Essay about My Grandmother

My grandma was born in the year of 1937. When I went to research what generation that year belongs to, I found the term “The Silent Generation”. I have not heard of this before. “This relatively small generation found itself sandwiched between the war hero G.I.s and the large and influential Baby Boomer generation,..” (Sanburn, J, 2019). The Silent Generation belongs to individuals born between 1925 and 1942, “who were children during World War II but too young to fight.” (Sanburn, J, 2015). The term first made its appearance in 1951. The author of the article, Josh Sanburn, goes on to explain that the people born in those years haven’t been known to make much political noise such as making posters or making speeches. He asks in the article, “What does the silence mean?”. I asked my grandmother and she responded that she does not know and that she was not aware of this term.

When my grandmother and I were on the topic of her health, I asked her how she thought she was doing at this point in her life. She does not like how she is aging but says that she knows that she could have it much worse. I would categorize her response as “fair”, which is 23.7% of how older adults who are 75 and older feel (Morrow, D, Clientele 2, November 13, 2019).

I have noticed changes in her Integumentary system, which is a system that consists of the nails, glands, hair, and nails (Bourhenne, C. (2007). Her hair is thinning, becoming more white than gray and the age spots that are on her arms and hands are becoming a little darker. She has expressed to me before that the thinning of her hair makes her feel ugly. She tends to cough after laughing, which leads me to believe that her Respiratory system, the primary organ is the lungs, (Bourhenne, C. (2007) been affected by smoking cigarettes most of her life.

My grandmother has no comment on ageism, as she believes that she has always been treated with respect. Both she and I believe that since she lives in the country in Ontario, she has fewer interactions with strangers and the public, therefore she has not had as many interactions as she would if she lived in Montreal. She says if she lived in Montreal, her experience with ageism would probably be different, as in there would be more rude people being impatient with her and her slow mobility.

2. My grandmother has arthritis in her hands, which is “wearing down or degeneration of cartilage” (Morrow, D, Clientele 2, November 3, 2019). She also has psoriasis, which is very common in my family as my mother and uncle both have it. Psoriasis is a “common skin condition that speeds up the life cycle of skin cells. It causes cells to build up rapidly on the surface of the skin. The extra skin cells form scales and red patches that are itchy and sometimes painful.” (“Psoriasis”, 2019) She has psoriasis on her legs, feet, and as of recently, on the palms of her hands. This bothers her as she uses her hands a lot whilst crocheting. It is itchy and it can burn. My grandfather also has psoriasis but it is a lot worse. He often scratches his arms until they bleed and he leaves the skin around the house which angers my grandmother. My grandfather has also had shingles, which caused him a great deal of pain. My grandmother mentioned this and said she is lucky to have not gotten it, as she says it is very painful to have as an older adult.

My grandmother has had surgery for her cataracts and she is borderline diabetic. She takes medication for it and has to prick her finger every so often. She does not seem to know much about diabetes in general, as my boyfriend had been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes a year ago and she thinks that they both have the same thing.

My grandmother has been showing signs of depression, which is a mental illness that affects 5-10% of older adults (Morrow, D, Clientele 2, November 10, 2019). The signs are very low energy, negative emotions about humans in general, and talking down about herself (saying she is useless, for example.) My mother went to a doctor with my grandmother and the doctor prescribed the medication that she said would “help with leg pain”, but she lied. My mother told me that the doctor secretly prescribed my grandmother anti-depressants. I do not know how to feel about this, as I don’t think it’s necessarily right to give somebody a very life/mood-altering medication without their consent. I have asked my grandmother how she has been feeling since it usually takes one month for antidepressants to start working. She says she feels drowsy.

My grandmother has been showing personality changes and while my mother and uncle believe it is depression, I told them to be careful about Alzheimer's. Three symptoms are changes in mood or behavior, loss of initiative, and personality changes (Morrow, D, Clientele 2, November 20, 2019). She used to always be a positive person and saw people in a good light, now she is pessimistic and makes comments out loud about strangers. For example, I was in the car with her and we were waiting for the rest of the family to exit a restaurant. We could see my uncle's wife in the window. My grandmother said, “Jesus, look at her. Why is she dressing like she’s in her twenties?” and scoffed. She would never say something like this ten years ago. Or, somebody with an afro may walk by in public and she will say, “Wish they’d shave that thing off.” Luckily, the person did not hear her say this but she said it with enough volume that other people could have heard. I let my mother and uncle know about my concerns and they both agree that this is something we need to look out for.

