Adlerian Overview of Birth Order Characteristics

ADLERIAN OVERVIEW OF BIRTH ORDER CHARACTERISTICS (This is a broad simplification of Adler's theory.) POSITION ONLY OLDEST FAMILY SITUATION CHILD'S CHARACTERISTICS Birth is a miracle. Parents Can be over-protected and spoiled. Likes being the have no previous experience center of attention. Often has difficulty sharing. and may be timid or anxious. Prefers adult company and uses adult language. Retains 200% attention from Disappointed if abilities not promptly recognized and both parents through rewarded. May be socially inept with peers. childhood. Matures early. Dethroned by next child; feels loss of power and control. Has Feels power is his right and strives to gain it back. to learn to share. Parent Overemphasizes importance of authority, rules, laws. expectations are usually very May become authoritarian or strict. Many are high. Often given extra “problem” kids, but can become helpful if encouraged. responsibility and expected to Often focused on the past, pessimistic about the future. set an example. SECOND Parents ease up and tend to Is competitive and ambitious. Sets high goals. May demand or expect less. Has a become a rebel or try to outdo everyone. Competition “pacemaker” in the older can deteriorate into rivalry. Can be more successful or sibling, who may be seen as a talented than older sib, but may give up if oldest model or a threat. Language & consistently excels. Often more optimistic than older motor skills develop faster sib. than older child. MIDDLE Is "sandwiched" in. May feel squeezed out of a position of privilege and significance. Always has to share, never gets first pick. May be even-tempered, "take it or leave it" attitude. May have trouble with setting or reaching goals, or finding a place in the world. May become a fighter of injustice. Has many mothers and fathers.Wants to be bigger than the others. Highly motivated Older children try to educate to excel, but often sets unrealistic goals. Has huge him. Never dethroned, but plans that never seem to work out. Because of desire YOUNGEST never experiences real power to succeed in everything, never develops one central either. Often spoiled or ambition. A dreamer. Has trouble establishing pampered by parents and independence. May be helpless under pressure, and siblings. may have a good deal of unrealized potential. TWIN "GHOST CHILD" One is usually stronger or Can have identity problems. Strives to separate self more active. Parents may see from other; to be independent. May lack direction or one as older or more mature. be a follower. Stronger one may become the leader. Child born after the death of the first child may have a "ghost" in front of him. Mother may become overprotective. Child may exploit mother's over-concern for his or her well-being, or may rebel and protest the feeling of being compared to an idealized memory. Struggles to be his or her own person. ADOPTED CHILD ONLY BOY AMONG GIRLS ONLY GIRL AMONG BOYS Parents may be so thankful to have a child that they spoil him. They may try to compensate for the loss of the child’s biological parents. Usually with women all the time, if father is away. Child may become very spoiled and demanding. Child may come to resent the adoptive parents and idealize the biological parents, or child may resent perceived abandonment by biological parents and strive to feel worthy of love. May try to prove he is the man in the family and develop hyper-masculine characteristics, or may become effeminate. Older brothers may act as her Can become very feminine, dependent, and helpless. protectors. May try to please Or may become a tomboy and try to outdo the the father. brothers. ALL BOYS If mother wanted a girl, can be Child may capitalize on assigned role or protest it dressed or treated as a girl. vigorously. ALL GIRLS May be dressed or treated as a Child may capitalize on assigned role or protest it boy. vigorously. GENERAL NOTES 1. 2. 3. 4. The psychological situation of each child in the family is different. The child's opinion of himself and his situation determines his choice of attitude. If more than 3 years separate children, sub-groups of birth order may form. A child's birth-order position may be seized by another child if circumstances permit (e.g., sibling’s illness or weakness; parents’ treatment differs from expectations). 5. Competition may be expressed in choice of interests or development of personality characteristics. 6. Birth order is sometimes not a major influence on personality development. The other potentially significant influences are: organ inferiority, parental attitudes, social & economic position, and gender roles. 7. Adler speculated that birth order differences would begin to disappear when families became less competitive and autocratic, and more cooperative and democratic.