Intimacy vs Isolation

ERICK ERIKSON EIGHT STAGES OF PSYCHOSOCIAL DEVELOPMENT INTIMACY VERSUS ISOLATION 2020. 1 INTRODUCTION Man is a social being that needs to be connected to other beings to exist. These connections are important to the mental, physical, spiritual and social wellbeing of an individual. The ability to form close relationship with an individual lead to intimacy. Various studies carried out has revealed the importance of building intimacy with another individual. Some of the benefits of having a healthy intimate relationship includes a healthy immune system that helps to eliminate illness and diseases, a sense of comfort and security and a boost to an individual’s personality. In his theory, Erikson believed that it is of great importance to build intimate and committed connection with other individual as one enters adulthood. This is because this intimate relationship plays a vital role in the development of a healthy emotional, physical, mental and spiritual well-being of a person. 2 INTIMACY VERSUS ISOLATION This sixth stage of Erickson’s theory takes place during young adulthood which spans from 18 to 40 years. At this stage, the individual is expected to form intimate and loving relationships with other people. This involves sharing one’s self emotionally and physically. The ability to develop and maintain deep and long-term commitment with other people especially intimate relationship helps to validate the personality of an individual and also develop an understanding of one’s personality. Crain (1992), states that “real intimacy is only possible once a reasonable sense of identity has been established” (p. 258). These relationships can be platonic or romantic and the result from this relationship is a sense of commitment, security and comfort that comes from deeper, intimate relationship with people other than family members. Intimacy involves sharing your sharing parts of your life with another person that you most times don’t share with others. It means to be involved in another individual’s life, being willing to listen and bear each other’s burden. Developing intimacy with another person takes a lot time and effort. An individual who desires intimacy must be willing to communicate his feelings and thoughts on a deeper level. The ability to do so leads to trust, loyalty and strong connection between the individuals. Success at this stage means that the individual has developed the ability to form and maintain deeper, long-term committed relationships. This helps him experience security, loyalty, comfort and a sense of commitment from the intimate relationship. Isolation happens when one is unable to form intimate and deeper relationship with others. Individuals may experience isolation at this stage even though a person may have formed intimate relationships with others before or may have desired to have intimacy with others. Most 3 people isolate themselves because of the fear of being rejected by others. This fear of rejection most times leads to isolation. Lack of commitment and the fear of betrayal of trust are also issues that hinder the development of intimacy with others. Many times, individuals that have felt betrayed by the people they have opened up to in the past usually resist intimacy and the development of deeper more intimate relationship to prevent being betrayed. This causes them to withdraw from people leading to isolation, loneliness and sometimes depression (Devlin, 2020). It is important that a child learns how to build intimate relationships even before he becomes an adult. The ability to develop and maintain deeper, committed relationship will help him with develop a healthy personality needed in adulthood. Caregivers must help the child learn how to build trust in themselves and others because trust is the foundation of a healthy relationship. Honesty, healthy communication, compassion, affection and loyalty are significant traits to cultivate in childhood because these are important elements needed to build and preserve a deeper, committed and long-term relationships later in life. 4