Can Facebook damage relationships? You might ask, no it saved me from a relationship instead here’s my story:
At the incipiency, I didn’t meet her on Facebook but Facebook ended the relationship.
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Three years ago, I fell in love with this young girl I met at the coffee café where she had come to learn how to make coffee and work as a staff thereafter. I was then working as a coffee sales manager at the coffee shop near me.
She had this pretty look on her face and her stature was something I always wished to see in a girl. Her voice was so angelic and her fragrance alluring, with a mere look on her, I quickly guessed she was in her early twenties. And I was right.
How do I walk up to her and tell her how I feel right inside of me, should I do so now or later? I decided not to say a thing (express my feelings) for her but to hold on until she was almost getting through with her training.
My reasons for the delay in talking to her about friendship were to help her stay concentrated as she learns. I thought it was too early to discuss relationships with her, I had to wait and see the flow of things at my own risk of losing her into the hands of other guys or still getting her if she’s mine.
Her training with the coffee company lasted for six months it was then I decided to open up to her. It was probably my first time talking to a girl about love, I was first surrounded with the thoughts of how to say love you for the first time, or should I just get ready on how to say I like her and which should come first?
Honestly, I couldn’t figure out which would work out the best in starting a relationship with her, the fear of being rejected was dominant in my mind. So I would possibly put measures to make sure I don’t feel ashamed talking to a girl if the response turned negative.
Luckily for me, she accepted to date me after a discussion with her that lasted for an hour. This shows that there’s a connection between both of us, we have feelings for each other but pretence has been the driver of our past activities. So today we all opened up to face our greatest fear and start a new relationship.
It was the best day I will always remember, it is when the conation of finding love was solved. Regardless of how good or bad things later turned out, I will always remember the first time a girl accepted to date me. It holds a great memory.
We became love birds, everyone felt free to discuss and solve pressing needs together. This was how we nurtured our relationship to grow to an enviable height that we are becoming the talk of the town as a good example of dating. We’re probably the Romeo and Juliet in the neighborhood.
I always needed her around me so she does want to see me often and talk with me, most of the time we could spend a bunch of time during the weekend as this is probably free time for almost everyone. Going to the market, church, and cinema together is habitual.
It was a bolt out of the blue finding out this pretty angel was a virgin, this contradicted my earlier hearings about virgins and how hard it is to see a virgin girl at 20 in today’s society. I avouch virgins still exist, grown-up.
Life was gradual and everything moving well being in a relationship with her. So I’m the lucky guy who became her first love and you’re right to point at us as couples convinced by how we care about each other.
A few months later, I got introduced to the family this was during a child dedication ceremony, I was dumbfounded to learn they already know a lot about me. Oh, you already discussed me with your people? That’s fine it made my explanations easier, I said in a soft tone and she smiled.
I had the opportunity to converse with the elder sister who said: “nice match” She complimented us and gave us relationship advice anchored on taking each other seriously and the desired commitments deemed as standard for a healthy relationship. I was beginning to feel this great sense of belonging, she introduced me to her family members and none said bad about me.
Letting your family know about your date isn’t usually a successful event in my country, you wouldn’t want to attempt doing so either. In my country (Nigeria) most parents reprimand their kids from getting into a relationship they most times could lie to their children about falling in love and wouldn’t want to see them often with the opposite sex.
Luckily for us, we both got admission to further our studies in the tertiary institution but something unfortunate was that we were offered admission into separate schools. She had to live in a hostel while I resided somewhere close to my school.
There was probably nothing to worry about, it was just a shift from a close relationship to a long-distance relationship. I always believed everything would still work out the way it has always been. So I didn’t think otherwise and I was right my instinct convinced me to believe long-distance relationship still works.
The bond in our relationship was too strong and enjoyable that we put in our best to keep the relationship in a good or better state, we met during the weekend at the shopping mall, at her school or mine since we’re all in the same state, the difference was just in schools and the distance in a relationship could be on an estimate of 12km. We recognize the importance of effective communication in a long-distance relationship and do our best to make it delightful.
To put my best into her studies, and encourage her to take her studies seriously was my top priority, I am a lover of education and she has always been a backbone to mine. I would have no reason to miss lectures as this will spike up a problem in our relationship.
The way things fit in place left me sunk in the thinking of where our relationship is headed in the next few years. I was beginning to feel loved every day and I thought of marrying my girlfriend. She adds beauty by day, I would want to spend the rest of my life with her, her arms around me keep me warm and promise me how great our tomorrow will be.
We could be seen naming our future kids, I would always argue I wanted my first child to be a boy and she would say hell no! She will give birth to a girl child first, and I would jokingly say but according to my biology teacher, it is the male that determines the gender :).
The semester ended well and we all communicated over our performances for the semester and made good scores on our papers. We’re on holiday and waiting for the next academic session.
The new academic session is here, the holidays lasted for about 3 weeks only. she had to relocate and live off the campus as instructed by her school. During this period she has blended well with the school environment, and activities and has made a good number of friends who she studies in a group with.
