Love. The dictionary definition is ‘an intense feeling of deep affection’ but it presents itself to many people in different ways at different times. For most they are smothered with love as soon as they are born and this continues into their growth into and out of childhood. Children have been surrounded by love through their exposure of many movies from Disney which originated the unrealistic expectations they now face in daily life. This mind-set then grew with the children into the romantic comedy genre where their expectations were expanded by the knowledge of what their life could be if they lived like the characters. People are then exposed to the romantic movies that have produced various stereotypes which is proved to be unattainable in real life. The Bechdel Test prove this to be true and was able to convey the troubles people can face due to the lack of representation of women speaking on anything other than men on film. Finally, the expectations vs realities caused by the romantic films will be explored to prove that romantic movies higher the expectations of love to its viewers.
Since 1937, Walt Disney Studios have been releasing various movies that include princesses. Princesses of any colour, all of them having their own stories and characteristics which make them individual and more relatable to the young viewers across the world. However, one common theme involved in each film that links all of these movies together is love. In the conclusion of every movie including the princesses- excluding ‘Brave’- they all end with their Prince Charming. The one. The love of their lives. I would call this the root of the problem to all the people who hold high expectations to their love life. Most who grew up with the Disney movies now have the expectations that their lives will resemble a princesses. They dream to one day be swept off their feet by their Prince Charming, who is unrealistically handsome which adds to the expectations, and live happily ever after. As we have all grown older those expectations have stuck with us but in different forms. Many believe in love in first sight, while others believe it is ludicrous but everyone shares the belief that our lives should be like a fairy-tale. Which isn’t the case. The ideas of the Disney movies have slowly developed into the romantic teen movies we all know and love. Movies such as, ‘To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before’ have the shared innocence of Disney movies but have seemed to grow up with the viewers. This has caused a connection between the viewers and the characters making the lives of the characters feel more relatable. This has caused men and woman to feel like their lives should be like the perfect lives carried out by the beloved characters they have grown with.
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The romantic movies that have so far been created (and yet to be created) portray numerous stereotypes which are in no way attainable in real life. For example, one aspect included in nearly every single romantic movie is love at first sight. It’s a classic. It can vary from movie to movie like in ‘West Side Story’ were Tony and Maria lock eyes at a dance which causes them to be so entranced by one another everyone else in the room seems to fade away. However, who is really going to find their soulmate by locking eyes with a stranger through a fish tank which is portrayed in ‘Romeo +Juliet’? It has been stated by Lindsay Geller, who wrote an article on ‘How to Love Rom-Coms without Falling for the Unrealistic Expectations They Set’, that love at first sight is in fact lust at first sight. This reinforces the stereotypes as it is highly unlikely to know a person’s history just by catching their eye from across the room. Another aspect included in romantic movies is the outlook that once you are involved in a relationship every problem you have will be resolved. Many believe that if you have a problem in life then you should involve yourself in a relationship which will make you forever problem free. This belief can be perceived as somewhat self-destructive as there is no way that a relationship can fix your problems, it may fix one but it isn’t possible to fix all troubles. A study took place at Heriot Watt University in Edinburgh discovered that many people had the common view that “if someone is meant for you, then they should know what you want without you needing to tell them”. This expands on the false perception caused by romantic movies as the people who believe this assume that their relationships should be perfect like the ones they have grown with in movies and probably won’t know how to cope once they find out that life doesn’t always have a happy ending.
The Bechdel Test is a test created by Alison Bechdel in 1985 which evaluates if or if not a work of film is portraying women in a stereotypical way. The only way to pass this test is to feature at least two women on camera conversing without that conversation being about a man. It sounds quite simple doesn’t it? But a number of drastically different movies fail on many aspects in order to pass. Movies such as, ‘Avatar’, ‘Gravity’ and ‘The Avengers’ don’t pass the requirements which seems odd as they aren’t romantic movies, but even various romantic movies don’t pass due to the lack of conversations between women on something other than men. This reinforces the stereotypes of woman, especially in film, revolving their lives around men. This then makes the viewers subconsciously only speak about men and end up facing trouble when talking about anything other than this as they have hardly seen otherwise. The lack of real conversation highlights the amount of impact caused by the romantic movies as it allows women to believe that they need to be with a man in order to be happy which gives them a false perspective of real life and relationships.
The genre of romance movies has left both men and women riddled with expectations of their love lives. It has left many yearning for the perfect relationship which will in every way ‘complete’ them. Many have connected with the view that once you’re in a relationship nothing will ever go wrong but in reality you can’t expect your partner to be perfect. It takes two to achieve a healthy relationship as you need to develop trust in each other and an understanding nobody is perfect as mentioned by Elite Daily’s article on the ‘Expectations vs Reality: 7 Romantic Myths about Relationships Debunked’. An amazing example of expectations caused by romance films vs the reality of the situation is a scene in the film ‘(500) Days of Summer’. The scene begins with Tom’s expectations on one half of the screen and his reality at the opposite but slightly delayed. His expectations play out with Tom spending the perfect night with Summer at the party. However, the reality of Toms experience at the party resulted in the reveal that Summer, his unrequited love, is actually engaged to another man which caused Tom to deteriorate. This is a direct result of his unrealistic expectations of love caused by the romantic movies he had watched as a child. The movie as a whole is remarkably relatable to anyone who suffer from this and it exemplifies that both genders, not just women, suffer from the consequences of high expectations. This is a common situation faced by normal people in real life due to their exposure of the false happy endings carried out by men and women in romantic movies.
In conclusion, the public exposure towards romantic movies higher the populations expectations towards love. This is caused by the impact of Disney movies in childhood and the growth of those movies to coming of age romantic movies. Additionally, the unattainable stereotypes produced by these movies and the proof provided by the Bechdel test impact the expectations. Finally, the portrayal of romance and happy endings causes numerous expectations which don’t match with the reality of real life. Many people face this problem in their daily life and if those people can notice what is causing the expectations they could begin to try improve their perspective and eradicate those false outlooks.
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