Pancinco - Min Jin Lee

PACHINKO miп ]iп Lee BOOK 1 Gohyang/ Hometown 1910-1933 Home is a name, a word, it is a strong one; stronger than magician ever spoke, or spirit answered to, in strongest conjuration. -Charles Dickens I Y eongdo, Busan, Korea History has failed us, but no matter. At the turn of the century, an aging fisherman and his wife decided to take in lodgers for extra money. Both were born and raised in the fishing village ofYeongdo-a five-mile-wideislet beside the port city of Busan. In their long marriage, the wife gave birth to three sons, but only Boonie, the eldest and the weakest one, survived. Boonie was born with a cleft palate and a twisted foot; he was, however, endowed with hefty shoulders, a squat build, and a golden complexion. Even as a young man, he retained the mild, thoughtful temperament he'd had as a child. When Boonie covered his misshapen mouth with his hands, something he did out of habit meeting strangers, he resembled his nice-looking father, both having the same large, smiling eyes. Inky eyebrows graced his broad forehead, perpetually tanned from outdoor work. Like his parents, Boonie was not a nimble talker, and some made the mistake of thinking that because he could not speak quickly there was something wrong with his mind, but that was not true. In 1910, when Boonie was twenty-seven years old, Japan annexed Korea. The fisherman and his wife, thrifty and hardy peasants, refused to be distracted by the country's incompetent aristocrats and corrupt rulers , who had lost their nation to thieves. When the rent for their house was raised again, the couple moved out of their bedroom and slept in the anteroom near the kitchen to increase the number oflodger s. 5 Min Jin Lee The wooden house they had rented for over three decades was not · shy of five h u ndred square feet. Sliding paper doors divided the 1arge,Just · · mto · mtenor tI1ree snu g rooms , and the fisherman himself had replaced · 1eaky grass roo f with reddish clay tiles to the benefit of his. landlord, its who lived in splendor in a mansion in Busan. Eventually, the kitchen was pushed out to the vegetable garden to make way for the larger cooking pots and the growing number of portable dining tables that hung on pegs along the mortared stone wall. At his father's insistence, Hoonie learned to read and write Korean and Japanese from the village schoolmaster well enough to keep a boardinghouse ledger and to do sums in his head so he couldn't be cheated at the market. When he knew how to do this, his parents pulled him out of school. As an adolescent, Hoonie worked nearly as well as a strong man twice his age with two well-shaped legs; he was dexterous with his hands and could carry heavy loads, but he could not run or walk quickly. Both Hoonie and his father were known in the village for never picking up a cup of wine. The fisherman and his wife raised their surviving son, the neighborhood cripple, to be clever and diligent, because they did not know who would care for him after they died. If it were possible for a man and his wife to share one heart, Hoonie was this steady, beating organ. They had lost their other sons-the youngest to measles and the middle, good-for-nothing one to a goring bull in a pointless accident. Except for school and the market, the old couple kept young Hoonie close by the house, and eventually, as a young man, Hoonie needed to stay home to help his parents. They could not bear to disappoint him; yet they loved him enough not to dote on him. The peasants knew that a spoiled son did more harm to a family than a dead one, and they kept themselves from indulging him too much. Other families in the land were not so fortunate as to have two such sensible parents, and as happens in countries being pillaged by rivals or nature, the weak- the elderly, widows and orphans - were as desperate as ever on the colonized peninsula. For any household that could feed one ~ore, there were multitudes willing to work a full day for a bowl of barl ey nee . 6 e ► PACHINKO In the spring of 1911, two weeks after Hoonie turned twenty-eight, the red-cheeked matchmaker from town called on his mother. Hoonie's mother led the matchmaker to the kitchen; they had to speak in low tones since the boarders were sleeping in the front rooms . It was late morning , and the lodgers who'd fished through the evening had finished their hot suppers, washed up, and gone to bed . Hoonie's mother poured the matchmaker a cup of cold barley tea but didn't break from her own work . Naturally, the mother guessed what the matchmaker wanted, but she couldn't fathom what to say. Hoonie had never asked his parents for a bride . It was unthinkable that a decent family would let their daughter marry someone with deformities, since such things were inevitable in the next generation . She had never seen her son talk to a girl; most village girls avoided the sight of him, and Hoonie would have known enough not to want something he could not have-this forbearance was something that any normal peasant would have accepted about his life and what he was allowed to desire . The matchmaker's funny little face was puffy and pink; black flinty eyes darted intelligently, and she was careful to say only nice things. The woman licked her lips as if she was thirsty; Hoonie's mother felt the woman observing her and every detail of the house, measuring the size of the kitchen with her exacting eyes. The matchmaker, however, would have had great difficulty in reading Hoonie 's mother, a quiet woman who worked from waking until bed, doing what was needed for that day and the next. She rarely went to the market, because there was no time for distracting chatter; she sent Hoonie for the shopping . While the matchmaker talked, Hoonie 's mother's mouth remained unmoving and steady, much like the heavy pine table she was cutting her radishes on. The matchmaker brought it up first. So there was that unfortunate matter of his foot and broken lip, but Hoonie was clearly a good bo yeducated and strong as a pair of oxen! She was blessed to have such a fine son, the matchmaker said. She deprecated her own childr en: Neither of her boys was dedicated to books or commerc e, but they were not 7 Min]inLee terrible boys. Her daughter married too early and lived too far away.All good marriages,the matchmakersupposed, but her sons were lazy.Not like Hoonie.Afterher speech,the matchmakerstared at the olive-skinned womanwhosefacewas immobile,castingabout for any sign of interest. Hoonie's mother kept her head down, handling her sharp knife confi. dently-each cube of radishwas square and certain. When a largemound of white radish cubes formed on the cutting board, she transferred the load in a cleanswipe into a mixingbowl. She was paying such carefulattentionto the matchmaker'stalkingthat privately,Hoonie's mother feared she wouldbeginto shakefromnerves. Beforestepping into the house, the matchmakerhad walked around its perimeterto assessthe financialconditionof the household. From all appearances,the neighborhoodtalkoftheir stablesituationcould be confirmed.In the kitchengarden,ponytailradishes,grownfat and heavyfrom the earlyspring rain, were ready to be pulled from the brown earth. Pollack and squid strung neatly across a long dothesline dried in the lacy spring sun. Beside the outhouse, three black pigs were kept in a clean pen built from local stone and mortar. The matchmakercounted seven chickensand a rooster in the backyard.Their prosperitywas more evident insidethe house. In the kitchen,stacksofriceand souphowlsrestedon well-builtshelves, and braidsofwhite garlicand red chilieshungfromthe lowkitchenrafters. In the comer, near the washbasin,therewas an enormouswovenbasket heapedwithfreshlydug potatoes.The comfortingaromaofbarleyand millet steamingin the blackricepot waftedthroughthe smallhouse. Satisfiedwith the boardinghouse'scomfortablesituationin a country growingsteadilypoorer, the matchmakerwas certain that even Hoonie could havea healthybride, so she plowedahead. The girlwasfromthe other side of the island,beyondthe densewoods. Her father,a tenant farmer,was one of the manywho'd lost his lease as a result of the colonialgovernment'srecent land surveys.The widower, cursed with four girlsand no sons, had nothingto eat exceptfor whatwas gathered from the woods, fish he couldn't sell, or the occasionalcharity from equallyimpoverishedneighbors.The decent fatherhad beggedthe 8 > PACHINKO matchmaker to find grooms for his unmarried daughters, since it was better for virgins to marry anyone than to scrounge for food when men and women were hungry, and virtue was expensive. The girl, Yangjin, was the last of the four girls and the easiest to unload because she was too young to complain, and she'd had the least to eat. Yangjin was fifteen and mild and tender as a newborn calf, the matchmaker said. "No dowry, of course, and surely, the father could not expect much in the way of gifts. Perhaps a few laying hens, cotton cloth for Yangjin's sisters, six or seven sacks of millet to get them through the winter." Hearing no protest at the tally of gifts, the matchmaker grew bolder, "Maybe a goat. Or a small pig. The family has so little, and bride prices have come down so much. The girl wouldn't need any jewelry." The matchmaker laughed a little. With a flick of her thick wrist, Hoonie's mother showered the radish with sea salt. The matchmaker could not have known how hard Hoonie's mother was concentrating and thinking about what the woman wanted. The mother would have given up anything to raise the bride price demanded; Hoonie's mother found herself surprised at the imaginings and hopes rising within her breast, but her face remained collected and private; nevertheless, the matchmaker was no fool. "What I wouldn't give to have a grandson of my own one day," the matchmaker said, making her closing gambit while peering hard at the boardinghouse keeper's creased, brown face. "I have a granddaughter but no grandsons, and the girl cries too much." The matchmaker continued. "I remember holding my first son when he was a baby. How happy I was! He was as white as a basket of fresh rice cakes on New Year's-soft and juicy as warm dough. Tasty enough to take a bite. Well, now he's just a big dolt," feeling the need to add a complaint to her bragging. Hoonie's mother smiled, finally, because the image was almost too vivid for her. What old woman didn't yearn to hold her grandson when such a thought had been inconceivable before this visit? She clenched her teeth to calm herself and picked up the mixing bowl. She shook it to even out the salt. 9 ◄ Min.Jin.Lee ''The girl has a nice face. No pockmarks. She's well mannered and obeys her father and sisters. And not too dark. She's a little thing, but she has strong hands and arms. She'll need to gain some weight, but you understand that. It's been a difficult time for the family." The matchmaker smiled at the basket of potatoes in the corner as if to suggest that here, the girl would be able to eat as much as she wanted . Hoonie 's mother rested the bowl on the counter and turned to her guest. "I'll speak to my husband and son. There's no money for a goat or a pig. We may be able to send some cotton wool with the other things for the winter. I'll have to ask." The bride and groom met on their wedding day, and Yangjin had not been scared by his face. Three people in her village had been born that way. She 'd seen cattle and pigs with the same thing . A girl who lived near her had a strawberry-like growth between her nose and split lip, and the other children called her Strawberry, a name the girl did not mind. When Yangjin's father had told her that her husband would be like Strawberry but also with a crooked leg, she had not cried. He told her that she was a good girl. Hoonie and Yangjin were married so quietly that if the family had not sent out mugwort cakes to the neighbors , they would have been accused of stinginess . Even the boarders were astonished when the bride appeared to serve the morning meal the day following the wedding. When Yangjin became pregnant, she worried that her child would have Hoonie's deformities . Her first child was born with a cleft palate but had good legs. Hoon ie and his parents were not upset when the midwife showed him to them. "Do you mind it?" Hoonie asked her, and she said no, because she did not. When Yangjin was alone with her firstborn , she traced her index finger around the infant's mouth and kissed it; she had never loved anyone as much as her baby. At seven weeks, he died of a fever. Her second baby had a perfect face and good legs, but he, too, died before his baek-il celebration from diarrhea and fever. Her sisters, still unmarried , blamed her weak milk flow and advised her to see a shaman. 