Grief is a part of your life that is lucidly unavoidable no matter the age of the person. When someone is grieving it can be over multiple different reasons. Many people think of death when someone states they are grieving but this is because many people have already experienced it and can relate to the grieving process themselves. Even though it is unavoidable from happening, there are ways we do get through it. These steps are known as the four-component model, and it helps to show how people go through the grieving stages. However, many people also begin to grieve when they are dying. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross explains her theory on dying based on the stages that many people go thought when they are dying. This also helps the family and peers of the person who is dying.
It does not matter what age you experience the meaning behind death and bereavement, but you will notice the differences between the meanings of them through out your lifespan. According to Cavanaugh, R. V. K. J. C. (2015) bereavement is a state and condition in someone’s life that is caused by the loss of an in did all from death. This is another word for the grief and mourning based on the meaning of life between culturally. During the life span of individuals, we all have different experiences on dying and bereavement at each point of our life. For children, the levels of cognitive development help them determine and learn how to cope with death. This is based on the the behaviors that are being demonstrated on the way they grief on the death. For adolescents, they are little different in the understand of death. Many adolescents have a problem comprehending and making sense of death and this causes them to severely react by bereavement. This age will need more of push to let out feelings about the lose of someone because they tend to bottle them emotions up.
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Adults deal with death a little more than any other age, on a different emotion level. As a young and middle ages adult, they may experience harder and more intensified feelings and emotions towards death. This is because they may have developed an attachment to that person who has passed. This also is a hard feeling time because many individuals will experience the loss of their parent will they are in their midlife age. This is a time where adults have a harder time adjusting and dealing with emotions and must learn to challenge their own humanity that is being affected. The feelings become very complex to cope with when someone in the middle-aged life loss a parent of a child of their own. The induvial will begin to remove adulthood and all the important aspects that come with that person because it hurts to have things around. However, the older adults usually are less concerned and nervous about death and deal with it much better than any other age. This relates more to their self and they still will mourn and cope differently after losing a child or their partner, but the relationship will influence the way that older adult’s grief and cope with the loss.
For a middle aged induvial they way that are affected by death can been shown by the four-component model to the grieving process at their life. This model demonstrates the four ways that individuals understand death according to Cavanaugh, R.V.K.J. C. (2015). For an individual they may nub and shocked and want to be left alone. This normally happens right after the death of someone. This is the beginning of the adult taking in the lose of the person and wondering why and how it could happen. The next thing that will happen is classified as yearning and scratching. This is the next phase and shoes the variety of emotions and confusion on what is really happening. Many people suffer the most in this phase and it is because it does not seem real and they wonder what could happen. The other stage is considered the initial acceptance phase. This is when someone is beginning to be disorganized and despair the loss of the person. This is when the person may feel weak and being to see that it is not a dream and reality is what had happened to the person.
In my adolescent years I had lost my grandpa due to cancer. This was in the year 2012 and it took me about 5 years to finally process the loss of him being real. During the being of the time when we knew he was going to die, my mother told me its best to get everything out that I need to emotionally. This was a hard time for me because he was the man who raised me to be the way I am today. When he died in hospice, I was extremely numb to the world. I did not want anyone talking and reaching out to me at that moment. I was the last one in the room and was shocked that I was the last one who he grabbed before he went off into the light. I questioned during this time why It had to happen to him and why I had to lose such a good man so early in life. This made me extremely sad, anger, disappoint and unimportant over the days of coping. IT did not really hit me that he died until a week later and this was the hardest time for me. I started the whole cycle over of weakness, numbness, being shocked and did not want to be messed with. I ended up having to get medical help to get me out of the grieving depression that I had drifted off too. This helped me cope and get out of the emotions I was in and she even helped me realize that we all die one day, and we must take each day like it is our last. This is what opened my eyes to reality, because I know my grandpa would not want to see me looking like a puff fish in the face over the loss of something.
Now death is not always about grieving. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross had a theory that is based on five stages that individuals go through about dying. The first stage is known as the denial stage. Denial is normally how many individuals get through the loss of someone. An example f denial in someone’s life would be if a doctor called you about blood work and said you had a serious disease; you would be in denial about it and assume it was a mix up of patient records. This stage is also when someone is in shock. The second stage is anger and this is when people begin to live back in their normal reality world. This stage is where many questions and emotions begin to submerge. An example of anger in this stage would be asking why this happened to me and why it could not be someone else. This is to help you bind with reality and focus on the reality of what is going on. The third stage is bargaining, and this is when individuals beg or try to make a deal with a higher spirit about what had happened. The best example for this stage is someone praying to their God and asking him to bring them back and/ or take them instead. This is the time where you question if it were your fault and how you could have changed it. The fourth stage is the depression stage. This is the most accepted form of grief in any aged person. You begin to feel down, sick, emotionally unstable, and may not want to be interacted with. Normally when someone loses someone close to them their depression kicks in and they may wonder what the point of living is if they are not around. Many younger females deal with this after a first break up so its not always about death when it comes to grieving. The last stage is known as acceptance. This is the stage you want and need to get to when you are grieving. You will begin to stabilize your emotions and understanding on what had happened. The best example for this stage would be accepting the loss of someone by saying: it is okay that my dog died, instead of my dog died but it’s okay. This shows that you have acceptance the difference and the loss of the animal close to you.
Therefore, grieving is not always related or connected to the death of someone or something. As we age, we may experience death and other failures that make you grieve. A lot of younger girls go through break ups and lose of friends. But mainly once we get older, we learn to accept that things will change, and that death and grieving is part of nature and how we are programmed. Regardless is we cope and heal differently than someone we know; we will make it through the stages of grief and learn how to get over heartbreaking things faster and more woke than we would have if we have never experienced the emotion rollercoaster. These stages of coping and grieving help to stabilize you and help you through the loss of someone easier because you have other hands to reach out to when you need the guidance and shoulder to lay on.
References
- Cavanaugh, R.V.K.J. C. (2015). Human Development: A Life-Span View. [VitalSource Bookshelf]. Retrieved from https://online.vitalsource.com/#/books/9781305480636/
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