Divorce has been practiced since the genesis of humanity. Did you know that there are signs that can tell if you will end up in a split with your spouse? Moreover, did you know that you can tell the signs way before the actual annulment of your marriage?
Well, read this. Broken families are a norm in this century. Couples seem to gravitate towards the 'need for freedom' when a husband and a wife can no longer accommodate the thought of being together. Some seek help from friends, family, role models, and even at the marriage chancellor's desk to salvage their alliance. Splitting is never the best fix but in some cases, it's the most necessary. Despite the need for elucidation, divorce has its pros and cons. The fragmented family faces diverse aftermath. The most common grounds that usher in divorce are infidelity, financial strain, violence, and children.
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Before marriage people agree on shared goals like making a family and recreating their lineage. Children are a blessing but they come with a hidden price tag. Now when couples overlook this and dismiss the urgency to discuss these key goals from the beginning of their union with their significant other, they tend to put their relationship up to a recipe for chaos. This chaos brings about numerous arguments and failure to settle the misunderstanding brings discomfort, financial strain, and in the long run separation. Therefore people need to find out from their spouses what their marital intent is. A compatible partner for marriage is one whose detailed objectives in the union are similar to yours. Point out key milestones you hope to attain from the relationship and amicably discuss them.
Friends are a very important element in every person’s life. You can’t emphasize enough how significant it is to have a support system in our life today. No man is an island, so it was once spoken but lest we forget the same wise people once said show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. When a married person mingles and enjoys the company of single non 'committed' friends he somehow tends to get a bit attracted to how stress-free 'uncommitment' is. Well, that perspective that somehow these single people are tending to eat life from a big spoon sinks in, the married ones tend to somehow want to have a taste of it. The remedy for this is simple, have friends who have similar goals in life, and Minimize spending too much time with the ones whose priorities are different. Friends have the power to influence you.
Meddling family members can accelerate arguments, hence resulting in divorce. This might seem self-explanatory right? No, it is not. Sometimes the people who you tend to lean on most are family especially when friendship fails us. Family members at times miss the point when it comes to drawing the line between being helpful and mingling. At times family members take sides and this becomes overbearing with time.
Trying to change someone else’s perspective is difficult. Couples find themselves bickering over the mildest issues with their partners. It’s these small talks that vulcanize into arguments especially when trying to change the point of the other's view. Well, who wants to live in an unpeaceful environment? A place of constant back and forth, with a ticking time bomb. A place where everywhere you step you have to double-check before it explodes... that life is stressful. Being in constant turmoil and argument every time surely kills the chemistry that builds the marriage foundation pillars. Experts at times say when the arguments don't seem to end then that is an indicator of something underlying
Models and celebrities are on display everywhere showcasing ideal body weights. A beautiful body is an eye candy that creates a romantic ambiance in marriage. However, in the marriage fraternity weight gain at times is very unavoidable. it comes with progressing age, childbirth, and numerous lifestyle changes. on the contrary, couples feel that failure to do something about the weight projects itself as laziness, unromantic, and lazy. As much as that sounds harsh, it’s just human weakness. Men mostly find this as an excuse to end up looking for affairs outside marital institutions.
In a digital and social media day and age, friends, family, and strangers only post pictures on different platforms showcasing only what they want to display. The reality only seems to be farfetched. Only the shoe owner knows how much it hurts. So unless you have lived with your partner in your marriage, you then can never truly elaborate or describe the outcome. So never expect too much. Live a day at a time and always accommodate the fact that you are not a robot neither is your spouse!
You have to prepare yourself mentally for the fact that now it’s no longer only about your well-being. Remember one can never be fully prepared for tomorrow. However, it’s needless to say; never face your future without a plan at all. Know your partner, and go on numerous dates. Plan your future with the most suitable spouse. Write down short-term goals you intend to achieve together and draft the long-term ones. Go for pre-marital counseling and have people or a married couple that you look up to or even go to for advice even much later on in your married life. Lastly, accept that all will not be a bed of roses every day.
An abusive marriage is a very toxic kind of marriage. Over 20% of marriages dissolve because of brutality. Abuse can be physical, mental, or sexual harassment. Sadly most people who are abused tend to want to stay and hold on hoping that maybe their partners will change at one point. Violence can be of either gender but women have over the years been the major victims of violence. Additionally, this barbarism puts at risk all the members of the family. More dangerous effects like injuries, damage to property, and a high likelihood of facing charges, jail, or even death can result from this kind of habit. A married person should seek help if they find out that their spouse is temperamental. In our society today non-governmental bodies offer assistance.
Almost a third of all divorces are a result of a cheating spouse. People blame the devil for this. At times people have extramarital affairs because of greed or lust, and others have set very high unreal standards for their spouses while others are just polygamous. This last group of people tends to shift their wandering eyes elsewhere. They have ultra egos that are so egocentric. They are always looking for what they feel they miss from their current partners. Regardless of whatever justification people want to associate their urge for cheating with, infidelity is a sin. It wounds both parties undoubtedly. Is the grass greener from the other side? that's the million-dollar question.
Some people have become masterminds of faking love and intimacy just to get a taste of wealth. This is very short-lived. Families that have little to no income are strained, always thinking about tomorrow. This uncertainty can only yield people who are consumed with stress and are incapable of thinking of how to better their marriage life. Depression kicks in afterward. For instance, if a family falls into bankruptcy due to job termination or debts, they cannot be eager to explore how to better their marriage.
In summary, finances affect marriage stability.
Can disabilities lead to a breakup? yes. This is complex and unfair grounds for separation. In the event of an accident, one may end up losing one of his sense organs. If this happens, it comes with a ton of budget and workload for the unaffected partner. If they are not compassionate enough, they won't be able to withstand all the aftermath from such. In the long run, couples drift apart.
Sometimes people get employed and are required to relocate to a different place in pursuit of a job. This is a good thing though at times the distance between may interfere with how a couple used to relate. If the other one overstays eventually the other one might feel deserted. This separation if not careful can pave the way to cheating and lack of proper communication. Desertion over a long period might gravitate to a split up.
Inequality in marriage comes when one person feels like they are more superior to the other. This can translate to either physical, mental, or financial superiority. This kind of competitiveness can be a major reason for spouses bickering and always arguing. At times too you might feel as though the other one is being unfair and letting you run all the errands and the bad jobs alone. The narrative of a good cop and a not-so-good one applies here. One person always spending too much while the other is struggling to save something for the rainy day.
In conclusion, divorce is a sad thing. It is more tragic when children are involved. They get to witness the chaos and thrive in uncertainty. This has a long-term overall shortcoming if not dealt with adequately and sooner. The children after a divorce can go through long-lasting effects therefore the respective parents should consider how they will handle this problem way before the consequences way in. The grown-ups too need to practice activities that may activate self-awareness such as yoga, exercise, and creating healthy friendship circles. This will help them stay healthy after. Marriage is not an institution for the weak-hearted and it calls for instilling pivotal points like self-discipline, planning, preparing, and above all unconditional love. No union is more perfect than the other. However, no matter how much one wants their marriage to thrive in success, one should never put at risk their safety and sanity. When divorce is inevitable and necessary, seek it.
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