. Whenever we view the other person as an individual, not an object. 4. What kinds of communication further or deepen relationships? a. Small talks: First encounters due to proximity, circumstance, and/or positive experience. i. Use the other person’s name. ii. Eye contact (shows you care) iii. Positive non-verbal behaviors (leaning-in, smiling, etc.) iv. Ask questions (get them to talk about themselves) b. Communication Climates is the mood or tone of the relationship at each moment. i. Positive climates exist when the communication values the other person. ii. Negative climates are created when the communication devalues the other person. iii. The climates can and will affect the relationship over time. iv. Improved communications = Positive Climates – Deeper relationships 1. Speak positively 2. Confirm the others worth 3. Empathize c. Self-Disclosure is the voluntary sharing of information about one self. i. The more the sharing the more the understanding thus the more significant the relationship. ii. Effects of Self-disclosure 1. Builds your relationships 2. Demonstrates trust 3. Helps in understanding the other person. 4. Helps in understanding yourselves. iii. Characteristics: 1. Increases with intimacy and visa-versa. 2. Increases when rewarded. 3. Increases with the need to reduce uncertainty. 4. Women self-disclose more personal information than men. iv. Guidelines for self-disclose: 1. Analyze your relationship. 2. Analyze the present situation and the issues at hand. 3. Make sure the other person is self-disclosing. 4. Consider differences in culture and gender. 5. Be positive. 6. Be open, honest, and reasonable. 7. Remember you can’t take it back. d. Conflict cannot be stopped in any relationship, nor should it be. It is essential to growth and understanding. i. It results from the tension between two people who feel they have mutually exclusive goals. (When one of the two people can’t get what they want) 1. Not enough information due to lack of communication. 2. Not enough resources to go around. 3. Expectations of one are too high, too low. 4. Needs and desires are blocked. 5. Struggle for power and control. 6. Different values and ethics. 7. Personality irritations. ii. Destructive Conflict 1. When one wins and one loses. 2. Aggressive action, withdrawal or accusations. 3. When the goal is actually smaller than the conflict itself. 4. Prevents the parties from moving on or feeling good about themselves. 5. It forces us to do things we don’t want to do. iii. Constructive Conflict 1. Learn about self and other. 2. Share ideas. 3. Win-win for parties. 4. Helps us better understand relationship. 5. Brings us closer together. 6. Deepens and moves the relationship forward. 7. Makes us feel good about self. iv. Resolving Interpersonal Conflict 1. Self-regulation: a. Control your emotions. 2. Self-expression: a. Control what you say. b. Be descriptive vs accusatory. 3. Negotiate: a. Compromise b. Try for a win-win 5. Communication is the one overriding factor that will determine the depth and length of any interpersonal relationship and how many we need. a. Forming deeper relationships is hard work and takes time. i. Attraction: People who can help us. 1. Social attraction: Good within our circle of friends. 2. Physical attraction: Good looking. 3. Task attraction: Get the job done. ii. Need to love and be loved. iii. Sameness Attraction: people who are like is in beliefs, social class, looks. b. Major Problems is deeper relationship. i. Expectations of Intimacy 1. Self-disclosure, expression of intimacy, etc. ii. Loss of trust 1. Infidelity, deception, lying 2. Creates suspicion – destroy credibility. iii. Physical aggression. POSSIBLE TEST QUESTIONS 1. Explain communication is transactional a. Sending or Receiving 2. What are you actually doing when you are doing your 50% a. Sending and receiving messages at the same time 3. Why at the same time? a. That’s the only way you are going to be in the moment. 4. Why is it when we go to a situation that is new to us, we analyze it really quickly and come to a conclusion without any background, either people or situation. a. To know what to do next. 5. What are the elements within every communication event a. Noise, Channel 6. Define Noise a. Anything that interferes with the message 7. Two means that we can communicate face to face a. Verbal: Communicating with language b. non-verbal 8. Four contexts that you will communicate in your life a. Interpersonal: One on one b. Intrapersonal: Talk to ourselves c. Small group d. Public 9. Three reasons that communication is risky a. Failure b. Irreversible c. Change 10. Why does sending does not guarantee receiving? a. There is so much noise 11. Communication ques are not necessary on purpose a. Some cues we might interpret them in other way. 12. What does this mean “Meanings are in people not in words.” a. Because people have a cognitive meaning of a word 13. Why can’t an idea be given like a piece of cake? a. Its intangible 14. What does this mean “I am my brothers maker” a. People become what they think other people think about them. 15. What does this mean “I am who I think you think I am” a. All the messages we receive from other people (verbal and non-verbal) are what makes us who we are. 16. How do credibility and confidence work together? a. Credibility comes from your preparation or how much you know and you get you confidence from the messages other people send to you. 17. Define perception a. The way we view the world around us. 18. [Missed the question] a. It is out reality, but not necessarily anyone else’s. Thus, probably, not the total truth. 19. What does perception have to do with communication? a. Perception affects how we are going to say things. 20. Define self-concept a. The way we view ourselves 21. Self-concept is made up of two things. What are those? a. Self-image: how we think about ourselves in all communication events. b. Self-esteem: the way we feel about ourselves in all our communication events. 22. How is it you and I determine who we are? a. How we look at ourselves. b. How we look at others. (I compare to others) c. How other look at us. d. How we think others look at us. 23. Explain all “Words are concrete or abstract” a. Some words are tangible (desk, chair) and other are not (concepts, freedom, liberty) 24. Explain “All words are cognitive and denotative” a. They have a dictionary definition and your own definition 25. Define slang a. Slangs: the use of words in special ways by subpopulations or particular communities. 26. What is a euphemism a. The use of a mild expression in order to ease an offensive one. 27. Define bypassing a. When sender and receiver believes their meaning of a word is the correct one. 28. What is indiscrimination? a. When word meanings are generalized to groups of people and not accounting for individual differences. 29. What is polarization? a. When we view things in terms of extremes. 30. Ways in which we can communicate better with other people? a. Use concrete terms b. Use imagery c. Use language that is immediate to the listener d. Use examples e. Use comparisons 31. Why do we trust non-verbal communication over verbal? a. It’s hard to control because there is much of it and it’s more distinctive. 32. Which is more accurate, verbal or non-verbal? a. Verbal, because it has a dictionary meaning which helps us understand it better. 33. Define paralanguage? a. The way you use words 34. Define haptics? a. The way we use touch 35. Define proxemics? a. The way we use space 36. Define norm? a. Rule or standard of our culture. 37. What is the difference between listening and hearing a. Hearing is physiological and Listening is intellectual. 38. Major reason why most of us are poor listeners a. We believe it is a passive activity, but we do need to work on it. 39. Name some other barriers of our listening a. Judging the speaker b. Distractions c. Too many Details d. Avoid difficult situations e. Fake listening 40. Ways that we might improve our listening skills? a. Stop talking to yourselves b. React to ideas not the person c. Avoid interrupting 41. Define what an interpersonal a. Acknowledges someone outside 42. Types of communication a. Small talk b. Climates c. Self-disclosure 43. What makes small talk better? a. Use other person’s name b. Eye contact c. Positive d. Ask questions 44. How do communication climates occur? a. When you devalue or value the other person and set either a positive and negative climate.