You have not taken the time to discover how to truly make yourself, simply put, yourself. If any of what was mentioned above is you, then I am so glad that you have this book at your fingertips. I am your typical small-town girl. Who found her way onto a huge college campus at just eighteen years old. Who found herself changing her major three different times, joining a well-known sorority on campus, and quickly realizing that there are so many more diverse people out in the world than just those I knew in my small, mediocre town. I began to unravel and develop new tools to help myself succeed. Tools that I necessarily did not need or develop my first eighteen years of life. Fast forward to grad school plus three years, and here I am. I am a Kindergarten teacher who is still, each and every day, discovering new tools to stick in my tool belt. I have come to believe that is what life is about -- figuring out new tools to adapt with and . . . well, happiness. If you aren’t happy with your life, then something within you needs to change. I learned that very, very quickly.
My first year of teaching truly was an eye-opening experience. I soon learned that a lot of my students of mine came from almost nothing. I couldn’t talk about families or homes because, as hard as it is to hear, some of them had neither. I was always ready to discuss what my students did over their weekends, but then I quickly disregarded the conversation due to the fact that the majority were not able to do much. Students need a lot of love. I poured my heart and soul into my classroom and the bodies inside of it. Each day, I tried to give it my all. I tried to hide my frustrations because they did not deserve to see me like that. I had every lesson planned beforehand for each subject, day in and day out. I wanted them to learn. I wanted them to grow. I wanted them to succeed in not only their coursework but in life as well. Do you know how troubling it is as a teacher to know that you can only do so much? You can only give a portion of what your students truly need to them. And that right there is an upsetting piece of reality. Not only that but I was overwhelmed with my workload on top of it. I stayed after school multiple days a week and, if I wasn’t staying after school, I constantly brought work home with me. There was always something that needed to be worked on. There was always something that I felt I could be doing better. There was content that needed to be taught in a better way. There were behaviors that needed to be addressed in a different manner.
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As a teacher, your job truly never feels completely done. I became despondent and irritable the majority of the time. I thought about my job constantly. I let it take over me, take over my feelings, take over my actions, and take over my entire well-being. I gave it all of my energy. I didn’t have the tools necessary to control the way that I was supposed to handle these types of situations. I let the negative scenarios take over me, too. It affected my relationships. It affected my day-to-day routines. It affected my happiness. It wasn’t until I set off for a run around the lake near my house that I realized what my life was being controlled by. I set out to run the whole route, which was exactly 5.6 miles. As a person who is competitive by nature, I not only compete with other people but I also compete with myself. As soon as I started my run, I felt my blood sugar drop. When this happens, I am not able to endure longer distances. I was about 3.2 miles in when I felt my legs slow to a walk with my hands trembling from my blood sugar. I immediately felt frustration rush through me.
Not angry with anyone or anything other than myself and my body. The situation got to my head. My thoughts were running wild about how I could do better and be better and began to control me -- the same way that my thoughts always controlled me. I instantly called my mom on the way back to my car. I still had over 2 miles to walk. I was complaining to her about only making it the distance that I did. I grumbled about how my body wouldn’t let me go further and how it wasn’t fair. My tone was strict. Disappointment crept through my words. My mom let out a sigh and simply said, “You are just like your father.” I paused and let her continue on. It’s certainly not a terrible thing to hear that I am just like my dad, because he is one of the best men that I know -- but I knew exactly where she was going with it.
The man has his flaws, just as everyone does. He gets upset. He can’t handle the sadness. He wears his emotions on his sleeve. And evidently, so do I. She informed me that I let the moments that I encounter disappoint me. I let my situations control my overall mindset, causing me to be a disheartening person to talk to at times. “Kode, I just want you to be happy.” These were the words that she spoke to me before I nodded, and hung up the phone. I took the next 2.8 miles to let that conversation soak in. As hard as it was to hear at that moment, I knew that she was right. My mom was always right. I was letting my life, my thoughts, and my happiness, be controlled by my thoughts. It wasn’t my job that was controlling me. It wasn’t the lives of my students. It wasn’t my workload. It was my thoughts. How simple it seemed for my whole life to just be controlled by the ideas that passed through my brain. I made a choice at that moment. I made a choice to practice changing my perspective as much as I could, day in and day out. I wanted to change.
I wanted my life to change. I wanted happiness to set into my soul again. What my mom taught me that day was a lesson. I knew that I needed to focus on the lesson right then, not the issue. There are multiple ways to work towards happiness in your life. However, one of the ways that I will discuss all throughout this book is wrapped around the change in mindset about not dwelling so much on the issue but making sure that you are grateful for the lesson that was taught in that situation. When you change the way you look at things, the things around you begin to change. Not because they change physically, but simply because you begin to change yourself mentally. Your mind is a powerful thing. The more days that I experience in my life, the more I have to alter my mind and the way that it thinks about things. This is one tool that I am still developing each and every day -- being strong enough to get in control of my thoughts. And it is one tool that I did not realize that I necessarily needed until I really began to go about living independently, learning from my experiences, and turning these experiences into positive lessons. I came to the harsh realization that life will not always be comfortable. And when the waters get rough, what are we to do? Sulk each time? Wait for a better day? Maybe, before. Not anymore. Controlling your thoughts can be practiced. It is something that you are the authority of. You may not have the ability to control the majority of situations in your life, but you do have the ability to control your mindset. These chapters hold some personal stories of mine (along with many Friends' references). These stories always result in some type of lesson. The result of these lessons ends in choices that I chose to make to help me continue on my path in life. These choices allow me to find confidence. They allow me to find happiness as an outcome. They allow me to control my view of the situations that I encounter and give me the chance to turn them into something positive. But, these lessons also show that I am learning and growing each day. These are the lessons that help me and empower me to become a better version of myself. I want them to be able to empower others to be more positive, too. Because in the end, the more positive your perspective is, the happier you will go about your life. So, here we are. Read through stories. Learn some lessons. Adjust your thoughts. Sounds easy enough, right? It can be. But it is up to you. It is always up to you -- to make the choice to turn these lessons that you experience into something good. It is up to you to make the choice to control your thoughts. To control your mindset. To control your emotions. To control your happiness. To control your life. It is a way of life. It becomes a habit. If you want to feel happy and feel like you are enough, you have to think like it. I hope you find that these lessons help you to feel empowered again. I hope you find the motivation and willingness to begin to change the way that you think about the situations that you encounter each and every day. I sincerely hope that after reading this book, you are able to take life by the horns and say not today, because your thoughts allow you to change what seems like a negative situation into a positive one. It all begins with you.
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