10 PACHINKO Hoonie and his parents did not approve of the shaman, but she went without telling them when she was pregnant for the third time. Yet in the midst of her third pregnancy, she felt odd, and Yangjin resigned herself to the possibility that this one, too, may die. She lost her third to smallpox. Her mother-in-law went to the herbalist and brewed her healing teas. Yangjin drank every brown drop in the cup and apologized for the great expense. After each birth, Hoonie went to the market to buy his wife choice seaweed for soup to heal her womb; after each death, he brought her sweet rice cakes still warm from the market and gave them to her: "You have to eat. You must get your strength." Three years after the marriage, Hoonie's father died, then months after, his wife followed. Yangjin's in-laws had never denied her meals or clothing. No one had hit her or criticized her even as she failed to give them a surviving heir. At last, Yangjin gave birth to Sunja, her fourth child and the only girl, and the child thrived; after she turned three, the parents were able to sleep through the night without checking the pallet repeatedly to see if the small form lying beside them was still breathing. Hoonie made his daughter dollies out of corn husks and forsook his tobacco to buy her sweets; the three ate each meal together even though the lodgers wanted Hoonie to eat with them. He loved his child the way his parents had loved him, but he found that he could not deny her anything. Sunja was a normal-looking girl with a quick laugh and bright, but to her father, she was a beauty, and he marveled at her perfection. Few fathers in the world treasured their daughters as much as Hoonie, who seemed to live to make his child smile. In the winter when Sunja was thirteen years old, Hoonie died quietly from tuberculosis. At his burial, Yangjin and her daughter were inconsolable. The next morning, the young widow rose from her pallet and returned to work. 11 Boo K 11 Motherland I thought that no matter how many hills and brooks you crossed, the whole world was Korea and everyone in it was Korean. -Park Wan-suh 2 Е ach morning, Sunja walked to the police station and handed over three onigi,n made with barley and millet. If there was money in the budget for а chicken egg, she'd hard-boil it, soak the peeled egg in vinegary shoyu to supplement Isak's modest bento. No one could Ье sure if the food ever reached him, but she couldn't prove that it didn't. Everyone in the neighЬorhood knew someone who'd gone to jail, and the wildly vary­ ing reports were at best trouhling and at worst terrifying. Yoseb wouldn't speak aЬout Isak, but Isak's aпest had altered him consideraЬly. Patc hes of gray smudged his once jet-Ыack hair, and he suffered from intense stomach cramps. Не stopped writing to his parents, who couldn't Ье told aЬout lsak, so Kyunghee wrote to them instead, making excuses. At meals, Yoseb put aside much of his food for Noa, who sat beside him qui ecly. Yoseb and Noa shared а kind of unspeakahle grief over Isak's aЬsence. Despite numerous personal appeals, no one had been allowed to see lsak but thе f:ami1У Ье1·ieved he ld was alive, because the police had n o t t 0 ' them otherwise • Thе еlder . . . ed • • ail as m1шster and the sexton remaш шJ well, and the famil hо er . У реd that the three of them sustaшed еас h 0th somehow, though nO one knew how the prisoners were b ei. ng h oused • А dау after the arrest' th s е ро1·ice had соте to the house to confiscate Jsak' fiew b ooks and papers T ored; . t i on h m f: е а e • mil er У s ' comшgs and goings w . ce . . а detect1ve li o visited them every е few weeks to ask questions. Т h Р . Padlосkеd thе chur in ch yet thе congregation ecreclY s t e e in to continued ' РлсюNко ollps led Ьу the сl1нгсЬ eldeгs. Kyunghee, Sunja, and Yoseb never small gr l aгi l1ioпeгs Гог fеаг of puttiпg tЬem in dangeг. Ву now, шost of m et t i e p s г i n 11 is oпar:ies back l10111e апd l1ere had returned to tl1eir native tlie fo e g 1 si гie . I \Vas гаге to see а white person in Osaka. Yoseb had written count s t sionaries about lsak but tl1ere'd been no reply. tli e Canadian шis Uпdег coпsideI"aЬle duress, the decision-making autЬoгity of the Pres­ у byterian Сlшгсl1 Ьаd deemed tЬat the mandatory Shinto shrine сеrепюn was а civic duty ratl1er tЬан а religious one even though the Emperoг, the head of tl1e state religion, was viewed as а living deity. Pasto1· Уоо, а faitl1ful апd pragmatic шinister, Ьаd believed that the shrine ceremony, wЬere the to\vпspeople wеге required to gather and perforш rites, was in fact а pagan ritoal drummed up to юuse national feeling. Bowing to idols was natuгally offensivc to tl1e Loгd. Nevertheless, Pastor Уоо had encour­ aged Isak, Hu, анd l1is congregatioп to observe the Shinto bowiпg for the greateг good. Не didп't waпt his parishioпers, many of them new to the faitl1, to Ье sacrificed to the governшeпt's predictahle response to disobe­ dience-pгison апd deatl1. Pastor Уоо found support for sucl1 ideas in tl1e letteгs of tЬе apostle Paul. So wЬenever these gatl1erings at the nearest shrine took place, their freqнency varying from town to town, the elder pastor, Isak, апd Hu had atteпded wl1en necessary along with whoever else was iп tl1e clшrch building at the tiшe. However, with his \-Veakened vision, t11e elder pastor had not kпоwп that at every Shiпto сеrешопу, the sexton Hu Ьаd been шouthing Ош· Fatl1er like an unbrokeп loop even as Ье bowed, spriпkled water, апd clapped his hands like all the otl1ers. Isak had noticed Hu doiпg tl1is, of course, Ьнt had saicl вotЬing. lf aлything, lsak .had admired Hu's faitl1 апd gestнre of resistance. For Suщa, Isak's arrest had forced l1ег to coпside1· wl1at would l1appe11 if the untl1inkaЫe occurred. Woнld Yoseb ask hег авd l1e1· childreп to leave? Wl1ere would she go, ancl lюw woнlcl sl1e get tl1ere? How ,voнld sЬе take с,н·е ofher children? KyungЬee would not ask l1ei- to leave, Ьнt еvеп so­ sl1 e was опlу а wife. Sнща l1ad to lшve а рlап аrн1 шопеу iп case she l1a<-i to retur 11 } 1още to l1er шоtЬеr ,v1t.ll l1ег soпs. So Su�a Ъаd to find work. Sl1e would Ьесоше а peddleг. lt "vas опе MinJinLee to take in �o arders and to wo rk alo ng­ thing fo r а woman like her mother _ o alt gether hшg met d1 o s Ьut fferent fo r а side her husЬand to earn money, arket an� sell food to str�ngers, shout­ yo ung woman to stand iп an o pen � ed to fo rb1d her from gettшg а job, Ьщ ing until sl1e was hoarse. Yoseb tп . down her face, she told mшg strea tears With him. to she co uld not listen to earn m o ney for the Ьоуs' her brother-in-law that Isak wo uld want her schooliпg. То this, Yoseb yielded. Nevertheless, he prohiЬited Кyunghee from working outdoors, and his wife obeyed. Kyunghee was allowed to put up the pickles with Sunja, but she couldn't sell them. Yoseb couldn't protest too much, because the household was desperate for cash. In а way, the two women tried to оЬеу Yoseb in their disobedience-they did not want to hurt Yoseb Ьу defying him, but the financial burdens had Ьесоmе impossiЫe for one mап to bear alone. Her first day of selling took place o ne week after Isak was jailed. After Sunja dropped off Isak's food at the jail, she wheeled а woo den cart hold­ ing а large clay jar ofkimchi to the market. The o pen-air market in Ikaino was а patchwork of modest retail shops selling housewares, cloth, tatami mats, and electric goods, and it hosted а collection o f hawkers like her who pe�dled homemade scallion pancakes, ro lled sushi, and soybean paste. Kyunghee watched Mozasu at home. Nearby the peddlers selling gochujang and doenjang, Sunja noticed two yo ung Korean women selling fried wheat crackers. Sunja pushed her cart toward them, hoping to wedge herselfbetween the cracker stall and the so ybean-paste lady. "You can't stink up o ur area," the o lder ofthe two cracker sellers said. ''Go to the other side." She pointed to the fish section. When Sunja moved closer to the women selling dried anchovies and seaweed, the older Korean women there were even less welcoming. "lf you don't move your slutty-looking cart, Гll have my sons piss iп your pot. Do you understand, country girl?" said а tall woman wearing а white kerchief on her head. Sunja couldn't соте up with а reply d, , because sh.e was so surprise None ofthem were even selling s kimchi, and doenjang could sniell just a pungently. PACНINKO until sl1e couldп't see any more а· '}Ummas and end еd She kept \Yalking r tl1e t1·ai11 station eпti-ance \vl1ere the live chickens were sold. Thе нр 1 1ea , . carcasses overwhelmed her• There was aшmal of k ш fi е а space 1g 1. 11re115 bet\veeп the pig butcher and the ch·1сkens. о Ьеr cart епоUg}1 f г \Vieldiпg ап _eпornюus knife, ajapanese butcher was cutting up а hog 1d. А large bucket filled with its Ыооd rested Ьу his feet. u1e size of а ch1 т\,·о hogs' Ьeads lay on the front tahle. The butcher was an older gentle­ \� ру шaп \ tl1 го , пшscular arms and thick veins. Не was sweating profusely, and }1 е sшiled at her. Sunja parked hег cart in_ the empty lot Ьу his stall. Whenever а train stopped, she could feel its deceleration beneath her sanda1s. Passengers would diseш bark, апd many of them саше into the market from the en­ trance nearby, but поnе stopped in front of her cart. Suщa tried not to cry. Her breasts \Vere l1eavy with milk, and she missed being at home with K}'1.шgl1ee апd Mozasu. She wiped her face with her sleeves, trying to re­ memЬer wЬat the best market ajummas would do back home. •;Кimchi! De1icious kimchi! Try this delicious kimchi, and never make it at hоше again!" she shouted. Passersby tumed to 1ook at her, and Sunja, mortified, looked away frorn them. No one bought anything. After the butcher finished \\11tl1 his hog, he washed his hands and gave her twenty­ five sen, and Sunja filled а container for him. Не didn't seem to mind that she didn't speakjapanese. Не put do\vn the kimchi container Ьу the hogs' heads, then reached behind his stall to take out his bento. The bнtcher placed а piece of kimchi пeatly on top of his \vhite rice with his chopsticks ь· and ate а bite of rice and kimchi in front of' her. "Oishi! Oishi пее! Honto oishi," he said, smiling. She bowed to him. At lunchtime, Kyunghee bгought Mozasu for her to nнrse, апd Sunja remembered that she had по choice Ьнt to recoup the cost of the саЬЬаgе, radish, and spi ces. At the end of the day, she had to show more money than th ey had spent. sed the ЬаЬу \vith 11er body Kyuпghee watched the cart while Sunja nur turпed toward the wall. d -�pd lJe afraid,'' K nghee said. ··You mO\V l10w Гd said that 1 \Vante yu MinJinLee to Ье а kimchi ajumma? 