My name is Sophia Arredondo. I was born December 14, 2004, in Redding, California. After my parents divorced, my mom moved my sister and me to a small town, where we have remained ever since. Growing up, my sister would regularly speak for me. While this took part in my shyness, I was invariably a happy kid. After the move, I quickly developed a tight-knit friend group consisting of 3 girls and myself. Life was good, and we were content, aside from the occasional drama. However, as the years passed, things started to change; and the happy, shy girl would soon be gone.
Fast-forward 11 years later to the beginning of ninth grade. I was at home lying on my bed crying to my mom. My friends had broken me into an empty shell of a human being. I didn't know how to react. I felt numb and was unaware of the tears rolling down my cheeks. Unlike myself, these girls thrived on drama. Whenever problems occurred, they always revolved back over being my fault. My insecurities were thrown in my face and used against me. There was a never-ending competition; in which there was no finish line. I got broken down and purposefully made to feel bad about myself. Worse off, I started to believe these things and allowed myself to change.
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I became the girl who refused to rise and walk to the stage when the speaker would call her name at award assemblies. In photos, I would hide in the back and hope not to be seen. I was the kid who chose not to dress up for Halloween because they didn't want attention. I was embarrassed and didn't want to give my friends yet another reason to take shots at me. They made me believe I was too fat or too stupid to experience these things. Being the butt of every joke became exhausting. Cutting me down only fed their starving insecurities. Yet, I constantly found myself apologizing for who knows what.
However, at the beginning of ninth grade, I was done. I had been picked apart by vultures like a dead animal on the side of the road. I became incapable of sticking my foot in my mouth. Therefore I knew it was time for me to end this 11-year toxic friendship. I slowly removed myself little by little. Soon I blocked their messages that would try to reel me back in. It was lonely at first, but I started branching out. Having lunch with different people and making new friendships felt exhilarating.
I found myself feeling better and less stressed. I was able to talk with my old friends and create a resolution. While we are no longer close, they can accept what I want. By taking these steps I found myself. I had a newfound confidence and was proud of my ability to stand up for myself. Overall I learned that doing what is best for you sometimes, can make you stronger. While it may be hard at first, I can promise there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
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