Sexism against women and girls is most commonly rooted in gender-based social norms and gender stereotypes, which ultimately perpetuate a system of patriarchal ruling. In the Afghan male-dominated society, the bonds of subordination and discrimination against women are often strengthened by a woman’s family members. In Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns, protagonists Mariam, and Laila both endure hardships and maltreatment within their abusive marriage, but while Mariam endures quietly and exhibits submission, Laila takes initiative and demonstrates determination and courage against the injustice they face.
To begin, Mariam’s childhood label of a harami, an illegitimate child, fuels her crippling self-image which enables others to take advantage of her, while Laila’s empowered self-worth from her family allows her to stand up against mistreatment. Mariam experiences life-long devastation after constantly being reminded of her insignificance from her parents, and she carries this tainted image of herself onto her marriage, which causes her to suffer quietly at the hands of her husband, Rasheed. In the novel, Rasheed reprimands Mariam for giving birth to her daughter and treats Mariam’s grief with cold indifference. However, this indifference eventually magnifies into a strong rage, as after a minor dinner malfunction, Rasheed grabs a handful of pebbles and forces Mariam’s mouth open, shoving the cold, hard pebbles inside. (Hosseini Ch. 15) As a result of Rasheed’s wrath, Mariam grieves quietly and remembers Nana’s words that “…each snowflake was a sigh heaved by an aggrieved woman somewhere in the world. That all the sighs drifted up the sky, gathered into clouds, then broke into tiny pieces that fell silently on the people below…” (Hosseini Ch. 13) as a means of comfort. Nana’s characterization of women as snowflakes induces the ideology that has been implanted in Mariam’s head: women like her as expected to suffer quietly. Before and after the traumatic experience with the pebbles, Mariam remained unable to stand up for herself and stayed quiet as a means of knowing her place, or at least the place she had been put in from her youth. As a prominent figure from Mariam’s childhood, her mother’s words contribute to Mariam’s ways of passivity that are demonstrated through her repeated capitulation towards Rasheed’s constant torture. In contrast, Laila’s continued support from her father shaped her secure sense of self and enabled her to recognize and defend herself from the unjust behavior of Rasheed. In the novel, the audience learns that Laila’s father, Hakim, is a man who harbors progressive views on women’s rights and strives to instill them into his daughter: “You're a very, very bright girl. Truly, you are. You can be anything you want, Laila I know this about you… (Hosseini Ch. 16) Hakim also makes it known to his daughter that women’s rights are something worth fighting for: “Of course, women's freedom - here, he shook his head ruefully- is also one of the reasons people out there took up arms in the first place.” (Hosseini Ch. 18) these beliefs are mirrored in Laila’s encounter with Mariam following Rasheed’s attempted attack, where Laila stepped in: '’I couldn't let him,’ Laila said ‘I wasn't raised in a household where people did things like that.’' (Hosseini Ch. 34) This demonstrates how Laila acted upon her father’s words and the environment she grew up in to protect not only herself but Mariam, against Rasheed’s maltreatment. The thwarting of Rasheed’s domineering masculinity begins with Laila’s powerful conscience and the fact that she knows both she and Mariam are undeserving of his abuse, thanks to her father. Hakim’s beliefs continue to live on through Laila and throughout the book we can see the numerous parallels between father and daughter. Therefore, as Mariam’s childhood insecurity renders her powerless against Rasheed, Laila’s empowerment leads her to act in a brave and determined manner against him.
