The common synonym for homosexual, gay, was initially used as a code word between homosexuals. It has moved into common speech to describe homosexual women and men, as well as the socio-political concerns related to homosexual orientation. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines a homosexual as a person who is sexually attracted to people of the same sex. Over time, the word ‘gay’ has primarily been used to refer to homosexual men while a lesbian is a female who is attracted to other females. The lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) community should, like any other well-meaning and financially stable families, undoubtedly be allowed to adopt children.
Opponents of this debate, a majority of whom would indisputably be subscribed to a religious sect, would most likely highlight the ‘risk’ associated with having homosexual parents. MacLeod, Crawford, and Zechmeister (1999) studied a group of heterosexual college students. They found that more frequent church attendance was weakly associated with students believing that the adopted child of a gay male parent would benefit from custody reassignment and would suffer from sexual orientation and gender confusion if she or he remained with their gay parent. This argument is irrelevant as it is inappropriate to suggest that having homosexual parents would confuse their adopted child’s gender identities and sexual orientations. The suggestion that homosexuality is contagious is far-fetched at best and unrelated to the main argument because homosexuality is not a disease to be avoided in the first place. Similarly, when children of heterosexual parents ‘come out’ – the oft-used shortened form of the phrase coming out of the closet, a metaphor for the self-disclosure of LGBT people's sexual orientation or their gender identity – critics do not usually ask why their parents failed to influence heterosexual tendencies.
The importance of common biological parentage for optimum child well-being, found in a 2015 study by Sullins, raises the difficult prospect that higher child emotional problems may be a persistent feature of same-sex parent families since they are distinguished from opposite-sex parents in just this capacity. It is difficult to conceive how same-sex parents could ever replicate the level of benefit for child well-being that is the case in opposite-sex relationships involving two biological parents, since same-sex partners cannot, at least at present, conceive a child that is the biological offspring of both partners, in the way that every child conceived by opposite-sex partners is such. Admittedly, the level of discrimination children from same-sex families could undergo cannot be swept under the rug, but this argument is in itself weak because it ignores the fact that children are bullied for a myriad of reasons. While bullying is wrong and should not even happen in the first place, I wonder whether there would be a parent more equipped to help their children handle it than one who has most certainly undergone discrimination themselves.
Participants (38%) of a separate study perceived that their identities increased empathy, openness, and compassionate action as well as feelings of a sense of responsibility for using their life experiences to contribute to their communities and society. For example, a 59-year-old ‘white gay man’ shared: “If there is any one thing [positive about being religious/spiritual and LGBTQ], I believe it is empathy since I grew up when gay was not OK, and have felt the sting of ostracism from my peers” (Rosenkrantz, Rostosky, Riggle, & Cook, 2016). The argument that children of adoptive gay parents suffer discrimination from their peers ignores significant information, including but not limited to, that same-sex parents would be empathetic and compassionate towards their ostracized children, they would probably be more open and willing to discuss their issues as they themselves are openly gay, and they might be even more equipped to deal with said issues, having a small, close-knit support group of gay and lesbian peers to fall back on.
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People who object to same-sex partners being allowed to adopt children criticize their lack of a mother or father figure in gay and lesbian partnerships respectively. Most of them argue that children brought up in the absence of a nurturing mother and the firm hand of a father figure lacks developmentally in one way or another. Although this reasoning seems sound on the surface, it is wrong because countless children are brought up in non-nuclear families and end up doing just as well as, if not better, than their peers of nuclear family upbringing. Extended family members often raise orphaned children in many African families, and often it is a grandmother, uncle, or even older sibling who ends up taking on the parental role. Nobody bats an eyelid when the adoptive parents are biologically related to the child in question; the reverse should not be any different.
Additionally, a lot of contemporary Western families have deviated from the societal gender norms that had become the usual, and therefore having same-sex parents might not be as detrimental to a child’s upbringing as opponents might want us to believe. Many heterosexual mothers have taken on the provider role, working corporate jobs, while their husbands stay at home and become the primary caregivers. Their children still get all the necessary facets of regular upbringing and in this way, children of gay and lesbian adoptive parents could still enjoy the wholeness of a traditional nuclear family, as seen with the fluidity of current gender roles.
The most powerful argument against the legalization of same-sex adoptive parenthood perhaps is that it is ‘unnatural’ for homosexual couples to have children because, at the very fundamental level, they cannot produce their own biological offspring. Critics claim that only heterosexual couples who can procreate should be allowed to legally adopt children. These faultfinders do not take into consideration the fact that barren women and infertile men in heterosexual relationships are also in the same predicament. Is it right to deny the former what we allow the latter? It is not up to us to infringe on the rights of other human beings based on outdated societal norms. Prerequisites for adoption in Kenya are exclusionary by nature, requiring one to first already be a parent (Little Angels Network, Kenya, 2019). This discriminates against same-sex parenthood ever so subtly because to be a mother or a father of a child, the couple must first adopt one, and they couldn’t because they aren’t already a mother or father of a child. It is a vicious cycle.
While I admit that the adoption of children by gay and lesbian parents can be complicated and have some downfalls, any adoption process comes at a cost. In different parts of the world, childcare facilities are at capacity with many children outgrowing their homes and being forced to move out into the street after acquiring the age of majority or attaining an ‘undesirable’ age for a foster child, usually adolescent (Shared Justice, 2017). These parents that the world is fighting so hard to disallow adoption rights to would provide loving households for these orphaned and/or unwanted children, answering the shortage of foster parents and significantly reducing the number of orphaned and disadvantaged children in society. Every other day, there is an abandoned baby, a poorly disposed of fetus, or a begging street child on the news or the street. The current system is obviously not working. And heterosexual married partners are not filling the gap. Would it then be so bad to allow these willing, able, and consenting adults to save some lives and rescue some babies?
References
- Crooks, R., & Baur, K. (2011). Our Sexuality. Belmont, CA: Wadsworth, Cengage Learning.
- Little Angels Network, Kenya. (2019). Adoption. Retrieved from Little Angels Network: http://www.littleangelsnetwork.org/adoption/
- Rosenkrantz, D. E., Rostosky, S. S., Riggle, E. D., & Cook, J. R. (2016). The Positive Aspects of Intersecting Religious/Spiritual and LGBTQ Identities. Spirituality in Clinical Practice, 3(2), 127 -138. doi:10.1037.
- Shared Justice. (2017, March 30). Aging Out of Foster Care: 18 and on Your Own. Retrieved from Shared Justice: http://www.sharedjustice.org/most-recent/2017/3/30/aging-out-of-foster-care-18-and-on-your-own
- Sullins, D. (2015, January 25). Emotional Problems among Children with Same-Sex Parents: Difference by Definition. British Journal of Education, Society and Behavioural Science, 7(2), 114 - 115. doi:10.2139.
- Whitehead, A. L., & Perry, S. L. (2016). Religion and Support for Adoption by Same-Sex Couples: The Relative Effects of Religious Tradition, Practices, and Beliefs. Journal of Family Issues, 37(6), 789–813. doi:10.1177/0192513X14536564.
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