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A ten-year-old girl asks her grandma, “Why did the marriage last longer in the past?’ Her grandma answers, “In the past, people would try to fix the broken things instead of buying or replacing a new one like what people nowadays do.” Although it might sound very reasonable, there must be a misconceived concept and reason behind it. Today, many of us find such a marriage disappointing. Many people define a successful life as a successful marriage. Every generation holds a different perspective and concept on relationships and marriage. So, what is marriage? Some might say the definition of marriage is a promise, a vow to stay with the person you love. Some might even say that marriage is the graveyard of love. In fact, we cannot give a correct definition of marriage. Marriage has changed a lot throughout seventy-five years of history. As society’s needs change, so does marriage itself change. And what is the most idealist and preferred marriage over the seventy-five years? There is numerous factor that can make a difference between the marriage now and seventy-five years ago. Most importantly, culture, education, and concepts are the key ideas that will make a difference and influence the marriage throughout seventy-five years.
In today’s world, there is a lot of evidence and statistics proving that marriage has certainly gotten more difficult. The divorce rate is getting relatively higher each year. (See example Figure 1) It clearly shows that the divorce got a lot higher compared to 1950. The “divorce rate was 2.5 divorces for every one thousand people in 1950, and decreased to 2.3 in 1955”(Frank Olito, How the divorce rate has changed over the last 150 years, Insider.com) The divorce rose rapidly after 1950 and remains constant during 2010 with still a high “divorce rate of 3.6 for every one thousand people”(Frank Olito, How the divorce rate has changed over the last 150 years, Insider.com) As we all want to know and figure out the reason of the rise of the divorce rate, education changed it. In the 1950s, couples usually got married right after high school and started to raise a family at the young age of around 20 years old. “The median age at first marriage in the 1950s is just over 20 for women and about 23 for men.” (Shelly Lindbergh, The Evolving Role of Marriage: 1950-2010, fatherly.com) Compared to now, most of the couples have marriage delays and do not get married till their 30s. As I mentioned above, many of the young couples started raising family right after school. Most of the mother stays home to take care of their kids and do not have an independent financial ability. They might not have a choice to make a decision on getting a divorce since they are dependent on their husbands. Nowadays, women and men are able to have gender equality and “more and better employment opportunities”(Rob Pascale, Marriage in Today’s World, Psychologytoday.com) An example seen in Figure 2, the rate of women and men “attending college increased rapidly during the 1980s”(Shelly Lindbergh, The Evolving Role of Marriage: 1950-2010, fatherly.com) Women and men have equal rights on making different decisions on their marriage, women have more abilities to control over their marriage and no longer rely on their husbands.
After the world war ended, during the 1950s, the baby boom and the suburban boom went concurrently. They instigate “the women to leave the workforce and embrace their roles as wives”(History.com editors, The 1950s, History.com) The principle of marriage during the time was often described to be “ It was mainly a woman’s job to foster a happy marriage and steer it away from divorce.” (Margarita Tartakovsky, A Glimpse into Marriage Advice from the 1950s, Psychcentral.com) Marriage was heavily dependent on women. The marriage experts and the great bulk of the population believed that the wives should be taken responsibility for their husband’s success. They were told in a quote by Emily Mudd, a sexual and marital counselor, “To be a successful wife is a career in itself, requiring among other things, the qualities of a diplomat, a schoolteacher, a politician and a glamour girl.”(Margarita Tartakovsky, A Glimpse into Marriage Advice from the 1950s, Psychcentral.com) These quotes made by those so-called experts mislead the general public’s perspective on marriage. Women were often blamed for their husbands’ affairs or even when they wanted to get a divorce, they were “likely causing their husbands to stray, drink or be violent in the first place”(Margarita Tartakovsky, A Glimpse into Marriage Advice from the 1950s, Psychcentral.com) From this, it could be seen that women had no say and had such low status on their marriage. There were often times that couples struggled with the same issues, but instead of sharing their problems, the couples “stayed silent, since they think it is more important to keep family intact”(Rob Pascale, Marriage in Today’s World, Psychologytoday.com) Nowadays, most of us seen love is an important factor of marriage. Marriage has also been seen differently in the past seventy-five years. They regarded marriage as a permanent relationship even if the couples did not feel satisfied anymore. However, in contrast, people are more open-minded about marriage now. Hence, if couples are not happy with their marriage, they are encouraged to think that their partner is just not the right person.
In general, the idea of marriage reform is a progressive idea aimed at pursuing human liberation and breaking away from feudal shackles. The positive role played by the process of women’s liberation and women’s liberation cannot be ignored. The evolution of marriage reform ideas cannot be done overnight. It takes a long journey of history. Every generation holds a different perspective and concept on relationships and marriage. As society changes, marriage has changed a lot throughout seventy-five years of history. culture, education, and concepts are the key ideas that will make a difference and influence the marriage throughout seventy-five years.
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