1 don't think I realized what it wou ld feel l'k 1 е to stand here. You're so brave." "What choice do we have?" Sunja said, looking down h аt .er Ьеащ1 fu] ЬаЬу. ''Do you want me to stay here? And wait with you?" "You'l.l get in trouЬle," Sunja said. "You should Ье ho me wh en No а gets back from school, and you have to make dinner• l'm sor I ry can't helР you, Sister." "What I have to do is easy," Kyunghee said. It :was almost two o'clock in the afternoon, and the air felt cooler as the sun turned away froш them. "I'm поt goiпg to соте home until I sell the wholejar." "Really?" Sur�ja nodded. Her ЬаЬу, Mozasu, resemЬled Isak. Не looked nothing like Noa, who was olive-skinned with thick, glossy hair. Noa's bright eyes noticed everything. Except for his mouth, Noa looked almost identical to а young Hansu. At school, Noa sat still during lessons, waited for his turn, and he was praised as an excellent student. Noa had been an easy ЬаЬу, and Mozasu was а happy ЬаЬу, too, delighted to Ье put into а stranger's arms. When she thought about how much she loved her boys, she recalled her parents. Sunja felt so far away from her mother and father. Now she was standing outside а rumЬling train station, trying to sell kimchi. There was по shame in her work, but it couldn't Ье what they'd wanted for her. y, Nevertheless, she felt her parents would have wanted her to make mone especially now. ed i·olls When Sunja finished nursing, Kyunghee put down two sugar and а bottle filled with reconstituted powdered milk оп the cart. , . . 'ght';) Уон "You have to eat, Suщa. You're nursшg, and that s not easy, п have to drink lots of water and milk." • the sliпg 011 Kyunghee turned around so Sunja could tuck Mozasu шtо roгso. · htlу aroun d• l1•ег Kyu nghee's back. Kyunghee secured tl1e ЬаЬу t1g . е home soon, . . . '"1'11 go home and wa1t for Noa and make dшner. You com okay? We're а good team." c!es , , tl1ш oнlda blа sЬ • h е ng s е Kyu n Mozasu's small l1ead rested betwee ◄ РлсюNко tl1em walk away. Wheп tl1ey were out of earshot, Sunja n d Su ja watched ! Delicious Кiшcl1i! Кimchi! Delicious kimchi! Oishi а� ed Out' "Кimchi cr1 , Oi,shi kimchi!" de:511,. sound of her own voice, felt familiar, not because it Tlus sound, the oice but because it rerninded her of all the times sl1e'd gone was her own v girl-first witl1 her father, later Ьу herself as а young to the market as а woman, then as а lover yearniпg fог tЬе gaze of her beloved. ТЬе cho1115 of women hawking had. always been wi.tЬ l1er, and now she'd joined t11em. "Кimchi! Кimchi! Homemade kimcl1i! Tl1e most delicious kimchi in Ikaino! More tasty than your grandшother's! Oishi desu, oishi!" She tried to souпd cheerful, because back home, sl1e had always frequented the nicest ajummas. When the passersby glanced in l1er direction, she bo wed and smiled at them. "Oishi! Oishi!" The pig butcher looked up froш his counter and smiled at her proudly. That evening, Sunja did not go home until she could see the bottoш of ilie kimchi jar. Sunja could sell whatever kimchi she and Kyunghee were аЫе to make now, and tl1is aЬility to sell had given her а kind of strength. If they could've made more kimchi, she felt sure that she could've sold that, too, but fermenting took time, and it wasn't always possiЫe to find the I"ight ingredients. Even when they made а decent profit, the price of cabbages could spike the following week, or worse, they might not Ье availaЫe at all. Wl1en there wеге по cabbages at tl1e market, the woшen pickled radishes, cucumbers, garlic, or chives, and sometimes Kyungl1ee pickled carrots or eggplant without garlic or chili paste, because thejapanese pre­ ferred those kinds of pickles. Sunja thought aЬout land all the time. The little kitchen garden l1er mother had kept bel1ind the house had noш·ished them even wl1en tl1e boardinghouse guests ate douЫe what they paid. The price of fresl1 food kept rising, and working people couldn't afford the most basic things. Recently, some customers would ask to buy а cup ofkimch i because tl1ey couldп't afford a jar of it. lf Suщa had 110 kimchi or pickles to sell, she sold other things. Sur�a roasted sweet potatoes and cl1estnuts; sl1e boiled ears of co1·n. Sl1e hacI .......__ MinJinLu two carts now.' апd she hooked them together like the cars of а t�� one cart witl1 а 111akeshift coal stove and anot her just for pickles. Th e carts took up tl1e better part of the kitchen because they had to k ee them inside the house for fear of them getting stolen. She split the рrof..p its equally with Kyunghee, and Sunja put aside every sen she could fo r the boys' schooling and for their passage back home in case they had to leave. When Mozasu turned five months o.ld, Sunja also started selling candy at the market. Produce had been getting increasingly scarce, and Ьу chance, Kyunghee had obtained two wholesale bags of Ыасk sugar from а Korean grocer whosejapanese brother-in-law worked in the military. At her usual spot Ьу the pork butcher's sta11, Sunja stoked the fire Ьe­ neath the metal bowl used to melt sugar. The steel Ьох that functioned as а stove had been giving her trouhle; as soon as she could afford it, Suщa planned on having а proper stove made up for her cart. She rolled up her sleeves and moved the live coa.ls around to circulate the air and raise the heat. ''Agasshi, do you have kimchi today?" It was а man's voice, and Sunja looked up. AЬout Isak's age, he dressed like her brother-in-law-tidy without drawing much attention to himself. His face was cleanly shaven, and his fingernails were neat. The lenses of his eyeglasses were very thick and ·the heavy frames detracted from hjs good features. "No, sir. No kimchi today. Just candy. It'. s not ready, though." "Oh. When will you have kimchi again?" "Hard to say. There isn't much саЬЬаgе to buy, and the last batcl 1 of kimchi we put up isn't ready yet," Sunja said, and retumed to the coals. "А day or two? А week?" Sunja looked up again, surprised Ьу his insistence. "The kimchi might Ье ready in three days or so. If the weather· conti�� n ues to get warmer, then it might Ье two, sir. But I don't think that so� , Sunja said flatly, hoping he would let her star t with the candy makin�tra111 Sometimes, she sold а few bags to the young women getting . 0 ff tlie at. about this time. PACHINKO cl1i will уон have wh en it's ready?" ·•Но\\. J11L1Ch kim •• I'Il l i a\'e pleпty. to sell у.он . Do. you know how шuch you wantt.... Most . . ost omers l1ke to brшg tl1e1r own containers Н • ow тисh d о you 0 t . 111', ,с н пееd?" Her customers were Korean wom en who workеd ш . f:ас. tlнn k } о ' have t1me to make their ow n banchan Wh • . s and didn t en shе sold torie ers were children and custom you e "J . h n g women• ust stор Ьу ш s r 5 weet , . . 1f ou bпng your own container-" d y th ree a s , and y hed. The yoнng man laug "Well, I was tl1inking that maybe you сап sell me everything you make." Не adjusted his eyeglasses. "You сап't eat th at mнch kimchi! And how would you keep the rest of it fresh?" Sпnja replied, shaking her head at his foolishness. "It's going to Ье summer in а со нрlе of months, and it's hot here already." "l'm so rry. I should have explained. Му паше is Кim Changho, and I manage the yakiniku restaurant right Ьу Tsuruhashi Station. News of your excelleпt kimchi has spread far." Sunja wiped her hands оп the apron that she wore over her padded cotton vest, keeping а close еуе оп the hot coals. "lt's ту sister-in-law who knows what she's doing in the kitchen. ljust sell it and help her make it." "Yes, yes, Гd heard that, too. Well, l'm looking for some women to make all the kimchi and banchan for the restaurant. 1 сап get you саЬЬаgе and-" "Where, sir? W here do you get саЬЬаgе? We looked everywhere. Му sister-in-law goes to the market early iп the morning and still-" "1 can get it," he said, smiling. Suщa didn 't know what to say. The candy-making metal bowl was hot already, and it was time to put in the sugar апd water, but she didn't want t st r t no f o hear h im w. l this persoп was serious, then it was important t o a er fir5t batch of cus­ ощ. She heard the train arrive. She had missed h torners alrea y. d • ?" "WЬ еre's your restaurant аgаш. "lt' 8 th 1g restaurant on the Side street Ь е шd the train station. Оп е the sa wn Ьу the skiпnv те street as the pharmacy-you krюw, th е one O ed ь· . ь· Min]inLee Japanese phannacist, Okada-san? Не wears Ыасk glasses like mine?" Не pushed his glasses up on his nose again and smiled like а Ьоу. • "Oh, I know where the рhannacy 1s." This was the shop where all the Koreans went when they were really sick and were willing to рау for good medicine. Okada was �ot а friendly man, but he was honest; he was reputed to Ье аЫе to cure many ailments. The young man didn't seem like anyone who was trying to take advan­ tage of her, but she couldn 't Ье sure. In the few short months working as а vendor, she'd given credit to а few customers and had not been repaid. People were willing to lie aЬout small things and to disregard your inter­ ests. Кim Changho gave her а business card. "Here's the address. Can you bring your kimchi when it's done? Bring all of it. I'll рау you in cash, and l'll get you more cabbage." Sunja nodded, not saying anything. If she had only one customer for the lcimchi, then she'd have more time to make other things to sell. The hardest part had been procuring the саЬЬаgе, so if this man could do that, then the work would Ье much easier. Kyunghee had been scouring the market with Mozasu on her back to track down these scarce ingredients and often returned home with а light market basket. Sunja promised to bring him what she had. The restaurant was the largest storefront on the short side street parallel to the train station. Unlike the other businesses nearby, its sign was let­ tered handsomely Ьу а professional sign maker. The two women admired the large Ыасk letters carved and painted into а vast wooden plaque. They wondered what the words meant. It was obviously а Korean galbi house­ the scent of grilled meat could Ье detected from two Ыocks away-but the sign had difficultjapanese lettering that neither of them could read. Sunja grasped the handlebar of the carts loaded with all the kimchi they'd put up in the past few weeks and took а deep breath. If the kimchi sales to the restaurant were steady, they'd have а regular income. She could buy r eggs more often for Isak's and Noa's meals and get heavy wool cloth fo Kyunghee, who wanted to sew new coats for Yoseb and Noa. 4 Мау 1942 N оа Baek was not like the other eight-year-olds in the neighborhood. Each morning before he went to school, he'd scrub his face until his cheeks were pink, smooth three drops of oil on his Ыасk hair, then comb it away from his forehead as his mother had taught him to do. After а break­ fast of barley porridge and miso soup, he'd rinse his mouth and check his white teeth in the small round hand mirror Ьу the sink. No matter how tired his mother was, she made certain that Noa's shirts were ironed the night before. ln his clean, pressed clothes, Noa looked like а middle-class Japanese child from а wealthier part of town, bearing no resemЬlance to the unwasl1ed ghetto children outside his door. At school, Noa was strong in both arithmetic and writing, and he sur­ prised the gym teacher with his adept hand-eye coordination and running speed. Aft er classes ended he tidied the shelves and swept the classrooш ' floors w ithout being asked and walked home alone, trying not to draw any undue at tention to himself. The Ьоу managed to look unafrai� of th.e tougher ch ildren while setting himself apart with а perimeter of qшet рп ­ vасу that y could not Ье disturbed. When he got h ome, Noa went directl. . 