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Friendship essentially involves a distinctive kind of relationship with a friend, a relationship which can be understood as a kind of love. Records of ancient Greek philosophers, like Aristotle in his book The Nicomachean Ethics, distinguish three types of love: agape, eros, and filia. Agape is a virtuous, compassionate, and unconditional love; by Christian tradition, it means the sort of love God has for his creation. By contrast, eros and filia are generally understood to be towards properties, especially goodness or beauty. Eros is a passionate love, associated with romance, while Filia is a utility-bond, like that of soldiers or co-workers. This specific love is relevant to friendship and often the bond that Christians have with one another. There are many examples of filia throughout the Scriptures, but the most prominent seems to be David and Jonathon in the Old Testament. Types of friendships often get confused or muddled, but with David and Jonathan in the Bible, there is a certain example that many Christians today have with one another.
Scripture has many stories that teach lessons or have morals, but perhaps the one that often goes overlooked is Jonathon and David. David was to be king of Israel, but Jonathon's father, Saul, already possessed that title. The story of these two friends was mainly covered in 1 Samuel. It is evident that the friendship between David and Jonathon was not brotherly from the start, but rather a camaraderie. After David was promised kingship from God and defeated Goliath in 1 Samuel 17, Jonathon went to praise David for his victory in battle. Of course, his father, King Saul, was envious of the praise that this young boy was receiving and attempted many times to end David's life. Jonathon, on the other hand, began to protect his new friend from his father. (1 Samuel 19:1-2) This is an example of Aristotle's filia, a utility bond, which lasts only as long as someone benefits from it, for it is selflessness that creates a strong friendship. 'It is those who desire the good of their friends for the friend's sake that are most truly friends because each loves the other for what he is, and not for any incidental quality.' (Nicomachean Ethics bk 8, 115 6b, 10-11). Later, Jonathon spoke with David about their friendship, saying, 'The Lord, the God of Israel, be witness! When I have sounded out my father, about this time tomorrow, or the third day, behold, if he is well disposed toward David, shall I not then send and disclose it to you? But should it please my father to do you harm, the Lord do so to Jonathan and more also if I do not disclose it to you and send you away, that you may go in safety. (1 Samuel 20:12-13) This passionate speech exemplifies Jonathon's desire to defy his father and protect David, with God on their side. From this moment, it was clear Jonathon saw that David was looked favorably upon by God, and Saul's envy and hatred were an act of defying God. So, from his father's wrongdoing, he felt it his duty to assist David's escape from the courts with his life, as it was the will of God. In 1 Samuel 18:1, the writer of the book described their friendship in this way: 'The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.'
After David fled Judah, he heard news of the Philistines invading again, overtaking and murdering Saul and his sons, including Jonathon. He wept for his friend, lamenting, ' I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women!' (1 Samuel 1:26). It is notable that David also said that he loved Jonathon like a brother and compared it to the love of a woman, like a mother would her son. Overall, this displays the magnitude of love David developed for Jonathon. As a result of their friendship, the nature of friendship itself can be best described through means of love. Aristotle pondered this in his writings. 'If friendship consists more in loving than being loved, and if people are commended for loving their friends, it seems that loving is the distinctive virtue of friends. This it is when love is given in accordance with merit that people remain friends and their friendship endures.' (Nicomachean Ethics bk 8, 115 9a, 35). This ultimately states that friendship is complete and at its purest form when two people love each other more than themselves, creating a complete friendship.
As Aristotle wrote in book 8 of Nicomachean Ethics, friendship is necessary and virtuous, and this is clearly presented in the friendship of David and Jonathon. Two unlikely young men from different backgrounds, one a prince, the other a shepherd, came together to protect one another and became the best of friends. Aristotle discussed the three types of friendships: those which get utility out of it, pleasure, or complete friendship (Nicomachean Ethics bk 8, 115 6a-6b 7). While at first David and Jonathon had a utility bond, filia, they ultimately developed a completeness: agape. Agape is the love in Scripture that God has for his children and those who love him. It is a selfless love, pure, compassionate, and unconditional. The nature of friendship itself, based on that of the two young men from the Bible, is founded in love, following the example of Christ and his unconditional selfless love on the cross.
David and Jonathon's friendship is an example that can be followed in the church. Initially, Jonathon used David's connection to God as a means to grow his spirituality, just as all Christians should challenge one another in their own spiritual growth. Often, they are tied together in a way that the souls mirror each other, so they can see a Christ-like resemblance, encouraging and protecting one another from the devil's fiery arrows, much like Jonathon protecting David. In everyday relationships, one of the three loves exists. The example David and Jonathon set in the Old Testament is filial and agape, being a development, like all friendships.
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