The Basic Foundations for 99.9 Percent of All Academic Essays

The Basic Foundations for 99.9 Percent of All Academic Essays by Christopher Smith I have all sorts of ideas, but I never know how to get them out of my head and onto the page. I don’t know what an essay should look like. If you’ve had this thought at any time in your past, fear not, for this book is with you1! Truly, there’s no reason to stew about how to write an essay, what it should look like, or even how you structure it, as almost every essay you will ever write for your college career—and beyond—is simply a variation of the following two structures. However, before we delve into the examples, please note2, these are generic structures and formulaic. The problem with generic and formulaic structures is that they lead to generic and formulaic essays. In other words, these won’t guarantee you an “A;” however, they will guarantee you a “C” and, bare minimum, a coherent essay. These are excellent foundations, but like all good foundations, it’s what you build on top of them that will be the deciding factor as to the level of awesomeness3. Without further ado, here is the first of the two structures. (Remember: Each solid bullet point denotes a new paragraph.) ● Introduction ○ States Thesis and Provides “Road Map4” of What’s to Come: Points A, B, and C ● Point A (Second Most Important Point) ○ Evidence that supports Point A and Thesis ● Point B (Third Most Important Point) ○ Evidence that supports Point B and Thesis ● Point C (The MOST Important Point) ○ Evidence that supports Point C and Thesis ● Conclusion ○ Expands upon the initial thesis while reiterating the main points. You may already be familiar with this structure. It’s most commonly known as the Five Paragraph Essay. It’s basic, yes, but that’s the point. It provides all the key pieces an essay needs—introduction, thesis, main points, evidence, and conclusion5. Again, this is an excellent starting point for any essay—especially the shorter ones. My final essay has a 10-page minimum. Does that mean it should have only five paragraphs. That means each would be two pages. That seems ridiculous. 1 Yeah… this is probably sacrilegious... Really. You should pay attention to this. It’s important stuff. 3 Po, aka the Dragon Master, aka Kung Fu Panda, is near the top of this list. 4 This is discussed further in Chapter ?, “The Point of It All: Your Thesis.” 5 These will all be covered more in depth in Chapter ?. 2 Yes. Yes, it does. And while—truly—it can be more than acceptable to have a two-page paragraph, there’s a higher likelihood that your paragraphs might contain sub-points that can be broken into their own pieces. For such occasions, where your ideas become more complex and you need to plan for a longer length, the following structure might be more appropriate. (Remember: Each solid bullet point denotes a new paragraph.) ● Introduction ○ States Thesis and Provides “Road Map” of What’s to Come: Three of Your Points ● Point A (Second Most Important Point) ○ Discusses Point A, why it’s important, how it ties into the thesis, gives background, etc. It will setup however many sub-points you have. ● Sub-Point 1 ○ Evidence that supports Sub-Point 1, Point A, and Thesis ● Sub Point 2 ○ Evidence that supports Sub-Point 2, Point A, and Thesis ● Continue through all of Sub-Points ● Point B ○ Discusses Point B, why it’s important, how it ties into the thesis, gives background, etc. It will setup however many sub-points you have. ● Sub-Point 1 ○ Evidence that supports Sub-Point 1, Point B, and Thesis ● Sub Point 2 ○ Evidence that supports Sub-Point 2, Point B, and Thesis ● Continue through all of Sub-Points ● Point C - ? (However many points are necessary.) ● Point Z (MOST Important Point) ○ Discusses Point A, why it’s important, how it ties into the thesis, gives background, etc. It will setup however many sub-points you have. ● Sub-Point 1 ○ Evidence that supports Sub-Point 1, Point Z, and Thesis ● Sub Point 2 ○ Evidence that supports Sub-Point 2, Point Z, and Thesis ● Continue through all of Sub-Points ● Conclusion ○ Expands upon the initial thesis while reiterating the most important points. This structure may look more complex, but—really—it’s not. It’s simply longer. As you can see, each point and sub-point still has to be backed up by evidence and tied to the thesis6. Think of this structure like matryoshka7. Each figure is distinct and complete unto itself—as each paragraph and point should be—but they all fit together into one cohesive whole. 6 More about paragraph structures and possibilities can be found in Chapter ?, “Paragraphs: Units of Composition.” 7 Commonly known as Russian Nesting Dolls, you know, the conical shaped lady-blobs that split in the middle to reveal another, smaller doll, and so on and so on. Again, both of these structures are very basic and formulaic. They’ll get you started, but they tend to read as very formulaic—and, thus, sometimes boring. Boring isn’t bad, per se; however, each writer should take the unofficial challenge to be the least boring they can be. Really, though, these are great tools for you and can—and should—be used whenever you’re at a roadblock. Structures help you not to worry about how things will be organized but what makes it onto the page in the first place. Most teachers will always be more concerned with your ideas, thoughts, evidence, and originality LONG before they worry about your structure. These will free you up to create deeper, unique, and logically sound arguments based on concrete evidence. And that, my friends, always proves to be a mighty fine essay. What’s up with the “MOST Important” bit being the last point in both essays? When you walk out of a film, what’s clearest in your mind? When you finish a novel, what image/part sticks out the most? At the end of a conversation, what do you wander off thinking about? Nine times out of ten, you’ll remember the ending. Most people do. Again, it’s what we’re geared for as humans. So why not play on this tendency? True, it’s a solid idea to start an essay with a strong point, but ending on the strongest note will keep readers mulling over your best and brightest ideas and evidence. This is the writing equivalent to sinking a game-winning, three-pointer at the buzzer. It’s hitting a kill streak to win your COD8 multiplayer mayhem. It’s the sprinkle of raw cocoa to add the perfect amount of bitter to a sweet dish, making it even sweeter. It’s finding the perfect shoes for your dream job interview. Basically, it should be pretty fucking bomb. 8 Call of Duty, a hugely popular video game series that, frankly, borderlines ridiculousness in said popularity.