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Moreover, Mariam’s lonely future leads her to become hopeless and accepting of Rasheed’s ways as it seems to be all she will ever know, while Laila’s promising life with her children propels the action she must take to escape Rasheed. After losing her mother and being rejected by her father, Mariam was plagued with a sense of guilt and abandonment which only deepened as a result of her miscarriages, leaving her to endure Rasheed alone. In the novel, Mariam realizes that her father, Jalil, is embarrassed by her and burdened by her existence when Jalil’s wives inform her that they have found a suitor for her. Although they try to disguise this arranged marriage as betterment for Mariam, she understands their true intentions when she says: “This was their chance to erase, once and for all, the last trace of their husband's scandalous mistake. [I was] being sent away because [I] was the walking, breathing embodiment of their shame.” (Hosseini Ch. 7) After being married to Rasheed for four years, Mariam also suffered six miscarriages and in the aftermath of it all, on top of Rasheed’s bombardment of shame and disappointment, Mariam concludes that she was being punished for her illegitimate status as a child conceived by Jalil’s sin, as well as being a treacherous daughter towards her mother – she was undeserving of a child. (Hosseini Ch. 14) These examples demonstrate the accumulation of thoughts that would ultimately manifest into a new mindset for Mariam: she will live a life of solitude solely in the detrimental company of her abusive husband, and she deserves it all. Before the introduction of Laila in Mariam’s life, Mariam was forced to endure years of Rasheed’s abuse and this is more than enough to form and strengthen the belief that she has nobody to turn to and that it would ultimately be beneficial to submit to Rasheed. On the other hand, Laila successfully gave birth to two children and outside of her marriage, had a love interest to which she was determined to return, all of which pushed her to stand up to Rasheed. In the novel, Laila can be seen taking numerous risks for her family to live a better life. After consistent maltreatment towards herself and Aziza, Laila decides to attempt with Mariam to escape: “We're leaving this spring, Aziza and I. Come with us, Mariam.” (Hosseini Ch. 35) While this attempt fails miserably, readers can see this same hopeful attitude after Laila meets with Tariq, her lover whom she considers family, after learning his death was a lie: “She watched him walk away, shivering where she stood… [A]nother shudder passed through her, a current of something… eager and recklessly hopeful.” (Hosseini Ch. 44) It is evident that Laila is gradually being faced with more and more reasons to fight for her freedom and this spikes her raging hope to live released from Rasheed’s evil grasp. As a woman whose aspirations were never deliberately impeded by her family, but rather encouraged to flourish, her persistence and positive outlook on what the future holds manifestly leads her to take desperate measures for the loved ones around her; a chase for the possibility to prosper with the family she has, as she knows she is not alone. In summary, Mariam’s lack of support and diminishing hope causes her to submit to Rasheed while Laila’s growing family and ambition help her to not lose hope and continue fighting.
Lastly, while there is a clear contrast between the approaches these two women take towards the trauma they endure throughout their marriage, both Mariam and Laila make their final decisions based on their roots, but more importantly, for one another. For the first time in her life, Mariam becomes acutely aware of her worth and makes the ultimate sacrifice for Laila, motivated by love and the past that haunted her. In the novel, the women face a life-threatening situation from Rasheed and Mariam realizes she could lose the person she loves the most and makes one final attempt to prove herself: “...It occurred to her that this was the first time that she was deciding the course of her own life. And, with that, Mariam brought down the shovel. This time, she gave it everything she had.” (Hosseini Ch. 45) Mariam decided to end Rasheed’s life to save Laila’s, despite the death penalty she knew would await her. Mariam took the trauma from her childhood and her marriage and transformed it into a final act of valiance for Laila’s sake. This action stems from her lifetime of disappointment and illegitimacy which ties her back to her roots – a legitimate end to an illegitimate beginning. Similarly, Laila makes the final decision to move her family back to Kabul after Mariam’s death and all the events that ensue, tempted by all the memories she has in Kabul. In the novel, after speaking to Tariq about moving to Kabul, readers get a glimpse of Laila’s reasoning behind this decision; reminiscing on her childhood, thinking of her mother and father, and most compellingly, Mariam’s death. Laila questions her actions, asking herself, “...[d]id she sacrifices herself so [I], Laila, could be a maid in a foreign land? Maybe it wouldn't matter to Mariam what [I] did as long as she and the children were safe and happy. But it matters to [me]. Suddenly, it matters very much.” (Hosseini Ch. 50) This explains how like Mariam, Laila’s final decision in the novel was most heavily influenced by the other woman, as well as her previous family. Laila becomes aware of how much others have sacrificed to allow her to survive and returns to her hometown as a means of respect. Therefore, both Mariam and Laila’s final acts in the novel were influenced by the sister bond they created during their marriage, as well as their childhood roots.
In conclusion, in Khaled Hosseini’s A Thousand Splendid Suns, Mariam and Laila, the female protagonists in an aggressively patriarchal society, suffer constant misfortune at the hands of their husbands. While Mariam takes a more submissive approach to her suffering, Laila demonstrates empowerment and the ability to thrive as she fights against this injustice. Both women share a motivation born out of a new sense of self-worth and selfless love and ultimately, it is both love and hate that are the most powerful shapers of these women and their human spirits.
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