Sexual Techniques and Behaviour Patterns Lecture

Sexual Techniques and Behaviour Patterns Solitary Sexual Behaviour Sexual Fantasy – Mental imagery that’s sexually arousing or erotic – Can be purposeful or spontaneous, without conscious effort – Can be experienced as positive, negative, or both – Most consider sexual fantasies to be normal – Men report thinking about sex more than women – Younger age and higher education associated with thinking about sex Sexual Fantasy Content – Some research suggests sexual fantasy content of male and female university students is similar • Sex with a loved partner, kissing passionately, having sex in places other than the bedroom, having sex outdoors, giving and receiving oral sex • Men more likely to report fantasies with themes of anonymous or impersonal sex – – Unmarried women more likely to fantasize about current partner than married women Men more likely to fantasize about forcing women into sexual activity, women more likely to fantasize about being forced – though this doesn’t mean either gender really wants to participate in this activity Solitary Sexual Behaviour LGB Fantasy – Survey of lesbian and bisexual women suggested that the happier they were in their relationships, the more likely they were to fantasize about common activities with their partners – Study of gay and heterosexual men in India found heterosexual men’s fantasies to be more limited while gay men fantasized about a wider range of sexual behaviours Theoretical Perspectives on Sexual Fantasy Evolutionary theorists propose men and women fantasize about partners and behaviours which would enhance reproductive success • Men – sex with many partners • Women – close, protective partners – Others say sexual fantasies are a reflection of traditional sexual scripts and gender roles Sexual Dreams – Limited research, however one study conducted at Trent University and UBC • Sexual dreams appear to be common among university students • Most rated the dreams as pleasurable as having intercourse • Most common activities were kissing and sexual intercourse • Most dreamed about behaviours they had engaged in with their partners – Masturbation in History – – – Within the Judeo-Christian tradition, self-stimulation has been strongly condemned as sinful These views carried into medicine in the 18th century • Corn Flakes were invented by the Kellogg brothers to quell sexual urges Mid 19th century, parents were encouraged to take steps to prevent children’s masturbation Masturbation Today – – Surveys indicate that most people masturbate at some time • Population-based sexual health survey of men and women in the US (Herbenick et al., 2010) suggests masturbation occurs at least occasionally for 18 to 59 year olds • Men more often than women • 40 to 59 year old women more often than teenaged women Increases with education Innovative Canadian Research Online Masturbation – Survey of 217 students (average age 19.5), 83.3% of men and 30.8% of women reported looking at sexually explicit material online in the past month – ¾ of men and 1/5 of women masturbated while watching sexually explicit videos online – 11.1% of men and 1.7% of women indicated they had masturbated while looking at strangers on webcams during that time Solitary Sexual Behaviour Male Masturbation Techniques – Most men masturbate with manual manipulation of the penis • Gripping penile shaft with one hand, jerking it up and down in a milking motion • Usually shift from a gentler rubbing action during the flaccid/semi-erect stage, moving to a more vigorous milking motion once fully erect • Speeding up as orgasm approaches • At orgasm, grasping shaft tightly, avoiding glans • May use lubricant (soapsuds, lotion etc.) Female Masturbation Techniques – Techniques vary widely, as do tempo and style • Most masturbate by massaging the mons, labia minora, and clitoral region with circular or back-and-forth motions • May straddle the clitoris with their fingers, stroking shaft rather than glans • May pull or tug on vaginal lips • Some women massage other sensitive areas (e.g., breasts or nipples) • Some use dildos or vibrators • Some masturbate during baths Sexual Behaviour With Others Foreplay – – – – Physical interactions that are sexually stimulating and set the stage for intercourse • E.g., cuddling, kissing, petting, oral sex Pattern and duration varies widely Sex therapists often encourage couples to consider foreplay activities as activities for their own sake, rather than as activities which must lead to penetration Tantric sex • Type of lovemaking which emphasizes prolonged foreplay • Based on Eastern spiritual philosophies that promote the integration of the mind and body • Focuses on sexual union as spiritual connection which leads to heightened sexual pleasure and ecstasy • Includes deep breathing, slowed sexual interactions, and delayed ejaculation Innovative Canadian Research Desired Duration of Foreplay – Study of heterosexual couples at the University of New Brunswick found men and women were similar in terms of how long they wanted foreplay to last – Women underestimated how much foreplay their partner wanted – Men were accurate in estimating how much time their partners, and the average woman, wanted to spend on foreplay Sexual Behaviour With Others Kissing – – – – Almost universal in our culture, but unknown in some societies Simple kissing (mouth closed) Deep kissing (also called French kissing) May be an affectionate gesture without erotic significance Touching – Caressing erogenous zones with the hands or other parts of the body can be highly arousing – Is a common form of foreplay – Women prefer stimulation around the clitoris rather than on the sensitive glans; often not manual penetration – Men typically like their partners to directly stroke their genitals early in sexual interaction – Women prefer partners caress genitals later Breast Stimulation – Men are more likely to stimulate women’s breasts than to enjoy having their own breasts fondled – Most women enjoy breast stimulation; some can achieve orgasm from this alone – Can use hands and mouth to stimulate breasts – Generally women prefer several minutes of body contact and gentle caresses before intense breast stimulation Breast Stimulation in Gay Males – Gay men stimulate their partner’s nipples more often than heterosexual women do Masters and Johnson observed gay men orally or manually stimulating their partners breasts after hugging and kissing – Heterosexual men may be unaware that