Essay on Okonkwo in 'Things Fall Apart'

Different disconnects between people of the Ibo village have a strong effect on their personality. The disconnection between Unoka, Okonkwo, and Nwoye is also rooted in lots of opposition. First, let’s talk about Unoka who is Okonkwo’s dad. Hears a quote from chapter one. “In his day he was lazy and improvident and was quite incapable of thinking about tomorrow” (Achebe 4). This quote from the first chapter gives details on how Unoka lived his lifestyle. Unoka’s personality was shaped by his father’s actions and his ways of life. Unoka was a shameless man and was the opposite of hardworking. Unoka saw his wife and children go hungry, he borrowed money, lost money, and was just a pure failure in life. He was also a debtor and died without paying any of his neighbors back. He was considered such a failure that he was incapable of thinking about the next day of life. He also feared the sight of blood and fell for weakness which is one trait that Unoka’s son Okonkwo does not desire. “People laughed at him because he was a loafer, and they swore never to lend him any more money because he never paid back” (Achebe 5). The only good things that Unoka had was that he had a gift for love and language and he loved to drink. Drinking was like a passion, he found happiness with these two traits that he had. It was also said that he was a good flute player as well. Unoka’s father brought him into the world at the bottom, and he remained there his entire life. Unoka Somehow followed the role of his father knowing that he had failed him. This indeed becomes a serious cycle because Unoka would do the same trait to the next generational father.

Now Unoka and Okonkwo’s relationship was different in many ways. There was a quote that says “Okonkwo did not have the start in life which many young men usually had” (Achebe 16). Okonkwo was placed into the world with nothing to his name. Unoka was a man of disgrace and pure failure. Having brought Okonkwo into the world, he left his son at the very bottom of the world. This is a passed-down trait. When Unoka died, he left Okonkwo nothing just like Unoka had done him when he passed away. Here’s where some of the same similarities stop when Okonkwo is fighting and working ahead to bring his social awareness to a higher standard. This is something that Okonkwo wanted to do for himself and his future because obviously, Unoka and his old man never intended on becoming a successful and hardworking man in society. They caused disgrace and pure misery to the village and their families.

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This all starts with Okonkwo’s lack of respect for his father Unoka, who was a wonderful musician but horrible as a provider and father. In other words, Unoka wasn’t very “Masculine.” He didn’t find a way to provide for the family he loved based on his skills and strengths. This type of behavior shames Okonkwo, and, as a result, he develops motivation to go in a new direction. Okonkwo becomes excessively masculine to distance himself from the man who neglected him. He’s doing what any son would do, find who you are and not succeed in failure like the man before you or generations before your time. So he starts exploring success.

Okonkwo is known as a wrestling champion, he brought honor to his village by beating Amalinze the Cat in a wrestling contest. He is also a skilled warrior and characterized as a good hero in many people’s eyes. Okonkwo became a skilled yam farmer, this skill turned into wealth for himself and his family. Over time, Okonkwo had three wives and children. The one child that he expects more out of is his son Nwoye. His hut which is called Obi, is strong and respected. As well. Okonkwo has worked very hard to get where he is and never wants to look back at the past.

Even though Okonkwo is successful, he has some downfalls about himself. He is influential in his tribe and rules power over his three wives and children with an iron fist. He would even ignore certain tribal traditions to display his manliness. For Example, Okonkwo beats his youngest wife for her negligence in not preparing dinner during the week of peace, despite violence being forbidden during that time. (Achebe 38) Okonkwo has made progress by not following Unoka’s footsteps when it comes to success but has encountered different mistakes. Okonkwo was ruled by one passion, to hate everything that Unoka had loved like Gentleness, Kindness, and being a patient man. Okonkwo was the pure opposite, he became angry at people like his father who weren’t aggressive like him. His father Unoka showed emotion all the time. Okonkwo never showed any emotion openly, unless it was the emotion of anger. (Achebe 28) To me, that’s great that he wants to be better, but his personality is awful.

Another sad event that is passed on from Unoka to Okonkwo is that they both die in the evil forest but have different deaths. Unoka dies from an abominable illness and his corpse is thrown into the evil forest. Okonkwo takes his own life by hanging himself from a tree. His body was considered evil just like his father Unoka and was thrown into the evil forest by strangers because only strangers could touch the body because it was full of pure evil and despair. Okonkwo strived to be everything that his father was not and tirelessly worked to become a revered man in his village of Umuofia. But it just became a cycle which comes to the saying Like Father like Son. They were completely similar and different all at once. Unoka was weak and a failure at everything he did. Okonkwo hated his father’s ways and tried to be another person but his personality, anger, and aggressiveness got in the way of him ever being a better man. They both ended up on the wrong path of life and tragically could not overcome the demons that were haunting their bodies. Think of what the father-son generation could have been if turned around.

