Everyone has an idea of what they expect their life to look like the next day. Whether you have a dentist appointment or just another day at work. You always have a slight idea of what is in store for you. For the majority of my life, I had no clue what would happen to me in the following week or even hour. Even though my life has been distinct from the life of my peers I can say that I have learned the most important lesson of my life junior year.
It didn’t take long after the first day of high school to figure out exactly why I dreaded going to school or simply socializing with the people around me. I found out that I generalized anxiety disorder which made every aspect of my life an obstacle. I would wake up every morning with fear and fall asleep (or not) with fear. I can’t consciously recall a time when everything in my life was going smoothly. And even though it took a long time for me to finally figure out why I was having a hard time I eventually figured it out. It's all about my perception.
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I was going through a rough patch in life freshman and sophomore years. My family was struggling financially and for a while, we had to move out of our apartment. The terror of not knowing where my younger siblings and I were gonna sleep hunted me. No one in my family has ever gone to college. Both my mom and dad dropped out of high school before they were seniors. My parents have always said that I was going to be the person who would break the “family curse”. For a long time, I used to think my parents were the root of all my problems. My anxiety, my bad grades, my legal status, in my mind absolutely everything inconvenient was because of them, I would find a way to unconsciously blame it on them.
Everyone has an idea of what they expect their life to look like the next day. Whether you have a dentist appointment or just another day at work. You always have a slight idea of what is in store for you. For the majority of my life, I had no clue what would happen to me in the following week or even hour. Even though my life has been distinct from the life of my peers I can say that I have learned the most important lesson of my life junior year.
It didn’t take long after the first day of high school to figure out exactly why I dreaded going to school or simply socializing with the people around me. I found out that I generalized anxiety disorder which made every aspect of my life an obstacle. I would wake up every morning with fear and fall asleep (or not) with fear. I can’t consciously recall a time when everything in my life was going smoothly. And even though it took a long time for me to finally figure out why I was having a hard time I eventually figured it out. It's all about my perception.
I was going through a rough patch in life freshman and sophomore years. My family was struggling financially and for a while, we had to move out of our apartment. The terror of not knowing where my younger siblings and I were gonna sleep hunted me. No one in my family has ever gone to college. Both my mom and dad dropped out of high school before they were seniors. My parents have always said that I was going to be the person who would break the “family curse”. For a long time, I used to think my parents were the root of all my problems. My anxiety, my bad grades, my legal status, in my mind absolutely everything inconvenient was because of them, I would find a way to unconsciously blame it on them. I went from ninth to tenth grade with the mindset that I wasn’t going to be able to go to college because of the many factors in my life. I lost complete hope not only in my future but also in myself. My self-esteem went from a 6 to a 3 soon after my first two years of high school.
Going into my junior year, my mom gave me the news that would literally change my life. She explained to me that we (Herself, my step-dad, sister, brother, and I) were moving to Washington State. To most people, it would seem like an uncommon thing to move from Orange County Florida to Mill Creek Washington but it wasn’t much of a surprise to me. When I got here it felt like I had a clean slate. Nobody knew me and I didn’t know anyone for a good week, which was somewhat relieving. I started doing better in school than I had been in the previous years and I received news that would change my life forever. I would soon become a United States citizen.
I came to many realizations going into senior year and I knew that I had to work really hard to get into college. I decided to challenge myself more than ever academically. So I picked up three AP classes and gave up varsity choir so I could fully focus on my hard classes. Even though being a senior with a full 6 class schedule hasn’t been easy, I’ve managed to do better in school than I ever have. I have picked up so many good habits his year and even though I’m busier than the average senior I can feel myself improving as a person because of the goals I’ve made and plan on reaching. Because of the new mindset I’ve acquired I know with certainty that it is not about circumstances, it’s about the actions I take and how I play my cards. I am currently studying for my SAT, applying for colleges, and keeping up with my classes and I know that I will succeed in everything I put my mind to.
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