Her group was close in contact and they were free to discuss relationship issues among themselves and issues relationship advice among themselves.
She introduced her friends to me, it was nice getting to know who her friends were, they all looked nice but from their appearances and approaches in our little-held conversation, I knew this crew wasn’t right for my girlfriend.
There’s nothing I could say to convince her to break apart from her friends, I only advised her to be careful of the types of friends she keeps. She had promised me to always be a good girl and the loyal girlfriend I have always known. She’s free to keep me in the loop about her activities in school, hangouts, and parties and would listen to me whenever I refuse her honoring an event.
Deplorably she’s beginning to receive recommendations from her friends to have a nearby male friend since I am not too close to attend to her in case of emergencies. When she confided in me about this, I reminded her of my promises to always be there for her and she had calmed my fears that she wouldn’t allow that to happen.
I believed all she said because love couldn’t allow me to think otherwise of all she has said, little or nothing did I know it was already happening, a romantic relationship with another guy at the same building (a public house)
I am beginning to have the impulse that something might be going on between my girlfriend and the other guy who’s claiming to be caring and supportive. I approached her about it, she said it’s just a lodge mate, it’s not a romantic relationship he’s just my bestie. But baby I should be your boyfriend and bestie and not someone else, I was not comfortable with my girlfriend being too close to another guy and titling it bestie.
I was beginning to feel so insecure but had no proof to break up with her over cheating. During this period I could see my relationship aching, thoughts that my girlfriend was cheating on me, couldn’t leave my mind but I only needed to know if my girlfriend was cheating on me or not.
Otherwise, she will have it that I’m always suspecting she’s cheating on me. She’s beginning to take it that her boyfriend is too serious and this is unlike that of her friends, she needs freedom, and she doesn’t like me being too protective over her maybe this wasn’t a thing I should do. But I would always like to have a girlfriend who wouldn’t allow me to get too close with other girls.
Our relationship was beginning to lack trust since putting a stop to the communication between her and the other guy turned out problematic. I couldn’t say how sweet or better it is, I am pretty confused but I am just sure things weren’t the way they were at incipiency.
A few of my friends who questioned my recent looks and character noticed this relationship was eating me up and advised me to break up with her, but this wasn’t anything easy for me for I got bathed in the thinking if I would ever find love elsewhere. I keep on pushing, waiting for a piece of concrete evidence she’s cheating on me and expecting her to change for good if she cheats. She was just a suspect, it’s not yet over until I have proof.
I have been curious over the months fighting with her over a guy and couldn’t say goodbye because I have yet to find out the truth. Something tangible will be the best way to let her know she was cheating on you and now you know.
On a fateful day, she visited me and asked, me to log in to Facebook using my device, after which she forgot to log out of Facebook on my device. This was how I began to read my girlfriend’s messenger chats without her knowing. My interest was always in the chat between the concerned parties, they already had customized the Facebook chat color to purple, lovely I guess.
Although tracking my girlfriend’s Facebook messenger or reading her chats on Facebook isn’t deemed normal. I wasn’t supposed to keep my eyes on it, but insecurities led me into being a girlfriend messenger spy.
I began what I call the hard relationship task scrolling their chats, it was cumbersome. Likely my initial thoughts that my girlfriend was cheating on me could be true, the chat was so romantic and shouldn’t come from someone who’s in a relationship. But I need to be sure they were having sex.
Here’s what broke the camel’s back! I scrolled down to a handful of sex chats across every single communication between them on Facebook with a little “Have you eaten?” and questions regarding their menstrual cycle including what their sexual experiences are, and a sizeable volume of chats badmouthing me. In their chats, I was already her ex-boyfriend but she never told me or broke up with me.
Unfortunately, I couldn’t put to writing all that happened how deep it cut my emotions, and how disrespected I felt dating a girl I have always loved and provided for with all my heart only for her to break my heart by cheating on me with a stranger, someone she recently met at the lodge.
Memories or warnings and advice I received not to date her but I insisted because I was fooled by the love that I had seen the right person for my heart, Robert my thoughts all through I was in dare need of how to get over a cheating girlfriend, can I be able to stop my girlfriend for cheating and will she still love me if she cheated on me?
I showed her the chats and she denied not to do anything of such, she would always say Baby please it’s not what you think whenever I expressed sadness over the incident, she would quickly say but we’re not yet married. Oh my goodness this sucks, I probably could see her believing about dating. So you can cheat around because you’re not married yet, that's what you think? This was probably her philosophy about dating.
I saw her Facebook messenger chats, a terrible sex chat of a cheating girlfriend, I confronted her about it but she didn’t feel sorry or apologize to me, and then I saw she was not sorry for her actions. Everything was her deliberate act, she has chosen what she thinks is the best so I have to let go, I feel hurt right inside me to say goodbye, but there’s nothing I can do, it’s too late, I have been used, she’s nothing but a cheat and a lier.
It all ended the everyday Facebook helped me find out my girlfriend cheated on me and kept on denying.
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