Essay on Trauma Bonded Relationship

The common mental effect of Childhood Sexual Abuse is Post-traumatic stress disorder which is considered a mental health condition that is triggered by terrifying events, including flashbacks, nightmares, severe anxiety, and uncontrollable thoughts. Some survivors experience flashbacks or painful memories while engaging in sexual activity which causes them to be uninterested and it causes complications in relationships. Victims of these activities are usually sad, discouraged, and negative, and have no hope for their future. [footnoteRef:1] [1: Post-traumatic stress disorder is known to be a type of anxiety disorder, but the therapy has three main goals which are: the improvement of symptoms, learning skills to deal with it, and restoration of self-esteem. ]

Childhood sexual abuse is the deliberate exposure of a minor to sexual activities without their consent. This behavior includes acts of vaginal, anal, or oral penetration touching a child's genitals or private parts for sexual pleasure, and child molestation. The associated consequences of child sexual abuse may continue long into adulthood affecting women's and men's sexual satisfaction, anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, and addictive or compulsive patterns of behavior.[footnoteRef:2] [2: To prevent these activities as parents you must be involved in your child’s life, show interest, and teach them boundaries so that they would be encouraged to speak up.]

Save your time!
We can take care of your essay

• Proper editing and formatting
• Free revision, title page, and bibliography
• Flexible prices and money-back guarantee

Place an order

Compulsive patterns of behavior are an obsessive-compulsive disorder that persons feel driven to perform, they are trapped in a pattern of repetitive actions. It is believed that all these terrible experiences do have effects on persons whether it be negative or positive. This also contributes to BDSM which is a variety of often erotic practices. The negative effect of this can cause victims to become dominant (having power or control), submissive (ready to conform to the authority and submit to dominant partner), and/or switch (someone who enjoys switching roles from dominant to submissive).

Recently, Lifetime debuted the bombshell documentary series, “Surviving R. Kelly,” in a special three-night-event, which highlighted a myriad of allegations made against the mercurial singer dating back to the early '90s. Women are emerging from the shadows and uniting their voices to share their stories. Celebrated as one of the greatest R&B singers of all time Kelly, Robert genre genre-defining career and playboy lifestyle have been riddled with rumors of abuse, predatory behavior, and pedophilia. Despite damning evidence and multiple witnesses, to date, none of these accusations have seemingly affected him. For the first time, survivors and people from Kelly, Robert's inner circle, are coming forward with new allegations about his sexual, mental, and physical abuse. They are now finally ready to share their full story and shed light on the secret life the public has never seen. After all the allegations Kelly, Robert allegedly released a 19 minutes’ song “I Admit It”. Some lines from the song are, “I admit making mistakes, liking young ladies, having intercourse with a couple of fans, did things I shouldn’t done, I admit I’m a freak, I admit a family member touched me from a child to age 14 while I was asleep, took my virginity”. He also labels the accusations against him as “opinions” and “assumptions”. [footnoteRef:3] [3: Kelly, Robert was charged with 10 Counts of Sexual Abuse in Chicago on February 22, 2019. ]

In Dr. Carnes, Patrick's book The Betrayal Bond, eight trauma responses common among individuals who meet the criteria for sexual addiction are identified;

• Trauma reactions: Where a person struggles with a series of Post-traumatic stress disorder reactions. Perhaps they are triggered by similar events, or they avoid or self-sabotage to avoid being hurt again.
• Trauma blocking: where a person tries to do anything to escape uncomfortable feelings. Usually some form of numbing, comforting, relaxing, and anesthetizing. This could be done by using drugs, alcohol, sex, or sleeping.
• Trauma arousal: where stimulation and pleasure compensate for pain and emptiness.
• Trauma splitting: Daydreaming, being preoccupied with something else that needs to be attended to, living in a fantasy world when things get tough, and losing yourself in fantasies or drugs/alcohol.
• Trauma abstinence: feeling the need to be in control and to go without. Deprivation. The feeling of unworthiness. Where a person denies themselves basic needs like groceries, shoes, books, medical care and avoids sexual pleasure
• Trauma shame: Feeling unworthy and having shame due to the trauma experience.
• Trauma repetition: Recreating the same traumatic experiences over and over. It can be repeatedly doing something self-destructive, usually something that took place in childhood and started with a trauma
• Trauma bonding: destructive bonds formed by betrayal and hurt.

These patterns of behaviors are often unconscious attempts to reconcile, reframe, or repair the abuse that happened in youth.

