All over society, values, and ethics surround us and build on our way of living with one another. The three core values I believe play a very meaningful role in my life are family, respect, and long-lasting happiness. These three important values are the principles of a person’s standards of behavior to determine what actions are best to do or what way is best to live. What is Ethics? Ethics is simply the moral principle or values that deals with what is good and bad. (Norris, n.d.) states “Good morals lead to good laws” followed by the popular Golden rule “Treat others as you want to be treated”. Whereas bad morals would be considered as murder, stealing, committing crimes, and any intention of wrong activity.
Ethics and values, I use mostly based on my cultural background being Nepali is respect. Being a Hindu, most of our ethics, morals, and values come from the same position as everyone else’s. Grandparents, parents, aunts and uncles, friends, and friends of the families. We Hindus mostly come from South Asian countries, where people with a strong heritage, cultures, and beliefs live. I was raised in a regular family and had major ups and downs in my adolescence which taught me a lot about my values and ethics. My parents, especially my grandparents who instructed Nepali history regularly taught me countless things about our religion, not only about our Gods but also about our values, standards, and family of origin. Similarly, my relatives, friends, and neighbors are also a source of high-principled value. I come from a middle-class family, who are drastically generous and religious. To practice my values every day, I read various religious books, Hindu holy books known as the ‘Vedas’ written in Sanskrit to guide myself and to protect the religious importance of my family and society. ‘The Vedas’ we believe in are meant to be received by people who are wise directly from God which is passed onto the next generations. My family values consist of actions and qualities such as happiness, family, and respect for others. Each of these values is equally important in my family’s life, which makes me the person I am today. Respect starts at an early age in my culture. The elders teach us the basics of what ‘respect’ means to us. We are taught to say “dhanyavad”, meaning “thank you”, “hoina dhanyavad” meaning “no, thank you” and “Namaskar” meaning “I salute god with you”. We greet our elders by saying “Namaskar” by holding our palms together as if we are praying, which is considered to be one of the most attractive and addictive Nepalese customs. Of course, some of these are common and normal first steps to respect someone and are considered to be well-mannered. However, in Nepalese culture, these are used to acknowledge someone’s presence by showing appreciation and conveying gratitude. Respect is the very aspect that keeps everything holding in my life and my family’s upbringing impacted my current value system by raising me as a respectful person. I am known to have good manners and know how to respect people, as well as myself. For instance, since a very young age, I have been taught to be respectful by taking off my shoes before entering the ‘mandir’, not taking pictures unless an individual has asked for permission, and leaving a few rupees in the donation box, which again is a sign of respect I hold with me till this day to show the appreciation and attentiveness I carry towards my Gods. The role my Nepalese culture has played in my developing my values is that in my culture we are brought up to respect our elders since they are seen as the wise ones.
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My cultural background impacts me as a student at Bow Valley College by encouraging diversity in my school. My values, happiness, and family impact my time at college by receiving positive feedback and support from my family members. The first year is tough since everything is brand new to me but having support from my parents helped me into who I am today as a student here. My value of happiness being a student came from making new friends and getting to know everyone. Even now with the pandemic being a huge part of everyone’s daily life, I was able to adjust easily and get to know my peers via virtual classes. I know the classes are virtual, but even on my first day, I was nervous. Thoughts of wondering how others would view me, or how I would fit in constantly ran through my head. “What will others think of me?” “How will I make friends?” However, as days passed, I realized everyone was so respectful to me and it made me extremely happy getting to know these people knowing one day I will create memories with them that will stick with me for a lifetime. These are the values that have impacted me as a student at Bow Valley College.
Corey (2015) opined that “your values will affect your choice of a career path” (p. 25). The decisions we make are a reflection of our values and beliefs, and it impacts one’s behavior on how we will develop as a person and choose to live. In our society, this is presented by examples around us such as respect, consistency, compassion, and motivation. By presenting the value of respect, an individual is exhibiting consideration for a client’s feelings or wishes. This value will impact a person’s behavior and lifestyle by presenting civility, thoughtfulness, consideration, and politeness when around clients. This is an important value to live by in our society since it is part of the Golden Rule that goes the saying “Treat others as you want to be treated”.