1tl1 lnto thе . house to do his schoolwork w1tho • . on t he street w вt 1·шgenng the nei• g hborhood children who played until dinnerti• me. е When h'1s mother and aunt moved the kim . cь·i-making bвsiness to th . саЬЬ ag.e restaur ащ, the house no longer smelled relent 1 ess1У offel'm e ntш.g • 1g.. 111 1 пуt and pi. c а If rd kles. Noa hoped he'd no longer Ье called gaI"1·ic tt1 MinJinLee cooking th.an the others in the neighbor­ lately, tl1eiг lюuse smelled less of brought home cooked food from the lюod, because 11 is mother and aunt а week, Noa got to eat tidbits of restaurant for their family meals. Once rant. grilled meat and white rice from the restau Like all children, Noa kept secrets, but his were not ordinary o nes. At school, he went Ьу his Japanese name, Nobuo Boku, rather than Noa Baek; and though everyone in his c1ass knew he was Korean from his Ja­ panized surname, ifl1e met anyone who didn't know this fact, Noa wasn't forthcoming about this detail. Не spoke and wrote better Japanese than nюst native children. Iп class, he dreaded the mention of the peninsula where his parents were born and would look down at his papers if the teacher mentioned anything about the colony of Korea. Noa's other se­ cret: His father, а Protestant minister, was in jail and had. not been home in over two years. The Ьоу tried to remember his father's face, but couldn't. When asked to tell family stories for class assignments, Noa would say that his father worked as а foreman at а. biscuit factory, and if some children infeпed that Uncle Yoseb was his father, Noa didn't correct them. The big secret that he kept from his mother, aunt, and even his Ьeloved uncle was that Noa did not believe in God anymore. God had allowed his gende, kindhearted father to go tojail even though he had done nothing wrong. For two years, God had not answered Noa's prayers, though his father had promised him that God listens very carefully to the prayers of children. АЬоvе all the other secrets that Noa could not speak of, the Ьоу wanted to Ье Japanese; it was his dream to leave lkaino and never to return. It was а late spring afternoon; Nоа returned home from school and fонвd iin his snack, left out Ьу his mother before she went to work, waiti ng for h on the low tahle where the family his ate their meals and where Noa did homework. Thirsty, he went to eп the kitchen to get some water, and wh he retumed to the front room, as а he screamed. N ear the door, tl1ei·e w gaunt and filthy man collapsed on the floor. UnaЫe to rise, the man leaned crook of e tl1 п о torso the weight his of . his left elhow and tried to pus h up to sitting, but couldn't maвage it. PACНINKO • PN ou h scream аg аш . о а wondered. Who would help him? His Sh l d e r u and uncle we re at work, and no one had heard him the mothe , a nt, time. The beggar didn't seem dangerous; he Iooked ill and dir ty, u b t first h ie а too v t . Uncle had warned Noa aЬout burglars and f, he could' e been v w i thie es ho could break nto the house looking for food or valuaЬles. Не had fifty sen in his trouser pocket; he'd been saving it for an illustrated book on archery. The man was sobbing now, and Noa felt bad for him. There were many poor people on his street, but no one looked as bad as this man. The beggar's face was covered with sores and Ыасk scaЬs. Noa reached into his pocket and pulle d out the coin. Afraid that the man might graЬ h is leg, Noa stepped just close enough to place the coin on the floor near the man's hand. Noa planned to walk backward to the kitchen and run out the back door to get help, but the man's crying made him pause. The Ьоу looked carefully at the man's gray-bearded face. His clothes were torn and grimy but the shape of them resemЬle d the dark suits that his principal at school wore. '�lt's арра," the man said. Noa gasped and shook his head no. "Where's your mother, child?" It was his voice. Noa took а step forward. "Umma's at the restaurant," Noa replied. "Where?" Isak was confused. '�l'll go now. l'll get итта. Are you okay?" The Ьоу didn't know what to do exactly. Не was still а Ьit afraid, though it was certainly his father. The gentle eyes beneath the jutting cheekЬones and scaly skin were the same. Perhaps his father was hungry. His shoulder bones and elbows e looked like sharp tree branches beneath his clothing. "Do you want to at something, арра?" him: two rice balls Noa pointed to the snack his mother had left for rnade from barley and millet. lsak shook his head, smiling at the boy's concern. "Аga-can you get me some water?" MinJinLee WI 1 en Noa returned with the сир of cold water from the kitchen, he found his father slumped to the grou nd with his eyes closed. "Арра! Арра! Wake up! 1 have your water! Drink your water, арра," Noa cried. Isak's eyes fluttered open; he smile d at the sight of the Ьоу. "Арра is tired, Noa. Арра is going to sleep." "Арра, drink your water." The Ьоу held out the сир. Isak raised his head and took а long drink, then closed his eyes again. Noa bent over, close to his father's mouth, to check his breathing. Не retrieved his own pillow and tucked it beneath lsak's bushy gray head. Не � covered him with the heavy quilt and closed the front door behind him quietly. Noa ran to the restaurant as fast as he could. Не burst into the dining room, but no one in the front area noticed him. None of the grown men working there minded the well-mannered Ьоу who never said much beyond yes and no. The toddler, Mozasu, was sleeping in the storage room; when awake, the two-year-old tore through the dining room, but asleep, he looked like а statue of an angel. The manager, Кim, never complained aЬout Sunja's children. Не bought toys and comic books for the boys and occasionally watched Mozasu while he worked in the back office. "Uh-muh." Kyunghee looked up from her work, alaпned at the sight of Noa, breathless and pale, in the kitchen. "You 're sweating. Are you okay? We'll Ье done soon. Are you hungry?" She got up from her crouchingpo­ sition to fix him something to eat, thinking he'd соте Ьу because he was lonesome. "Арра came home. Не looks sick. He's sleeping on the floor at hоше." Sunja, who'd been quiet, waiting for Noa to speak up, wiped her wet hands on her apron. "Can I go? Can we leave now?" She'd never left early before. "1'11 stay here and finish. Y ou go. Hurry. Гll Ье right tl1eI"e after Гш done." Sunja reached for Noa's hand. * * * Hal",,ay do,,vп the street, Sunja shouted, ''Mozasu!" and Noa looked up at l1er. ··Umma� Aunt \t\гil1 briпg him hоше," he said calmly. She clutcl1ed l1is hand tighter апd walked briskly toward the house. ··You ease my mind, Noa. Уон ease шу mind." V\"itlюнt the others around, it was possiЬle to Ье kind to her son. Par­ eнts ,,,еrеп 't supposed to praise their children, she knew this-it would 01 11,, iш'ite disaster. But l1er fatl1er Ьаd always told her when she had do ne soшetl1iпg ,.vell; out o f haЬit, he would touch the crown of her head or pat her back, еvеп ,vhen she did nothing at all. Any other parent might've Ьееп cЬided Ьу the neighbors for spoiling а daughter, but no one said r anytl1iпg to her crippled father, who ma veled a,t his child's symmetrica1 features апd normal limbs. Не. took pleasure in just watching her walk, talk, and do siшple sums in her Ьеаd. Now that he was gone, Sunja held on to her father's warmth and kind words like polished gems. No one should expect praise, and certainly not а woman, but as а little girl, she'd Ьееп treasured, notliing less. Sl1e'd been her father's delight. She wanted Noa to krюw ,vhat that was like, and she thanked God with everv' Ьit ofher being for l1er boys. On tЬе days when it felt iшpossiЬle to live another day in her husband's brother's hoнse-to work through the whole day a11d night, then to \>vake up again before the sun to start again, to go to the jail and hand over а meal for her husband-Sunja thought of her .father, ,vho had пever said а cross ,,,ord to her. Не had taught her that chi1dren \vere а delight, that her boys were her delight. "Did арра look very iП?" Sunja asked. '1 didn't know it was him. Арра was usually so clean and nicely dressed, пее?" Sunja nodded, having told herself long ago to expect ilie ,vorst. The elders in her churcl1 had warned l1er that the Korean prisoners \vere usн­ ally sent hоше just as they were aЬout to die, so that tl1ey woнld not clie iл jail. The prisoners were beaten, starved, and made to go withoнt clothing t � weaken them. Just that morning, Sunja had gone to the jail to drop off his rneal апd this week's clean set of underslurts. B1·other had been rig l1t th en; her husband must not have received any of these tllings. As she апd MinJinLee , oblivious to the crowds, it occurred to Noa walked down the busy street prepare her son for Isak's retum. If any­ her that she'd never thought to g for his death Ьу �orkin� and saving thing, she had. been so busy preparin what the Ьоу rmght think of his fa­ money that she had not thought aЬout so sorry for not having tol d him ther's retum, or worse, his death. She felt k ,vhat to expect. It must have been а terriЬle shoc for Noa. "Did you eat your snack today?" she asked him, not knowing what else to say. "I left it for а-рра." They passed а small throng of unifoпned students streaming out of а confectionery, eating their treats happily. Noa looked down, but didn't let go of his nюther's hand. Не knew the children, but none were his friends. "Оо you have homework?" "Yes, but Гll do it when I get home, итта." "You never give me any trouble," she said, feeling his five perfect fin­ gers in hers, and she felt grateful for his sturdiness. Sunja opened the door slowly. Isak was on the floor, sleeping. She knelt Ьу his head. Dark, mottled skin stretched across his еуе sockets and high cheekЬones. His hair and beard were nearly white; he looked years older than his brother, Yoseb. Не was no longer the beautiful young man who had rescued her from disgrace. Sunja removed his shoes and peeled off his holey socks. Dried crusts ofЫood covered his cracked, raw soles. The last toe on his left foot had turned Ыасk. "Umma," Noa said. "Yes." She turned to him. "Should I getUncle?" "Yes." She nodded, trying not to cry. "Shimamura-san may not let l1iП1 leave early, Noa. IfUncle can't leave , tel1 him that Гm with him . We don't wantUncle to get in trouЬle at wo rk. Okay?" Noa ran out of the house, not bothe ring to slide the door fully shut, and . the incoming breeze woke lsak; he opened his eyes to see l1is wife sitting next to him. "УоЬо," he said. PACНINKO Sшi.J·a вodcled. ""Уон'ге l10111e. We're so glad you're hоше." Не smiled. Т}1е oпce-straight white teeth were either Ыасk or rnissiпg-tl1e lo\.veг set cracked off entirely. •Уон'vе sнffered so шuch." -'The sextoп апd the pastor died yesterday. I shoнld've died а Iong time ago? Sunja shook l1er Ьеаd, unable to speak. "l'ш hоше. Every day, I iшagined this. Every minute. МауЬе that's why I ат ]1ere. Ho\v l1ard it шнst have been for you," he said, Iooking at her kiпdly. Sш�а shook l1er head. по, wiping her face with her sleeve. Tl1e Коrеап апd Chinese girls who worked at the factory smiled at tl1e sight of Noa. The delicioнs scent of fresbly baked wheat biscuits greeted l1iш. А girl packing Ьiscuit boxes nеаг the door whispered in Korean how tall he was getting. She pointed to his uncle's back. Не was crouched оvег the шotor of the Ьiscuit machine. The factory floor was long апd narrow, designed like а wide tunnel for the easy inspection of workers; the owner had set up the imposing Ьiscuit machine Ьу his of­ fice with the conveyor belts шoving toward the workers, who stood in paralle] rows. Yoseb wore safety goggles and was pokiпg aЬout inside the service рапеl with а pair of pliers. Не was the foreman and the fac­ tory mechanic. The din of the heavy machine Ьlocked out normal speaking voices. Tl1e girls weren't supposed to talk оп tl1e