Many today enter into relationships and insist over and over again that their partners are perfect, but soon the intimacy of marriage starts to reveal faults and habits that irritates them. They begin to say marriage life would be more enjoyable if their partners would conform to their ideas of how a perfect mate should order their lives.
Accepting your mate means you view your partner as a person of worth, and that you like him/her as he/she is and can respect his/her right to be dissimilar from you. Allow him/her to posses his/her feelings about matters, thus accepting his/her attitudes of the moment no matter how they may differ from yours.
It is highly rewarding to accept someone just as he/she is even though it is not easy to do. Before we take our relationship to another level, we are to ask ourselves some questions like: “Can we accept them when they look at life’s problems differently than we do? Can we permit to have separate likes and dislikes than us? Can we accept them when they feel angry towards us? Can we respect their right to choose their beliefs and develop their own values?”
In life accepting others doesn’t come that easy because of the common resistance to allow our loved ones to feel differently about particular issues than we do. Yet the right of an individual to use his experience in his own way and to discover his own meanings, is one of the most priceless possibilities in life. One may ask at this point if one should pretend that his/her mate is perfect? I would say a big no to that. This is because acceptance is recognizing the imperfections of your partner and yet you don’t concern yourself with them but accepts him/her as he/she is.
Most people feel that they have been practicing acceptance of their partners when all they have done is tolerating them instead. They keep on mastering the strength to restrain criticism of their partners and continue their grimaces in a long painful silence. Every human can sense when he/she is merely being tolerated rather than being accepted. If we can start from this day to control critical remarks about our partners before we freely state them, then we may take the very first step towards accepting them.
It is important for one in his quest to accepting others, have the ability to accept himself first, because self-acceptance helps one to become more aware of others’ needs and feelings. This will help us to become more content to ourselves and to let others to be themselves.