Personally, for me, I admire the idea of working with clients that come from a different background than I do. In working with clients whose ethnic or cultural background is different from my own, it is my responsibility to show respect for them by not putting them in an uncomfortable position. I believe it is extremely important to engage actively when our clients bring us the topic they wish to talk about. Whether it is race, sexual orientation, gender, disability, religion, and socioeconomic status I think the concept of ‘multicultural counseling’ increases the population to grow more diverse by allowing a person to gain knowledge, sensitivity, and personal awareness of the clients bring into the therapeutic relationship. As a professional helper, learning about other cultures will help me understand different perspectives of the world we live in, help eliminate negative stereotypes, and gain more knowledge. However, while working with some clients, it can be a little challenging for me if they want to discuss and work on an issue that is against my belief system. Corey (2015) states “As your clients confront events that trigger their pain, memories of your own may be activated” (p. 42). There is no such thing as a perfect family. Similar to mine, every family is unique with its combination of advantages and disadvantages. At a very young age, my parents left me with my grandparents in Nepal due to low income. They went to Australia for a couple of years to find a job, since it was difficult to find any in Nepal around that time. As a young child, I never knew how much it hurt being neglected and away from my parents until I grew up and started attending school. Of course, my grandparents were there to support me, but being in my mother’s arms was a feeling I desperately craved each day. Similar to the saying “love is our mother; mother is the name for God and in hearts of children”. Growing up in Nepal with my grandparents was very tough from what I had expected. I would receive the love, but not the proper education to guide me toward my future. In school, the teacher would call out, ask me a question, and if I got the answer wrong, they would walk up to me, tell me to stand up, and hit me with a stick or a duster board in front of the entire class. It was humiliating, but that is just how Nepal works. All I did after was look down, let my tears drop on the paper, and never look up again. They believe kids have to “learn it the hard way” but do not realize how much damage it does to the person. I would receive no support from my aunts and uncles, making it challenging for me to pass my classes. They would constantly shout at me for not doing my work. I had to study by myself and my aunts and uncles, to this day I dislike always raising their hands at me. I would get abused. Physically and verbally every day leaving bruises on my body. There were so many times I wanted to run away, but just could not. All I thought about was my mother and father coming back for me to keep myself going. My value of family is something I admire dearly, but it is not perfect. I know I cannot impersonate my values on my client. However, speaking on family problems I strongly disagree with will cause me distress. Therefore, I do not feel that I will be beneficial to the client.
Growing up as an Asian is very difficult. For the majority of my life, I struggled tremendously with being abused by two of my family members. As a child, I suffered physical, verbal, and severe neglect. The neglect had a significant consequence, including a scar on my forehead from falling down the stairs. The verbal abuse includes name-calling and manipulation; the physical abuse – the kicking, slapping, and pushing. I can relate to the movie “Precious” on a personal level due to the mistreatment of a girl at such a young age. During school, she tries very hard to fit in the background; she dreams to be normal, hoping for long-lasting happiness, similar to the thoughts and feelings I had bottled up. If a client comes up to me with a similar problem regarding abuse, I am not sure how I would handle it. It is a very heavy topic and requires a lot of emotional support. However, as a helper, it is my responsibility to make sure I do not react so quickly toward my clients. To eliminate this, I will address my situation by avoiding actions that cause harm and being truthful to myself by recognizing personal triggers and signs. If I allow my values to get in the way of my client, the client’s liberty will be directly threatened, which can cause harm to the client by cheapening their personal beliefs and values. One way I would ensure that I am aware of my biases or cultural differences that may get in the way of someone I am working with is by getting to know them, respecting their culture, and sharing our cultural similarities and differences. This helps eliminate stereotypes. Getting to know someone rather than judging them off differences or stereotypes.
Ethics and values are what shape us into who we are today as a person and how we act in certain situations. Without Ethics and Values, I think that our society would be all over the place as people would not know their rights or wrongdoing. It is important to establish ethics and values to maintain a society where people should be able to function well with one another.
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