How parents raise their children is an important part of the child’s development. Parents are a key part of their child’s growth intellectually, emotionally, physically and socially, according to psychologytoday.com. The manner or style of the parenting will have everlasting effects on their kids, that will likely be passed on to their children. The theme of parenting in The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini is a key part to the development of the main character. The poor parenting that Baba uses to raise Amir directly affects how his personality develops. Traits that Amir developed from Baba’s bad parenting are; his need for praise, lack of courage, and selfishness.
The constant need for praise and attention by Amir is seemingly connected to the lack of attention given to him by his father. Amir is always trying to do things to impress Baba. He enters the kite fighting tournament for fun, but also to get noticed by Baba. During the kite fight Amir could not help but wonder about his father and how he will eact. “Was he cheering for me? Or did a part of him enjoy watching me fail?” (Hosseini 63). This instance shows how desperate Amir is for his father’s attention and subconsciously the only real reason he kite fights is for that attention. Amir’s jealousy from the lack of attention guides his emotions as well as his thoughts. While Baba was constructing the orphanage he was away for most of the day leaving Amir alone with Hassan and Ali. This made him think “I already hated all the kids he was building the orphanage for; sometimes I wished they’d all died along with their parents,” (18). Amir’s thoughts are so clouded with his need for attention that his mind has altered to the state where if Baba’s focus is not on him his thoughts become dark. When his need for praise is met, Amir becomes so shocked and overwhelmed because he has never experienced the feeling of fulfillment before. After Amir and
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How parents raise their children is an important part of the child’s development. Parents are a key part of their child’s growth intellectually, emotionally, physically and socially, according to psychologytoday.com. The manner or style of the parenting will have everlasting effects on their kids, that will likely be passed on to their children. The theme of parenting in The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini is a key part to the development of the main character. The poor parenting that Baba uses to raise Amir directly affects how his personality develops. Traits that Amir developed from Baba’s bad parenting are; his need for praise, lack of courage, and selfishness.
The constant need for praise and attention by Amir is seemingly connected to the lack of attention given to him by his father. Amir is always trying to do things to impress Baba. He enters the kite fighting tournament for fun, but also to get noticed by Baba. During the kite fight Amir could not help but wonder about his father and how he will eact. “Was he cheering for me? Or did a part of him enjoy watching me fail?” (Hosseini 63). This instance shows how desperate Amir is for his father’s attention and subconsciously the only real reason he kite fights is for that attention. Amir’s jealousy from the lack of attention guides his emotions as well as his thoughts. While Baba was constructing the orphanage he was away for most of the day leaving Amir alone with Hassan and Ali. This made him think “I already hated all the kids he was building the orphanage for; sometimes I wished they’d all died along with their parents,” (18). Amir’s thoughts are so clouded with his need for attention that his mind has altered to the state where if Baba’s focus is not on him his thoughts become dark. When his need for praise is met, Amir becomes so shocked and overwhelmed because he has never experienced the feeling of fulfillment before. After Amir and Soraya have moved in with the sick Baba, Amir catches Soraya reading one of his journals to Baba. It has taken decades for Baba to read his own sons writing and Amir has no clue how to react, “ I gave the notebook back to Soraya and left the room. Baba hated it when I cried, “ (172). Amir’s reaction shows just how emotionally attached he was to this praise and when he finally got it he was able to release all those bottled up emotions. Amir’s emotional attachment to being the best and needing attention is a direct link to how unnoticed he is as a child.
Amir’s lack of courage is the result of his father’s constant disappointment from his actions and inactions. Amir is a more gentle and quiet person, who normally keeps to himself and does not stand up for himself. Baba does not agree with this notion of living and is disappointed in his son. When Amir was younger Baba noticed that the other boys in the neighborhood would push him around, and he would let them. Baba was taken aback and ashamed of his son that he told Rahim Kahn that “ If I hadn’t seen the doctor pull him out of my wife with my own eyes, I’d never believe he’s my son,” (23). This private comment that Amir heard rips his confidence to and courage to shreds. It will take him most of his life to overcome and regain the courage that Baba takes from him at such a young age. One case that Amir could have changed with his courage, but could not because it was ripped from him, was when he could have saved Hassan. When Hassan is getting assaulted by Assef, Amir had the option to be courageous and save him. “In the end, I ran. I ran because I was a coward,” (77). Amir leaves Hassan because he has no bravery and does not want to intervene. Amir has never felt that he can be enough or will ever be enough for his father. Subconsciously he knows that no matter what he does or does not do Baba will not care, and why risk getting hurt for a Hazara. When Baba had passed Amir was finally starting to feel redeemed, like he was not a failure and less pressured. A short while after Rahim Khan calls Amir and tells him that he is sick and will not be around for much longer, knowing that Amir would come help him. “A week later, I sat on a window seat aboard a Pakistani International Airlines flight,” (194). Rahim is aware of what happened and what Amir did not do, and wants him to forgive and redeem himself. With Baba gone and most of his guilt gone, Rahim understands that Amir needs to help Sohrab and realize his courage, he simply needs a little push. Amir’s inactions and lack of courage are a consequence of Baba’s unrealistic and judging expectations of how his son should act.
Amir’s selfish personality correlates with the method that Baba handled raising him. he had everything he could want and never had to think about other people, only his own welfare and how he was perceived by Baba. Amir is especially selfish when it comes to the little affection and attention Baba gives him. After winning the kite fight Amir was overjoyed at the attention he was receiving and asks to go to Jalalabad with Baba. Hassan is still recovering from the attack in the alley, but Babe asks if Hasan should join them and Amir thinks, “Why did Baba have to spoil it like that?” (82). He knows what Hassan is going through and that he needs support, however the thought of sharing Baba with anyone else is unthinkable to Amir. His selfishness also pushed him to do things to make his problems disappear. Hassan was causing Amir too much guilt and uneasiness that he did the only thing that he thought could solve the issue. “I lifted Hassan’s mattress and planted my new watch and a handful of Afghani bills under it,” (104). Since he was given everything he ever needed he did not know how to confront issues or solve problems, which is evident in the solution that he believed would solve his issues. Another instance of selfishness was when Baba was building the orphanage in town. Since Amir was so incapable of sharing his father, he resented it during the construction because it took time away from bonding, “I already hated all the kids he was building the orphanage for; sometimes I wished they’d all died along with their parents,” (18). Amir was so selfish that he wished ill on many children whose parents had perished, just because Baba could not spend time with him and Amir was used to getting anything he wanted. This selfishness provided by the spoiled manner of the way that Baba raised Amir affected almost everyone around him.
Amir grew up with the poor and inexperienced parenting style of his father Baba. This impacts every person in Amir’s life with his selfishness, need for praise and lack of courage. The person that can be held accountable for Amir’s personality development and outcomes of his actions is Baba. Parents do not understand how they affect their children’s development, even though it can make a huge impact in their lives.
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