Every day, we hear the term ‘love’ in several different situations. So, what really is love? According to Shakespeare, in Sonnet 116, the first quatrain describes love as an unchangeable force in the lines “Love is not love/ Which alters when it alteration finds,/ Or bends with the remover to remove:/ O no! it is an ever-fixed mark”. Shakespeare enforces the fact that true love always perseveres, no matter what it’s up against by using the metaphor, “That looks on tempests and is never shaken” in the second quatrain. In the third quatrain, he asserts that love doesn’t care for outer beauty that fades with time, because true love goes beyond such boundaries. So, it’s a tale as old as time – everyone has always described love as an emotion that can completely change one’s life and happiness. This leads to the question: is love worth fighting for?
Scott Fitzgerald’s ‘The Great Gatsby’ inspired my question. ‘The Great Gatsby’ is a novel, filled with romance and drama, exploring the decadence of the roaring 20s, featuring Jay Gatsby and his rags-to-riches journey for the sake of the love of his life, Daisy Buchanan. Gatsby was training to be a military officer when he met Daisy. He adored her beauty, grace, and luxury and fell in love when he first met her, so he fabricates his past to prove he was good enough for her. Although she loves Gatsby, she ends up marrying Tom Buchanan because she believed he can make her happy with his money; he was a Yale graduate who came from a family of old money. ‘Old money’ families were those that have been building their fortunes since the 19th century leading to powerful and influential social connections. Tom had everything Gatsby needed. However, her marriage didn’t stop him – Gatsby was so dedicated to winning Daisy back that he was willing to earn money through organized crime such as bootlegging and trading stolen securities. He put his freedom at risk for Daisy.
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Eventually, he’s a millionaire with a sumptuous mansion in West Egg. West Egg symbolized new money competing against old money that took Daisy away from him. Across the mansion, Gatsby could see Tom and Daisy’s house in East Egg, which again symbolized old money. He earned all the money possible, but he couldn’t buy his way into old money – it was a birthright. Although the social class was a gigantic obstacle, it couldn’t stop him. Every weekend, Gatsby hosted opulent parties at his mansion inviting hundreds of people. His guests are in awe of his Rolls-Royce, enormous pool, and a generous supply of alcohol, but none of them know who Gatsby is, and it doesn’t seem to bother him, because all he cares about is whether Daisy notices his ostentatiously lavish parties.
Through both his actions and words, it is evident Gatsby cherishes Daisy. However, the same cannot be said for her. When they reunite, it is indefinite if she loves Gatsby or his wealth. For instance, as Gatsby shows off her luxurious mansion to her, she breaks down when she sees his enormous wardrobe full of opulent brands and says, “It makes me sad because I've never seen such beautiful shirts before”, portraying her materialism. Later in the book, her materialism is highlighted when she’s unable to choose between Gatsby and Tom.
Irrespective of Daisy’s confusion, Gatsby’s love for her stays strong. Daisy is driving his car back from the Plaza Hotel, after rejecting Gatsby, when Myrtle runs onto the road in front of the car. Daisy is so upset that she doesn’t notice what’s in front of her and hits Myrtle, Tom Buchanan’s mistress, on the highway. This incident proves Gatsby’s commitment to Daisy because he immediately says he’ll take the blame for Myrtle’s death to protect Daisy. In fact, he does take the blame for her when he is killed by Myrtle’s husband who believes it was Gatsby’s fault. Therefore, Gatsby yearningly built his whole life around her. He sacrificed everything for her, but she didn’t take responsibility for her actions, even after Gatsby’s death. His life ended in vain, as she continued living her pretentious and luxurious life with Tom. His love was not worth the risk.
A contrary explanation is William Shakespeare’s tale of forbidden love – ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Their story is perhaps one of the most famous – one that some crave. Their commitment to each other has no boundaries, just as described in Sonnet 116. Their rebellion against their families proves their determination to preserve their love, at all costs. In the play, Juliet fakes her death so she can run away with Romeo. However, Romeo thinks she’s actually dead because he doesn’t receive her message, and in response kills himself using poison. When Juliet sees Romeo dead beside her, she tries to kiss his lips so she’s poisoned by the same poison as him, but it doesn’t work, so she stabs herself with the help of his dagger. This is a perfect example of fighting for true love, no matter how hard it gets.
