Failure should not be seen as the snake that leads us back to square one, but rather the ladder that pushes us closer to the top. I remember when I was 8 years old, I was playing tennis with my family. It was my parents against my brother and me, and obviously, my parents were letting us win. After some time, my parents starting to hit get some points in. Slowly, I got frustrated and started shouting “Hey, get the ball!” to my brother who was only trying his best. I soon gave up and walked off the court, later coming back after my mum told me to 'calm down. It's okay to fail, just keep trying.'
Over the years, I have been trying to change my attitude towards my defeats and learn from my mistakes. I have noticed that many people, including myself, don't take kindly to failure. We see failure to be the end results of our efforts, or as the defining factors of our identity.
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As human beings, we will never overcome our fear by being sitting ducks and staying in our comfort zone; we need to be pushed to our limits. Some of the most progressive companies seek employees who are able to move out of their comfort zone and have records reflecting both failures and successes due to the growth in people’s ability to learn from their mistakes and hardships. There are two influential events in our life, school and the transition to adulthood.
The schooling system teaches students to fear the F at the top of the page circled in bold red ink, but instead, students should be told to ask for help if they don't get it right on the first go. Students could change the course of their lives for the better if they were told: 'failure is okay'.
'Success is forged through failure.' Everyone who has ever been successful in their life has failed their way to the top. Look at Michael Jordan. He is one of many famous basketball players and is regarded to be one of the most successful players of all time. In our “viral-video” culture, viewers are only shown the split second of his winning shot or three-pointers, making us believe the lie that he was born with this natural talent and haven’t practised or prepared for days on end. “I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. On 26 occasions, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed.” Although many people are born with natural abilities, viewers don't take into account that one big moment was created after hours, days, or years of preparation.
If you're failing, you're aiming correctly. For one to succeed, you must have a goal. If you do not have a goal, you are neither succeeding or failing, you are merely being. However, if you do have a set goal and aren't making mistakes, you may not be aiming to achieve your full potential. To succeed, you need to be aiming for that extra step up and ensure there is a risk of failing. It does not mean aim for the impossible, it means you need to be aiming for high standards that will push you. Failure is your scale to check if you have goals that are set at that slightly higher standard.
The bigger the failure, the better. Failing to fail means nothing. If I didn't know the rules to tennis or even how to play it, I would lose the game instantly. Here's an equation that might put things in perspective: Value of a fail = time invested x effort invested x preparation invested
If I paid for tennis lessons and trained for 5 months, then it would be a failure worth having. The amount of preparation and effort I put into that fail would not only make me better at tennis but would also set me up for success the next time a tried.
It's only a complete fail when you give up. If I keep trying, I haven't failed. Every time you try again, you get closer to reaching your goal and succeeding. When you give up is when you fail. Remember, failing once only means you have another chance.
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