When I first met Jose, we were in the 6th grade at Lamar middle school. I was instantly drawn to his sense of humor, he was always cracking jokes in school, staying in trouble all the time, but it kept us entertained. We remained best friends until he moved to Arizona our Freshman year.
We kept in touch through a few phone calls, mostly thru Facebook. He would continue to joke about the plans we had when we were younger about the kinds of cars we would get. My dream car was a black BMW, man it was so nice, clean, with sharp rims, it was all I worked for, and I purchased it a few months after he moved back, he was about excited as I was.
I had graduated from high school and to my surprise a couple of years later Jose had moved back home. It was like no time had passed at all, we instantly connected again.
Jose’s mom raised him along with her partner. He was so lucky to have 2 moms that loved him so much. He always had much respect for both of them. Jose did not have a whole lot of friends, so I was the lucky one when he called me his friend. When we would go school clothes shopping we would even dress the same, sounds kinda weird I know but that’s what brothers do. We often got a lot of smack from guys at school, but we didn’t care.
He was always welcomed at my home. My dad took him under his wing and treated him like a son. My mom would never turn him away, he spent more time at my house than he did his own, and he even had his own drawer for his clothes. My parents loved him like he was their own, they disciplined and took care of him. When my mom grocery shopped she would call him and ask him what he wanted for dinner, or what he wanted to snack on, she knew his likes and his dislikes. The crazy thing was my sister was his first girlfriend, that’s a whole different story. My other siblings treated him like a brother, and it was mutual respect all the way around. My grandmother even included him for Christmas dinner, Easter, and every holiday.
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I’m not sure if anyone knew that he took boxing lessons when he was younger. He put me in my place one time, by kicking my butt. But he always had my back, no matter what.
I stand before his family and everyone else in this room. Admitting to all this accident was my fault. My careless action has taken away a son and my best friend. There are no words to describe the hurt I have in my heart, the pain I have in my heart. I cannot look at myself in the mirror. The only thing that is keeping me going is, knowing, that I will see him again soon, and knowing that God forgives everyone, it’s just so hard to forgive myself. I know that in time, the whole I have in my heart will close a little every day, but right now, it’s wide open.
I will miss his laugh, he always knew how to talk me down when things were going crazy in my life. He taught me to show respect to my mom and my dad. I can appreciate that now. There are so many things that I would have done differently that day. I would have not gone down that winding, country back road. I sure would have NOT picked up my cell phone when I heard the text notification go off. It could have waited. We had a good day planned. We were on our way to pick up our girlfriends to have lunch and headed to a movie later that night. I had to be the one to call his mom and tell her the news, that is a scream I will never forget, it will stay with me forever. I did not expect the reaction from his mom that I got, she hugged me like I have never been hugged before. She apologized to me for losing my friend, she asked me if I was okay. That made me respect her even more. I will choose the do this every year, I will celebrate his birth along with me and my family. My sister will make his favorite cake, my dad will cook his favorite bbq, my mom will cook his favorite noodles, and my siblings will release balloons and sing happy birthday.
Kids my age think that we are untouchable, that we will never be touched by any harm, and we will live forever. My stupid actions proved me wrong, and I will continue to regret this decision for the rest of my life.
I lost my best friend, Jose's mom lost their son. Because of a stupid choice, I made. I cannot bring him back, I can only change the way I think and make better choices. I am truly sorry for all the hurt and pain I have caused you all. I look out at all the tears, Jose would not have wanted all the sadness and long faces, he would have wanted a celebration of his life, bright colors, and lots of laughter, so let’s celebrate his life. Let’s go out and make a difference in other people’s life, telling the story of his life and his love of life.
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