Sometimes, it’s funny to think that there are times where we take pride in ourselves that the one who knows about ourselves is ourselves as well. That often happens to me. But, to me, it also causes misunderstanding and eventually…we seem to come to the conclusion that what we are proud of is wrong.
With the many and seemingly consecutive occasions that have come into my life, questions have been planting in my mind. Interestingly, the questions that were on my mind matched the questions stated as a guide to making this self-reflection essay.
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First, the question of values. What exactly are the things I value? What are the things I am considering? At first glance, there are too many of them. I value myself, my family, freedom, dignity, peace of mind, and even my belonging. I also value other people’s opinion, but only on the level of reflection on myself. I also value honesty, responsibility, helping and commitment. I value the little things that make up myself, whether it’s just internally or externally. In my opinion, these values are one of the branches where I see and get to know myself. As the saying goes, ‘Tell me who your friends are, and I will tell you who you are’. In this analogy, the things I value seem to be friends who can reflect on me so I can see my personality and humanity as a whole.
What are my beliefs? As time went on, my superficial beliefs gradually disappeared from my mind, but deep and important beliefs remained. I believe that there is a God, who, although named differently, is still the same. I believe in love, which is the source of goodness and brings out the true color of a person. I believe in the human right to be free and to learn to use the mind, not only to reach and truth, but also to know the content of the mind. I believe in the forgiveness of sins and shortcomings, whether it be to myself, or to others, or possibly to God. I believe in the truth, that even though it is the result of different methods of discovery and knowledge, it is still the same.
What are my needs? One of my requirements is time for myself and the things I value. Sad to think, I don’t do this very often. I also need an understanding of the sometimes differentness of my mind and an understanding of the things that are happening in my environment. I need people who will listen and understand my thoughts and feelings. Personally, I need peace of mind, greater faith in my abilities, and belief in other people. I know that my belief in God is strong, but if not completely, I still need the strength and endurance of faith in Him. Sometimes, I feel as if my hand is loosening from His grip.
Of all the things I have mentioned, my last question to myself this time is where I really am and who I am. I am a creature, a human being who continues to thrive on the very long path of life, who at every turn wonders where I am fit to proceed. Ironically, I sometimes ask myself why I chose the path I took. But whatever my choice has to offer me, I know it’s up to me.
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