Single Parents in “The Distance Between Us”

Being in a different place

Have you ever been raised differently either by a single parent like a father or mother? Even just being raised by your grandparents since your parents could be there for you. Many children have been abandoned by their parents or family in terms that they could be there for them in those times. Many Latina Mothers in their perspective struggle a lot in just being able to feed their child. In forms that they can't take care of their child no longer. In some cases, even for the father many times they don’t seem that they can take care of the child as well. For being a parent it comes with a lot of responsibility. Therefore this can result in having to stay with a legal guardian like a grandparent, aunt or uncle or future more adoption. Even just the fact of not knowing what your going to eat that day or who’s going to take care of you that day and the following days. Seeming to think that your the ones that are unlucky from the rest of the word, well the following can show you that your not alone and there are many others exactly in your spot to.

When it comes to who took care of a child or who can do better in taking care of them it all could come down too who pays more attention to the child. When a latina mother looks at their child they see in what ways they can help their child so they can have a better life than what they have. Many Mother see that perspective in their child, Yet they struggle themselves especially if their a single parent whose spouse abandon their family so they could struggle with it or in some terms they come across a horrible accident. A lot of cultures have their own ways of feeding children. As Segal (2014) described it, food is a vehicle for many non biological functions with economic meanings, and parents feeding an opportunity to exercise their parental roles. People that are latino are the largest ethnic in the United States according to the National Vital Statistics (Hamiltoin et al.,2016). Which can mean lots of family can be struggling just to stay together. Otherwise they can't take care of the child they can potienally be separed if they’re undocumented. From what's been seen from a ground theory in order to understand how participants feeds their young child. (Bogdan & Biklen, 2007; Corbin & Strauss, 2015; Creswell, 1998) Their were 12 participating families. Nine of the families were two parent families and 3 were single-parent families. There only came out to be one family that was an extended family; the rest of the participants were in nuclear households. All children in families of five attended day care on weekdays, another five were attended by their grandmother, and three children stayed with their mother at home. Except for one mother, all the mothers had a full-time job or held a part-time job outside the home.

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All single parent s that are mothers and their single parenting is very difficult, budgeting was one of their major struggles that started in the household(Cassie, Julie. etc). Mothers want to always reach their goal on wanting to reach the basic need for their child. As one mother said, “ I want to become totally independent financially so I can take care of myself and my child.” A mother's priority for a child is that they want to be able to keep track of themselves and being able to take care of their own child all by themselves as there like to be indepent a lot with things. As for the education of the child women who are head of the families have taken sole responsibility for their children’s education which would take both school and community in order to do so and for them to link up (Epstein, 2011; Heath, 2012). Lots of mother's have issues trying to support their child with their education when they themselves don't know the material or there can be issues where they don't know the language all that well and then they have to put them in special programs so their child can get the help he/she needs. As one mother stated “I cannot help my child with homework because I have a lot of difficulty reading the guidelines”(Caissie, Julie, et al).

Grandmas are one of a kind and often know usually what's best for you. Most mothers get advice from their own mothers as they say “ She’s just kinda watching out for her”, and “who else to give you the best advice than your own mother?”. Mother usually take more trust in their own mother since they have already raised a child rather than believe a doctor of some kind. As a mother said “ I would rather really rather get information from my mother. A doctor doesn't entirely say everything you need to know”(Howe, Tsu-Hsin, 2019). Many grandparents spoke for the first time and with emotion about the issues they had with grandchildren and having to hear what others have to say about it and how their are other similar stories out there just like theirs. Having grandparents also have responsibilities themselves too they have to make sure themselves and know what their limits are since they are older. Grandparents care in Australia is highly gendered. Grandmothers are more likely to be raising a grandchild rather than a grandfather as they tend to show more care giving. Lots of grandmothers change their employment arrangements for they would be able to give care to the grandchild, for example they can change in working less so they can be with the grandchild more and focus on them like that or they can work even more so they can pay the costs of taking care of the grandchild. In “Grandparents raising grandchildren” they did some studying and showed that mostly sixty percent of had change in employment assuming it was due to giving care to grandchildren. As the article also shows that young parents are also most likely to leave their jobs compared to middle and older age groups as they reduce their work hours, it comes too almost the age of seventeen to eighteen percent that are respectively and six percent that grandparents that are older parents that are grandparents that retired at a mid age. ITs shown that younger grandparents who they became carers of the grandchild are more likely to no longer work at all or work less.

Latina Mothers sometimes come to the point that they can only serve the cheapest food so they can at least feed their children sometiming. They asked what did you feed your child and many responded that “It always soup and always rice”. With that they started them with that food at young ages like about 3 months old. A mothers thought of a healthy child is a child that is chubby but not fat, They asked them what type of food then they would feed the child and they all started with the same first food, “ Vegetables, fruits, meats and lots of milk.” An example they gave to the guys was the milk is important because that's what children need so their bones can be strong and that they need to have strong bones. A mother says “ we pretty much eat white rice or rice with everything, as soup is like brain food; like if you eat enough soup you won't ever get sick.” Many children around the country had to go through this struggle in life when they parents had little to no support and had a child or two. The mother would usually be stressing a lot over the child yet they try their best so they can have something and not be separated by the government. All mothers yet latina mothers tend to want more for the child that so they go out and work had so by the time they come back home they get to give their child any way necessary to give them food and have them eat. They live to survive and try to hang on there for as long as they can till a miracle come to them, or they get lucky enough to meet someone and they can support them. In Mexico and the United States, you see lots of people in run down houses and many families struggling they even be struggling with just the simple fact that may not have a roof over their head. (Latino American study).

This part can be related to a book which is called “The Distance Between Us” by Reyna Grande, as in the book solidad had to go through the issues with parents and ad to be going to other family members and getting raised by her grandmother to having to go with another grandmother and having to be raised by many different people shows a lot how each person can be different yet many issues can come with this as you will have the fear of being abandoned so much yet loved in some occasions. Solidad parents separated and her mother was one of the mothers that couldn’t take care of her so she sent her to another family. The issue with that is that she's not going to have the bond and thoses daughter and mother moments. Her father on the other hand went of and just abandoned her and just helped with money here and there. They parent that got to truly come supportive to her was her aunt, sister and her grandpa. Solidad was a woman that put a lot of effort to get her education so she can find a better life for herself so she can move up in life and not have that feeling of being scared, so eventually she can have a future job and be financially good. It seems that this has a strong connection to this as many people are having issues with this problem. Nowadays we still get to see this and how many families are getting this problem since not everyone put in a great stable family yet that one way of life and how it works.

This should all be noted by the people in how families that are having issues at home or can’t take well care of their child and having to put them in foster care is good and all but it shouldn’t be to the point that we should separate the family unless the mother truly are wanting to. Many are having issues just having to stay with the child if the parent is with someone and they choose to separate because the child was part of the issues as they wanted to give something but couldn’t be accomplished so they just moved away from the situation. In my factor, the government should make fundraisers and help the families in need have a small portions so they can have a small boosted and get it going again, while they can get their situation right.

To recap what happens with family, lots of families that have single parenting or that come to be that they can't take care of the child they are usually harder for the child to uperhend whats going on and having a little fear because they start to feel more and more abandon. A mother tries the best so this doesn’t have to happen and pushes herself and start making more time working and at least try to provide the basics for their child and for them eating they try to change it up as much as they can so they don't have to be eating the same food as most families eat like soup with rice as rice is the most common for families to eat as it's easier to get and got for a family. Many mothers try the absolute best so their child can have a better education than what they had but yet the mother still comes against problems in money and having that language barrier.

Works Cited

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