Essay on the Making of a Divorce Culture

Filipinos have always been regarded as family-oriented citizens. The Philippine Constitution considers family as the basic unit of society thus, ideally, couples who are joined in marriage are expected to have children, build stable bonds as a family, and stay together until the end, which is the common Filipino concept of family life. However, Sta. Anna-Gatbonton & Hunt claim that some marriages crumble for one reason or another which frequently leads to wanting for a permanent legal dissolution of marriage before the death of either spouse, otherwise known as divorce. However, the fight to legalize such a law in the Philippines has always been put to uncertainty due to the dominance of Catholic belief in the country and legislation, but now that the drive to push for its passage is back on course, would the answer remain the same?

According to Emery, aside from the Vatican City, the Philippines is the only country in the world without a general divorce law, but as of today, the country’s legal regime authorizes legal separation, annulment, and declaration of nullity of marriage, although divorce by Muslims and indigenous people as well as one that is legitimately acquired abroad by a foreigner against a Filipino spouse, is sanctioned. “Should divorce be legalized in the country?” a known query that remains to be controversial until today. Religious communities have a belief that a man and woman, upon taking oaths and vows, declared faithfulness and tightened bonds to each other that even death cannot sever, for which it has become a focal underlying reason behind their strong resistance to the idea of divorce. However, each family faces a different kind of reality that circumstances of the other may not be the same with the minority. Undeniably, not all marriages remain a permanent and ideal union between husband and wife. The situations are not at all analogous and with that, the law affords a solution in the form of divorce to respond to a particular marital quandary falling within its contemplation to which the country, I think, should now be receptive.

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Despite the Philippines being a predominantly Catholic country, a survey conducted by the Social Weather Stations on March 25-28, 2017, and December 8-16, 2017 showed that an average of 53% of adult Filipinos nationwide support the legalization of divorce for irreconcilably separated couples and agreed to the test statement stating that “Married couples who have already separated and cannot reconcile anymore should be allowed to divorce so that they can get legally married again.” The results further revealed “very strong” net agreement among women with live-in partners, men with live-in partners, and widowed/separated men. These results are voices of the majority that call for the passage of bills pursuing divorce which until now has not been heard of yet.

The conformity with the act of divorce is based on various grounds viewed from different perspectives of people who are to be involved in the case of legal marital dissolution. Contrary to the common belief that divorce leads to breaking family ties, Jacob posited that divorce protects and molds families to become more resilient, as, in the first place, a conflict-laden relationship between husband and wife in a family may have a greater possibility of affecting the children of the conflicted couple emotionally, mentally, and physically. Maxwell & Maxwell found that Filipino adolescents who observed familial aggression and violence are more likely to tend to adopt higher aggression despite gender. Meanwhile, in a study by Lambert in an article in the Journal of Divorce and Remarriage, several advantages of parental divorce experienced by children of divorced parents in Kentucky are reported. The children explained that the divorce of their parents is to be accounted why they learned many lessons on handling relationships and how they have become more resilient. They further stated that divorce provided them with “happier” parents, closer siblings, more attention from their parents, less stress/tension brought by frequent arguments, and an expanded social network as more family members supported them. This is similar to a statement of Takahashi, a member of the feminist group The Maya Collective and a daughter of divorced parents, in an article by Santos. “If keeping the family together means domestic violence, lack of family support, substance abuse, infidelity, health, and financial incapacities, then I don’t want it,” Takahashi’s statement went viral. Although not all children may feel the same way.

Amato & Irving posited that there are various programs and interventions for aiding parents and children to cope with the aftereffects of divorce that were examined by some research in the United States. They were found to be useful and effective such as divorce education classes, court or community-based education programs, and divorce mediation.

