“No, but where are you really from?”. This question, this seemingly straightforward, succinct question has brought forth anything but clarity for me. Most people expect me to answer with India, and yes, the majority of my blood and ancestry originate from there. However, I’ve never lived one day of my life there, I cannot speak a single word of one of its more than 22,000 dialects, and I do not practice Hinduism. I have never felt truly honest calling myself Indian. Identity, specifically cultural identity, is a topic I have struggled with for some time. The older I become, the more I recognize the significance my culture holds on my identity. I have often been called a coconut (brown on the outside, white on the inside), ABCD (American-born confused desi), or sometimes simply just ‘white’.
I have been labeled someone who behaves more in accordance with North American culture than their Indian roots, someone who abandons their roots for Western integration. But this is not who I am. Am I rootless or am I free? I never thought of race as a big part of who I was, or that it should dictate any of the choices that I make in my life. However, the older I get, the more I realize that the unfortunate reality is color matters to people a lot more than we would like to think. I often feel limited by my inherited cultural identity. I find that people categorize my exterior cultural identity to be more important than my authentic self, and this makes me question what exactly my roots are. However, I have learned to know myself, mostly through introspection, memories of my past, and expectations of my future.
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No one else could ever know enough about me to know what my true identity is. What others perceive as my identity, is precisely that: their perception. They may base this on my appearance, words, or actions, yet these are only observed from an external viewpoint which proves nothing of my inner worth. My fusion of cultures has given me perspectives on life that you cannot learn. Being Indian, Canadian, English, and Singaporean has only strengthened my abilities as an individual. I have knowledge and thoughts in me that can only be inherited by leading this multicultural life. I am more than just my color. I have grown up mixing and merging different cultures, essentially creating my own. I am not singular, I am a culmination; a citizen of the world. Am I rootless or am I free?
Personally, I believe that our identities are dynamic and ever-changing. To try and look for a static is a mistake. You are not assigned an identity, you evolve into it. As you discard the image of the formed self you allow the authentic self to emerge. A strong, authentic identity is upheld by the capacity to realize and come to love who you are, not settling for anything less. Four Guiding Principles of Self-Betterment I am a woman independent of the good opinion of others I am a woman who cultivates peace of mind. I am a woman who meets each day with reverence for the opportunities it contains I am a woman who lives in a constant state of gratitude for everything I have
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