Girl: With An African American Twist Seminar Paper

1 Girl: With An African American Twist Whether you’re wearing braids or wearing it naturally, under no circumstances do you let them touch your hair? If you’re comfortable, you can answer the questions that include “Is all of it real?” or “How often do you wear it?” Try to refrain from answering them though, because if you do answer them, this gives them the idea that it’s okay to ask these sorts of questions. Just because you have African American hair, doesn’t mean that you are Google. They can figure out the answers to these questions by turning on their phone and clicking on a search bar. It’s not your responsibility to inform them about your hair. “It’s OK to be curious, but black women are not a curiosity.” (Jolie A. Doggett) Also, you should be prepared for some negative comments if you do answer their questions, which again, you honestly should abstain from doing so if you can. You tell them that you do not have to wash your hair everyday, they say “Really? That’s kind of gross…” You tell them that all of the hair on your head isn’t yours, they say, “You shouldn’t have to fake your beauty, why don’t you just wear out your real hair?” But when you finally do wear out your real hair, they tell you to just straighten it (think to yourself, Well gee, I never thought about that before Debra), or they call it nappy. See, this is why you should just ignore the questions and walk away. It’s best for you and best for them. You should not get angry or have an attitude. If you do, you’ve now confirmed the “angry black girl/woman” stereotype. They are just waiting to see a hint of this stereotype in you. They want the stereotype to be true, because if it isn’t, that means that they have to change their views of what black girls are like. They also then have to accept that not all black girls are not like this, 2 and they do not want to accept this. You should also avoid using slang and talking with a “blaccent''.” That contributes to the attitude that they think all black girls have. Now if they use it, it is cool, hip, and acceptable by their friends. You are going to get angry at the fact that you can’t speak like this without them having a negative view of you, but you forgot didn’t you? You can not get angry. Whenever you feel that anger, instead of projecting it, watch scenes like that hairbrush one from “The Hate You Give”. You know which one. It will feel good to watch a non-poc being put in their place as a result of constantly stereotyping people of color. Your anger will eventually go away. Just because you date someone who is white doesn’t mean that you are a traitor. You are not betraying your people. If you really like this person, go for it. Your black sisters and brothers should be supportive of you. If someone thinks that you shouldn’t date this person, it shouldn’t be because they don’t like the fact that the person is not black, but because of how they treat you. If someone thinks that this person will abuse you, will treat you unfairly, or even be racist to you, you should hear them out. If the only reason that someone doesn’t want you going out with this person is because they are a different race than you, then just block out their opinion. If you and your partner are happy, everything is fine. You need to realize that all “feminists” will not be for you. Just because they call themselves a feminist, doesn’t mean that they really are. Think about how hypocritical this is, and just laugh at this fact. Some people can be really narrow-minded, and not even that, some people can just be less of a decent human being than you thought. True feminists advocate for every woman, including African Women. Don’t ever forget that, and do not ever think that you don’t deserve to be advocated for. Just because a lot of “feminists” think this, it doesn’t mean 3 that they are right. Some women have the mindset of a white man living in the South during the 1950s. Try to remember your privilege, and no, not your non-existent white privilege. Your light-skinned privilege. Not saying that you still won’t experience racism because you have a lighter skin tone, but society will definitely favor you more than someone who has a darker skin tone. You should use the movie industry as an example. Just look at how many more light-skinned actresses are being hired than dark-skinned actresses, constantly being casted…Zendaya, Yara Shahidi, Amandla Stenberg, etc. Not saying that these actresses aren’t talented, but they are given a better chance at getting their time to shine in a movie because of their skin color. Even Zendaya herself admitted that she has light skin privilege. “Like, people question, ‘Would you listen to Zendaya if she wasn’t the same skin color?’ And that’s an honest question,” she said. “Can I honestly say that I’ve had to face the same racism and struggles as a woman with darker skin? No, I cannot. I have not walked in her shoes and that is unfair of me to say. “But I’m completely behind that woman,” she continues. “I want to be a part of the movement and growth. And if I get put in a position because of the color of my skin where people will listen to me, then I should use that privilege the right way.” (Cosmopolitan) Remember that at the end of the day, it is not the actresses fault that they are repeatedly being casted, it’s the directors and producers. These women are not your enemy and should not be blamed. Instead, blame society and their colorist views. Are you really going to let your non-black friends say the N word. You probably do not want to hear this, but drop those friends immediately. Okay, you don’t have to drop them right away. You can try talking to them first and explaining to them why it is not okay for them to say 4 this word, and why it makes you uncomfortable. Now it’s up to them to decide if they want to continue to be ignorant and stubborn. They must think they’re so gangster for saying this word, and must be so proud of themselves for saying it whenever they get the chance. You should also keep in mind that there is no such thing as the “N-word pass”. It does not exist. Even if someone who is African American tells you themselves that it’s okay to give someone who isn’t black the “pass”, it is not. Please do not give them any more power than they already have. Also, no, they can not say it even when it is included in a song. They can’t even say it if they don’t use the hard r. These are just terrible excuses that they use to say it even more than they already do. Now that you know this though, you can not be a fool. You know that there is absolutely no reason for that word to come out of their mouth. Do not let them trick you into thinking that it is okay. If you’re planning on being successful in the future, also plan for getting a lot of evil looks directed towards you. This world wants to see someone like you fail. They want