Introduction to Divorce and Marriage
What is the meaning of marriage one might think it’s the happiest thing in the world, while others might think it’s the worst thing one can do in life. All human beings think differently depending on the situation. Divorce can be defined as a legal dissolution of marriage because of many factors which can be internal or external. Marriage is a bond that unites two people who decide to live together for the rest of their life and to stay side by side for health and sickness. Divorce on the other hand is the opposite of marriage which is a process couples go through when they decide not to live together. From many obstacles and difficulties, Divorce is one of the hardest things people can go through especially if a family is formed, but Nowadays, many marriages are ending in divorce in the early stages and are increasing at a higher rate all around the world. Many Societies don’t accept divorce, especially in developing countries such as most African countries and the Middle East country, on the other hand, divorce is common and very easily acceptable and even suggest as a solution in developed countries such as the United State of America. All around the world, there are many people who couldn’t stay married and choose the road to divorce for many reasons. Nowadays the rate of divorce is getting very high, one of the interesting facts is that divorce is common in educated and financially well families. Three are many causes for divorce that have been identified and that include hanging roles of women, Poverty and low income, stress found in family life, Alcoholism, lack of communication, and marriage at a young age.
Changing Roles of Women: A Catalyst for Divorce
One of the reasons for the high divorce rates is that women are changing their roles in life. In the old days, women stayed home and cared for their children and their husband. Husbands, on the other hand, were the key to everything. Women were expecting everything from their husbands including groceries, and house expenses like rent, and everything. With the changing economy and society, women are getting an education, going to school, and graduating from university. Women are changing the way things are like a marriage. Nowadays women are working and providing everything for their home as their husband does, so they don’t need to expect anything from their husband in order to provide anything which changes how marriages used to be. As women become independent, they tend to have confidence and lower tolerance for violence from their spouses. In earlier times, women were supposed to tolerate any abuse from their husbands because they had no other alternative. The equality that we are seeing today where women are more educated, are becoming their own bosses, and have their own income takes marriage into a different level. women are becoming more independent from their spouses, especially in terms of money; this high rate of independence made it easier for women to leave their husbands if they are unhappy in any case in the slightest form of provocation (Coontz 532). Over time, divorce is rampant in couples where the wife is equally educated as the husband. Women who are earning are highly likely to get divorced.
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Financial Strain: Poverty, Low Income, and Unemployment
Poverty and low income are the main problems in the world today. Many people don’t have enough food to eat or a shelter to live in. Most people will get married thinking things will be better and easier when they get married, but many people suffer a lot from poverty and face many difficulties throughout their lives. As in the book Divorce in Canada, “an impoverished couple has many more problems to cope with than a more privileged couple” (Ambert 71) the main problem that many couples must face is the issue of money. People start life thinking they will handle everything that comes their way especially if they are with their partner, but the truth is that couples with no money have the probability to argue more often because of lack of food, diversion, and unemployment. Even though some people that have these kinds of problems tend to be happier, most people find it hard to even take a breath with kind of problem. So, the only option that is left will be divorced.
A study by the National Bureau of Economic Research Inc. shows that some financial problems are more likely to lead to divorce than others. One example would be getting fired. Getting fired from a job significantly impacts the probability of getting divorced. The National Bureau of Economic Research also says that married men who are fired have an 18% higher chance of being divorced within three years of losing their jobs than men who aren’t fired from jobs. Women are said to have a 13% higher chance (Lost 26) of getting divorced if they get fired. Most of the time Getting fired will put all the burden on one person, and the person that has all the burden usually goes through a lot of stress in order to manage everything.
Stress and Money: The Impact on Marital Relationships
Stress can be a huge cause of marital difficulties (Lafayette 18). The one thing that always comes up frequently times in research is that money causes the most stress for married couples. According to PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program), money is the start of many more arguments than any other topic. Citibank also states that their research shows money to be the leading cause of divorce (Money 128). Money causes friction in the marriage, Couples that don’t have enough money, or couples that have enough money will most probably fight with their partner because of money. The search for more money has brought the dark side of most people to this day. Women can go places and do many unheard of things in the name of looking for money (Chavis, & Lyles 254). This is partly caused by the rise in living conditions. The price of food has risen around the world, gas is increasing and the cost of getting an education is on rising that never been before. With this, there is an increased struggle to get money, making people stress more.
