A divorce is described as the legal dissolution of a marriage by a court or other competent body, in other words, it’s the separating or dissociation from something in this scenario a spouse. According to the American Psychological Association about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. This statistic seems to be rising as time passes by at an alarming pace. There are numerous problems that a divorce may cause in the life of people directly and indirectly, however, certain issues that arise due to a divorce could also be avoided or fixed if it is handled in the right manner.
One of the major issues comes when children are involved in the marriage process, it is no secret that if a divorce does not go on as smoothly as it could go it may result in a lot of issues with the children involved in the family. According to the American Psychological Association article “How to split as smooth as possible” children often experience more problems when parents remain in high-conflict marriages instead of splitting up. So while a divorce might cause issues for the child, it is normally advisable to take the route of a divorce when a marriage seems to be more bad than good. In many scenarios the parents who are divorcing need to but do not explain to the child what is going to happen and what caused the issue. Not knowing what caused this leads a lot of children to believe that they might have been the cause of their parent's divorce. I believe this is the first issue with the idea of a divorce. Honestly explaining to the children that they had nothing to do with the reasons as to why their parents have made such a decision could dramatically result in alleviating the an ounce but not all of the sadness that a divorce brings to the children involved.
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Another issue is the fact that many couples do not seek premarital counseling. Typically, couples who participate in premarital counseling demonstrate overall positive psychological health (Stahmann, 2000 as cited in Murry and Murry, 2004) and do not have serious relationship problems (Senediak, 1990 as cited in Murry and Murry, 2004). The Parents should always try to prevent or if during the marriage work to use alternative ways to fix any problems that lead may to getting a divorce. It’s a saying that goes like this “Prevention is better than a cure”. And in this situation prevention of a divorce is always better than getting one. Making the act of getting a divorce in the first place a major issue regardless of how the situation is approached. The reason why the simple notion of the parents getting a divorce is a problem in the first place is that regardless of the outcome, a child’s life will be changed which normally results in significant mental developmental problems if not addressed properly.
The other issue with this concept is that certain parents are not strategic as to when or how the child is informed about this decision or even how long it takes for the child to be told about the decision. Generally, you want to tell your children about your decision to get a divorce sooner rather than later. You do not want to wait until your husband moves out. Kids are incredibly intuitive, so even though you think they might not know about this, they could already have an idea. And they need to hear it from you, and not from anyone else. The sooner you talk about it, the better. (Ravitz 2019). Numerous issues arise due to a divorce in a family, one could write for days about all the issues one is opened to when the conversation of a divorce is started. I believe however the number one issue with divorce is divorce.
In other words, we should try as much as humanly possible to prevent and work on issues before and during a marriage to avoid the possibility of marriages ending in divorce. Understandably, sometimes a divorce is inevitable no matter how much both parents try to work things out, in circumstances with there are ways as to which an individual is supposed to proceed to reduce the emotional distress it might cause parties involved especially the children or child. While each child may be different depending on the age or even personality, according to relate.org.uk these guidelines serve as the basic guidelines when a parent wants to break the news of a divorce to their children. It includes avoiding details they don’t need, such as information about affairs, using language the child will understand, reassuring your child that it’s ok to be upset, and letting them know that they can talk to you again if they want to. Another thing the parent can do to help in this situation is to also have answers to certain questions ready due to the likelihood of it being asked, like who will I live with, will I move and so much more. While different children will have different reactions to their parents getting a divorce, it is safe to say that some of the above-stated guidelines on how to break the news of a divorce to a child will be a great guideline when the situation calls for it.
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