factory floor, but it \vas neaгly impossiЫe to catch them if they whispered and made minima1 facial gestures. Forty unmarried girls, hired for theiг niшЫе fiпgers апd gen­ eral tidiness, packed twenty thin wheat biscuits into wooden boxes that would Ье shipped to аrшу officers stationed in Cl1ina. For every two broken Ьiscuits, а girl was fined а sen froш her wages, forcing 11er to Work carefully as well as swiftly. If sЬе ate even а bгoken coгner of а biscuit, she'd Ье terminated in1111ediately. At the end of the day, the youngest girl gathered the broken biscнits into а fabric-liвed basket, to th e market to sell packed theш into small bags, апd was seпt онt Mi1i]in Lee sell, Shimamura sold the biscuits for tlieш at а discount. If tЬеу didn't ed the most boxes without er­ а rюшiпаl aшount to the girls who pack , because the girls made so ror. Yoseb never took broken Ьiscuits home so much to them. little шопеу, and even the Ьiscuit crumbs meant Shimamura, the owner, was sitting in his glassed-in office, the siz e of а utility closet. The plate glass window allowed him to check the girls' work. If he found anything amiss, he'd call Yoseb in and tel1 him to give the girl а warning. On the second warning, the girl was sent home witl1out рау еvеп if sl1e'd worked for six days. Shimamura kept а Ыuе, cloth-bound ledger with warnings listed next to the names of the girls, written in his beautiful h and-lettering. His foreman, Yoseb, disliked punis hing the girls, and Shimamura viewed this as yet another ехашрlе of Korean weakness. The factory owner believed th at if all Asian countries were run with а kind of Japanese efficiency, attention to detail, and high level of organization, Asia as а whole would prosper and rise-aЬle to defeat the unscrupulous West. Shimamura believed he was а fair person with perhaps а too-soft heart, w hich explained why he hired foreigners when many of his friends wouldn't. W h en they pointed to the slovenly nature of foreigners, he argued how could the foreigners ever learn unless the Japanese taugh t them to loathe incompetence and sloth . Shimamura felt that standards must Ье maintained for posterity's sake. Noa had been inside the factory only once, and Shimamura had not been pleased then. AЬout а year ago, Kyunghee was sick with а higl1 fever and had fainted in the market, and Noa was sent to fetch Yoseb. Shi­ mamura had reluctantly allowed Yoseb to attend to his wife. The next morning, he explained toYoseb that there would Ье no repeat of tl1is inci­ dent. How could he, Shimamura asked, run two machine-based factories without the presence of а competent mech anic? IfYoseb's wife were to ge t sick again, she would have to rely on а neighbor or family member; Yoseb could not just leave the factory in the middle of the day. The Ьiscнits were war orders, and they had to Ье met promptly. Men were risking t.heir lives fighting for their country; each family must make sacrifices. So when Shimamura spotted tl1e Ьоу again, опlу а уею· afte1· t11at нн- PACHINKO c aЬ speech that he had not wanted to . make, hе was funo corn••ort le us. Не . d ews p 111s pap n er, n pret e endi ng o not to see the Ьоу taрршg • his sпаPpe ower back. u11Cl e's I Noa's light t ouch, tumed around. Yoseb, startl ed Ьу "Uh-mиh, Noa, what are you doing here?" "Appa's home." "Really?" "Сап you соте home now?" Noa asked. His mouth made а small red О. Yoseb reшoved his goggles and sighed. Noa closed his mou th and loo ked down. His uncle would have to get permission, tl1e way his mother had to ask Aunt Kyunghee or Mr. Кim­ the same way he had to ask his teacher to go to the bathroom. Sometimes, when it was sunny outside, Noa dreamed of not telling anyone and going ю Osak.a Вау. He'd been there once with his father on а Sat urday after­ noon when l1e was very small, and he always thought it would Ье nice to go back. "ls he all right?" Yoseb studied Noa's expression. "Appa's l1air turned gray. He's very dirty. Umma's with him. She said if you can't соте, it's okay, b ut she wanted you to know. То know that а,рра is h ome now." "Yes, that's right. l'm glad to know." Yoseb glanced at Shimamura, who was holding up his newspaper, pre­ tending to read, but was по doubt watching him very carefully. His boss would never allow him to go home now. Also, unlike when Kyunghee fainted, Shimamu ra knew Isak had go ne to jail becau se the sexton had re­ fused to observe the Shinto ceremo ny. Periodically, the police came Ьу to question Yoseb as well as to speak with Shimamura, who defended Yoseb as а model Korean. If he left, Yoseb would lose his job, and if the police picked him up for questioning, he would lose his character reference. "Listen, Noa, work will Ье done in less than three hours, and then af­ terwards, 1'11 hurry home. It's irresponsiЫe for me to leave now without finishing my work. As soon as Гm done, I'll run home faster than you can run. Tel1 your итта that 1'11 соте home right away. And if your ар,ра asks, tel1 him that Brother will Ье there very soo n." MinJinLee Noa nodded, not understanding why Uncle was crying. ''1 l1ave to finish, Noa, so you run home. Okay?" Yoseb put on his safety goggles and turned around. N оа nюved quickly toward the entrance. The sweet scent of Ьiscuits wafted out the door. The Ьоу had never eaten one of those Ьiscuits, never l1avi11g asked for one. 5 N оа burst through the doors of the house, his head and heart pound­ ing from tЬе breathless run. Gulping in deep lungfuls of air, he told his mother, "Uncle can't leave work." Sunja nodded, having expected this. She was bathing Isak with а wet towel. lsak's eyes were closed but his chest rose and fell slightly, punctuated now and then Ьу а series of painful coughs. А light Ьlanket covered his long legs. Ridges of scar tissue furrowed diagonally across lsak's shoul­ ders and discolored torso, mak.ing haphazard diamond-shaped intersec­ tions. Every time Isak coughed, his neck flushed red. Nоа approached his father quietly. ''No, по. Move back," Sunja said sternly. '"Арра is very sick. Не has а bad cold." She pulled the Ыanket up to Isak's shoulders, though she wasn't nearly finished with cleaning him. In spite of the strong soap and several changes of basin water, his body emitted а sour stench; пits clung to his hair and beard. lsak had been alert for а few moшents, his violent coughs waking him, but now w hen he opened his eyes, he didn't say anytЬing, and wЬen l1e looked at her, he didn't seem to recognize Ьеr. he earest lюs­ Sur�a changed tЬе compress on lsak's feverisl1 l1ea d. T п _ move lнm Ьу pital was а lon g trolley ride away, and even if sl1e could Min]inLee t ensure that а doc tor would see him. lf l1erself, an all-ш· ght wait wouldn' to • to the kimchi cart and whe el hun the trolley stop ' sl1e could tuck h•1m ш car, but then what would she do with sl1 е could poss1 У get him into the through the trolley doo r. Noa might Ье tl1 e cart itself ? It wouldn't pass would she get Isak from the stop аЬlе t.o push it back home, but then how t if the driver wouldn't let them to the ll ospital without the cart? And wha the trolley driver asking а sick board? More than once, she'd witnessed woman or man to get off. Noa sat Ьу his father's legs to keep away from his coug hing. Не felt an urge to pat his father's sharp knee bone-to touch him, to make sure Ье ,vas real. The Ьоу pulled out his notebook from his satchel to do his lюmework, keeping close watch on Isak's breathing. ·ь� "Noa, you have to put your shoes back on. Go to the drugstore and ask Pharmacist Kong to соте. Сап you tеП him that it's important-that итта will рау him douЬle?" Sunja decided that if the Korean phaпnacist wouldn't соте, she'd ask Kyunghee to plead with the Japanese phaпna­ cist to come Ьу the house, though that was unlikely. The Ьоу got up and left without а murmur. She could hear him running down the street in his even, rapid steps. Sunja wrung out the hand towel she was using to bathe Isak. аЬоvе the brass basin. Fresh welts from recent beatings and а nu.mber of older scars covered his wide, bony back . She felt sick as she washed his dark and bruised fi-ame. There was по one as good as Isak. He'd tried to under­ stand her, to respect her feelings; he'd never once brought up l1er shame. He'd comforted her patiendy when she'd lost the preg nancies between Noa and Mozasu. Finally, when she gave birth to theiг son, he'd been verjo yed, but she'd been too worried aЬout how they'd survive \vith so � little money to feel his happiness. Now that he was back l1 оше to die, what did money matter, anyway? She should've done moI"e foI" l1im; sl1 e �hould've tried to know him the way he had tried to know l1 e1·; and ПО\\' it was over. Even with his gashed and emaciated frame, his beauty was remarkaЬle. Не was thе oppos • 1te оf her, really; where sl1e was t 1сk ап· d short, he was slender and lon g-limbed-even his torn-up feet w еге ,..vell shaped. If her eyes were small and anxious, his were large аш.i full of" ас- ь· РлсюNко е. Tl1e l)asiн \Vate1· \vas 1юw gray, and Sнnja got up to change it серtанс аgан 1. . . \vearш Sшua savv g fanner pants авd walking away Не нр. ke \\·o Isak Не called онt to her: "'УоЬо," Ьнt she didn't turn around. Не felt from liirн. k1ю\ v l10w to raise l1is voice. lt was as if 11is voice was dying like lie didв't "vas alive. ,vliile }1is miп d --УоЬо/· Isak шншЫеd, апсl he reacЬed for her, but she was almost in the kitcl1 eн already. Не vvas in Yoseb's house in Osaka . This had to Ье true because l1e \\·as: in fact, waking from а dream where he \\ as а Ьоу. I.n tl1e dream, Isak l1ad Ьееп sitting on а lo\v boнgl1 uf the chestnut tree iл his child­ 1 liood gardeп; the scent of the chestпut Ыossoms still lingered in his nose. It \vas like шапу of tЬе dreams he'd l1acl in prison where, while he dreaшed, J1e was a\vare that t11e dreaш itself \Vasn't real . In real life, he'd never been оп а tree. vVl1en he \Vas youпg, tl1e family gardener would prop him below th. at very tree to get some fresl1 air, but he'd never been strong enough to climb it tl1e \vay УоsеЬ could. The gardener used to cal1 Yoseb �'Monkey.'' ln the dreaш, lsak \vas lшgging the tl1ick braпches tightly, нnаЫе to break from the еmЬгасе of tl1e dark green foliage, tl1e clusters of white Ьlossoms witl1 their dark piвk hearts. From the house, cheerful voices of tl-1e wошеп called to l1iш. Не \vaпted to see his old nursemaid and his sister, thougl1 they had . died уеагs .tgo; iп the dream, they "vere laughiпg like girls. "YolJO-" '' U/1-mu/1." She рнt dowп the washbasin at tl1e tl1res}юld of й1е kitcl1eп and rusl1ec.l l)ack to l1im. ''Are yot1 all right? Сап 1 get you something?" "Му wife," lн: said slowly. ''How have you Ьееп?" lsak felt drowsy a11 d uncertai11, Ьнt relieved. Stщja's face \vas different than l1e reшeшbered-a littJe older, шоrе weary. "How you шust've stn1ggled l1ere. 1 аш so sorry.�' "Sl1hh-you rnttst rest," sl1e said . "Noa." Не sai (l tl1e boy's паше like l1e reюembered soшetЬing good. "Where is he? Не was l1ere before." "Не weпt to fetcl1 the pl1armacist." "Не looks so l1 ealtl1y. Апсl brigl1t." It was Ьar(l to get tl1e ,vords out, but his min d felt clear sttd (lenly, and ]1 е waнted to tel1 Ьеr tl1e tl1ings ]1e'cl been saving up for· l1 er. MinJinLee J "You're working at а restaurant now? Are you cooking there?" Isak began to cough and couldn't stop. Pindots of Ыооd splattered on her Ьlouse, and she wiped his mouth with а towel. W hen he tried to sit up, she placed her left hand beneath his head and her right over his chest to calm him, fearful that he might hurt himself. The coughs wracked his body. His slcin felt hot even through the Ыankets. "Please rest. Later. We сап talk later." Не shook his head. "No, no. I-I want to tel1 you something." Sunja rested her hands on her lap. "Му life wasn't important," he said, trying to read her eyes, so full of anguish and exhaustion. Не needed her to understand that he was thank.