Recent research shows that men who are addicted to sex are highly likely to have suffered trauma in their childhoods. Over the years some would become dysfunctional and “accept” abuse as though it is a part of their life. When sexual arousal occurs at a mature age the individual can develop a healthy perspective on intimacy and sex. But, when it occurs before they have matured enough, these same neural pathways become associated with negative emotions such as fear, shame, secrecy, confusion, physical distress, jealousy, and rage.

Can victims of sexual abuse have an ordinary life? Yes, let’s look at it from a positive perspective. Emmitt Perry, Jr. is a media mogul sitting at the top of the A-list, but he did not only suffer physical abuse from his father, he also suffered sexual abuse from three other persons, two being a male and one a female. Emmitt Perry, Jr. had a painful past, and he describes it as “A LIVING HELL” he felt like he died as a child because of the hate from his biological father and the abuse he experienced at a young age. Up to this day, he said that he does not know why his father abused him psychologically, physically, and verbally. Mr. Perry, was six years old when he was first molested by a man in the neighborhood, the second time was in the hospital when a male doctor attempted the same thing by touching him inappropriately, and the third time was when a male member of the church used God and the bible against him to justify what he was doing. Emmitt Perry, Jr. said it was the first time someone performed oral sex on him, when he was ten years old, his friend’s mother told him to go home, but she had locked the door and was holding the key. She then laid on the table, opened her legs, and pushed the key inside of her private area then told him. to get it. Mr. Perry began to get scared, she then forced him on top of her and removed his clothes. That was his first sexual intercourse.[footnoteRef:4] [4: The results of this caused him to have a lot of rages, but Emmitt Perry, Jr. found Christ, Jesus, and relates his story now with one of strength, courage, and victory. He turned to his faith for comfort and sought refuge.]

Remember the movie Addicted? “When Reynar Zoe ( Leal, Sharon) life was perfect with her husband Jason (Kodjoe, Boris), but Zoe was not sexually satisfied with her husband, so she began to engage in pornography and masturbation to fulfill her desires. After that Zoe met someone she wanted to do business with, the day after she went to Canosa, Quinton's (Levy, William) apartment to get the contract papers signed but in return, she was seduced, even though she tried to resist she failed and became venerable. They both continued an unhealthy relationship until it was called off by Zoe and when she appeared at Quinton’s apartment she caught him having sex with his next-door neighbor. Throughout the film, Zoe is telling this story as a flashback to her psychotherapist, Dr. Spencer, Marcella (Smith, Tasha), who after diagnosing her with sex addiction, assumes it might have been something from Zoe's past that keeps coming back to haunt her and pressures her to confess. However, each time her psychotherapist asks, Zoe avoids the question and walks out. Her addiction begins to take over her life, and she soon begins to sleep with another man, Corey (Beckford, Tyson), whom she met at a club. Zoe decides that she wants to try to fix her marriage with her husband. She invites both Corey and Quinton to meet her at Quinton's apartment. Saying she does not want to say it twice, she breaks up with the two and through this, they realize that she had been sleeping with both of them. Corey becomes angry, but after the altercation, he leaves. Zoe was then afraid of Quinton and she tried to calm him down, but Quinton became obsessive and told her that she was not going to leave him anymore. While Quinton was about to physically abuse Zoe her husband appeared and knocked out Quinton. Zoe runs after Jason, apologizing profusely, but he rejects her, telling her he does not want to be with a 'lying, cheating whore', and for him she is dead. Out of desperation, Zoe walks out in front of the car, injuring herself. Zoe becomes a recluse but soon goes to a sex addiction group therapy session. It was discovered that the root of Zoe's addiction was rape committed by three white boys when she was ten years old. [footnoteRef:5] [5: This is an example of Compulsive patterns of behavior.]

What about the movie 50 Shades of Grey?” When twenty-one-year-old Anastasia 'Ana' interviewed Grey, Christian, a twenty-seven-year-old billionaire entrepreneur, for her roommate, Kavanagh, Kate because she fell ill and was unable to do the interview. A while after the interview, they began seeing each other, though he insisted that she sign a non-disclosure agreement preventing her from revealing details about their dalliance. Ana reveals that she was a virgin. While considering the agreement and negotiating her terms, and after visiting his 'playroom', a room stocked with a variety of BDSM toys, furniture, and gear, Christian and she had sex. Ana continues seeing Christian, who wants further sexual experimentation. Ana initially consents, but Christian keeps emotionally distant, upsetting her. While still considering the contract, and understanding Christian psychologically, Ana asks him to demonstrate how he would 'punish' her for rule-breaking. Christian whips Ana's buttocks with a belt. Upset and disgusted, Ana breaks up with Christian after concluding that he is wrong for her and that his practices border on being deviant and excessive. At the end of this Christian explained that he was introduced to these sexual activities from a young age by a female family friend and that is the reason why he reacts the way he does”. [footnoteRef:6] [6: A non-disclosure agreement is a contract stating that information shared must stay confidential. This is also an act of Compulsive patterns of behavior.]

