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What is loss? Mostly, it is a loss that teaches us about the worthiness of the jewels we had, the valuables we did not cherish enough, and the star that left us to fly high to the moon. Loss comes in many shapes and forms, for some, it is losing your rubber, losing your phone, or maybe even losing your house keys. To me, this dreadful bereaving, mourning loss is the loss of my loved one. Losing a loved one is like an ice cream snatched off a kid, it is like a rug swept up from underneath you. Death is sudden and unexpected. We only recognize it merely after it has placed our hands on someone we love and respect. Death is serious, people do not realize this till they experience the loss of a loved one. Death makes you question the meaning of life, it made me question my faith and deeper questions that cannot be answered but only believed. This loss was like no other, she was my best friend. We had a unique relationship that was noticeable. She could be difficult with her ways, we had our differences due to generation differences and understanding, but she was the glue to our family. She was the most loving, caring, giving, and delightful person you could ever meet. She was the most accepting, insightful, and adoring person anyone would ever ask for. It is entirely true what they say, you can never understand what losing a loved one is really like until you experience it.
When I was younger, visiting my grandma’s house was the pinnacle of my week, I would look forward to when my family and I would go visit my grandma’s house. I would enthusiastically get dressed in my best clothes and get ready for our journey. Although my grandma lived 300km away, the journey felt very short. We used to visit her weekly. Her house was extremely fun. Not only I, but all my relatives also gathered on the festive holy Friday at my grandma’s house. When we all gathered, we would have fun, eat, and chill, the adults would conversate and the kids would play. She was the pillar of our families; she was the reason we all gathered and united. Without her, those gatherings would not be possible. My grandma was a loving, caring, affectionate, and gifting character. She was a role model to me and all my cousins. If feeling down, you were shortly exuberant due to her kind compassionate words. Her soft mellifluous voice would bring joy to any ear and abolish all the anxiety concerning you. Sitting with her you were made to feel like a king, her positive energy was immaculate, her sense of humor was uplifting, and her face was like a scintillating star. Leaving my grandma’s house on Friday night resulted in sweat falling from my eyes throughout the very long journey back home.
It was a festive optimistic start to the day, my mum’s birthday. The sun was smiling and shining while I was waking up in anticipation of wishing my mum a happy birthday. Going to school that day, I was reinvigorated and full of energy, almost like the day was a bit too good. The bell for lunchtime rang and I made my way back home for lunch. As I entered my street, a resonant, plangent shriek echoed throughout the street. The sky was pouring tears and thunder was rumbling. As I took the approaching steps towards my house, the crying was louder and clearer. As my brother opened the door, he confronted me in a deeply relaxed manner informing me my grandma had passed away. I collapsed down, bursting with tears and struggling to breathe. Tears were flowing like a fountain. Loud wailing commenced when the call of death was received from the doctor. I was crying in disbelief that my hero and role model had passed away, almost like I was in a dream pinching my wrist. The building has collapsed as the pillar holding it has broken and deceased. The only person who was exceedingly more heartbroken than me was my mother. The mother of my mother has passed away. Losing a mother is like a sky falling for my mum, as I said this experience cannot be explained till experienced. The positive ambiance of my house decreased massively. This was because a big part of our motivation, drive, and happiness had been snatched away from us, and we knew we couldn’t do anything about it. That was the painful element.
This loss was soon to come, but it came too soon. This loss was a learning stage, it has taught me lots, every second wasted is lost and cannot be bought back nor worked for, enjoy every second with your loved ones, as in a literal glimpse of a second God can steal our gems and loved ones to put them in a place of their highness which they muchly deserve. A place that can only be granted to amazing souls like my grandma. A lesson that I have yet to comprehend is that ‘life moves on’. In a way or another, this is the matter for most losses, though, for me, life will never be the same. I will never be able to have the lovely moments that I had with my grandma, nor to relive them. I can only reminisce on the sweet nostalgias. However, reminiscing on those good days has me losing sleep. I will never forget this loss as it has left a huge scar that is uncurable and will never be redeveloped. Although mourning is still a matter for me, I know my grandma wants me to move on and be happy as life is too short to live in devastation, we should cherish every day and thank God for his blessings. I started rethinking my decisions and whether I spent every second wisely with my loved one. A new life must be adapted to, this is largely overwhelming as there are now no grandma's Fridays, no fun, no gatherings, and the most bereaving thing is there is no grandma. I will forever still say that I know I am not alone, my grandma is still with me when it gets cold, and I feel her spirit.
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