­ ful to her-for waiting for 1tim, for taking care of the family. It humЬled him to tl1ink of her laboring and earning money for their family when he wasn't аЫе to support them. Money must've been very hard with him gone and with inflation &om the war. The prison guards had complained incessantly of the prices of things-no one had enough to eat, they said. Quit compшining about the bugs in the gruel. Isak had prayed constandy for his family's provision. "1 brought you here and made your life more difficult." She smiled at him, not knowing how to say-you saved те. lnstead, she said, "You must get well." Sunja covered him with а thicker Ыanket; his body was burning hot, but he shivered. "For the boys, please get well." How сап/ raise them withoutyou? "Mozasu-where is he?" "At the restaurant with Sister. Our boss lets him stay there while we work." Isak looked alert and attentive, as if all his pain had vanished; he wanted to know more aЬout his boys. "Mozasu," Isak said, smiling. "Mozasu. Не saved his people fi·on1 slav• еуes ery-" lsak's head throbbed so intensely that he had to close l 115 again. Не wanted to see his two sons grow up, finish school, апсl get e married. lsak had never wanted to live so much, and now, just wheн h 1 hav e wanted to live until he was very old, he'd been sent hоше to diе. " PACНINKO s '' l1e said. '"1 l1ave two sons. Noa and Mozasu. Мау tl1e Lord t,vo s он ' '' bless ту sons. are ll i Sш ja "vatched him c fu y. His face looked strange, yet peaceful. Not kno"гiпg ,v hat else to do, sl1e kept talking. •·Mozasu is becoming а Ьig boy-always happy and friendly. Не has а se e е ere. So fast!" She pumped her arms to wonderful laugh. Н run v rywh iпutate tl1e toddler's running, and she found herself laughing, and he laнghed, too. It occuпed to .her then that there was only one oth er person iп the ,vorld who'd want to hear aЬout Mozasu growing up so well, and uпtil пo"vv, sl1e'd forgotten that sl1e could express а pridefuljoy in her boys. Е,,ен "vЬen Ьеr brother- and sister-in-law were pleased with the children, slie couldn't ignore their sadness at their lack; sometimes, she wante d to hide l1er delight from them for fear that it could Ье seen as а kind ofboasting. Back hоше, having two healthy and good sons \Vas tantamount to having vast ricl1es. Sl1e had по home , no пюnеу, but she had Noa and Mozasu. lsak's eyes opened, and he looked at the ceiling. ''1 can't go until I see tl1eш, Lord. Until I se e my children to Ыess them. Lord, let me not go-" Sш�а bowed her l1ead, and she prayed, too. lsak closed his eyes again, his shoulders twitching iп pain. Sнnja placed l1er right hand on his chest to check his faint breathing. Tl1e door opened, and as expected, Noa had returned l1оше alone. The pl1armacist couldn't come no"v but promised to come later toпight. The Ьоу returned to his spot Ьу lsak's feet and did his sшns while his father slept. Noa wanted to sl1ow Isak l1is schoolwork; еvеп Hoshii-sensei, tlie liardest teacher in his grade, told Noa that he was good at writing his let­ ters and tЬat l1e sliould work l1ard to improve l1is illiterate [асе: "Опе. industrious Ko1·ean сап inspire ten thoнsaвd to reject tl1eir lazy паtнrе!" lsak coпtinued to sleep, авd Noa coпcentrated оп liis ,voгk. Later, whea Kyu nghee arrived home wiili Mozasн, tl1e l1oнse felt lively for the fiist tiшe since Isak's arrest. lsak woke briefly to see Mozasu wlю didn't cry at t11e sig11t of the skeletal man. Mozasн called l1in1 ''Рара" and patted l1is face witl·1 ЬоtЬ liaпds, tl1e way Ье did ,vl1e11 l1e liked someoнe. With his white, сlшЬЬ l1aпds, Mozast1 шаdе little pats оп lsak's sш1ke11 у MinJinLee still in front of him briefly, but as soon as Isak cl1ee k s. Thе t0ddler sat . eyes, Kyunghee removed him, not wanting the ЬаЬу to get sic k. closed h1s house grew somb er again, because WЪen Yoseb returned home, the us. Yoseb wouldn't ignore the obvio ing hard at Isak's body. "How could they?" Yoseb said, star what they wanted to hear? "М у Ьоу, couldn't you just tel1 them 'f . . eror e ven 1 1t 1sn't true? Couldn't you just say you worshippe d the Emp e?" Don't you know that the most important thin g is to stay aliv Isak opened his eyes but said nothing and closed his eyes again. His eyelids felt so heavy that it was painful to keep th.em open. Не wanted to speak with Yoseb, but the words would not соте out. Kyunghee brought l1er husband а pair of scissors, а long razor Ыаdе, а сир of oil, and а basin of vinegar. "The nits and lice won't die. Не should Ье shaved. lt must Ье so itchy for him," she said, her eyes wet. Grateful to his wife for giving him something to do, Yoseb rolled up his sleeves, then poured the cup of oil over lsak's h ead, m.assaging it into his scalp. "lsak-ah, don't move," Yoseb said, trying to keep his voice noпnal. "Гm going to get rid of all these itchy bastards." Yoseb made clean strokes across Isak's head and thre w the cut hair into the metal basin. "Yah-Isak-ah." Yoseb smiled at the memory. "You rememb eг how the gardener used to cut our hair when we were kids? I used to holleI" like а crazy animal but you never did. You sat there like а ЬаЬу шonk, calПl and peaceful, and you never once complained." Yose gi·e,v qнiet, ,vant­ b ing what he saw in front of him not to Ье trнe. "lsak-ah, "rhy did I b1·iнg уо to this hell? 1 was so lonesome for у o � он. 1 was "vгong, уон k .noщ t b ng уон here, and now Гш punishe � d fo1· my selfishne ss." Yoseb i·esteti _ h1s Ыаdе ш the basin. "1 will not Ье all right if you die. Do you understaпd? Уо н саш1оt die, ту Ьоу. Isak-ah, please don't die. How l can I go он? Wl1at ,vill I te1 онг parents?" lsak continued to sleep, obl' v • • р.\· ll"t • f-.аш1·1 у епс1r r юнs to I11s · с1·шg l нs .. • PACНINKO v1 105 eb "viped his eyes a11 d shut l1is mouth, clampi'ng w do n on 1н· s Jaw · s. ade the b� again, working steadily to take Не picked up off the bits o f gray lн s h o e n ad. g When Isak's head was smooth, Yoseb poured l iair remainiп oil over his brother' s beard . For tl1e remюn der of the evening, Yoseb, Kyunghee, and Suчj a rid him of nits апd lice, droppiпg the bugs into j ars o f kerosene, o nly stopping to put tl1e boys to be d . Late r, tl1e pharmacist came to tel1 them what they al­ ready k.ne\v. Tl1 ere was no thing а hospital or а doctor could do for Isak now. At da"''n, Yo seb returned to work. Sunj a remamed with Isak, and Kyungl1ee weпt to the restaurant. Yose b didn't bother complюning aЬout Kyunghe e going to work alo n e . Не was too tired to argue, and the wages ,vere badly needed. Outside the house, the street was filled witli the rno m­ ing bustling o f men and women heading to work an d children runrung to school. Isak slept in the front roo rn, his breathing fast and shallow. Не was clean and smoo th like an in fant-all the hюr frorn his body shaved. After N оа fiпished breakfast, he laid down his chopsticks neatly and looked up a t his rno ther. '' Umma, rnay I s tay home?" he asked, never having dared to ask for such а thing, еvеп when things were awful at sclю ol. Suпja l ooke d up from her sewi ng, surprised . "Are you feeling ill?" Не shook his head. lsak, wlю was half-awake, l1 ad he ard the boy's request. 1 ' No a-" "Yes, арра." • g а fine schоlar." "Итта to ld me that you 're Ьecomш Th e child beamed but, out of haЬit, looke d dow n at his feet. r. When Noa received high marks in sclюol, he thought first of his fa�e Yoseb l·aad told the Ьоу several tiшes that his father had Ьееn а prodigy, Chinese, and J apanese from i hav ng taught himself Korean, Classical • • k had alЬ00ks w1· th scant tuto ring. Ву the t1ше hе wen t t ° serninary.' Isa ready rea d the ВiЫе several times . MinJinLee that his father was а lea rned man ing ow kn lt , cu d"ffi 1 1 t с 1 1е оо h sc hen W leam. l1ad strengthened the boy's resolve to "Noa." "Yes, арра?" а Ьоу, 1 wanted to go to ''You шust go to school today. When I was school with the other children very much." er before. The Ьоу nodded, having heard this detail aЬout his fath to "What else can we do but persevere, my child? We're meant increase our talents. The thing d1at would make your арра happy is if you do as well as you've been doing. Wherever you go, you represent our family, and you must Ье an excellent person-at school, in town, and in the world. No matter wЬat anyone says. Or does," Isak said, then paused to cough. Не knew it must Ье taxing for the child to go to ajapanese school. "You must Ье а diligent person with а humЬle heart. Have compassion for everyone. Even your enemies. Do you understand that, Noa? Men may Ье unfair, but the Lord is fair. You'll see. You will," Isak said, his ex­ hausted voice tapering off. "Yes, арра." Hoshii-sensei had told him that he had а duty to Koreans, too; one day, he would serve his community and make Koreans good chil­ dren of the benevolent Emperor. The Ьоу stared at his father's newly shaved head. His bald pate was so white in contrast to his dark, suвken cheeks. Не looked both new and ancient. Sunja felt bad for the child; he'd never had а day with both his parents and no one else. When she was growing up, even when there were otl1eгs around, it had been just the three of them-her father, mother, and her­ an invisiЫe triangle. When she thought back to her life at hоше, this closeness was what she missed. Isak was right about school, but it wouldn't Ье much longer. Soon, Isak would Ье gone. She wou ld have given anything to see her father again, but how could she go agai nst Isak's wishes? Sunja picked up Noa's satchel and handed it to the Ьоу, wh o was crestfallen. "After school, соте home straight away, Noa. We'll Ье here," Isak said. Noa remained fixed to his spot on the floor, unaЬle to take lus eyes off his father for fear that he'd disappear. Тhе child hadn't realized l1ow n1t1cl1 РЛСНINКО fatl1er uпtil Ье returned. The ache of missing him Ьаd sur­ lic\l missecl l1is face cl iп l1 is sша11, concave chest, and l1e felt anxious about the pain that ,vas sше to retнгn. If l1e remaiнed home, Noa felt certain that l1 is fatl1er \vould Ь е okay. Tl1ey woulcln't even Ьаvе to talk. Why couldп't he study at }юте the way l1is tather l1ad? Noa waпted to ask this, but it "''as not iп his пature to argue. Isak, lюwever, didп't waпt Noa to see him like this anymore. The Ьоу ,vas already afraid, анd tl1ere was no need to rnake him suffer any nюre tha п l1e already l 1ad. Tl1ere were many things l1e hadn't told tl1 e child yet aЬout life, abottt learniпg, about how to talk to God. "ls it very harcl at school?" Isak asked. Suпja tнгnecl to look at tl·1e boy's face; she'd never thought to ask l·1 im this. Noa sl1rнgged. The work was okay, поt impossiЬle. The good stu­ dents, who wei-e all Japanese, the ones he admired, wouldn't speak to hiш. They ,vouldn't even look at him. Не bel.ieved t.hat he could enjoy go­ ing to scl10ol if l1e were а regular persoп and not а Коrеап. Не couldn't say tl1is to his fatЬer or to апуоnе else, because it was certain l1e'd ne\'er Ье а regular J1paпese. One day, Uncle Yoseb said, tl1ey would retнrn to Korea; Noa imagiпed that life would Ье better there. Carryiпg l1is book bag апd bento, Noa lingered Ьу the fтопt door, шeш­ orizing his father's kindly face. "Cl1ilcl, соте l1ere," lsak said. Noa approached l1iш апd sat оп beпded kпees. Please God, please. Please m ake туfatha well. /'ll ask this just o1lce то,·е. Please. Noa slшt l1is eyes tiglнly. lsak took Noa's l1and ancl ]1eld it. "You are very Ьпt vе, Noa. Мнсh, шнсl1 braveг tl1aп ше. Liviпg every day iп tl1e presence of tlюse wl10 гeftise to acluю,vledge уош· lшшaaity takes great courage." Noa chewed оп l 1 is Iowet· lip .