Throughout the play, it is asserted that they would rather not be alive if they are not together. In Act 4, Scene 3, Juliet hesitates for a second to take the sleep potion because she’s worried that it might be real poison. She understands and is terrified by the horrors and pain of death, expressed through the line: “The horrible conceit of death and night,/ Together with the terror of the place—/ As in a vault, an ancient receptacle/ Where, for these many hundred years the bones/ Of all my buried ancestors are packed:/ Where bloody Tybalt, yet but green in earth,/ Lies festering in his shroud; where, as they say,/ At some hours in the night spirits resort—/ Alack, alack, is it not like that I,/ So early waking, what with loathsome smells,/ And shrieks like mandrakes' torn out of the earth,/ That living mortals, hearing them, run mad”. She pictures gruesome corpses, including her cousin Tybalt, surrounding her. Her choice of words ‘horrible’, ‘terror’, ‘loathsome smells’, and ‘run mad’ undeniably portray the level of fear she is feeling. Furthermore, she uses the simile ‘shrieks like mandrakes’ which emphasizes her distress, because a mandrake was believed to be a poisonous plant that shrieked when pulled from the ground, and the sound of the shriek could lead to death or madness. However, she gathers her courage and drinks the potion because a world without Romeo is a world not worth living in for her. Moreover, in the end, when she takes her life, she does not hesitate the way she did when taking the sleeping potion, this proves how much she loves Romeo.
Nonetheless, their love changed their morals, value, and loyalties. It turned into a violent emotion that led to nothing but mayhem. So, no matter how much they treasured each other, their love ended their lives. An individual who wasn’t a part of their journey may believe that their love wasn’t worth it, because what is more significant than life itself?
According to ‘Romeo and Juliet’, it was worth it because nothing they valued each other more than they valued themselves as individuals. In Act 5, Scene 3, Romeo believes death to be a chance at love because it was the only way for him to be with Juliet forever. Furthermore, on a large scale, their love solved a feud between the Montagues and the Capulets and brought peace to the city of Verona. Therefore, it may have been imperfect, but Romeo and Juliet believed in their love and fought for it, which made it worth the sacrifices.
In 2014, 38% of marriages in the United States of America ended in divorce. So, are people that were once in love falling out of love and ending their marriages? Or are they simply unwilling to fight for their love anymore? Three of the most common reasons for a divorce are lack of intimacy, constant arguing, and lack of communication. These are all causes that can be dealt with by putting in effort and time. Nonetheless, according to statistics, these divorcees disagree and do not believe their love was worth fighting for anymore. Although, traditional marriage counseling has a success rate of 70 to 80%. This proves that the couples that believed in each other and worked hard to get through their problems for their love are now together and happy. Moreover, some couples have been together until the very end– this does not mean they had it easy, it means they overcame their obstacles.
This leads to the question – when couples overcome infidelity or lack of intimacy, are they truly happy or are they settling? For example, if a couple has been together for over 10 years and their ‘spark’ has faded but they’re still together – are they together because they believe they have to be? I believe the spark fades because they get into a rut. They’re no longer putting in effort in the little things like romantic date nights or trying to impress each other. Instead, they lose their emotional connection because they may be living together but they’re no longer emotionally connected. However, this is not always true, several couples stay happily married and still enjoy the little things together – saying ‘I love you’, appreciating each other, and remembering important dates. They still have everyday life things to do, such as chores, going to work, and sending the kids to school, but this doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy each other’s company or support while doing it.
Everyone has a couple in their lives that has been together forever, or they just simply adore the couple. For me, it’s my grandparents – I idolize them. They may not have great dramatized love, but when they’re together, they’re happy. It’s been 47 years, so they’ve had their fair share of problems. Once, I asked them if they’d change anything, and both of them said they wouldn’t have it any other way because their struggles added to both their characters as individuals and their relationship – it brought them closer together and it proved they can always trust each other.
The depth of a couple’s love, their determination, and the severity of their problems drastically affect the question as no couple is the same – everyone has a different kind of love and a different set of problems. As well as not everyone may believe the same thing due to their own set of beliefs and values. Let’s consider Romeo and Juliet, their love didn’t make sense to the outside world so they believe it wasn’t worth it. Love doesn’t always have a fairytale ending, but that’s okay because nothing in this world is perfect. Sometimes, however, it may be beyond repair because you don’t care for them or don’t trust them anymore.
But, if you’re ready to put in work or fight against all odds for your love and happiness, it is worth it. If you truly love someone and care for them, why would you ever stop fighting for them? Fighting for your love proves that it’s important to you and impacts your happiness. Therefore, I believe love is real when you don’t give up, even though it’s not easy. The problem arises when you’re not fighting for your love anymore because then you don’t want it bad enough. Therefore, I think love is something worth fighting for as long as you believe in it.
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