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Her autonomy is low and this makes her feel useless, a word that I’ve mentioned previously. Older adults want control over the “making and implementation of every day” (Morrow, D, Clientele 2, October 29, 2019). She does not have much independence because she cannot walk too much without feeling pain. My uncle has moved their large freezer from the basement to the main floor so it is easier for both my grandparents to get food, and my mother has made many meals to put in the freezer so they do not have to cook. My grandmother used to be able to cook but cannot now since she would have to stand. She relies on my grandfather to drive, (she never drove in the relationship). My grandmother is experiencing a loss of social dependence, as she does not want to call her friends anymore. This is another sign of her personality change that I noticed and told my mother about. She says that all her friends do is complain, as they are older adults as well and have multiple medical problems and upcoming surgeries. She says they are boring and are finding faults in their personalities that she never mentioned in the past. She feels impatient when listening to them talk on the phone.

There are psychological factors that cause dependence, such as pain (mental and physical), fear and anxiety, and personality factors (Morrow, D, Clientele 2, October 29, 2019). The consequences of losing autonomy have negative effects on self-concept and perceived well-being and esteem, (Morrow, D, Clientele 2, October 29, 2019) and I can see these changes in self-perception in her.

She does not have much physical independence and does not do the light exercises that her doctor told her to do. This is not good, she needs to do these exercises because it helps her immune function and bone density. (Sollitto, M. (2012) She uses a walker and a cane.

My grandmother still lives at home with my grandfather. The house has a basement and two years ago, they installed a chair that they can sit on and it will bring them up and down the floors. They have a booster seat for their toilet with handles on the sides so it is easier for them to sit and get up. They have a stool in their shower. However, the health of my grandfather is declining very fast and my uncle is prepared for this. He has set up a room in his house for my grandma to live in once my grandfather passes, but he is keeping it a surprise for her. I think that he should tell her in advance, to help with any worries she might have about her future. My grandmother has always said that she will not rely on her children when she is in very old age, but my uncle wants to do this. She said, “I didn’t have children just to depend on them.” I would not say that she is aging abnormally, however, I do find that my grandfather's health is rapidly declining, and it hurts me to see him so weak.

3. If I had to link my grandmother to any myths regarding older adults, it would be two. I will be referring to the myths stated in the class notes, “Ageing: Myths & Reality Notes”. The first myth is, “Unable to learn or change.” When I tell her about topics I’ve learned about, she says, “You believe everything you read on the internet”, even if the topic has been on the news. I have told her that declawing a cat is harmful to the cat, and she said she doesn’t believe me because her cat has not shown signs of pain. We watched a documentary on TV about suicide, and she angrily said that she does not understand why suicidal people would seek out other depressed people because it’s counterproductive. When I tried to tell her that these people are trying to find others to relate with and feel less alone, she blew it off. She thinks that mental health news and updates are all exaggerations. I have noticed that she is not willing to learn about anything that she thinks she knows already.

The second myth I could relate to her is “Older people are lonely and withdrawn”. As mentioned previously, she does not want to talk to her friends anymore and she cuts phone calls short.

One myth that I can say that does not relate to my grandmother is, “All old people are the same”. My grandmother has always had dirty humor, and my boyfriend has told me that he has not met any older adult like her. I find that people often say that grandmothers are emotional and warm, but I have seen her cry maybe a handful of times in my whole life.

Another myth that she does not relate to is “Older people don’t contribute to society”. My grandmother likes to make blankets and send them to extended family members and will send some away to the less fortunate. She also makes donations all the time to SPCA.

4. As an SCC, I can advocate for my community to be more senior-friendly. An example of this would be to seek out areas that older adults may frequently visit, such as restaurants or malls, and make sure that the buildings are properly accommodated for those with mobility issues such as wheelchair users, cane users, etc. I mention the buildings first because, “Creating a positive environment begins with the very structure of our buildings” (Morrow, D, Clientele 2, October 9, 2019). If I were to work in a senior's residence, I would encourage older adults to take small walks with me and let them speak about whatever they want, so they are not focused on the idea that it is exercise. I would observe every individual older adult, what their limitations are and what tasks they struggle with. If they are struggling with picking up their utensils, I can get easy-to-grip utensils (Morrow, D, Clientele 2, November 6, 2019). I can make assessments and small goals for the older adults to help them gain independence and autonomy, such as making paintings that they can be proud of or letting them play on a piano. These activities help fire up their brains and will let them be creative. Ultimately, I would aim for the most respite care possible, because I do not want any older adult to feel hopeless or start to develop depression. “The combination of respite services and psychoeducational intervention is one of the most effective options for helping carers” (Cerrato, I. M. 2008). The biggest topic that has stayed with me throughout this course, is learning that depression is not just something that comes with age. I honestly thought that being old would naturally be depressing, but I was far from being right. It is important for everybody to remember that we will inevitably be older adults one day.