their breasts are erotically sensitive Oral-Genital Sex – Fellatio • Oral stimulation of the male genitals – Cunnilingus • Oral stimulation of the female genitals – Popularity increased since the 1940’s and 50’s – First seen as a way of arousing the couple, particularly the women, prior to sex – Now an accepted means of pleasure on its own – Recently, anxiety among parents has increased due to media reports of oral sex parties among youth – Swallowing semen not harmful unless male has an infection that can be transmitted via semen – Oral-genital contact with the genitals of an infected partner may transmit infection – Oral sex is not risk-free! – Survey Data • For most age groups, women are only slightly less likely to report receiving oral sex than giving it • More common than previously thought among those in their 40’s, 50’s and 60’s • In 1998 Compas poll, oral sex questions were the most commonly left unanswered • Oral sex experience related to level of education • Common activity among university women and gay and bisexual men – – Not everyone likes oral sex • Some choose to abstain • Some don’t enjoy giving or receiving • Some object on grounds of cleanliness • Some are concerned or embarrassed about direct views of “private” body parts • Some prefer not to taste or swallow semen • Some worry about whether oral sex is accepted by their religion or culture Oral Sex Techniques – Fellatio • Though term means “to suck”, sucking is generally not highly arousing • Up-and-down movements of the penis in the partner’s mouth and licking of the penis are generally the most stimulating • Gentle licking of the scrotum may also be highly arousing • Muscles of the mouth and jaw can create varied pressure and movements • • • Be careful never to touch the penis with the teeth Moving penis in and out of mouth with varying speed and combined with manual stimulation can increase arousal Gagging may be avoided – By grasping the shaft of the penis with one hand and controlling the depth of penetration – By having the receptive partner on top – By gradually deepening penetration – Cunnilingus • Partner may begin by kissing and licking the woman’s abdomen and inner thighs, gradually nearing vulva • Gentle tugging or sucking of the labia minora can be stimulating (without biting) • Many women enjoy licking or sucking of the clitoris • The tongue may be inserted in the vagina • Many women find cunnilingus the best means of achieving orgasm – “69” • • • • • Mutual, simultaneous oral-genital stimulation May be practiced side by side or with one partner on top of the other Partners often alternate positions Can be positive because both partners are stimulated at the same time, but may be challenging if partners are not the same size Also deprives each partner of focusing on receiving pleasure Intercourse Techniques – The Male-Superior (Man-on-Top) Position • Also called the missionary position • Partner’s face each other • Man lies above the woman, supporting himself on his hands and knees • Movement is easier for man, so he largely directs the activity • May be pleasurable for the woman to guide the penis into the vagina • Because the couple faces each other, it is easier to kiss • Woman can stroke man’s body, buttocks, scrotum • Makes it difficult for man to caress partner (clitoris in particular) – The Female-Superior (Woman-on-Top) Position • Partner’s face eachother • Woman straddles man from above, controlling the angle of penile entry and the depth of thrusting • Some women lie, some sit, most vary their positions • Woman may feel “in charge” – can guarantee that she receives adequate clitoral stimulation thus facilitating orgasm The Lateral-Entry (Side-Entry) Position • Man and woman lie side-by-side, facing each other • Allows each partner relatively free movement and easy access to each other • Isn’t physically taxing – An excellent position for prolonged coitus, older couples, couples who are fatigued, or with pregnant women The Rear-Entry Position • Man faces the woman’s back • Man may enjoy viewing and pressing his abdomen against his partner’s buttocks • Man can reach around to provide extra stimulation of the breasts or buttocks • Woman can reach behind to stroke testicles • Some couples feel uncomfortable with this position because of animal mating patterns, impersonality, or perceived male dominance • – – Anal Sex • Can be practiced by male-female and male-male couples • Involves insertion of the penis into the rectum • Rectum is rich with nerve endings and highly sensitive to stimulation • Both men and women may achieve orgasm through anal sex • Penetrating male is usually behind partner • • • • • • • • • • The rectum produces no natural lubrication – artificial lubricants are advised A finger in the rectum during orgasm can heighten sensation Approx. ¼ men and 1/5 women reported engaging in anal sex in their lifetimes (10% over the last year) More common among gay males than heterosexual couples Not all gay men enjoy or practice anal sex Those who do often alternate between being the insertive and receptive partner Some individuals engage in “fisting” (insertion of hand or fist into the vagina or rectum) – Carries a risk of infection and/or injury Some couples kiss or lick anus during foreplay (anilingus) – Carries a serious health risk because microorganisms which cause intestinal diseases and various STIs can be spread STIs and HIV are spread through anal sex when small tears in the rectal tissues allow microbes to enter the recipient’s bloodstream Couples having anal sex should use condoms Gay and Lesbian Sexual Behaviour Ontario survey of Canadian gay and bisexual men – Most common activities were deep-tongue kissing, oral sex without condoms, and mutual masturbation – Anal sex without condoms more common among regular partners than casual ones – Most research on the sexual behaviour of gay and bisexual men has been focused on risk – Sexual techniques practiced by lesbians vary – Includes kissing, manual and oral stimulation of the breasts and genitals – Many couples engage in genital apposition (rubbing genitals together rhythmically Feelings About Sexual Behaviour The fact that people engage in certain behaviours doesn’t mean that they feel positively about them Women rate themselves as more comfortable than men with less sexually explicit behaviours (e.g., cuddling, hugging, dancing) Men were more comfortable than women with fellatio, anal intercourse, woman-on-top intercourse, and rear-entry vaginal intercourse