шсl diclн't say a11ytl1ing. Не \,·iped l1is rюse witl1 Ьis l1ancl. "Му child," I1 e said, апсl Isak let go otЪis soн's liaпci. "Му (ieaI Ьоу. l\ly Ыcssing." Tokyo, 1960 It юоk some time, but after two years at Waseda, Noa finally felt comfort­ aЬle aЬout J1is place there. Always ал excellent student with good haЬits, after а fe,v hiccups and several thoughtful attempts, Noa Ieamed how to "rrite English literature papers and take university-Ievel exams. University life ,vas glorious in contrast to second ary school, where he had leamed and memorized many things he no longer vaiued. None of his require­ ments even seemed like work; Waseda ,vas pure joy to him. Не read as much as he couid without straining his eyes, and there ,vas time to read and write and think. His professors at Waseda cared deeply aЬout the suЬ­ jects they taught, and Noa couJd not understand how anyone couid e,,er complain. Hansu had procured for him а well-appointed apartment and gave him а generous allowance, so Noa did not have to worry ahout housing, money, or food. Не lived simply and managed to send sоше шопеу home each month. 'Just study," Hansu had said. �'Leam everything. Fill your mind with knowledge-it's the oniy kind of power по one сал take a,-vay l from you." Hansu never told l1im to study, but rat1er to learn, and it occurred to Nоа that there was а marked difference. Leaming \\'as like playing, not lahor. Noa was ahle to buy every book he n eeded for his classes, and when l1e couldn 't find one at the bookstore, all he had to do \-\"1S go to the imшense university lihrary, which was deeply underutilized Ьу his peers. Не didп't MinJinLee d him, be cause they seemed so uпdeгstand the Japanes e 8tudents aroun . . e r than le am1ng. Не rath l schoo of ide s out s шg · t ш d te s шucl1 more шte.-e . ' Japan ese d1dn t want much the that s t pa ol s h O c s от fr kпe\V well enough . elf, по d1fferent than when he was to do w1tl1 Koreans, so Nоа kept to hims . d them, to o' he but avo1de eda, s Wa at ns Korea ome s а Ьоу. There were . because thеу s eemed tOO political. During one of the1r montbly lunches , . ,, . Haпsu had said that the Ieftists were "а bunch of wh1ners and the nght. . Noa was alone mostly, but he didn't feel lonely. · stup1·d" 1sts were "р1аш Even afteI two years , he was still in thrall withjust being at Wa seda, with just having а quiet room to read in. Like а man starved, Noa filled his mind, ravenous for good books. Не read through Dickens, T hackeray, Hardy, Austen, and Trollope, then moved on to the Continent to read through much of Balzac, Zola, and Flaubert, then fell in love with Tolstoy. His favorite was Goethe; he must have read The Sorrows of Young Werther at least half а dozen times. If he had an embarrassing wish, it was this: Не would Ье а European from а long time ago. Не didn't want to Ье а king or а gene ral-he was too old for such simple wishes. If anything, he wanted а very simple life filled with nature, books, and perhaps а few children. Не kne w that later in life, he also wanted to Ье let alone to read and to Ье qui et. In his new life in Tokyo, he had discovered jazz music, and he like d going to bars Ьу himself and listening to records that the own ers wou ld select from Ьins . Listening to live music was too expensiv e , but he hope d tl1 at one day, when he had ajob again, he would Ье аЫе to go to ajazz club. At the bar, he would have one drink that he'd barely touch to рау for his s eat, then he'd go back to his room, read som e more, write lette rs to his family, theп go to sleep. Every few weeks, he s aved s ome of his allowance and to ok an in ex­ pensive train ride home and visited his family. At the be gin ning of е асЬ month, Hansu took him for а s ushi lunch to remi nd Nоа of his шissioп in the world for some higher purpose that neither coнld art нla e fнlly. His ic t life felt ideal, and Noa was grateful. T hat morning as he wal kеd across campus to 111·s Geoig El"юt sе · в· u· ' e nar, he heard someon e ca lling his name. ь· PACНINKO do-san," а woman shouted • It was the ra d"1сal Ьeauty on 'Ba.пdo-san Ban . iko Fumeki. са�пPus' Ak r rе. Нe was оа stopped and waited. She had never spoken to him Ьею iп fact, а little afraid of her. She was always saying contrary things to Pro� fessor Kuroda, а soft-spoken woman who had grown up and studied in England . Though the professor was polite, Noa could tel1 that she didn't like Akiko much; the other students, especially the fernales, could barely tolerate her. Noa knew it was safer to keep his distance frorn the students that the professors dis1iked. ln the seminar roorn, Noa sat one seat away from the professor, while Akiko sat in the very back of the room below the high windows. "Ah, Bando-san, how are you?" Akiko asked, flush ed and out of breath. She spoke to him casually, as if they had talked rnany tirnes before. "Well, thank you. How are you?" "So what do you think of Eliot's final rnasterpiece?" she asked. "lt' s excellent. Everything Ьу George Eliot is perfect." "Nonsense. Adam Bede is а b o re. 1 a1rnost died reading that thing. Silas Marner is barely toleraЬle." "Well, Adam Bede was not as exciting or developed as Middlemarch, but it remains а wonderful depiction of а b rave woman and an honest man-" "O h, please." Akiko rolled her eyes, and she laug hed at him. Noa laug hed, too. Не knew she was а Sociology major, because every­ one had had to introduce hirnself or herself on the first day of class. "You have read everything Ьу George Eliot? That's impressive," he said, never having met anyone else who had done so. "You're the one who's read aЬso lutely everything. It's sickening, and l'm almost irritated at you for doing so. But I admire it, too. Altlюugh, if you like everything you read, I can't take you tl1at seriously. Perhaps _you didn't think aЬout these books long enough." She said this with а serюus face, not in the least bit concerned about offending him. book that а pro­ "Soo пее." N оа smiled. It had not occurred to him that any au­ fessor would choose and admire could Ье inferior even in relation to that er·. thor's own works. Their professor had loved Adam Bede and Si/,as Marn MinJinLee . ssor. I think she's in love with you." "You s1t so с1ose tо the profe In shock ' Noa halted. · ty years old. МауЬе seventy." Noa moved towar d the • six ''Kuroda-san 1s her. building door and opened it for . шg sexJ. ust because they're hav stop sixty? to "You think women want the most romantic woman in Waseda. You're aЬsurd. She's рrоЬаЫу perfect for her. She'd marry you She's read far too many novels. You're ied tomorrow. Oh, the scandal! Your George Eliot marr а young man, too, you know. Although her groom did try to kill himself on their honey­ moon!" Akiko laughed out loud, and the students who were walking up the staircase to their classroom stared at her. Everyone seemed puzzled Ьу their interaction, since N оа was almost as famous as the campus beauty, but for being aloof. Once in their classroom, she sat at her old seat in the back, and Noa returned to his seat Ьу the professor. Не opened his notebook and re­ trieved his fountain pen, then looked down at the sheet of white paper lined in pale Ыuе ink. Не was thinking ahout Akiko; she was even prettier up close. Kuroda-san sat down to give her lecture. She wore а pea-green sweater over her Peter Pan-collar white Ьlouse and а brown tweed skirt. Her tiny feet were shod with а childish pair of Mary Janes. She was so small and thin that she gave the impression that she could almost fly away like а sheet of paper or а dry leaf. Kuroda-san's lecture was primarily an extensive psychological portrait of the heroine in Daniel Deronda, the self-centered Gwendolen Harleth, who changes as а result of her suffering and the goodness of Daniel. The professor put great emphasis on а woman's lot being determined Ьу her economic position and marriage prospects. Unsurprisingly, the profes­ sor compared Gwendolen to the vain and greed Rosa nd Vincy of mo y Middumarch, but argued that in contrast, Gwendolen achieves the Aris­ totelian anagnorisis and peripeteia. Kuro da-san spent most of the lectur e on Gweпclolen, then right before the period ended, she spo ke а little aЬout Mirah and Daniel, the Jews of the book. Kuroda-san gave some background o n Zionism and the role ofjews in Victorian no vels. РлСНINКО . mеп ai·e often seen as exceptionally brilliant, and the women ·je,,,1s 1 1 . . . с. be·шtiful and trag1c. Here we have а s1tuat10n where а man does are o1te11 ' is own identitv as an outsider. Не is like Moses, the infant in JIOt kпo,v }1 . h and not Е gypt1an-" As Kuroda-san . . J ewis that h,е 1s s arп le o l i w • e Geп s1s · n li is she glanced at Nоа, but he was not aware of 1t, because }1е ,,ras say1 g t ' as taking пotes. \V " o"'eveI, wl1e11 Daniel learns that he is indeed а Jew, Daniel is free H to love tlie virtuous Mirah, another talented singer like hisjewish mother, d he w ll go east to Israel." Kuroda-san sighed quiedy, as if she was an t y i leased Ьу Eliot's ending. р "So are you saying that it is better for people to only love within their race 1 tliat people like the Jews need to live apart in their own country?" Akiko asked, without raising her hand. She did not seem to believe in that formality. "Well, I think George Eliot is arguing that there is great nobility in being Jewisl1 and wanting to Ье part of ajewish state. Eliot recognizes that these people we.-e often persecuted unfairly. They have every right to а Je,vish state. The war has taught us that bad things happened to them, and tl1at can't happen again. Thejews have done по wrong, but the Euro­ peans-" Kuroda-san spoke more quietly than usual, as if she was afraid that someone might ovб�1ear her and she would get in trouЬle. "lt's com­ plicated, but Eliot was far ahead ofher contemporaries to think aЬout the issue of discrimination based оп religion. Nee?" There were nine students in the class, and everyone nodded, including Noa, but Akiko looked irritated nonetheless. ''Japan was an ally of Germany," Akiko said. "Tl1at is not part of this discussion, Akiko-san." T e ro . h p fessor opened her book nervously, wanting to change tl1e sub­ Ject. ''Eliot is wrong," Akiko said, undeteпed. "МауЬе thejews have а right to have their own state ' but I see по need for Mirah and Daniel to have to leave Eng land. 1 think this nobility argument or а greater nation for а perс • secщed р еор lе 1s . а pre text to eject all the unwanted 1ore1gners." Noa did not look up. Не found himself writing down everything Akiko MinJinLee could Ье true. Не had adrnire d said, because it upset him to think that this Daniel's courage and goodness throughout the book, and he had not tlюught much about Eliot's political design. Was it possiЬle that Eliot was suggesting that foreigners, no matter how much she admired thern, should leave England? At this point in the course, everyone in the room despised Akiko, but suddenly he admired her courage to think so differ­ ently and to suggest such а difficult truth. Не felt lucky to Ье at а university and not in most other settings, where the person in charge was always right. Nevertheless, until he really listened to Akiko disagree with the pro­ fessor, he had not thought for himself fully, and it had never occuпed to him to disagree in puЬlic. After class, he walked home alone, deep in thoughts of her, and he knew that he wanted to Ье with her, even if it would not Ье easy. The following Tuesday, before the seminar began, N оа went early to class to claim the chair next to hers. The professor tried not to show that she was hurt Ьу this defection, but of course, she was. HooK fJr Pachinko I propose the following definition of the nation: it is an imagined