Alcoholism and Communication Breakdown
In the modern style especially this day Alcohol and drugs play an important role in people's life. when everybody starts drinking it is always for fun, and it's not that harmful in the beginning, but when one person gets addicted to it, people's life will change forever, “may in itself be the result of a poor and disruptive marital relationship” (Ambert 85). Alcoholism problems occur in both men and women, if one partner is unhappy, and if one partner doesn’t get what they want from their partner in marriage most people will tend to turn to alcohol, where alcohol seems their one and only entertainment at that point, and they think it’s the only choice they have to make their life bearable. If only one partner is an alcoholic then the other partner might help the other to get out of the addiction by loving and caring and by keeping the marriage, but mostly it doesn’t work that way it mostly will end in divorce.
Communication is a key role in any marriage. If married people lack communication in the relationship, the bond between them will be loosened, and both partners will go their separate ways which is not going to help save the marriage, instead, it will keep the partners going separate ways, and one might be looking for someone that they can communicate well and understand them more. Not communicating enough decreases the amount of love, romance, attraction, and understanding between each other, and there will be more flights rather than love and caring relationships between the couple. As one survey taker stated, “Being stubborn, resentful, too much negativity, lack of trust and constant doubt.” are all caused due to the lack of communication between married people.
The Pitfalls of Early Marriage and Parenthood
Another common cause of divorce is getting married at a young age. Thousand of marriages occur each year, especially between 15 to 19. It is recently decreasing, but it is still high (Garber 12-13). The rate of divorce in a young marriage is extremely high. According to Jeanne Warren Lindsay, author of the book Teenage Marriage, many teenagers jump into marriage hoping to escape from an unhappy home. Many teenagers see marriage as a chance to create a safe home, which could be a happier place; Unfortunately, it usually doesn’t always work out like that. Lindsay states when teenagers are developing their own identity and going in a different direction they often, can’t keep the original relationship. These are some of the things that young married couples must deal with and unfortunately, most can’t, or don’t want to make the effort. The fact that married teenagers are forced into an adult world only adds stress to their life (Garber 12-13). they might be forced to support themselves and their spouse financially and mentally even if they are not prepared to do all that. The other factor in young marriages is pregnancy. Although pregnancy is commendable, marriage is not the way to do it. Researchers have found that a baby’s presence makes the marriage harder, especially in early marriage. The reason for this is that a young couple must struggle to adjust to parenthood and each other at the same time (Garber 12-13). Either of those two things is a lot to deal with; having both simultaneously on one’s hands can be a bit much.
The Aftermath: Effects of Divorce on Individuals and Society
Most of the time divorce has a negative effect, most children who grow up in single-parent families have always doubts and they will take the option to escape from home with any chance they get because the separation of their parents will hurt them the most and they are most likely to become street urchins. Consequently, they wouldn’t be able to get basic needs such as education, food, and shelter, making them engage in negative actions such as crime, prostitution, and drug abuse. Nonetheless, some of the effects of divorce can be positive. For instance, when couples get a divorce peacefully it might be healthy for both individuals. They will concentrate on other life matters, and they will live their own life without wasting each other time. Children will also have a positive experience from peaceful divorce; they will be free from heartbreaks caused by unpeaceful divorce and they might find their path in life and get high self-esteem. Furthermore, they can also benefit from divorce when the court decides on the division of their income which will help both to manage their finances for the sustenance of their children.
Conclusion: Reflections on Marriage and Divorce
In conclusion, Marriage or all relationships require consistency and an equal or fair level of effort from everyone involved. Despite the number of files on divorce cases raised in courts today, the two must remain together to form a healthy family. Staying side by side with each other is what they need despite the upheavals that increase due to ideological differences in marriage (Hank, 2011). Currently, divorce occurs because of the lack of communication, stress caused by modern life, the empowerment of women, and many more reasons that will lead to both positive and negative effects. Couples without children see it as significant to divorce with their consent to solve their differences while those with children should ensure that their children should not be victims of the broken relationship. Nevertheless, people should think wisely before choosing a life partner to lower the increasing divorce rate. there are many causes of divorce. A relationship can be saved if you have better communication with each other, if one is addicted to something one can help the partner come out and save their life. People can’t change poverty, but if four hands start working together, life can be changed.