Is it possible to love your child yet treat them vilely? Nearly 3.2 million children in the U.S. are receiving some kind of prevention and post-response services due to physical and or emotional abuse in households. In the book, The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls we see two different parenting styles between her father, Rex, and her mother, Rose Mary where they both represent some kind of vile parenting style toward their four children.
Rose Mary Walls, mother of Jeanette and her siblings is much more complex than Rex, her husband. At times she can be free-spirited- she didn't like rules she felt as if they are trying to shape her into what they want her to be not who she wants to be hence why she always wanted to paint instead of using her teaching degree. That being said, she thought that being independent and self-sufficient was very important. That was shown tremendously within her parenting style. Because of this, it got her children into a lot of rough situations. One example Throughout the book where you see Rose Mary pushing her children to rely on nobody but themselves is at the begging of the book when Jeannette was making herself food, caught on fire, and had to get rushed to the hospital. “ I got the cuts and bruises from playing outside and the burns from cooking hot dogs. They asked what I was doing cooking hot dogs by myself at the age of three.” Page 10 This AWE clearly shows how Rose Mary thought cooking her own food at the age of three was “mature for her age.”Or as she would say, self-sufficient. No three-year-old should even be close to a stove, let alone using it. Rose Mary never taught Jeanette the basics, she was just thrown out there to do it herself. Instead of her parents cooking for the children, oftentimes she would cook for her parents.
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As the book goes on, you see Rose Mary becomes more and more selfish toward caring and providing for her children. One example of this is when her children were starving and she had a Hershey's chocolate bar… all to herself. “Brian yanked the covers back. Lying on the mattress next to Mom was one of those huge family-sized chocolate bars”…..” She had already eaten half of it. “...” Brian snatched up the chocolate bar and divided it into four pieces. While Mom watched, we wolfed them down” Page 174. It is beyond selfish how Rose Mary sat and listened to her own children moan about being so hungry and about how kids at school make fun of them because they are so skinny. Yet, scarf down food, in front of them without even sharing and then lie about it when they confront you.
Lastly, Rose Mary seemed to be unstable. Throughout the book, you oftentimes notice how her moods fall into deep depressive moods. This is explained on page 207, “Mom could be as wise as a philosopher, but her moods were getting on my nerves. At times she can be happy for days on end” It later goes on to say “When that happened, mom would refuse to get out of bed, even when Lucy-Jo showed up to drive her to school, honking impatiently.” It is hard to care for children when you can't care for yourself. Jeanette even said that she can't believe her mother was acting like a five-year-old. These episodes nearly forced her children to care for themselves since she couldn't get out of bed.
Rex, married to Rose Mary, was the father of Jeanette and her siblings. Although Rex was an abusive alcoholic who steals from his own children he has shown throughout the book that he loves his children and truly wants the best for them.
As children, Rex interacted with them quite often, he would pretend to chase demons and tell them lots of imaginative stories. This is shown on page 24 “Every night when Lori Bran and I were about to go to sleep, Dad told us bedtime stories. They were always about him.” This AWE clearly shows that Rex put effort into making his children happy, they would beg and beg for him to tell another story, and so he did. Another example of Rex putting in the effort to better his children's future is when He gave Jeanette nine hundred fifty dollars and a fur coat to pay for her last semester in college because she couldn't afford it. Rex asked her to meet him, so she did. Jeanette explained how they need the money more than she does but he insisted. Rex said, “Since when is it wrong for a father to take care of his little girl” Page 265. This proves that Rex knew she was capable of becoming something so, he invested in it to prove she was worth it.
Although Rex loved to see his children happy, he drank in front of them all the time. When he was drunk, he was mean and abusive. “Dad turned into an angry-eyes stranger who threw around furniture and threatened to beat up Mom or anyone else who got in his way.” Page 23. As a child, seeing your own mother and sibling hurt by your father whom you don't even recognize anymore is traumatizing. Rex would disappear for days on end when on a drinking binge, leaving Rose Mary and the children alone.
Despite being abused and abandoned as a child Jeanette still loved her parents. Rex was consistently in and out of his family’s life while Rose Mary selfishly abandoned her children's emotional and physical needs but both the children's parents claim to have loved them. So, do you think you can still love children if your actions say otherwise…? Do actions speak louder than words in the case of caring for their children?
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