In an article by Santos, amid the hearing for the approval of divorce bills, Stella Sibonga took the courage to provide narration of her experience of living under her abusive husband who, according to Sibonga, put her in a marital purgatory through the usage of a machete which could have harmed her and their offsprings. Additionally, Len, who refused to reveal her surname publicly, suffered the same agony of enduring her husband’s philandering and physical abuse of her and her children. These are only a few situations where divorce could be of a big help. According to Gillis in an article by Jacob (2013), divorce serves as a “safety valve” that limits the conduct of domestic violence. He further added that divorce grants maltreated other halves an effective remedy to prevent such cases. With the fact that, currently, nullity, annulment, and legal separation are “expensive and discriminatory in favor of the right and powerful” Dalangin-Fernandez, the passage of this bill makes it easier for people to stay out of dysfunctional or abusive marriages for them to look for greater fulfillment with more compatible spouses and for them to develop personal growth within themselves.

Another point of advantage that was stressed by Jacob is that it is compliance with international human rights obligation as it is implied in the “right of to non-discrimination”, “equality of men and women”, “against torture and cruel”, “inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment”, and “to marriage and family”. This aims to protect both men and women from an abusive and unhealthy marriage, as it promotes equality of both male and female gender. A study by Yodanis examined the cross-national relationship between a divorce culture on a national level and gender equality in intact marriages. The results indicated that a divorce culture on the national level is linked to an increase in marital equality. This means that in countries where divorce is possible, the work between women and men in marriage is more equal pertaining that a possibility of divorce gives women a chance to have a more equal state with men within marriage.

Moreover, the current legal setting on marital dissolution bears discrimination based on economic class and gender thus, the chance of legalization of divorce in the country should also be given a fair share of consideration. Looking at the divorce bill, Cupin mentioned that divorce will be cheaper and faster compared to annulments. According to him, the Divorce Bill has clauses for providing maintenance to the innocent spouse, as well as waiving litigation fees for divorce applicants whose real properties are below PHP 5M. The bill looks into every part of the process of divorce. First, the bill was said to be drafted in consultation with OFWs, women’s groups, and other stakeholders. Second, there is a 6-month cooling-off period (waived for domestic abuse cases) and a ‘change of heart’ clause, should the couple agree to stay together even after the application has been filed. If not, then a lawyer, social worker, psychologist, and psychiatrist will be assigned to each case, and a joint plan for parenthood will be arranged. Furthermore, Daytec-Yangot claimed that allowing divorce among Muslims and indigenous people of the country while denying it to other Filipinos is a form of discrimination based on religion and ethnicity which is repugnant to Section 1, Article III of the 1987 Constitution that aims to preserve equality among Filipinos before the law. She further added that it is certainly a violation of the equal protection clause to force people to remain in unhappy or abusive marriages simply because they are poor, they are not Muslims, or they are not members of indigenous communities. Happiness is a universal human right, after all.

However, despite the agreement of the majority and the push of many lawmakers for divorce laws in the country, it has been continually denied. “What God has put together let no man put asunder”. This biblical quote is frequently heard among Filipinos, particularly among the older generations, to emphasize the significance and holiness of marriage. Abalos stated that the indissolubility of marriage is strongly advocated by the Catholic Church, which consists of about 80% of Filipino citizens. In an address delivered by Most Reverend Eric F. MacKenzie, S.T.D., J.C.D in Fall River, Massachusetts on June 29, 1953, he stated, “The Catholic Church strongly condemned divorce and remarriage as it taints the sacred character of marriage and the permanence of union ties.” This statement of MacKenzie points out to the solid opposition of church on the proposal of any form of divorce in all countries bound with Christianity.

Indeed, marriage is a sacrament vow of eternal union between man and woman, but circumstances cannot be predicted to be similar with all families. Marriage is rooted in love and the purpose of spending the rest of their lives with each other. However, for men and women who experienced quite the opposite of what they expected marriage to be and who are trapped in an unhappy marriage, divorce serves as the best way out of the failing marriage. If the love that binds a couple vanishes and turns out to be a rope that strangles and takes away one’s life is it still worthy for the couple to hang into? Others may say that divorce destroys family, but for others, it is the only resort left to save what is left there to be saved. Divorce is for those whose marriages have failed. Therefore, it should not be a hindrance to those who are happily married in the first place. Lastly, all laws are subjected to abuse, the best thing one can do is to exercise properly what the government shall permit us.

Bibliography:

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