In the first place, I do not have the slightest idea as to how to write about myself. There is so much that characterizes me and thus I cannot explain why they characterize me, but I guess I can start with my family life.
Growing up, my sibling and I were always very close to my parents. They supported us through all the brainless things that we did or said, whether it be towards them or in general. We traveled frequently as a whole family. Every single year since I was little, we would go to the Carribean. I can’t recall every one of the places we have been to, but I’m perpetually thankful that I got the opportunity to travel my whole life. As I grew older, we started going to more touristy places, for example, Canada and Europe. In my perspective, all of the excursions strengthened the bonds because we always have the memories from the trips to reminisce and giggle about. My family life might have been stunning, but by the end of middle school and the start of high school, I didn’t have the same outlook on life. During middle school, I got bullied for being friends with males, which shouldn’t be surprising because I grew up with many male cousins and an older brother. I started getting dissociated with the people I considered friends and once high school started, I was extremely scared just to construct friendships. I thought it would be hard to find others whom I could genuinely connect to and would understand me as a person, and man was I right.
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My parents and I started to argue a lot, particularly my mother and I. Our relationship wasn’t in a good state at all and she would say a lot of hurtful things towards me. At a point, I felt as if she didn’t adore me as she should, not saying I didn’t think she loved me at all. I also acknowledged that I have anxiety and my parents didn’t allow me to get the help I needed for it, making my psychological state worse than it should have been. I had a consistent war going on within myself trying to balance school, home life, and myself. In spite of everything, I tried my hardest throughout high school to do the best I could.
I met a boy during my sophomore year of high school and it was both wonderful and horrendous simultaneously. He helped me so much with how to cope with my anxiety without realizing it by introducing me to the sport of soccer. This boy showed me what it is like to have deep emotional feelings towards an individual, but yet despise them so much at the same time. Additionally, he taught me a lot about myself that I didn’t know previously. Anyway, soccer has been an undeniable blessing. I still play soccer to this day and it helps me so much. It gives me an outlet for my emotions and it has become a piece of me. If I were still in middle school, or even my freshman year of high school, I never would have thought that I would be playing a sport. I took the side interest of painting on, as well. Shaping an enthusiasm for art allowed me to see the ability in myself that I didn’t think I had.
Now that I explained my general biography, who I am personally is an entire diverse topic. There are a large number of personality traits about myself that I am determined to change. Over the years I concluded that I constantly need a feeling of affection, love, and support. The relationship I had with my mother in high school, I believe, is the cause of this. I’m reliant on others to fill the void that I have. I dislike this about myself because with always having someone that I am reliant on, comes the hurt when they are no longer in my life. I get emotionally attached to people very easily, but I do not try very hard to keep them in my life due to how accustomed I have become to losing people. “People come and go,” is what I always tell my companions and I stay true to this completely. Instead of forming real bonds with people that I could potentially have in my life for a long time, forming little associations is what I am used to doing.
There are numerous that I love about myself that I wouldn’t change. Having the ability to make my those that I love happy and laugh is my favorite part about me. Being trust-worthy, goofy, and overall a genuine individual is what I love most about who I am. I do not seep my issues onto others and make sure they are happy before whatever else. Thinking more optimistically helps me get through situations better as opposed to thinking negatively and complaining about them to others.
If someone were to ask me to describe myself, I wouldn’t know what to say in detail. I can’t give someone a long explanation of who I am or how I am because there is so much I can say. I do know that I am a soccer player, an artist, and probably the most minding individual that somebody can meet. I go out of my way to do things for others, regardless if it is taken advantage of. That is the kind of person I am, though.
Erich Fromm was a German social psychologist and humanistic philosopher. He critiqued Freud’s humanistic psychoanalysis theory and built up his humanistic psychoanalytic theory. In his hypothesis, Fromm proposed that the personality of one’s self is formed to deal with the fear of isolation, and with this comes wanting to belong and the feeling of freedom, based off of his character types (Kendra Cherry 2019). His character types included receptive, exploitative, hoarding, marketing, and productive. Each of the types clarify how somebody’s personality is and their way of dealing with the anxiety of isolation. Fromm expressed that the productive character type is the only one that manages with the anxiety healthily, as opposed to the four others that have an unhealthy habit of dealing. Within the productive character type, an individual takes their emotions and uses it to be productive and they also focus more on building relationships (Kendra Cherry 2019). In another sense, Fromm believed that putting yourself in a healthy environment with supportive individuals is the best way to deal with the fear of confinement. Being productive builds a healthy mindset and brings a feeling of having a place when being upheld.
Erich Fromm’s theory is based off of the humanistic need of belonging and freedom. The authoritarian character covers the freedom aspect of his hypothesis and comes into play with the masochist and sadist roles, or dominant and submissive roles. One is always the predominant one while the other is the submissive (Funk, Rainer, Dr. 2009). He believes that with every form of dominance, there is always a submissive individual to fulfil the roles. In everyday life, we see these two roles come into play. In order to have total freedom, we have to be completely alone with no commitment, but having total freedom implies being isolated. To avoid this, but still get some form of freedom, we use the authoritarian character to satisfy that need and avoid being our separate selves (Journal Psyche, [authors not listed]). In spite of the fact that freedom is part of our nature as humans, we tend to avoid it because it is another part of the fear of being alone.
As humans, we do what we can to get away from the fear of isolation by framing different characteristic traits and make up feelings to feel wanted and cherished. Humans fill the void in themselves by using another individual’s strengths and bloodsucker off of them. One of the components that is used is to substitute what oneself lost is by “melding” with another to shape another bond (Dan Merkur 2010). In doing as such, we use what other individuals have that we need ourselves. It is an approach to gain quality through others. In other words, one relies on another to get something that they need, whether it be emotionally or physically. It does not necessarily imply that the person is being utilized in a negative perspective, it all the more so implies that they are providing their strength and support that another requires to not be alone.
While finding out about Erich Fromm’s theory, I began to perceive how it relates to me and clarifies my personal being. Returning to me continually needing a sentiment of affection and support, I have come to see that it does not, in fact, originate from my past with my mother. Fromm suggested that humans created the feeling of love to avoid the anxiety of isolation, which undoubtedly is what I am genuinely most afraid of. Dying alone in the world while knowing nobody loves you is another idea of what hell is. But a new inquiry arises while learning this hypothesis. Is it the fear of isolation that we are so afraid of, or is it the fear of going to the “unknown” without the feeling of love? Without a doubt, Fromm’s theory does give me an insight as to why I rely on others.
His receptive character type is one that identifies me the most. The character type explains those who need constant support and are not positive about themselves. I believe that this character type clarifies my needs and who I am to the complete tip. The authoritarian character trait is another trait that likewise identifies me from Erich Fromm’s theory, but not in the sense where I need to feel power. Throughout my whole existence, I have consistently played the submissive role. Whether it be at home or in school, it has always been part of my life. It is not astonishing at all that I play this role because of how quickly I form attachments to others and the trust I hold in them for the time being that they are a major part of my life. Submissive individuals additionally know what makes others happy and take the necessary steps to make them happy and satisfy them, which is one of my personality traits.
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