political community-and imagined as both inherently limited and sovereign. It is imagi,ned because the members of even the smallest nation will never know most of their fellowmembers , meet them, or even hear of them, yet in the minds of each lives the image of their commumon ... The nation is imagined as limited because even the largest of them, encompassing perhaps a billion living human beings, has finite, if elastic, boundaries, beyond which lie other nations ... It is imagined as sovereign because the concept was born in an age in which Enlightenment and Revolution were destroying the legitimacy of the divinely-ordained, hierarchical dynastic realm ... Finally, it is imagined as a community, because, regardless of the actual inequality and exploitation that may prevail in each, the nation is always conceived as a deep, horizontal comradeship. Ultimately it is this fraternity that makes it possible, over the past two centuries, for so many millions of people, not so much to kill, as willingly die for such limited imaginings . - Benedict Anderson PACHINKO "Papa, it doesn't matter. Non e of it matters , nee?. " Solomon had nev er seen his father like this before. "I worked and made money because I thought it would make me a man. I thought people would respect me if I was rich." Solomon looked at him and nodded. His father rarely spent on himself, but he had paid for weddings and funerals for employees and sent tuition for their children. Mozasu's face brightened suddenly. "You can change your mind, Solomon. You can call Phoebe when she gets home and say you're sorry. Your mother was a lot like Phoebe­ strong-willed and smart." "I want to live here," Solomon said. "She will not." ''Soo nee." Solomon picked up the ledger from his father's table. "Explain this to me, Papa." Mozasu paused, then he opened the book. [BEGIN READING BELOW] It was the first of the month, and Sunja had woken up upset. She had dreamed of Hansu again. Lately, he had been appearing in her dreams, looking the way he did when she was a girl, wearing his white linen suit and white leather shoes. He always said the same thing: "You are my girl; you are my dear girl." Sunja would wake and feel ashamed. She should have forgotten him by now. After breakfast, she would go the cemetery to clean Isak's grave. As usual, Kyunghee offered to come with her, but Sunja said it was okay. Neither woman performed the jesa. As Christians, they weren't sup­ pos•,ed to believe in ancestor worship. Nevertheless, both widows still wanted to talk to their husband and elders, appeal to them, seek their counsel. They missed their old rituals, so she went to the cemetery regu­ larly. It was curious, but Sunja felt close to Isak in a way that she hadn't when he was alive. Then she had been in awe of him and his goodness. Dead, he seemed more approachable to her. When the train from Yokohama reached Osaka Station, Smtja bought ivory-colored chrysanthemums from the old Korean woman's stall. She had MinJinLee way Isak had explained it, when it was time to been tl}ere for years. Tl1e would Ье in heaven, so what happened Ье ,viili tlie Lord, your real body шаdе по sense to bring а buried body fato your remains didn't шatter• It re was no пееd for bowing , since we vorite foods or incense or flowers. The And yet Sunja couldn't help were all equal in ilie eyes of ilie Lord, he'd said. wanting to bring soшeiliing lovely to the grave. ln life, he had asked for so Iittle &от her, and when she tl10ugl1t of hiш now, she reшembered her hus­ band as soшeone who had praised ilie beauty that God had made. She was glad iliat Isak had not been cremated. She had wanted а place for ilie boys to visit ilieir failier. Mozasu visited ilie grave often, and before Noa disappeared, he had соше wiili her, too. Had they talked to him, too? she won­ dered. It had never occurred to her to ask them iliis, and now it was too late. Lately, every tiшe she went to the cemetery, she wondered what lsak would have thought of Noa's death. lsak would have understood Noa's suffering. Не would have known what to say to hiш. Noa had been cre­ mated Ьу his wife, so there was no grave to visit. Sunja talked to Noa when she was alone. Soшetiшes, soшething very siшple like а delicious piece of purnpkin taffy would rnake her sorry that now that she had rnoney, she couldn't buy hirn sornething that he had loved as а child. Sorry, Noa, sorry. lt had been eleven years since he'd died; the pain didn't go away, but its sharp edge had dulled and softened like sea glass. Sunja hadn't gone to Noa's funeral. Не hadn't wanted his wife and chil­ dren to know aЬout her, and she had done enough already. If she hadn't visited hirn the way she had, maybe he rnight still Ье alive. Hansu had not gone to the funeral, either. Noa would've been fifty-six years old. ln her drearn last night, Suчja had Ьееn happy that Hansu had соте to see her again. They rnet at the beach near her old home in Yeongdo to talk, and recalling the drearn was like watching another person's life. How was it possiЫe that lsak and Noa were gone but Hansu was still alive? How was · • somewhere in Tokyo in this fair..> Нansu was 11vшg а hospital bed under tl1e watchful gaze of round-the-clock nurses and his daughters. She never sa w him anymore and had no wish to. In her drearn s, he was as viЬrant as he had been when she was а gi• rl• It was not · Нansu that she rn1ssed or even Isak• ' · · What she was seeing agаш • ш • her dreams was her youth, her begшrung, an d PACHINKO so this was how she became a woman. Without Hansu and Isak herWI• shes· ere wouldn't h ave been th'1s p1·1gnmage to this land. Beyond the and Noa, th re had been moments of shimmering beauty and some glory, dailiness, the ajumma's life. Even if no one knew, it was true. too, even in this There was cons olation: The people you loved, they were always there with you, she had learned. Sometimes, she could be in front of a train kiosk or the window of a bookstore, and she could feel Noa's small hand when he was a boy, and she would close her eyes and think of his sweet, grassy smell and remember that he had always tried his best. At those mo­ ments, it was good to be alone to hold on to him. She took the taxi from the train station to the cemetery, then walked the many rows to Isak's well-maintained grave. There was no need to clean anything, but she liked to wipe down the marble tombstone before she spoke to him. Sunja fell to her knees and cleaned the flat, square tomb­ stone with the towels she'd brought for the purpose. Isak's name was carved injapanese and Korean. 1907-1944. The white marble was clean now and warm from the sun. He had been such an elegant and beautiful man. Suaja could recall how the servant girls back home had admired him; Bokhee and Dokhee had never seen such a handsome man before. Mozasu took after her more and had her plain face, but he had his father's straight carriage and steady stride. ''Yobo," she said, "Mozasu is well. Last week, he called me, because Solomon lost his job with that foreign bank, and now he wants to work with his father. Imagine that? I wonder what you'd make of this." The silence encouraged her. "I wonder how you are-" She stopped speaking when she saw Uchida­ san, the groundskeeper. Sunja was sitting on the ground in her black woolen pants suit. She glanced at her handbag on the ground. It was an expensive designer bag that Etsuko had bought for her seventieth birthday. The groundskeeper stopped before her and bowed, and she returned the bow. Suaja smiled at the polite young man, who must have been about forty or forty-five. Uchida-san looked younger than Mozasu. How did she look to him? Her skin was deeply grooved from the years of sun, and her short Min]inLee hair was bright white. No matter-seventy-three did not feel very old to her. Had the groundskeeper heard her mumЬling in Korean? Ever since she'd stopped working at the confectionery, her limitedjapanese had de­ teriorated further. It was not terriЫe, but lately she felt shy around native speakers. Uchida-san picked up his rake and walked away. Sunja put both hands on the white marЫe, as if she could touch Isak from where she was. "1 wish you could tel1 me what will happen to us. 1 wish. 1 wish I knew that Nоа was with you." Several rows from her, the groundskeeper cleared wet leaves fi:om stone markers. Now and then he would glance up at her, and Sunja felt emЬarrassed to Ье seen talking to а grave. She wanted to stay а little longer. Wanting to look like she V\'as busy, Sunja opened her canvas bag to put away the dirty tow­ els. ln the bottom of her bag, she found her house keys on the key ring with thumЬnail-sized photographs ofNоа and Mozasu in а sealed acrylic frame. Sunja started to weep, and she could not help her crying. "Boku-san." "Hai?" Sunja looked up at the groundskeeper. "Мау I get you something to drink? 1 have а thermos of tea in the cot­ tage. It is not very fine tea, but it is warm." "No, no. Thank you. All time, you see people cry," she said in broken Japanese. "No, actually, very few people соте here, but your family visits regu­ larly. You have two sons and а grandson, Solomon. Mozasu-sama visits every month or two. 1 haven't seen Noa-sama in eleven years, but he used to соте on the last Thursday of each month. You could set а watch to him. How is Noa-sama? Не was а very kind man." "Noa соте here? Соте before 1978?" "Hai." "From 1963 to 1978?" She mentioned the year s he would have been . ш Nagan�. She said the dates again, hoping that her Japanese was сопесt. _ SunJa poшted to Noa's photograph on the key ring. "Не visit here?" The gr�undskeeper nodded with convict ion at the photograph, theн looked up ш the sky like he was tryшg . . . • to see some sort of calendar ш h1 s шшd. PACHINKO "Hai, hai. He came in those years and before ' to o. Noa-sama told me to go to school and even offered to send me if I wished." "Really?'' "Yes, but I told him I have an empty gourd for a head, and that it would havebeen pointless to send me to school · Besides , I like it he re. It' s qmet. · Everybody who comes to visit is very kind. He asked me never to mention his visits, but I have not seen him in over a decade, and I'd wondered ifhe moved away to England . He told me to read good books and brought me translations of the great British author Charles Dickens ." "Noa, my son , is dead. " The groundskeeper opened his mouth slightly. "My son , my son, " Sunja said quietly. "I am very sad to hear that, Boku-san. Truly, I am," the groundskeeper said, looking forlorn. "I'd been hoping to tell him that after I finished all the books he 'd brought me, I bought more of my own. I have read through all of Mr. Dickens 's books in translations, but my favorite is the first one he gave me , David Copperfield. I admire David." "Noa loved to read. The best. He loved to read." "Have you read Mr. Dickens? " "I don 't know how," she said. "To read." "Maji? If you are Noa's mother, you are very smart, too . Perhaps you can go to night school for adults. That is what Noa-sama told me to do." Sunja smiled at the groundskeeper, who seemed hopeful about sending an old woman to school. She remembered Noa cajoling Mozasu to persevere with his studies. The groundskeeper looked at his rake. He bowed deeply, then excused himself to return to his tasks. When he was out of sight, Sunja dug a hole at the base of the tombstone about a foot deep with her hands and dropped the key ring photograph inside. She covered the hole with dirt and grass, then did what she could to clean her hands with her handkerchief , but dirt remained beneath her nails. Sunja tamped down the earth , then brushed the grass with her fingers. She picked up her bags . Kyunghee would be waiting for her at home. [END OF NOVEL] 485