“Influence is when you are not the one talking and yet your words fill the room; when you are absent and yet your presence is felt everywhere.” (TemitOpe Ibrahim)
Throughout my life, there have been several people who have great influences on me, but some have left a vast impact on my life. Beside of my loving mother, Staci was the significant figure that contributed in shaping and changing me to become who I am today. Whenever I think of Staci, I remember all the valuable life lessons that I learned from her, lessons about strength, courage, and kindness. As I look back, I realize that I had never told her how much I admired her and how influenced she had left on my life. Staci opened the window of the world for me and perhaps she was the most remarkable teacher of many who contributed to my knowledge.
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Staci represented everything good in this world. She had a deep sense of purpose, an ability to connect with everyone she met in a meaningful way, and a commitment to leave this world better than she found it. I first met her in 2003. It was a year after I moved to the United States with my mother. Moving to America was a drastic adjustment in my life. The pain of being separated from my father and the culture shock in the new environment made a negative impact on me. It was even worse when the change happened during my teenager years when my mental and psychological had not fully developed. I constantly felt estranged, lonely, insecure and sad. I was mad at my mother and blaming her for the separation, so I decided to move in to live with my aunt who lived in Midland, Texas. Every day I was sitting in the corner of my aunt’s nails salon for hours without saying a word. I rarely engaged myself into conversations or with anyone at the salon. Staci was one of my aunt’s regular customers. Seeing me like that, she started small conversations with me here and there any time she came for her nails service. At first, I got embarrassed because of my broken English so I said as little as I could, but she urged me to speak more. She politely interrupted and corrected my grammar, encouraged me to tell her about my day, my school, and stories about my life in Vietnam, patiently listened to me. We talked about everything; I even told her my confidences. Despite the thirty-years age gap and language barrier, we got along so well. At that time, Stacie was the first and only friend I had in American. With my aunt’s permission, she started to come to the salon more often to teach me English, the culture and life lessons. Slowly I gained more confidence about myself and adjusted into the new life in the United States with Staci’s help.
When I first met Staci, I thought she was a stay-at-home mom since I saw she came to the salon all the time. Through the way she dressed and carried herself, I could not tell she was a Chief Financial Officer for a million-dollar oil and gas company. She was always warm, gentle and sweet. After graduating from high school, Staci referred me to work as a part-timer at her company where I learnt about the American corporate world and professional business. Taking me under her wings, Staci taught me to how to grow up as a decent and responsible person. In the two years working with her, she continued to amaze me. She made me go from one surprise to another. At work, she was successfully careered woman who had put significant effort into her professional development and was exceptionally good at what she did. She was a dedicated employee who was willing invest the necessary time and effort to accomplish thing. I had never seen her backed down from any challenge, no matter how hard it was. Not only a great asset for the company, but as a boss, Staci also encouraged and gave her employees the opportunities to become ones too. She had never raised her voices with anyone in the company, always treated people with a calm and courteous manner, Staci got everyone’s respect and admiration. She was a genuinely nice person, in all senses of the word and showed me that you can still be kind and tough at the same time.
She was an admirable figure to people around her, especially to her sons who grew up seeing what a strong, confident and successful woman looked like and could achieve. For most peoples, often the commitments to family, household, work, and social life seem to be hard to balance; but, with Staci, she managed everything perfectly. She had proved that she was more than capable of handling all her responsibilities in both work and personal life with great success. No matter how busy she was, she still dedicated her time and effort to fulfill her roles as a wife, a mother, and even a grandmother. She had never missed her grandson’s soccer games, always been there to support her sons, and a great companion for her husband. They called her the “solution” to any problems and the bond to keep everyone together. In some special occasion, Staci invited my family and me to her family’s dinners or events. I was touched to see the atmosphere filled with happiness, laughter and joy. I remember Kris, her husband, a big gigantic man, always gave her hugs and kisses on her cheeks. Those were the sweetest memories that I will never forget. For people who growing up in a broken family like me, I used to admire and dream of having a beautiful family like hers. Staci also taught me my important role in the family when she saw me slowly drifting away from my mother and my family. Even though she had never criticized me about my decision to move to Houston away from my family, but I knew she was disappointed at me. I completely understood her reasons that I had not finished school at that time and my family just went through the drastic incident – my uncle was killed in a car accident. Yet, I was too young and immature back then. Despite all the advices from Staci and my mother, I still followed my instinct and moved away. Before I left, Staci only told me not forget of my root and my family, one day I would realize that all the fun and friends would disappear, and family would be the only one I have left. It was not until several years later that I gradually understood her good words.
After I moved to Houston, Staci continued looking after my family. It was a roughest time for my mother and my aunt since they did not have any friends nor family in Midland to rely on, and the fact I moved away. If not because of Staci, I would not know how my family would overcome that time. She helped my family to settle in the new life without my uncle-in-law. She asked her family to give us all the supports that we needed. For six years after the incident, Staci still visited my family at least once or twice a month, treated my family like her own. To my family and me, Staci was not only a good friend, but she was also our benefactor, an angel that God sent to us. Up until now, I have never met a caring and genuinely selfless person like her. Because of her, I have learnt how much kindness and compassion could change a person. I might have followed the wrong directions and grown up as a failure if I did not meet Staci back then.
During the last five years before Staci passed away, even though we rarely talked to each other, but through my mother and my aunt, we still watched and knew each other’s lives. One day, my aunt told me that Staci just found out she had stage 3 of lymphoma cancer. When I heard the bad news, all I could think was how it could happen to an amazing person like her. In two years fighting with the cancer, Staci never lost her spirits through all the surgeries and treatments. She remained strong and positive spirit for her family and for people who loved her. Even though her odds were not good, she still sent me sympathy card when my dad passed away, still emailed me comforting messages sometimes. I heard there were many family and friends coming together for Staci, helping her with the battle, and supporting her for her to feel she was not fighting alone. In 2017, Staci lost her battle with cancer. Through the rough patch in her life, Stacie never lost her strength. She was still positive until the last day of her life. It was the hard time for everyone, especially for her family. Everyone mourned for a good person like her to die so early. Stacie was a perfect definition of someone with endless courage. She had lived a meaningful life; and even passing away, she continued to inspire and strengthen others.
Staci had taught me all the important lessons of my life. Lessons about strength, independence, confidence, and kindness that I learnt from her are like memories, and they will stay with me forever. They become a part of my life, shape me to become the woman I am today, and influence all decisions and actions throughout my life. It was my blessing to meet someone like Staci. Some days, I hope to influence someone’s life the way Stacie did mine.
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