to keep you at the bottom, because they are comfortable with you being there while they are consistently at the top. Well it’s okay to shake things up a little, or a lot. You can contribute to changing the statistics and the norm. If they are bitter and intimidated by you, congratulations, you have won. You deserve the best for yourself, and as an African American woman, you will always have to work twice as hard for anything. So, do not let them make you feel ashamed, or like you did not earn your success. Love your background and who you are. Unfortunately, it is not uncommon to see African American girls bleaching their skin so that they can appear more white and pale. Your skin is beautiful, and it doesn’t need to change. Your hair is also beautiful. It’s okay to want to wear extensions, crochet, braids, etc., because trust me, taking care of your natural hair is a 5 hassle. Just do not forget that your natural hair is pretty as well. You do not need a long and defined nose. Your nose is perfect. You may have a “black nose”, and that is a hundred percent okay. Your nose isn’t ulgy just because it’s not long and pointy. Your mental health matters, it always has and always will. Do not let society make you think that your feelings do not need to be recognized or taken into consideration. It is okay to want to be that strong black woman that everyone is always saying that you are, but it is also okay to flip the switch and express your emotions. You do not always have to wear your mask; take it off for a breather as much as you need to. Black women have feelings too. Whoever came up with the idea that black women’s mental health are never in jeopardy is stupid. You are not weak for wanting to take a day off or for seeking help from a therapist. You are not a machine. Even if you were a machine, you would need to be recharged, or have your old batteries replaced with new ones. Your mental health matters, it always has and always will. Remember that you are in the world, but you are not of it. In this world, you have to always keep in mind who you are. It is going to be hard to not want to be a follower, but the benefits of being a leader will feel so great. Sure, being a follower rather than a leader is easier, but if you want to truly be successful, you have to work for it. If you feel like the people you are surrounding yourself with are repeatedly taking the wrong path, go the other way. If you feel as if you are being wronged in any way and not getting the treatment you deserve, speak up. That’s another thing, sometimes you are going to have to take risks. They can have a positive outcome, or have a negative one. Life is literally just one big risk though, so you might as well get used to it. If your risk has a negative outcome, look at how you can learn from it. Striving to be a leader 6 and taking chances will help you become a better person in the future. You will thank yourself for it later. Give this advice to your fellow black sisters. You need to be there for them and they should be there for you. There are already too many others who do not show their support for you, the last thing you need is to be fighting someone who is going through the same things you are. Reflection When reading “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid, I felt a sense of relatableness. I thought that this was a conversation between a mother and daughter because of my own experiences with my mother. I could relate to this because my mother would give me advice that was like a hard pill to swallow, but it was for my own good. I felt like Jamaica did a great job with showing what a mother would say, and how she would say it, in order to protect her child. I think that this story could be advocating for the way that the mother in this story teaches her child, and could also be going against it. It depends on who is reading the story. I also feel that the mother in the story isn’t being harsh, but speaking nothing but facts. If I was a couple of years younger than I am now, I would most likely not agree with the way the mother is giving life lessons to her daughter. But now that I am older, I completely agree with the way the mother is handling this. The daughter may feel as if their mother is being cold towards them, but she will learn to appreciate these lessons, and appreciate how the mother taught them to her. I think that “Girl” could also be a great story for men and not just women to read. With this story, men could get a glimpse into how women have to be in society, and what rules they should follow. This story could help men become more understanding towards women, and 7 hopefully let them see the trials and tribulations that most girls have to go through when entering womanhood. When the short story class was having a discussion about “Girl”, all of the girls were keen to talk about how they could relate to this story, and how their mothers were exactly like the mother in the story. Most of the boys in the class didn’t really have anything to say in regards to relating to the story. However, all of them did talk about how the story opened their eyes to what women have to go through in order to be accepted in this society. As each boy spoke, you could hear it in their voice of how sorry they felt that women have to go through what they go through. You could even infer by their discussions that they had a certain kind of respect for women after reading this story. Even though I liked how the author wrote “Girl”, I did feel like it could be expanded way more, which is why I decided to base my creative seminar paper on it. Also, I felt that I could make it way more based on my personal experiences and the lessons my own mother taught me that regarded my race. I also felt like there were way more lessons to be taught to the daughter in the story, and that she wasn’t being taught yet. There was way more that the daughter needed to know. In conclusion, I feel that “Girl” by Jamaica Kincaid is a story that everyone should read. First, this story can be something that most daughters could relate to. Next, this story could give future mothers how to handle teaching their daughters about how to live and survive in society. Lastly, this story could help men see why it may be hard for a woman to succeed in this world. 8 Works Cited Charters, Ann. The Story and Its Writer: An Introduction to Short Fiction. Bedford/St. Martin's, 2019. 9 Willis, Kiersten. “Zendaya Talks Benefits of Having Light Skin: 'I Should Use That Privilege the Right Way'.” Atlanta Black Star, 14 July 2016, https://atlantablackstar.com/2016/07/14/zendaya-embraces-benefits-of-having-light-skin-i-s hould-use-that-privilege-the-right-way/. Doggett, Jolie A. “4 Questions About Hair That Black Girls Are Tired Of Answering.” HuffPost, 7 February 2019, https://www.huffpost.com/entry/black-hair-annoying-questions_l_5c5b3d71e4b08710475a 3daf. Accessed 2022.