It was finalized. We were moving. My heart dropped when I heard this news. What was better than moving away from your childhood home? Nothing. Those were my exact thoughts as my parents tried to explain why we had to move. I listened to my parents and nodded while my heart broke into a thousand pieces. I didn't want to leave the place I grew up in. The place that holds all of my childhood memories is its heart. My heart started aching when I thought about all the things I’d be leaving behind. I didn’t want anything to change. I felt like everything was slipping away faster than I thought like grains of sand slipping through my fingers.
I decided to go down and spend a few moments alone. As I stumbled down the stairs, I didn’t even remember where we were moving to; all I knew was that it was my home we were now moving. I know it sounds pretty selfish but hear me out. I thought of all the friends I would be leaving behind, and I couldn’t even bear to think back to all of the memories I had and all of the ones I thought I would make with them. I walked out of the elevator and felt the cool afternoon breeze welcome me. I sat down on the poolside and dipped my feet into the cool, still water. I thought about all the times I laughed and cried in this place. I thought about how this was my first everything. My first school, my first time riding a bike, my first friends, my first home. So much of my identity was built into this place and now we’re leaving all of this behind. This place shaped me and my personality and it made me who I am today.
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On the morning we left, my father picked me and my brother up from our beds and gently laid us down on the back seat of the taxi. He never woke us up, knowing that I would cry at the airport. I thought about my best friend, Delfina, as we waited to board the plane. I had promised her I would never forget her. But I fear that if I ever moved, I would forget. I was afraid of losing memories. I feared that if I just looked away for a second, I would lose my most precious memories. I never wanted to lose the memory of Delfina's face whenever she laughed at my jokes or the feeling of happiness when I finally arrived at my first school. I feared most of all that I would forget who I was. That once the memories had passed, a piece of me would disappear. I thought that perhaps with every place I left, an irreplaceable part of me would also be left behind.
The passengers began boarding the plane, and I looked out of the tiny airplane window. I felt like crying. Well more like how sometimes you want to cry, but do not cry. Maybe a few tears are shed, but you mostly just choke up. I felt tears welling up in my eyes and I looked up and tried to blink them away but they just kept on overflowing as if someone kept on pouring water into a cup and just didn’t stop so all the water was spilling out and you couldn’t even control it.
The plane was about to take off and I felt all of the memories flashback in my head no longer than half a second. I covered my face with the palms of my hand and started to cry. I didn't care if people were staring at me or even if I was too loud. The only thing I could think of was how there would be a 99.9% chance I’d never see my friends here again.
I sat back up and straightened my back and clenched my fists in my hand. I felt my dad’s hand on my shoulder and I ignored it. “Sometimes, change is good,” he said. He told me his favorite quote was “If you don’t like something change it; if you can’t change it, change the way you think about it” by Mary Engelbreit. I thought about this for a second. Deep down I knew we couldn’t stay here because of my dad’s job. I thought of how I could think of this new place in a new, better perspective. If we’re moving, we’re probably moving because there are better opportunities there that we don’t have here. “You have to learn how to adapt to change,” he paused. “It’s something which we all have to do.”
I realized that I will have many times in the future when I have to be able to adapt to the new changes waiting ahead of me. I thought to myself, this isn’t THAT bad!
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