According to Psychology Today, “Being a father is life’s fullest expression of masculinity. But for many males, life consists of a search for the lost father.” This quote spoke to me because I think about Unoka and he was not masculine like males are supposed to be. He was considered a weak person and never stood up for his family or himself. He was a loafer, just trying to get what he could find. Okonkwo saw what he was doing and didn’t want that to be him. So Okonkwo was out looking for a difference and change from his father because he knew that Unkoa was nobody. That’s particularly why Okonkwo made bad mistakes during his life because he had no one to show him how to become a man of success but with a great attitude and humbleness. His personality was messed up and he wasn’t able to open up his feelings to people, especially to the ones he loved. So it’s almost like Okonkwo was looking for something that was never there and just like he’s different from Unoka. Nwoye, Okonkwo’s son is different too.

Okonkwo is a man of pure expectation and it’s no surprise that Okonkwo has specific expectations for how his son Nwoye should behave. Nwoye is the total opposite of his father Okonkwo, he’s artistic, sensitive, and emotional. These three characteristics make it difficult for Okonkwo to connect with Nwoye. Okonkwo is a man of strength and power with lots of fearless tension, but because Nwoye is the complete opposite he becomes disappointed in his son. Okonkwo is far apart from a true father-son connection, he even wishes that his favorite child, who is a girl, were his son so he could celebrate her as rightful heirs should be. This shows that Okonkwo can’t see any other personality other than his and he wants Nwoye to follow in the same footsteps. But Nwoye wants to be his person and Okonkwo can’t accept change or difference in his son. The father-son connection of Okonkwo and Nwoye fails because the father won’t expect his son for who he is and this angers Okonkwo. Nwoye wants to look up to his father, but he wants to have his freedom and be his person in society. That’s all he wants.

Eventually, trying to live up to Okonkwo’s strict expectations causes Nwoye to betray his father by converting to Christianity amid Okonkwo’s quest to chase the missionaries away from the village. This disconnects the two even further away from one another because Nwoye finally shows that he’s not going to be something that he’s not. Deep down I feel that Nwoye will always love his father, but as long as Okonkwo wants Nwoye to follow his lead, the connection will be lost and continue to fall apart. In addition, the religion is more appealing to Nwoye’s personality than some of the harsh practices and beliefs of Okonkwo. It’s sad but true.

Nwoye and Unoka are similar to one another, which creates the generational tension between father and son. Okonkwo resents his father Unoka for being a failure as well as being sensitive. He resents Nwoye because of his effeminate ways and is rather lazy, while Nwoye believes that Okonkwo is very aggressive and unsympathetic towards situations, family, and life. Similar to the way that Okonkwo strived to become the exact opposite of his father. Essentially, Okonkwo’s terrible relationship with Unkoa is replicated by Nwoye’s terrible relationship with his father. In other words, each son desperately tries to become the exact opposite of their father, which only exacerbates their relationship issues. This is truly a generational trait passed down.

For example in the movie Fences (2017), one can observe that the relationships that exist between Troy and Cory, Troy and his father, and Troy and Lyon do not flourish in love. In each relationship, the son tries to escape from the restraints that their dad put on them. This is just like Okonkwo putting a restraint against his son Nwoye for not being the man he wants him to be. Okonkwo wants Nwoye to be as strong as him, not a sensitive human being. Unoka on the other hand had a restraint on his son because he led Okonkwo to slip to an early death in the Evil Forest. Even though Okonkwo was successful, he wasn’t sharp enough to overcome some of his demons. This shows that each son has resentment of their father and pays the price.

According to the “express, Men in previous generations may have struggled with whether to hug or kiss their boys.” This quote speaks to me a lot because Okonkwo struggled to show effeminate love towards Nwoye. Hugging and kissing your son should be normal to fathers if you love your son. This shows the son that you’re not afraid to show your true expression even if you believe strongly in masculinity. It then can speak to Unoka because he never was able to express his effeminate ways towards Okonkwo. After all, he was too ashamed and just didn’t know how.

In closing, the father-son relationships tell that there marred by conflicts created by awful personalities and values. Neither Unkoa, Okonkwo nor Nwoye was ever able to find any happiness within their relationships with their fathers because there was always an expectation or fallback. Each generation could have built positive landmarks not just for themselves but for their futures. If Unkoa, Okonkwo, and Nwoye can see past the shamefulness, bitterness, and confusion then maybe each father-son relationship could have worked in the favor of loving another by expression. But because each relationship wasn’t handled in a caring manner, a cycle will forgo for generations to come until a father and son can understand each other’s values.

Work Cited

1. Achebe, Chinua. “Things Fall Apart.” New York: Anchor, 1994. Print.
2. Washington, Denzel, Scott Ridin, Todd Black, August Wilson, Viola Davis, Stephen Henderson, Jovan Adepo, Russell Hornsby, Mykelti Williamson, Saniyya Sidney, Charlotte B. Christensen, David Gropman, Hughes Winborne, Sharen Davis, and Marcelo Zarvos. Fences. 2017.
3. Pittman, Frank. “Fathers and Sons.” Psychology Today. Sussex Publishers. 2019.
4. Uexpress. “Parents Talk Back: What Makes some Father-Son Relationships So Difficult.” 16 June 2014.