What could possibly lead to dissociation among families?
For my individual Global Perspective project, I deepened my understanding of Family. The sub-topic that I would be focusing on is avoidance and communication failures. Deeply with the thought of preventing families who are going through separations and are dealing with family issues, I want to use my knowledge and research to find out in what ways we can prevent it, so families could have a stronger bond. I chose this particular topic based on personal experience since I have personally experienced people avoiding each other whether the problem is a big concern or just a minor fault, avoidance can lead to really strong hatred and soon develops into the want of separation. As I have disagreed, I felt like the whole process was simply based on fallacious, avoiding shouldn’t be a choice when trying to resolve a certain issue. I feel like the family bond is the most dominant among others, everyone in the family deserves to experience love from each other. As I researched, it taught me how deep family love is and how hurt a person could be to be avoided by someone who used to love them. A few simple words can change the future and relationship of a person to another.
As a married or dating couple, arguments are what brings you together when you have different opinions but it can also make them grow apart if the problem is not properly solved. This may even influence the kids, the actions kids view from a very young age will cause them to do the same acts when they grow older, imagine having your kids avoid all their school problems and becoming depressed, most cases are because they are afraid they’ll get in trouble but a big number is also avoiding it because they think their parents were able to solve their problems by simply avoiding each other. A simple example is children under a certain age who don’t understand what lying and embarrassment feel like, whenever they are facing a problem, the first thing they would do is tell their parents or teachers, but when you’re slightly older, you get agitated by what’s going to happen to you when you start speaking up. In some cases, when a child is committing an action where the mother feels like it’s not suitable for them, the father will disagree and believe that what the child is doing is perfectly normal. These disagreements may end up leading to a serious argument even though they started off with a simple opinion. If you are involved in a fight or family issue and your opposite stays silent, you should be the one to speak up and ask why they are not expressing themselves to you and what their thoughts were, the opposite will mostly respond to you but if they leave you, there will always be another way, as stated earlier, avoidance is not a choice.
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Some of the solutions I have considered are other close relatives bringing in the family members that are in the midst of an argument and trying to help them figure out the situation together. If this is possible, it would help many families or friends that are holding in their anger toward each other. It’s also possible to do it online, through chat. Some people are not yet ready to face each other after a disturbing fight that parted the two, using chat as a way to communicate could also help solve a problem that is not too deep down into their worries. In my opinion, it’s not the right decision to avoid a problem by escaping, because the more you avoid it, the worst the other thinks of you.
It is most important to talk back when you’re supposed to, that’s the only way the opposite can learn their lesson. Violence can’t be solved easily, it requires both sides to show patients and understanding toward each other to be able to resolve the misunderstanding or argument that they had. Sometimes, talking back to parents might be disrespectful in many ways as the parents don’t consider your feelings and think you’re just trying to argue with them. In this case, you should go to other adults, like your aunt, uncle, or anyone else like their homeroom teachers at school to speak up in their place. Other family members should learn to support each other, it creates a bond between you and the one that needs help if you’re willing to stand up for each other. Once you get comfortable with each other, it’ll be easier to sort out problems between them in the future and they won’t have to go through so much trouble avoiding and hating each other. Just like friendship, love has its limit and a time when it doesn’t rely on each other but if you solve it as fast as possible, every problem has a solution.
A lot of adults choose to use violence as a way to make sure the opponent doesn’t fight back at their opinions, but this is a serious crime that can cause many to be placed behind bars. Family violence is illegal in some countries and police are taking serious legal actions to make sure families don’t use action to solve their problems. Even if you start a fight, in the end, the problem will still remain and nothing will be spoken out. It might cause greater harm and for married couples, it could lead to divorce. Even though the wife or husband may seem like two strong opponents when they are arguing, there is always one that actually has the heart to end it but couldn’t because the opponent is too powerful in their actions and words making both sides more competitive. All violence does to you is putting scars on your life and one day, you’ll start regretting losing such a beautiful family. When you have a family, a part of you wants to admit you love them but to look fierce, some choose to act like they are not concerned about the family at all. This is a common problem, it can be caused by mental thoughts or especially high ego.
Personal Perspectives
To deepen my understanding of this topic and to consider different perspectives, I interviewed a few of my classmates. The questions I prepared are first, what do you think about it and how does avoiding family members usually starts? And second, why do people choose to avoid it instead of solving it together? From the people I interviewed, some of the answers were quite similar, yet some are far different. As for the first question, the answers were quite similar, the most common cause of family avoidance based on their answers are misunderstanding and comparison. By comparison, some parents tend to treat a certain child with a better attitude than the other, comparing grades, or because of their respective gender. These are more possible reasons for family members living under one roof. But one of the people I interviewed said that distance creates awkwardness with each other which leads to ignoring and avoiding, this mostly happens if your other family member is living far from you. Now that it’s easy to travel around the world and set in at a certain part of the world that your family chooses, this leads to people moving all around the world frequently and separating themselves from family members creating distance. The consequence of living far from your family is that once you are united again, you lose confidence in yourself to approach them because you think they might change in personality or any other possible changes. When both sides think this way, the relationship is broken and you’ll eventually avoid each other.
The second question was, why do think they choose to avoid each other? This question earned different opinions and answers. The first person stated that it they might be distracted doing other work that stops them from dealing with it right away, some people who are busy, choose to focus on their work rather than getting distracted by unpleasant situations. The second person says that some people are stubborn and don’t like to be controlled by others, they know that talking it out won’t make things any better since they will still have hatred toward the other. The last person’s opinion was because they don’t want the other family member to feel burdened or pressured that the problem between them is brought up, keeping it inside of them will make it more peaceful, however, it’s just peaceful on the outside, but it’s burning on the inside. I learned from their responses that all three people were considering people’s feelings before they say the words they mean, which indicates that even when they’re fighting, they keep their kind hearts active as a source of support for their problems.
Global Perspectives
People all around the world shared their thoughts and opinion on Family communication as there are many problems surrounding it. Based on research on global perspectives, many people all around the world shared similar thoughts on this issue. Emphasizing the role that communication plays in both creating and solving family issues, this new edition of perspectives on Family Communication thoroughly reflects the explosion of research literature in the area of family communication on such topics as the broadened definition of family, current demographic aspects of family types, more such as up to date references on family theory, storytelling, divorce, and conflict.
People globally think family avoidance and lack of communication is the main reason leading to separations and reporting family members to the police as a result of insult when it’s mainly just based on personal opinion. The problem started small when people were always talking everything out and is close to almost everyone in their families, but with the development of technology, more and more people are too lazy to speak up, and everything on the internet seems more interesting than life issues. This issue has been called worldwide. To be able to prevent the issue from worsening, many think people should start realizing what is more important and valuable in life, family or the internet.
Conclusion
As a conclusion of my essay about family avoidance and communication failures, based on what I’ve stated earlier, it’s a serious issue and is something everyone has to work together to prevent enlarging the issue further. A little summary of everything I wrote, avoidance is basically the one thing people think would be the best suited to solve their family problems, this thought mostly comes in people over the age of 11 when they have already started to understand things differently. Communication failure is the next serious cause of separation as it plays a very big role in everyone’s daily life and also between one person to another other. My goal for the project is to improve family relationships, although I won’t be able to do it mentally it is possible to help them solve their misunderstandings, if we are able to get families together, anything is possible if we try to communicate and interact with each other. That concludes my Global Perspectives research project essay.
Research Sites:
- https://www.reference.com/world-view/causes-lack-communication-families-37f01e37cdc78291
- A chart of the increase and decrease in the number of divorces from 1985-2016.
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