In the United States, there is one divorce approximately every 36 seconds. That is nearly 2,400 divorces per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces a year (Irvin, 2012). Divorce is experienced much more than is realized. It is experienced, seen, and studied; however, the thought of who it affects is never automatically thought about. In all likelihood, scholars will continue to debate whether divorce has a casual effect on children, partly because of the impossibility of doing experimental research on this topic. Nevertheless, it is self-evident that divorce changes children’s lives in major ways” (Amato, 2010, p. 657). There are many precursors that predict divorce, however they are not the guaranteed reasons for it. The specific predictors change the lives of many.
The changes affect the lives of the divorcees, the families of the divorcees, the children in that household, and the social groups that the family is involved in. Amato (2010) explained how most individuals think of divorce as a single transition, and fail to realize the series of transitions. The number of familial structure transitions during childhood directly associates with the behavior problems of children. He also explained how spouses that initiate divorce finds immediate satisfaction and relief, whereas the partner does not find happiness until they remarry. In conclusion, marrying as a teenager, unemployment, low level of education, living with a spouse before marriage, premarital birth, and marrying a different race are all predictions of cause for divorce; however, they do not directly cause it. Bronfenbrenner (1986) explained how environmental aspects affect intrafamilial processes over the period of a lifespan. He answered the main question of how intrafamilial processes are affected by environmental conditions versus relying directly on parent-child interaction. He studied environments, genetic information, and links between family and settings/environments. Settings include but are not limited to hospitals, daycare/school, peer groups, social networks for both parents and children, work for both parents and children, neighbors, and public policies. He explains how the external influences either affect the development of children in a negative or positive way. There is a degree of differentiation that results from the impact of those influences.
Marrying young is a major reason that leads to divorce. It is not ensuring everyone who marries young will end up getting divorced; however, it is a pretty reasonable conclusion. Young couples often have not learned or explored enough to find who they really are outside of a relationship. “Data on the year of final separation were obtained through court records or personal testimony from all 56 couples who were known to be divorced. Ten couples were classified as quickly divorced because they divorced before the third wave of data collection, which took place shortly after what would have been their second wedding anniversary. This group terminated their marriage before all the early marital data had been collected and, thus, were included only in the analyses of newlywed data. The divorced–early group consisted of 21 couples who divorced between 2 and 7 years after they were married, whereas the divorced–later group consisted of 25 couples whose marriages lasted at least 7 years” (Huston). Unemployment can often lead to divorce, because it can cause disagreements in regards to income and the amount of weight each person pulls. In college, we learn how to think critically. Our levels of education increase as we gain knowledge and ability. We use these skills to solve problems and assist in the tasks of everyday life. If an individual goes to college and learns these skills, and the other partner does not, it is hard to reach conclusions. It is difficult for the two individuals to see evenly, communicate effectively using critical thinking, and reach decisions that are reasonable. Premarital birth is another predictor of divorce. If an individual may not be ready for that commitment, then they get pregnant.
They enter into marriage with their primary focus on the child, even though the two people are not necessarily compatible. When the child needs them, it works, but as the child grows and becomes less dependent on the parents. As a result, the focus of the parents shifts and end up realizing that they do not live together very well.
I completely agree that there are factors that cannot guarantee divorce, but there are some factors that can predict divorce. Everyone is different so certain factors cannot be concrete, but the probabilities of some factors are higher than others. When divorce happens, it changes the lives of the people getting divorced, along with the children of the divorcees, the friend groups, parents and families of the divorcees, and workplace. The people getting divorced rarely agree on the event being mutually beneficial. Most of the time one of the individuals has hurt or anger towards the other individual.
When this happens, one individual is relieved to be out of the relationship, and the other individual will not reach satisfaction or peace until they remarry/recommit. Their lives change because they go from living together and having to work together, to being independent again. The children go from having both parents within reach to having to go back and forth and be shared between the two. Life becomes a lot more difficult and the child(ren) go through emotional trouble as well. They sometimes feel as if they need to pick sides. The relatives of the divorcees go through this pattern of welcoming someone into the family just to have them not a part of it anymore. They get used to the individual coming over for holidays and to hang out, and then they just stop coming over. Friend groups are affected because the two divorcees usually go out together, and then they may feel as if they lost a friend, or they have to choose. The social groups are affected by the decision of the couple. The work place is affected because when going through difficult situations, their work ethics are altered.
Many aspects of life are altered; however, if the divorcees actually communicate, then it could be worked out. If the people getting divorced cannot communicate, argue, are petty, expect family and friends to pick sides, then there are going to be even bigger conflicts. “The results suggest that if parents perceive that friends, family members, and important others are blaming the ex-partner for transgressions and are speaking negatively about the ex-partner, it is harder for parents to forgive the other parent, which seems to be one important relational mechanism in the explanation of the maintenance and escalation of conflicts between divorced parents. While our studies shed light on one potential mechanism underlying the link between perceived social network disapproval and co- parenting conflicts, other mechanisms seem possible” (Margreet, et al., 3063).