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“What’s it like being a twin?”, “Are you guys best friends?”, “Do you guys look alike?”. These are just a few of the questions I am asked when I tell people I have a twin brother. I usually don’t mind getting asked so many questions, and I sometimes even like all of the attention. But I usually don’t really know how to answer these questions because I have never experienced anything other than being a twin.
Many stereotypes have been made about twins that people automatically apply to my brother and me. People always think we must look alike, have twin telepathy, and be best friends. None of these apply to us. But out of all the assumptions that are made, there are some positive qualities of being a twin.
In some cases, I love being a twin. For example, when I went to the first day of freshman orientation, I really appreciated being a twin. I was so nervous and tossed and turned all night, I could barely sleep. I woke up and even tried to act sick. I told my mom “I had a sore throat”, which usually works most of the time. But this time it didn’t. Luckily, I didn’t have to walk in alone and had someone to talk to since I only knew a few people. I felt less anxious since my brother and I were able to walk in together and I could always rely on him to make a situation better.
In other cases, I have disliked being a twin. He has been someone I always compare myself to because we have been through everything together. Everyone I meet always compares us and asks questions like “Who’s smarter?” or “Who’s more athletic?”. When people ask these questions, they are automatically comparing me and my brother to each other. I was never looked at as an individual, but more as the 'other half'. Since I am always compared to my brother, it has made me really competitive with him. I have always wanted to be the better twin and have always felt the need to one-up everything he did.
The biggest competition between my brother and me when we were younger was asking our mom “Who’s your favorite?”. The need for the most parental affection was something that we both wanted. I have always wanted all of the attention, but so has my brother. I always wanted to be better than him and made everything a competition. I would always strive to get better grades and be more athletic. I stopped trying to compare myself to him in middle school when I finally realized that we were two completely different people and shouldn’t be compared to each other. We were made up of our own qualities and we shouldn’t be judged based on how we were born on the same day making us twins.
The most bizarre thing I am asked on a daily basis is “Do you guys have twin telepathy?”. I have never once felt a telepathic connection with my brother nor do I ever think I will. I believe this is a myth because I’ve never felt connected mindedly to my brother. We don’t share a brain, so why would we share the same thoughts?
All of the emotions, events, and stories that I have experienced have shaped me into who I am today. One of my biggest qualities is being independent. I learned to be independent because of the lesson I learned from being consistently compared to my sibling. Being a twin, you would think that I would rely on my brother and never leave his side. In my case, it’s the opposite. Ever since we entered high school and have only had one class together, I have developed into someone who doesn’t need to be dependent on my brother. Although I still love him, I never look to him anymore, instead, I have learned to make separate friends. I have learned to be an independent individual who does not feel defined as just being a twin.
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