The dosed silence: a form of manipulation
Dosed silence can be a form, like many others, of aggression passive. It is defined as a calculated management of communication in which silence plays a primary role and which aims to control and weaken another person or his position. It is not always manipulated through words, but it is also done through silence. This last tactic is very harmful because it has a more chameleonic mask.
It's called dosed silence because it's not constant, like when someone ignores you or stops talking to you. In this type of manipulation, the encounter and the disagreement, the expression and the lack of it are mixed. All this is carried out in an arbitrary manner. It is the manipulator who decides the rhythm of the communication in the search of his interests for which the other is only an instrument.
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As silence itself is a form of expression that is very ambiguous, it is usual for the victim to feel very confused or distressed. He does not finally know what to think and spends a lot of time and emotional energy trying to guess what each silence means. You feel insecure and doubt any step. Many times he ends up thinking that it is she who has a problem or does not know how to interpret or gives an exaggerated importance to these silences.
How is the silence manifested dosed?
Dosed silence manifests itself in many ways. A very common one occurs when the manipulator wants you to talk about everything first. It is not a courtesy. It lets you talk simply to probe you, take information from you, and study yourself. On the other hand, be careful, not everyone who lets you talk first is manipulating you. It is necessary that this behavior be frequent or constant, intentional, and not corresponding. That person will speak little of himself or will do so with evasiveness.
Another way in which the dosed silence is presented is when someone suddenly breaks the communication and then unexpectedly picks it up again. . Stop answering calls or messages without giving any explanation. Then it appears as if nothing had happened. And if you ask or ask him about the reasons for his distance, he will tell you that nothing happens, that they are wrong impressions of you.
Similarly, there is silence dosed when a kind of censorship is imposed on certain issues, without explanation. Simply when you try to talk about it, the other person evades the matter or refuses to give details. This, of course, applies to issues that are important to both parties. The negative is not that someone does not want to talk about something in particular, but that it is systematic and that no explanation is given, knowing that this attitude affects the other.
Finally, a very usual form of dosed silence is to silence something because, supposedly, not knowing it is better for the other. It applies to matters that directly concern the person to whom information is being hidden. Some call it 'becoming interesting', but it is definitely the wrong name.
The word is power and silence too
What distinguishes a manipulative silence from a spontaneous silence is the purpose. Who comes to this strategy of parapenting in the absence of words do so with the aim of controlling the other? He knows that it generates confusion, and projects insecurity, and that is precisely what he is looking for. Hiding in silence leaves the other without the tools to act on equal terms.
Do not confuse manipulative silence with shyness. Not everyone has the facility to communicate spontaneously. There are those who need time and understanding to express what they think and feel. They do not speak for shyness, insecurity, or lack of trust. However, their goal is not to control others, but rather to protect themselves.
The dosed silence is distinguished by the effect it generates on the other. It alternates with seemingly 'normal' communication. It is an absence of words that gives the sensation of hiding something. As it is subtle, it can hardly be confronted, under penalty of being accused of paranoid or fanciful. However, however subtle it is, it causes a lot of damage in a relationship and, particularly, to the person who is the subject of that practice.
This type of silence can be extremely aggressive, especially because it immerses communication in muddy terrain. Misunderstandings and guesswork are the order of the day. And the abuse as such is hardly exposed, except for its effects. If the other, after having pointed out his attitude, does not cease in this toxic practice, there is no other way out but a direct and explicit rejection and distance.
Silence is indispensable to regenerating the brain
Silence has been the source of many reflections throughout all ages. At the same time, we have saturated the places where we live with so much noise that it is increasingly difficult to find it. This makes more and more people who do not hear noises experience an abyss within themselves.
We have an ear that is currently hyperstimulated. The most serious thing is that almost all of the auditory stimuli we receive from abroad are more or less alarming. Car roars, hustle, loud music, whistles, bells ... well ... nothing that inspires tranquility.
Experimenting with the silence
Beyond these stimuli affecting our emotional state, science has also proven that it affects the brain. According to a study carried out in Germany by the Research Center for Regenerative Therapies Dresden, there are brain processes that can only be carried out in silence.
Until recently it was thought that neurons were unable to regenerate. However, with the development of neurogenesis, it has been proven that this is a mistake. It is not yet clear what exactly promotes neuronal and brain regeneration. But there are already valuable clues about it, and one of them is silence.
The German researchers initially made an experiment with a group of mice. The study consisted of leaving them in complete silence for two hours a day. At the same time, an observation of their brains would be made to see if this caused any change.
The result was blunt. After a time of being subjected to this routine, it could be observed that in all the mice studied there had been an increase in the number of cells within the hippocampus. This is the region of the brain that regulates emotions, memory, and learning.
The experts also found that the new nerve cells were progressively integrated into the central nervous system and then specialized in different functions. In conclusion, silence produced a very positive change in the animals' brains.
Silence helps to structure information
The brain never rests, even when in a state of calm we are completely still or asleep. This wonderful organ is still working but in a different way. When the body rests, other processes begin to develop that complement those performed when we are active.
What basically happens is that a kind of debugging occurs. The brain evaluates the information and experiences to which we have been exposed throughout the day. Then organize and integrate the relevant information and discard what is not important.
This process is completely unconscious but produces conscious effects. That is why it happens that sometimes we find answers during sleep. Or we managed to see things from a new point of view, after resting for a few hours.
The interesting thing about all this is that a similar process also occurs when we are silent. The absence of auditory stimuli has almost the same effect as rest. Silence, in general, leads us to think about ourselves and this cleanses emotions and reaffirms identity.
The important effects of stress
Silence not only makes us more intelligent, creative, and safe. Silence also has very positive effects on states of distress. Human beings are very sensitive to noise. So much so that many times we woke up startled by an object that fell or by a strange sound.
An investigation conducted at Cornell University found that children who live near airports maintain a high level of stress. And not only this. They also have higher blood pressure and high rates of cortisol, the stress hormone.
Fortunately, the opposite is also true. And this was evidenced by a study from the University of Pavia, in which it was verified that only two minutes of absolute silence are more enriching than listening to relaxing music. In fact, it was evidenced that blood pressure decreased and that people managed to feel more awake and calm after this little bath of silence.
As can be seen, silence produces great intellectual and emotional benefits. We could say that keeping you silent, at least for small periods a day, is a determining factor in brain health. And with that, a decisive element is to improve our emotional state, health, and quality of life.
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