After paying attention to Kelly, Robert's accusations, Emmitt Perry, Jr.'s confession, and both movies that were summarized, Addicted and 50 Shades of Grey, knowledge was gained that compulsive patterns of behavior are likely to occur. Unhelpful ways of coping with past or present abuse is deciding to not report or speak out about the situation, it gives you a temporary help for you to believe that you are “fine” and unbothered about what happened would not help you. Sexual assaults are traumatic, and pretending that it never existed does not change the fact that it happened. Very often when individuals forego trauma treatment, they may temporarily feel a lot better and not even think about what happened too often. This effect may even last for several years. However, all unfinished psychological business eventually catches up and can create significant distress in your life. It is highly suggested that you seek treatment sooner rather than later. Trauma-focused therapy includes: Helping you calm and soothe yourself, Increase your awareness of, and access to, inner strengths and outside resources, Process specific memories, through carefully guided talk and/or writing, Challenge yourself to reconnect and do non-dangerous things you have been avoiding since the traumatic event(s), Challenge trauma-based thinking, so that you can restore a healthy mental framework for living, Make meaning of what happened and how it has affected your deepest self and your family, Reduce symptoms of depression and anxiety, Increase personal sense of confidence and competence, Regain your quality of life, including enhanced relationships with others, greater activity level, and more positive and stable mood, Reduce, if not eliminate and trauma-reaction symptom(s) of Post-traumatic stress disorder.[footnoteRef:7] [7: This is some relative suggestions for persons who experienced sexual abuse. ]

References

1. Barbash, Ph.D. Elyssa. Psychology Today, 2019 Sussex Publishers, LLC. 18 April 2017. Overcoming Sexual Assault: Symptoms & Recovery. 8 February 2019. .
2. Bellis, Nigel and Astral Finnie. Lifetime, 2019, A&E Television Network, LLC. 3-5 January 2019. Surviving R. Kelly. 28 January 2019.
3. Carnes, Ph.D. Patrick J. Thrive After Abuse, Magazine WordPress. Ed. Dana. 16 September 2017. The Betrayal Bond: Breaking Free of Exploitive Relationships. 6 February 2019.
4. Depression Help, 2019 · Interior Pro Theme on Genesis Framework. Ed. Dennis. 23 November 2017. Depression Post Stress Traumatic 2018. 3 February 2019.
5. James, Erika Leonard. Wikipedia Contributors, Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 30 January 2019. Fifty Shades of Grey. 31 January 2019.
6. Lohmann , Ph.D., LPCS Raychelle Cassade. Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, LLC. 26 January 2018. Childhood Sexual Trauma and Addiction. 30 January 2019.
7. Perry, Jr Emmitt. Epic Victories. 12 November 2012. From Abuse to Riches. 27 January 2019.
8. Perry, Jr Emmitt. Tyler Perry talks about being abused. with Oprah Winfrey. The Oprah Winfrey Show. 20 October 2010. .
9. Perry, Jr Emmitt. Wikipedia Contributors, Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 19 January 2019. Tyler Perry. 20 January 2019.
10. R.Kelly. Genius, 2019 Genius Media Group Inc. 23 July 2018. Noc & R. Kelly. I Admit. 28 January 2019. .
11. RAINN, RAINN2019. n.d. Adult Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse. 30 January 2019.
12. Rustvold, LMSW, MEd Cassandra. The Meadows, Meadows Behavioral Healthcare. 28 June 2016. The Impact of Childhood Sexual Abuse on Adult Sexuality. 26 January 2019. .
13. Surviving R. Kelly. By Astral Finnie Nigel Bellis. Dir. Allison Brandin. Perf. Tarana Burke, Sparkle, Kitti Jones, Wendy Williams Andrea Kelly. Prod. Allison Brandin. 2019. 12 January 2019.
14. Turner, Joe. GentlePath at the Meadows, The Meadows Web Team. 29 June 2017. Male Sexual Abuse Survivors Often Struggle with Sex Addiction. 8 February 2019.
15. Ullmann, Amanda. Hercampus, Her Campus Media, LLC. 11 Febuary 2009-2019. BDSM For Dummies. 26 January 2019. .
16. Welsh, Christina, and Ernie Barbarash. Wikipedia Contributors, Wikipedia, The Free Encyclopedia. 25 January 2019. Addicted (2014 film). 26 January 2019.