It is common knowledge that a person's parents have a significant effect on their life and shape that child to be the way they are. In some situations, the father is the bedrock of the protagonist. In others, he is the reason some bad happens to the protagonist or the antagonist. Unfortunately, it is the latter in the book. Things fall apart. The main character Okonkwo had a father named Unoka. He was described as a horrible father, not because he beat or abused him. Unoka neglected Okonkwo to the point that he did not know if he was going to eat tomorrow. Okonkwo had even grown up to hate his father and wanted to undo all he had done. However, in the end, Okonkwo and Unoka had much more in common than one would reasonably think. They both died in a very disrespectful way to their clan, and they faced hardships in their life. Finally, both had abused their children.
In Ibo culture, the way a man dies is just as important as how he lived. Both Okonkwo and Unoka had died in very disrespectful ways in their culture. Neither of them could even have a proper burial because of how they both died. In the book, it states that “Then they came to the tree from which Okonkwo's body was dangling, and they stopped dead”(Achebe 191). This quote explains that Okonkwo died by suicide. The next quote describes why this is horrible in their culture. “...It is an abomination for a man to take his own life”(Achebe 191). This means that the Ibos view suicide as a very heinous crime. The next quote says why. “It is an offense against the Earth… His body is evil, and only strangers may touch it”(Achebe 191). All these quotes mean that Okonkwo had disgraced himself by committing suicide. committing suicide is also wrong because this is how he will be remembered for generations. Likewise, Unoka had also died horribly. This quote explains how he died. “He died of swelling, which was an abomination to the earth goddess. When a man was afflicted with swelling in the stomach and the limbs, he was not allowed to die in the house. He was carried to the Evil forest and left there to die”(Achebe 26) This quote explains that Unoka had died of an illness which is seen as an abomination to their god. This may also be a punishment of Hubris to Unoka since he lived such a horrible life and had been cunning and deceived others out of their money. In the end, Okonkwo and Unoka both died in the worst ways possible and will be remembered for that for generations.
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Back then in the late 1800s, African life was not easy, and many people faced hardships. This is especially true for Unoka. This quote explains one of the hardships he faced. “If any money came his way, and it seldom did…”(Achebe 14). This quote shows that Unoka was very poor and rarely had any money come his way. The rest of the quote says. “...he immediately bought gourds of palm wine, called round his neighbors and made merry”(Achebe 14). This tells us that even when he made money he spent it on alcohol and threw parties instead of saving and making more money. This quote will explain where Unoka got his money. “Unoka was, of course, a debtor, and he owed every neighbor some money, from a few cowries to quite substantial amounts”(Achebe 14). This shows us that he probably did not have a job and solely relied on getting money from other people, which gave him a very hard time raising capital. This quote explains how Unoka’s life was most of the time. “In his day he was lazy and improvident and was quite incapable of thinking about tomorrow”(Achebe 14). This concludes that because of his poor money habits, led to hardships, and he was not even sure if he was going to eat tomorrow. Just like Unoka, Okonkwo also faced a considerable amount of hardships in his life. However, Okonkwo did not suffer that many money problems, unlike Unoka, he faced more mental challenges. This quote will provide background on Okonkwo's hardships. “Okonkwo never showed any emotion openly unless it is the emotion of anger. To show affection was a sign of weakness; the only thing worth demonstrating was a strength”(Achebe 36). This is an issue with Okonkwo personally because it will affect his entire life, and cause immense hardships in the years to come with this as his outlook on life. This quote is an example of this affecting his life and causing hardships. “Dazed with fear, Okonkwo drew his machete and cut him down. He was afraid of being thought weak”(Achebe 65). This quote explains Okonkwo’s hardships mentally with how insecure he is to the point of striking down someone not because he had to, but because he was so afraid of being seen as weak. All this evidence points to the fact that Okonkwo and Unoka are similar in that they both faced rough hardships because of their actions.
Finally, Okonkwo and Unoka both abused their children. However, the type of abuse they did was extremely different. First thing first, Unoka, as far as we know did not become physically abusive to Okonkwo or his wife. However, he extremely neglected them. According to Harvard University, “Science shows that early exposure to maltreatment or neglect can disrupt healthy development and have lifelong consequences”(“Neglect”). Disrupting mental health is most definitely a form of abuse. There are numerous examples of Unoka doing this in the book. This quote exemplifies one “He was poor and his wife and children had barely enough to eat”(Achebe 15). Earlier in the essay, it is mentioned that the reason Unoka is poor is because of his own bad decisions. This means that he is intentionally making these bad decisions that will cause his family to suffer. This is a form of abuse on his children because they have barely enough to eat, which will cause mental and physical problems. One of Unoka’s children is Okonkwo, and we can see the psychological toll his father took on him. This quote exemplifies that toll. “...ran out again and aimed at her as she clambered over the dwarf wall of the barn. He pressed the trigger, and there was a loud report accompanied by the wail of his wives and children”(Achebe 28). In this scene in the book Okonkwo fully intended to shoot his wife; however, since he had such a lousy shot, the gun luckily missed. This shows how Unoka's severe neglect of Okonkwo translates into pure anger that he takes out on his family. All this shows how Unoka abused Okonkwo. Next is Okonkwo; his form of abuse is a lot more direct in he hits his children quite often, as seen in the book. This quote shows one example. “Nwoye overheard and burst into tears, whereupon his father beat him heavily”(Achebe 62). The context of this quote is that Nwoye overheard that his closest friend was going to be killed, and promptly, he felt sad and cried. Okonkwo, however, did not deem this acceptable and beat him very hard. At the time, Nwoye was still a young boy, so this type of behavior is to be expected, but Okonkwo still beat him, which would have harmful impacts on Nwoye later in his life. This is another example. “Answer me, roared Okonkwo, ‘before I kill you!’”(Achebe 145) He seized a heavy stick that lay on the dwarf wall and hit him with two or three savage blows.” The context of this quote is that Nwoye had been going to the missionary's church, which had been invading the village. Since Okonkwo did not like this, he savagely beat Nwoye and could have even killed him. Later in that same scene, the narrator says “...Nwoye, who walked away and never returned”(Achebe 145) This shows that because of Okonkwo's abusive behavior, permanently damaged their relationship beyond repair, and now Nwoye will never come back. In all Unoka and Okonkwo had abused their children.
Despite all the efforts Okonkwo had made to be the opposite of his dad. In the end, they lived pretty similar lives and had more in common than at first glance. As they say “like father like son.” They both died in the most disrespectful ways to their clan. Okonkwo committed suicide and Unoka got the swelling disease. They faced immense hardships in their lives. Okonkwo coping with the trauma he received as a child and having his irrational behavior control his decisions. Unoka is an irresponsible adult who yearns to live like a child again. Finally their abusiveness towards their children, Okonkwo who savagely beat his sons, and Unoka who neglected them to the point in which they barely had enough to survive. No matter how different they seem on the outside in the big picture they live the same life.